At the Rainbow's End (38 page)

“As usual,” she said, her lips twitching. She wondered why she could not remain angry when he was with her, his eyes sparkling like sun reflected in the tumbling waters of the Bonanza.

“Sam,
will
you come home?”

“I don't know.” Her response was as serious as his question.

“Sweetheart, what do you have here?”

She answered him with a question of her own, “What did you tell Kevin?”

He reached across the table to corral her hands between the long rails of his fingers. “I told him you had stayed on to help a friend who came on the
Merwyn
with you. He believed the lie I devised about her being pregnant and sick. I couldn't tell him the truth.”

“And what is the truth?”

His look pierced the hard shell she had created to shield herself from pain she could not face and released the agony locked in her heart. He lifted her fingers to his mouth, summoning memories of passionate kisses. A lurch at her center warned her that this simple caress of his lips on her skin could twist her back to his will.

She pulled her hands away and clasped them in her lap. “Well?” she demanded, wanting to regain the offensive in this battle of wits.

“The truth you know, Sam. That I am so incredibly in love with you I cannot see sense. I couldn't believe a woman as wonderful as you could love me, after being rejected by one who cannot compare with you. It wasn't you I was so angry at, but myself. Although I loved you, I had still intended to use you, to hurt a woman who had hurt me. Knowing how I wounded you, though, how could I allow my plans to reach fruition? I was in torment, Sam. I was so guilty and confused I did everything in my power to sabotage our betrothal.”

“Our betrothal was a joke!” she snapped. “A drunken proposal you could not figure out how to escape from. You only wanted me to—”

He interrupted her. Pain furrowed his brow. “No, Sam. That is what I thought at times, I admit. I thought I might still love Camilla, too, and the anguish I felt was because of that. How much more it hurt to lose you! Compared to the agony I've suffered since you walked away with that Mountie, Camilla's leaving me seems of no more consequence than a skeeter bite.”

“So?”

“You aren't going to make it easy for me, are you?”

“You have never made it easy for me.”

Gazing intently into her eyes, he murmured, “Darling, I love you. I don't want any other woman. I know you love me, too. Why don't you come home? Where else do you belong, but with me?”

He stroked her roughened hands before raising them to his lips once more. “If you don't come back to Fifteen Above, won't that mean you don't love me? If you do love me, as I love you, I can't imagine you refusing.”

“You mean after you have humbled yourself and begged me?”

“Exactly.” When she did not answer, he changed to a casual, light tone, “So, how's the laundry business?”

“Debilitating.” She held up her hands. “I thought they looked horrible when I was doing laundry for Liberty and his friends. Look at them now.”

Pressing her rough palms to his mouth, he whispered, “Sam, you know I think everything about you is beautiful.” He drew her toward him. “Listen, honey, when Kevin and I can break through the ice, the gold still appears in our pans, as if someone is pouring it in the water upstream. By the time the
Merwyn
comes into Dawson, we'll have enough money to turn our backs on this frozen mudhole and return to the States as millionaires.”

“I've told you the money isn't why I came here.”

He looked at her, his expression serious and sincere. “It's why I came. But, Sam, if I leave with only gold I will have lost the true treasure I found in the Yukon.”

Her reply was lost in the hubbub as a waiter placed two bowls in front of them, and slopped thick chunks of fish and vegetables into them. When he asked if they wanted anything else, they shook their heads without looking at him. Enrapt, deaf to every noise in the busy room, neither lifted a spoon.

“So, you missed me?” asked Samantha. As she saw the truth of his love for her on his earnest face, joy rushed through her, but she was not ready to tell him what she had decided.

“That is the most foolish thing you have ever asked.” Intense, blue fire burned in his eyes. “Sam, this isn't easy for me to say. Forgive me, my love. My only crime has been a stupid desire for revenge and—perhaps—loving you too much.”

She yearned to give in to his request. More than anything, she wanted to be with Joel. He made her heart sing with love. With him, the winter nights were less harsh and the spring mornings more precious. She had been miserable while they were separated. His love delighted her. She did not want to lose it.

There was something far more important. She must not lose Samantha Perry.

“You want to suffocate me, Joel. I can't return to submerging my will beneath another's. I lived like that for too long in my brother's house. And I won't be the one you flaunt before the woman who hurt you so badly.”

“I told you, Camilla is out of my life.”

“Even if you return to Lynchburg?” She patted his hand. “Joel, I can't be her. All I can be is Samantha Perry, and I've learned a lot about myself in the last year. I know I'll never risk letting you hurt me again.”

“Do you think you were the only one hurt? Do you think a man feels nothing, because he hides his broken heart behind a wall of stone? For each time you've cried since we were together last, I've wanted to cry.” He took her hands and whispered, “You consigned me to torture when we parted, Sam. Don't send me back. Without you, heaven would be hell.”

She stared at him, unsure what to say. Although he had spoken to her many times of love, never had he told her so sweetly of his yearning to spend the rest of his life with her. Only once, when he had been drunk …

When she did not speak, he felt pain searing him. His foolish confusions about Camilla might have cost him everything. Knowing he must be completely open with her, he said, “Sam, I love you. If you leave Dawson, I will, too. I will follow you wherever you go until you consent to be mine.”

“Joel, I don't know. You—”

“Think about it before you answer me. Please. Think about it for five minutes, before you tell me what is in your heart.” He grasped her hands again and pulled her to her feet, then left enough money to pay for their untouched meal. As he led her from the room, she knew that she wanted to share everything she possessed with him.

With her hand on his arm, they walked along the boardwalk toward Mrs. Kellogg's laundry. The cold from the river cut into their faces, but they ignored the snow and the ice formations. Deep in their thoughts, they did not feel the vagaries of the winter clinging to the hillsides.

After walking for a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, he reached past her to take her other hand. She looked in confusion at the small, leather bag he had given her. With a smile, he said, “That's the gold you hid in the loft. It belongs to you. Take it back to the States, and you can live in comfort for the rest of your life. If you decide you don't want me, I'll make sure you get your share of what we took from the river.”

“A third of this should belong to you, and a third to Kevin. We were partners, after all.”

“Does that mean you're leaving? It's been close enough to five minutes. Tell me the truth, honey. Are you leaving?”

“Yes. I'm leaving Dawson as soon as possible.”

Stopping, his mouth twisted in pain, he said, “I understand, Sam.”

She gripped his arms and shook him. He did not take his eyes from her. “Listen! Will you listen to me
once
, without jumping to conclusions?”

“Me?” Joel gasped, wondering how she could smile at this parting. Perhaps she was enjoying this revenge. The Sam he loved would not do that. His callous treatment must have changed her.

She laughed at his incredulity. Then her smile softened. Ignoring prospectors who paused to watch and listen, she lifted her hands and put them around his neck. “You foolish man, don't you understand? I am leaving Dawson as soon as I can. The only reason I'm delaying is—”

He said sadly, “The ice on the Yukon—”

“… I'm waiting for the man I love to finish searching for the gold waiting at the end of his rainbow. When Joel Gilchrist is ready to leave, I want to go with him as his wife.”

Sure of her intention to leave him, Joel needed time to grasp the meaning of her words. In a few seconds, a slow smile spread along his lips and up into his eyes. Then he grabbed her and pressed his mouth over hers.

As he kissed her again and again, she did not feel the icy fingers of the wind. When he raised his head to look down at her, she touched his hair with trembling fingers. When he captured her lips again, the joy of reconciliation melted into a passion to share what they had known all too seldom.

He took her hand and reached for the door nearest to them. Her eyes held by his, she did not notice it said “Fairview Hotel.” With his arm around her shoulders, leaning against him, dazed by love, she walked in perfect unison with him up the stairs to his room.

He ushered her in, already loosening the buttons on his coat. Sliding the latch in place, he stepped eagerly into her welcoming arms. As he undid her heavy parka, he murmured against her ear, “I love you, Sam. I know now I don't want any other woman, for any other reason. I want you. Because I love you. Never doubt that again.”

“I never will,” she whispered, giving herself over totally to expectations of the sensations she would soon exult in again. All thoughts vanished, replaced by rapture.

Her coat dropped to the floor. With a laugh, he scooped her up in his arms. Over the heavy sound of his boots as he carried her to the bed, she heard him whisper, “My love, I have so often imagined carrying you to a real bed and loving you until you begged me to stop.”

Thrilled by his words, she traced the line of his jaw with her fingertip. “I'm not going anywhere. Love me, Joel, until we have no strength, and collapse in each other's arms.”

“My wish, exactly,” he murmured as he leaned her back against the pillows. He smiled when she reached up to grip the front of his shirt and urge him to join her. Memories of the last time he had held her brightened his eyes. He resolved to make this day one neither of them would ever forget.

Hours later, in the golden afterglow of their love, Joel tucked the comforter tighter around them. “Better?”

“Much.” She shivered delicately. Wrapping her arms around him, she pressed her cheek to his bare chest.

“You're never cold when we make love, Sam. Only afterwards.”

She laughed. “I do remember once when I was cold the whole time.”

He ruffled her hair as he thought of the desperate love they had shared in the frosty, snow shelter. How many times he had wished she would come to him in the snow again! Even the discomfort of that night had not kept him from wanting to love her any way he could.

“Soon we'll be home.” Looking up at the cracked ceiling, he asked, “Why did you agree to be mine again? What made you change your mind?”

She wrinkled her nose impishly. “Humility. I loved it when you begged me to take you back. It was irresistible to be wanted that much.”

He pressed her back against the pillows. The gleam of the lantern glittered on his smile as he said smugly, “I know.”

“You know?” she cried. When she tried to sit, he laughed and held her to the bed. “That was all a trick?”

Running his hand along her smooth skin, he whispered in her ear, “No, my love. I meant every word I said, but I admit I was ready to try anything and everything to make you believe me. If it took making myself look like a fool, I was willing to do it.”

She twisted her fingers in his thick hair and pulled his mouth to hers. “You can be a bastard, Joel Gilchrist!” she announced in a light tone.

“And you are a shrew.” He kissed her lightly. “I think we shall do just fine together for the rest of our lives. Now, do you want to go for dinner, or would you prefer to eat later?”

Her voice became soft with desire as she answered, “Later, Joel. Much later.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Joel's hand tightened on Samantha's arm as they entered the saloon. They had said their farewells to Mrs. Kellogg, promising to stop in for a visit before they left the Yukon. It had not been easy for Samantha to see her friend cry tears of joy because Joel had professed his devotion. Harder still was realizing that their next good-bye to this woman who had helped her in her most dire moments would be final.

With the sled packed for their journey they would be back to the claim by tomorrow afternoon. They did not look forward to the confrontation with Kevin, but they would not lie any longer. Tonight they could enjoy the entertainments Dawson offered.

Seating her at a table, Joel walked to the bar to order a whiskey. He hurried back, noticing several men converging on Sam. He felt a smile tease the corner of his mustache. This could be amusing.

Hearing three strangers speak to her at once, Samantha smiled, forgetting how Yukon men regarded women.

“Are you dancing tonight?” asked one, yelping when his companion chortled and gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs.

“No, I'm here with my fiancé.” She smiled, and her words warmed her heart. Clutching her bag in her lap, she added, “I see the next dance is beginning. You still have a little time to find someone to dance with.”

“Leave the lady alone.” At the deep words, she saw a scarlet North-West Mounted Police uniform. Her gaze traveled up a row of shining brass buttons to the strong face of Constable French's commander, Captain Starnes. She had seen him at Mrs. Kellogg's.

The men scattered like crisp leaves before an autumn wind. When she tried to thank Captain Starnes, he brushed aside her words. With a tip of his hat, he strode across the room to a table where several men seemed to be waiting for him.