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Authors: Beth Solheim

BOOK: At Witt's End
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"Hopefully no one. I think Tim's imagination got the better of him.” Tim Fossum's body lay in cold storage at the mortuary next to his parents. It wasn't unusual for crossers to deny their demise. The fact that Tim didn't cross over when his parents did made it harder for him to accept. If he fostered a notion of murder, it gave him something to concentrate on, other than his death decision.

"The poor lamb,” Jane said. “What a terrible thing for Tim to go through."

"How do you think I feel? I'm the one who broke the news to Tim. To make it worse, he's forced to make a death decision that might prevent him from ever seeing his parents again.” Sadie tipped her head upward and sighed. “It breaks my heart to see him so confused."

"That's the problem,” Jane said, waving her arms in frustration. “I can't see your crossers but you can. Even that bothersome dog can see them. It's not fair."

"You missed your calling, Jane. You look like a traffic cop trying to get the Hell's Angels to turn in at the church."

"I do not. I'm upset because you're the death coach and I have no choice but to believe what you tell me.” Jane looked out the window again, trying to spy the man in the black suit. “I'm too tired to deal with this. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept worrying about our lawsuit. Now I'll be worrying about a murder, too."

"Quit worrying. I told you our attorney will take care of it. And I'll bet it's not true about the Fossums anyway."

Sadie pushed back the despair that engulfed her every time she thought about losing the lawsuit. Putting forth a positive front was safer than thinking about the consequences.

"But what if we don't win? What if we actually lose the resort?” Jane slammed her hand down on the table. “How can you be so calm?"

Drawing on her reserve, Sadie said, “I'm trying my best not to think about it. There's nothing we can do until the hearing."

"That's what drives me crazy. I hate waiting.” Jane fidgeted with her blouse collar, attempting to pull the points into alignment. “Our employees depend on us for a living. They'll be out of a job if we lose this resort."

Sadie sat in the chair next to her sister and folded her hands around Jane's fists. “You can't think like that. You've got to have faith it will be settled in our favor. We've owned this resort since Mother died. The judge will take that into consideration."

The women turned at the sound of Belly's bark. His stubby tail jerked anxiously as he sniffed the air.

"Judge Kimmer never liked us,” Jane said. “He won't give a hoot how long the resort's been in our family. You know he's wanted to buy this property. The fact we turned him down won't help."

"The resort was never listed with a realtor. He had no right getting angry when we turned him down.” Impatience squeezed at Sadie like a vice. Witt's End was the most prime vacation property in Northern Minnesota. For over twenty years every developer in the upper Midwest had tried to buy their resort. Some of the locals, including Judge Kimmer, had also expressed an interest in the property, but Sadie held fast by declining their offers.

The resort featured three thousand feet of shoreline dotted with towering Norway pines and sheltered one of the most popular fishing bays on Pinecone Lake. A reservation list spanning two years, a lodge, a restaurant, a marina, a sand beach, and a gift shop guaranteed many return visits by satisfied vacationers.

"You were the one who suggested we get this over with as soon as possible. Because you were in such a hurry, they selected an earlier court date,” Sadie said. “Now we're stuck with it. If we'd have waited, Judge Kimmer wouldn't have been assigned to our case."

Jane pushed back from the table. “I couldn't wait because I'm dying by inches every day. I can't think about anything but this lawsuit.” As Jane paced, she fidgeted with a pleat in her tan slacks. “I know you're right. I know I have to put this out of my mind. You've got the crossers to keep you busy. I don't have anything to occupy my mind."

"It's not like I asked to be a death coach,” Sadie muttered.

"Then why did you take the job?"

"Job?
Job
? Being a death coach isn't a job. It just happened."

"Well it sure seems like a job,” Jane said. “You're busy every day dealing with them. And now you think there might be another one out there. You need to find someone else to do it."

Through lips tight with exasperation Sadie said, “You know I was chosen to guide them. How else will they know how to cross over to the other side?"

"The fact they couldn't cross over shouldn't be your problem. Let them find their own way."

"I'd like to, but that's not possible. I've explained this a million times."

"I know you have. But it would sure make it easier if I could see them. It's embarrassing when I sit on them all the time."

"That's not going to change. I'm not going to be given an assistant, either. When the day comes someone else is designated to take over, I'll probably be long gone."

"How are you going to deal with the crossers if we lose the resort?"

"I don't know. I just don't know,” Sadie said. “Why can't you be more like me and quit worrying."

"I don't want to be like you. I don't want people thinking I'm crazy because I talk to imaginary friends."

Glaring at her sister over the rim of her orange frames, Sadie said, “I think somebody messed up at the hospital when we were born."

"Oh not this again,” Jane said. “I'm tall. You're short. Big deal. That doesn't mean we're not twins."

"At least I don't have your fat ass."

"At least I'm not a boobless half-pint. And don't tell me you're not jealous. I know better,” Jane said.

Sadie stood and hurried to the door as Belly let out a high-pitched yelp. One end of the dog wagged frantically while the other end poked through the porch railing and whined at the man behind the Norway pine. A briefcase corner protruded from the edge of the tree.

To the right of the tree, several children in bathing suits jostled for position in front of an ice cream cart. Sadie winced with compassion when a child's chocolate ice cream tumbled from its cone and landed on the ground at the girl's feet. Heat waves rippled up from the pathway. The youngsters licked as fast as they could to catch the drops of melting ice cream before they trickled down their arms. The man peered around the tree at the children.

"I still don't understand why they picked you to take care of the crossers instead of me. I'd be just as good at it as you are.” Jane nodded sharply.

Sadie stuck her little finger in her right ear and screwed it back and forth. “My hearing must be on the blink. I thought you said you'd be as good at it as I am."

"Maybe even better.” Jane's voice caught in her throat. She frowned as three scantily clad teenagers hurried toward the beach. “Good grief,” she said under her breath. Her gaze lingered on their thonged bottoms. “That's disgusting."

Filling a mug with coffee, Sadie placed it on one of Jane's lace doilies and motioned to her sister to return to her chair. “Drink this. Quit dwelling on our problems. Maybe you could call Mr. Bakke to see if he wants to go for a pontoon ride."

Sadie inched her fingers through her black hair. Black, verging on blue, happened to be the color-of-the-week at Big Leon's beauty shop. She picked at the gelled spikes she had created earlier in the day to make sure they were still standing erect. Glancing at her reflection in the window, she turned from side to side, eyeing the new leopard-print shirt the postman had left in her mail box. She made a mental note to order another push-up bra. Maybe one with a little more lift. She wanted to wow them at the Fertile Turtle. That's if she ever found the time to go dancing again.

Jane's hand suddenly splayed across her chest. “Have you told Nan about the lawsuit? If we lose, she could be evicted from the mortuary."

Sadie loved Nan Harren like a daughter. She cared for Aanders like the grandson she wished she had. The feelings were shared. Harren Funeral Home sat at the edge of the resort property next to Cabin 14. Nan and her eleven-year-old son occupied an apartment in the mortuary, originally designed to house mortuary science students. The land lease the Witt sisters held on the mortuary would be worthless if they lost the lawsuit.

Sadie's eyes sparked with anger. “Every time I think about Carl's lies in that lawsuit my head feels like it's going to explode. Carl Swanson is a demented rat. Apparently the money he inherited from his grandfather isn't enough."

Sadie pointed toward the bookshelf. “Did you see this morning's newspaper? That big liar's decided to run for sheriff. If you think Carl's a jerk now, wait till he's elected."

"I saw that. I can't believe he'd do something that stupid. Who would vote for him? Everyone knows he's a donkey's patootie."

Jane drained her coffee cup. “Well? Have you told Nan, or not?"

"Nan's got enough to worry about. She's got three bodies to prep and one of them is Tim. Nan loved Tim. He spent a lot of time with Aanders.” Sadie tapped her ear lobe, setting the dangling beads in motion. “How do I tell a dear friend she might lose everything? I can't do it. What if I tell her and then the judge rules in our favor? The last thing she needs is more stress,” Sadie said.

Justifying the reason she'd postponed the inevitable nagged her to distraction. Even though she knew her sister disagreed, Sadie was willing to wait for the pendulum to swing in favor of providence rather than misfortune.

"Nan's had to live with rejection all her life. Can you imagine what losing the mortuary would do to her?” Sadie turned her ear toward the door as she heard footsteps plink across the wooden porch.

Dread filled Sadie. She glanced through the screen door just in time to see the man in the black suit disappear into the woods.

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3
-

Worry and dread caused the hairs on Aanders’ neck to tingle as he stared at the basement door. A mix of curiosity and anticipation had him on the verge of ripping the door off the hinges and bounding down the stairs, but he knew he couldn't. He had made a promise to his mother and was trying desperately to keep it.

Think of something else, he thought clenching his fists. Anything else. Aanders’ foot tapped rapidly against the stool's leg as he leaned on the kitchen counter. Maybe if he let the hateful words the new kid had shouted at him seep back into his mind, it would shove aside his present predicament. Aanders had looked forward to meeting the new guest at the resort, but when he finally did, all the kid did was tease him about living in a mortuary.

Aanders had learned to benefit from his unique surroundings. Not every kid lived in a mortuary. Not every kid was as brave as they pretended. Not every kid dared touch a dead body. For those brave enough to touch the lifeless flesh, Aanders charged a dollar. After all, hadn't his mother encouraged him to be enterprising?

A burst of sizzling grease signaled supper would soon be ready. Eleven-year-old Aanders watched his mother flip three pieces of chicken in the frying pan. He twiddled the salt shaker between his fingers until it tipped over. Sneaking a look at his mother he covered the salt with his hand, edged it off the counter and watched it sprinkle onto the floor. His blond bangs caught on his eyelashes, twitching when he blinked.

"I thought you'd feel better if I cooked your favorite meal,” Nan said, reaching to brush the hair from her son's face.

Aanders appreciated that his mother wanted to lessen his sorrow, but food didn't appeal to him. If he admitted he wasn't hungry, he'd hurt her feelings. She'd worry. She already had enough on her mind without upsetting her more.

His stomach rolled a queasy warning as his gaze fell on the basement door. A whining dog wasn't making the situation any easier. Belly had parked his bulk in front of the basement door and insisted on being given access to the lower level.

"I don't know why you let that dog in here again,” Nan said. “You know I've asked you not to do that."

"I didn't. He must have slipped in under the hearse door. I've seen him do it before."

Even though Belly's physique resembled a cement truck, he had a weasel's knack at sneaking into the mortuary apartment. The dog must have slipped in when he helped his mother transfer the heavy body bags from the hearse. Belly no longer startled Aanders when he appeared out of nowhere. At least not like his father startled him when he showed up uninvited. Belly's visits were welcomed. Not his father's.

Nan coaxed Belly away from the door with her foot. “After you finish eating, take him back to Sadie's cabin. He's going to ruin the paint on that door.” Sidestepping the dog she added, “This is the second time I've found him clawing on the basement door. I don't know what's gotten into him. Usually he just sleeps in front of the fridge."

Belly's mission in life was to consume food. Lots of food. When not occupied with his vocation, Belly sought the luxury of a good snooze. Aanders often woke with Belly occupying more than half his bed and hogging the pillow. The defining property line between the resort and mortuary meant nothing to Belly.

Belly's heritage was a mystery. He had long legs, a stubby nose, a rotund body covered in brown spots, and a cropped-off tail with four elongated hairs growing out of a bald portion of its tip. When Belly wagged his tail, the black hairs flapped in the breeze adding to the dog's odd appearance. Aanders trimmed the black hairs, but they grew back with gusto. The dog also had only one testicle.

Aanders joined his mother as she stared out the kitchen window. They watched a young woman scoop a toddler into her arms after he wandered too close to the water's edge. The child giggled with glee. The lilt of children's voices echoed back and forth across the short span between the resort and the mortuary before it faded away. It was a sound that usually brought smiles to their faces, but not tonight.

Nan put her arm around Aanders’ shoulder and pulled him closer. “We'll make it through this,” she whispered, placing her lips against his temple.

Aanders blinked hard to divert the tears welling in his eyes.

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