At Wolf Ranch (16 page)

Chapter 19

G
abe waited in the kitchen for Ella to get ready to go out. She didn’t look good. Dark circles marred the undersides of her eyes. She’d barely slept the last few days and when she did, she had nightmares that made her scream out in the night. He wanted to go to her, wrap her in his arms, and make it all go away. As if he could make her forget, but he’d work damn hard to distract her. Oh, the many ways he’d distract her. He’d start with another kiss, his lips pressed to hers, his tongue sliding in to taste and tease. They’d end naked and happily exhausted, because if he had to walk around much longer in this hyper-aroused state he’d explode.

The kiss they shared played in a loop in his mind. He could still taste her. He thanked God and the universe this morning for clear skies. If he had to spend one more day in this house alone with her and nowhere to go, he’d grab her and take her to bed because the wanting was killing him.

She needed time and he needed to decide if he could let her go if he did sleep with her, because there was no way in hell she’d stay with him when she had so much waiting for her in New York. Her friends. A company to run. A life he couldn’t give her here. He came up with one reason after another for why he shouldn’t sleep with her. She was too young. Too rich. Nothing like any of the other women he dated.

That one actually appealed to him more than anything else. He liked her. Admired her courage and determination. The woman refused to quit.

She amazed him with her insights, computer skills, knowledge about finance and how her business ran. Her uncle underestimated her. If he’d let the twins take over the company as planned, he’d have reaped the benefits of their combined talents. Now it was left to Ella to right the wrongs her uncle instigated and take the company into the future on her own. A monumental task, but he didn’t doubt for a second she was up for the challenge. He only hoped she remembered to take care of herself. Right now, grief held her captive. Until she had time to process the loss of her sister and the loss of the dream they’d shared for their future, she’d stay in this depressed state that took over her and stole all the light he saw inside her when she forgot everything else and was just with him. Those moments were rare, but something to hold on to. He’d tuck them away, pull them out someday soon when he missed her, and remember he once lived with a remarkable woman.

“Gabe. I’m ready.”

He wasn’t. Not for the punch to the gut that hit him when he turned around and saw her wearing one of the sweaters he bought her. He’d never bought a woman clothes. It made him feel strange to see her in something he picked out especially for her. He’d never tell her he stood in front of the displays agonizing over which ones to get her because he wanted her to like them, despite his limited choices and lack of experience. She looked good. She had worn the dark pink the other day. It made the gold highlights in her light brown hair stand out. Today she wore the dark purple. He loved the way it made the green in her eyes glow.

Nervous because he hadn’t said anything, just stared, she ran her hand over her stomach and asked, “Does it look okay?”

“You’re beautiful. The fit’s perfect.”

Yep, the sweater hugged her curves and made his mouth water. He wanted to get his hands on her, slide them up and under the sweater, and feel her smooth, warm skin against his palms. He wanted to mold her full breasts in his hands and feel the weight of them when he kissed her long and deep. He wanted her with a passion he’d never felt.

“I really love it.” Her words came out soft and shy. Her head dipped to the side, her gaze on a spot by his feet. Probably because he couldn’t hide how much he wanted to kiss her again. “It’s very soft.”

Like everything about her. Her hair. Her skin. Her sweet flowers-in-spring scent. Her eyes when she stared at him without thinking about it. Her lips when he kissed her.

“We should go.” Maybe he said that too abruptly.

“Gabe, are you mad at me?” She shifted her weight.

“Nope. Just need to get out of this house.” He needed to put some distance between them, but couldn’t manage to put actions to thought because it went against everything else he felt inside. Ignoring the warnings in his head, he took her hand and led her to the front door. He helped her with her coat and checked out her feet. “The boots fit okay?” She’d only worn the brace and her socks in the house. He found it cute. He never thought anything cute, except maybe puppies, kittens, and foals.

I’m losing it.

“They feel great. Heavy. I’m sure they’ll keep my feet dry and warm.”

“Let me know if they don’t and we need to come back. Can you walk on that ankle, or does it still hurt?”

“It’s much better. A few days off it did wonders.”

“That and the ice I kept making you put on it.”

“No more ice. I’m tired of being cold all the time.”

Happy to warm you up.
He left that thought unsaid. “You’re walking better, that’s what matters.” He took her hand again and opened the door and ushered her out with him. He slowed his pace to match hers. She favored her right foot, but it barely slowed her down. “How’s your hip?”

“Sore, but better. The bruises are fading.”

The image and the memory of all that creamy skin stretched out below him from his dream last night filled his mind. The thought of making love to her, kissing every inch of skin from her rosy lips to her little toes, nearly made him groan.

“Good. I’m glad you feel better.”

“Hard not to when you take such good care of me, cooking every meal, cleaning up, and making me take a break a split second before I throw my computer out the window.”

“I’m worried about your blood pressure,” he teased.

“Yeah, well, you should be more worried I’ll take one of the guns from your house and shoot my uncle.”

“I’ll load it for you.”

They might both be joking, but her uncle deserved it and more.

Gabe opened the stable door and let Ella go in ahead of him. He stopped short before he slammed into her back. “What’s the matter?” he asked, wondering why she didn’t go in.

“Oh, Gabe, look at them.”

Gabe followed her gaze and smiled. At least twelve of his horses stuck their heads out of the stalls and some whinnied to greet him. He stared down at her and caught his breath. Her whole face lit up with joy, seeing all the horses. He put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “That’s the first real smile I’ve seen from you.” Her happiness made him feel lighter, so he kissed her on the side of the head and nudged her forward. “Go see them. They’re bored in here. I’ve got to let them out into the pastures later, but I thought you’d like to see them first.”

Ella didn’t need coaxing. She took off down the aisle and greeted the first horse she came to with an affectionate pat on the head and a vigorous scratch behind the ear. He’d prepared for her to come, so he grabbed the bag of sliced apples from the table next to the sink and met her five doors down the aisle.

“She’s beautiful.” Ella referred to the palomino mare.

“Her name is Winnie. I got her two years ago as a foal. She’s my girl.” Winnie stretched and nuzzled his neck, then tried to steal the whole bag of apples. “She loves her treats.” He handed a couple of slices to Ella to feed Winnie.

“I miss my horses.”

“How many do you have?”

“Two beautiful Arabians. A black and a white. Bentley and Mercedes.”

“Even your horses have expensive names.”

“That was a joke.” She laughed and smacked him on the arm. “You are so easy. Try Angel and Belle.”

He had to admit, she got him. She held Winnie’s head in both hands and laid her forehead to the horse’s.

“They are my babies. I miss them. I don’t spend nearly enough time with them at the estate outside the city these days.”

“You should make time. They obviously make you happy.”

“When things got tough, or I needed time away from the city to think, I’d go to the estate and ride for hours. I always felt closer to my parents there. I’d spend time brushing down the horses and pampering them. They help me relax and think clearly again.”

Gabe handed her a brush from the table, unlatched the door to Winnie’s stall, and held his hand out to indicate she indulge her need to be with the horse.

“Winnie loves to be spoiled. You hang out with her. I’ll let the others out into the pasture. Careful on your ankle.”

She readily went into the stall and started working the brush over Winnie’s golden coat. He walked to the stall next door, but stopped from going inside to get Sully when Ella walked out of Winnie’s stall and stopped him.

“Gabe.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for understanding.”

Yeah, he understood how much she needed a distraction, one she loved and helped her settle her mind.

He went to her, cupped her face, and tilted it up. His lips touched her forehead in a soft kiss. He’d like to kiss her in a different way, but she needed the comfort and he needed to give it to her. Anything to make her feel better, because seeing the sadness come back into her eyes tore at him in a way that connected him to her even more.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He stared down into her beautiful face and bright green eyes. “It’ll take me about half an hour to get these guys out to the pastures. Winnie is all yours.”

She reached up, wrapped her hands around his neck, and pressed her body down the length of his. He reined in the urge to crush her to him and take her mouth in a deep kiss. The hug ended far sooner than he’d like. No amount of time with her would ever be long enough.

That thought hung with him for the next half hour as he let the horses out into the fields. He left three of the horses that weren’t feeling well in the stables, along with Winnie. He’d kept his eye on Ella. She’d kept her eye on him, glancing his way whenever he came back. He caught the glimpses of interest in her when her eyes roamed over him, heating his body.

The play of emotions on her face shifted and changed the longer she spent with the horse. Sadness overshadowed her earlier joy at seeing the horses. At one point, she broke down and cried again. He kept to his chores and let her work out her thoughts and memories and grief in her own way and time.

The tears had dried and she set the brush on the table and went back to Winnie and gave the big horse a hug. He smiled, knowing exactly how she felt. Sometimes, you just needed someone to hang out with, who didn’t say anything while you worked out your shit.

Ella stood back, gave Winnie a scratch behind the ear and down her neck, and let out a heavy sigh. His cue to step in and change her focus again, or she’d just go back to poring over files and not take the time she needed for herself. Sometimes stepping away from things helped put them into perspective.

Gabe came up behind Ella and clamped his hands on her shoulders, working his fingers into the tired and sore muscles.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

She surprised him and turned, going up on her toes to kiss him softly. A touch of her lips to his. Far too short and lacking the passion they both felt in the jolt to both their bodies. The intensity in her eyes matched the need gnawing at his gut to pull her close and devour, but he left his hands where they were on her hips, loosely holding her close, but still too far away. He’d paid attention to this woman over the last few days, and the tilt of her head and the set of her mouth told him she had something to say, something important weighing on her mind.

“I mean it. Thank you for making me come out here. I needed this.”

“I know you want to find the truth, but you’ve got to take care of yourself. You’ll figure this out.”

“It’s taking too long. I feel like I’m missing something important. Like she told me something and I didn’t hear it.”

“Let’s take a walk. Clear your head. Take a look at everything again with fresh eyes.” He set her away and took a step back. He needed the space, or he’d do something stupid. Like pick her up and carry her over to the pile of hay bales and set her pretty bottom on them and strip her bare and make love to her right here in the stables. That would knock some of the city girl right off her. Of course, she seemed just as comfortable here as she did there.

“What’s that look?” Ella tilted her head and studied his face.

“What look?”

“That one. Where you shake your head and look at me like I’m a strange bug.”

“You are strange.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You are everything you are, but then you’re not.”

“Well, that explains it.”

She didn’t get it. He didn’t really get it, but it appealed to him in a weird way that made him think about her more and more. Everything about her didn’t add up to what people knew about her, but in a strange way, it did.

“You’re a city girl.”

“I live in New York City, but I’ve been to many places over the years, including Montana,” she pointed out.

“Yes. That’s it.”

“What’s it?”

“You fit in just about anywhere.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“You fit here. You’re just as comfortable living in the city, going out to clubs, and shopping in Manhattan as you are brushing down the horses and staying with me in my little house. You are everything the public sees about you, but then you’re so much more they don’t even begin to guess.”

“You aren’t only a cowboy. Sure you’ve got the horses and the cattle. The spread you’ve set up here, but you’re much more than that. You’re a college graduate with spreadsheets that put some of my project managers to shame. Statistics, financials, genealogies for the animals, projections, and forecasts. While that is what you do, you are grounded in family and tradition. You didn’t want my ranch to show off that you live in that big house. You wanted it for the land, the stable space you so obviously need for all the horses you adore like a father does his children. You wanted it to build something lasting. Something you can pass on the way your father will pass on his ranch to you boys. Your brothers are everything to you. You’d drop everything this second and go to them if they needed you.”