Attainment (The Temptation Series) (12 page)

Now nine months down the track, and I can clearly see—as I
look back on those weeks leading up to the explosion—that his behaviour and
conduct was not only irrational but evidently disturbed. Things like the angry
phone call I received after Xmas, when he accused Alexis of deliberately omitting
him from our family lunch. Not to mention the numerous phone calls and emails
I’d gotten while Alexis and I were in Italy—emails, checking on Clark
Incorporated issues that did not concern him. All these things I’d just swept
under the rug, because for once in my life—ever since the car accident occurred—I
didn’t want to have to deal with Gareth, didn’t want to be responsible for babysitting
him. Except, the moment I did drop my guard and responsibility, the worst
possible thing happened...I failed him.

***

Sitting on the edge of our bed, I watch Alexis’ peacefully
enjoying her slumber. She has no choice but to sleep on her back, because
apparently, if she sleeps on her stomach she’ll wake up in a puddle of breast
milk. As I stare at her glorious breasts which are hidden behind her maternity
bra—a crime in itself—I yearn to caress the soft flesh with my tongue.

The imposed nipple prohibition is slowly killing me, eating
at my sanity and diminishing my tenacity.  Having no choice but to fight my
nipple-need, I think of a distraction.

A smile creeps onto my face as I get an idea of something I
know she loves but something I haven’t done in a while. I race downstairs and grab
a yellow rose from the vase in the foyer then race back upstairs and kneel on
the ground next to the bed. I am excited just like a kid on Christmas Day, all
because I love waking her up with a rose.

Very lightly, I wipe the bud of the flower across her
forehead, this prompting her brow to crease ever so slightly. Her taunted face
is so adorable, and I have to bite my lip to supress a laugh.

Returning the rose to the bridge of her nose, I trail it down
very softly. Her hand swings up out of nowhere and swipes at what her subconscious
is telling her is there. I quickly retract the rose before she touches it and
with a mischievous inward chuckle, wait patiently for her to settle back down
again. She does, and as I take in her peaceful appearance, I melt with love.
Her eyelashes are long and black, and fan beautifully atop her cheek bones. She
has some very faint freckles, and the last time I counted, there were about 19
of them across her nose and cheeks. Her lips are downright irresistible, plump
and semi-pursed. And her blonde hair neatly frames the most beautiful face in
the world.

Swallowing the lump in my throat and smiling because I know
how fortunate I am, I place the rose on her lips and sit it just under her
nose, knowing that when she breathes in her next breath, the scent she loves so
much will filter into her senses and begin to wake her from her sleep.

I watch with fascination as she does just that and breathes
in a deep breath, her chest rising as her hands find her hair while she
stretches. Her eyelids flutter open and within seconds she begins to decipher
what is before her. When she does interpret what her eyes are exposing, her
heartbreaking smile starts to spread across her face. And, as always when she
graces me with that expression, I am conquered... done for.

“Mornin’,” she mumbles, and sits up on her elbows while
taking the rose from my hand.

“Mornin’,” I reply, leaning down to kiss those perfect lips.

She drops back onto the pillow and wraps her arms around my
neck, securing me tightly to her. “You’re dressed. Why are you dressed? You
should be butt naked and underneath me.”

Wanting to be butt-naked and underneath her, I contemplate
that actual scenario before reminding myself why I am dressed and ready to
leave. “I have an appointment.” I’ll be gone for an hour.”

“Okay,” she pouts.

“Don’t do that.”

Her pout increases. “What?”

“You know what,” I lean forward and suck on her pouty lip.
“I gotta go,” I say sadly.

She unwraps her arms and places both hands on either side of
my face. “Is everything alright?”

Feeling her enquiring stare pierce deep into the depths of
my eyes, I lie. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just want to get this done so that I can get
back here to my favourite people in the world.”

She nods and kisses me lightly then lets me go, and just as
I stand, movement from Brayden’s bassinet catches my attention. I creep over
slowly—probably looking somewhat like a fucking cat burglar—and find my little
treasure trying desperately to free his hand from his tightly confined wrap.
Smiling, I notice the little Houdini has already managed to release one of his
hands and is sucking on it ferociously.

“Good morning, little buddy. I’m sorry to tell to you, but it
doesn’t matter how hard you suck on that hand, you’re not going to get what you
want out of it.”

He lets out a frustrated cry.

“I know. Life’s not fair. I want Mummy’s boobies in my mouth
all the time, too.”

A sharp sting to the arm registers as I incur Alexis’ swift
slap. “Bryce!”

I lift Brayden up, giving him a quick cuddle and kiss before
handing him to his mum. “Right,” I say with annoyance, wanting to stay with
them. “I’ll be back soon.

Making my way out of the room, I prepare myself for my visit
to Gareth’s grave.

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN

To feel contrite one would say is a humane and moral virtue,
but in order to experience this form of repentance you must first acknowledge
your sin then show remorse for your wrongdoing. Jessica has made it quite clear
that she does not agree with my feelings of contrition where Gareth’s death is
concerned, saying I have no sin to feel remorseful over in the first place—but
she is wrong. 

For the past nine months, Jessica and I have had session
upon session where she has tried desperately to conquer my inner battle of
guilt with her own personal army of professional advocacy. The thing is not all
battles are fought and then won.

A perfect battle would result with a resolution always being
achieved, whether by annihilating the opposition, or by forcing them to abandon
their mission and surrender their forces. And that’s exactly what Jessica’s
warfare strategy—where my battle is concerned—has been of late, implementing
tactics to break my resolve and renounce my fight with myself. And I have to
admit, that it’s starting to work.

Not having wanted to, I humoured her and put myself in
Lucy’s shoes, looking at the entire situation from another perspective. Did it
make me feel less guilty? No. Did I still feel contrite? Yes, I did, because at
the end of the day, I could’ve prevented Gareth’s death.  However, the reason
for me deciding to wave the white flag after so long, was more a result of what
Jessica had said during our last session about not letting the guilt ‘eat me
alive’. It helped me realise that for Brayden and Alexis’ sake, I needed to ask
for my own forgiveness. Jessica had said that if I couldn’t find it within
myself to see that I was not at fault in the first place, then I had to
apologise and make amends for what blame I felt I had. And the first step in
doing that was to visit Gareth’s grave and say sorry.

Hearing my phone ring through the Bluetooth of my
Lamborghini, I take note of Lucy’s name on the LCD panel on my dashboard.

“How’s my favourite sister?” I answer, going for the
buttering-up type of approach.

“You’re
only
sister is fine. It’s her brother
who she is worried about, today of all days.”

Shit! Why was she born with an IQ to rival Einstein?

“Don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout, baby sis. I’m fine.”

“Don’t pull that shit with me. We made a promise to each
other a long time ago, remember? Telling each other everything goes both ways,
not just when it suits you.”

Inwardly groaning to myself, I click my neck to both sides
then fess up. “I’m on my way to the cemetery, Luce. I need to get a few things
off my chest...” I pause for the slightest second then continue. “...It was
Jessica’s idea, and for once I’m listening to it,” I finish, with not much
enthusiasm in my voice.

“Do you want me to meet you there?”

“No, really I’m fine. I just need to get this done so that I
can move on and live my life. A life I have waited so long to live unburdened.”

Lucy sighs. “Okay, but if you need me, you know I’m here.”

“I know,” I sigh back.

I’m about to say my goodbyes when her choked voice sounds
quietly through my speakers. “I love you. I respect you. I look up to you and
only want the best for you.”

Feeling that horrid thump in my chest when I know I have to
rein my shit in before I cry like a kid, I take a deep breath and focus on the
traffic ahead. “I love you too, Luce. Always.”

***

The light spring breeze whispers across my face as I walk
the gravel path I have walked many times before. It’s a sombre walk full of
sadness, and no matter how many times or how long I have done it, it still
leaves me feeling partly empty.

With a bunch of Lillies in my hand, I stop by Mum, Dad and
Lauchie’s graves first. This is the first time I have been here since becoming
a father and for some reason unbeknown to me, I bear extra emotion.

I lay the Lillies down for my mother and whisper to her
headstone, never really understanding why I do it. Deep down, I know I’m
talking to a slab of granite.

“Mum, guess what? I have a son and he’s...he’s perfect. His
name is Brayden...Brayden Lauchie Clark.”

 I look over to my little brother’s resting place, “Did you
hear that Lauch? Yeah, he shares your name.”

Taking a small photograph of Brayden out of my pocket, I
place it at the base of Mum’s headstone. “You can have this for now. But I
promise, I’ll bring him by soon.”

I don’t want to linger too long, because I hate coming here
on my own. So I stand back up and take a step closer to Dad’s place of rest.
Touching the top of his headstone, I say four words that now hold so much
meaning. “I get it now.”

As I’m about to move on to Gareth’s grave, I hear footsteps
on the gravel path behind me. They could belong to only one of two people, and
as I feel her hand slide into mine, I have no doubt who she is—warmth and a
sense of fulfillment now flowing freely though me.

“You should’ve told me,” Alexis whispers into my ear as she
rests her head on my shoulder.

I squeeze her hand, knowing that I should’ve confided in her.

“It’s okay, though,” she continues. “I understand you need
to do certain things on your own. But I want you to know, you are never alone.
I’ll wait for you over there until you’re finished, okay?”

I nod and she releases my hand before kissing me softly. She
then bends down and places a new book on Lauchie’s grave. I notice its title:
Tomorrow,
When the War Began
and smile—unbeknown to her, it was one of his
favourites.

While Alexis stands patiently by an Elm tree, I say the few
words to Gareth I’d planned on saying. “I let you down, Mate, and for that, I’m
sorry. I’m sorry that you were the one in the car with Mum, Dad and Lauchie all
those years ago. I’m sorry that you were the one to hold Lauchie in your arms
while his life slipped away from him. I’m sorry that you never got to live the
life you deserved. And I’m sorry you died because of me.”

Sucking in a deep breath, I will the tears not to fall. I
refuse to let them fall, I don’t deserve to cry. “Gareth, I’m sorry, but I’m a
father now, and my son deserves a dad who knows how to accept responsibility
for his own actions yet also forgive himself and move on with his life. I hope
you can forgive me too.”

I wait for a minute and turn around to find Alexis push off
from the tree and start walking toward me. She’s wearing a long flowing pale
pink dress with a cream scarf tied around her neck. Her hair is twisted back
and held together with a clip. As she closes the gap between us, a gust of wind
sweeps her dress and scarf to the side, taking what breath I have along with
it. She is just beyond beautiful.

“Are you ready?” she asks, holding both my hands in front of
us.

I think about the simple question she just asked but interpret
it in a different way.
Yes, I am ready.
I’m ready to live the rest of my
life with the woman that I love.

͠
  
PART TWO
͠

Thief of my heart

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

Since becoming a father I have felt many wonderful things:
awe, pride, satisfaction; the ability to take on the entire world and those who
are in it. Unfortunately, the wonderful joys of fatherhood seem to go hand in
hand with the not so wonderful joys, such as: confusion, panic, and complete
exhaustion—all at the hands of one tiny little human being.

Today, my baby boy turns one. Yes, one; as in 365 days old,
those days being the best in my life. It feels as if it were only yesterday
that I heard his cry, touched his face, looked into his eyes and held him, all
for the first time. I just can’t believe how quickly this past year has flown
by.

Since that miraculous day, I have experienced so much more
of what life has to offer. I’ve experienced hearing the words ‘dad dad’ spoken
in such rapid succession that no matter how many times Brayden said it, it
still took me several seconds to register that he was, in fact, referring to me
as his dad for the first time. I’ve experienced severe sleep deprivation, sex
deprivation, and that scarcity of pure silence. I also now know what it feels
like to freak the fuck out, and I mean
really
freak out.

When Brayden was ten months old, he somehow managed to get a
pea stuck up his nose while he was eating his dinner. And do you think for the
life of me that I was able to get it out...not a chance in hell.

I remember trying to dislodge it with my fingernail, which was
inevitably a failure due to his nostril being too bloody small and my finger
resembling one that belonged to a giant. So there I was, completely stressed
out, panicked, and with my phone in my hand ready to dial 000 when in walked
Alexis; calm and composed.

‘What’s wrong?’ she’d asked, obviously sensing from the
petrified look on my face that something was clearly out of the ordinary. 

Not wanting to waste any more precious time, I’d
explained...‘Bray has a pea stuck up his nose. I’m calling an ambulance.’

She’d then rolled her eyes, took one look at Brayden and, I
shit you not, smiled at him. I had started to voice my concern that perhaps it
was not the time for smiling, when she gently pinched his other nostril and
blew in his mouth, sending the pea flying out onto the bench top. Alexis then
scooped it up, placed it in my hand and picked up Brayden, walking off with him
jiggling on her hip and saying ‘silly dadda’. Let’s just say I stood there for
God knows how long, looking incredulously at the pea that was now in my hand.

Another freak-out moment was only the other day when I was
cooking dinner. Brayden was playing by my feet banging on the pots and pans I
had given him together with a wooden spoon. One minute he was there and the
next he wasn’t. I swear the kid has a hidden turbo button which allows him to
crawl at high speeds when you turn your head for the smallest of seconds. Needless
to say, I found him moments later in the walk-in pantry playing with the
potatoes.

Despite the fact Brayden knows how to stop my heart from beating
several times a day, and that I’m sure he is the reason for a few new grey
hairs on my head, I wouldn’t trade becoming a father for anything. A life I
once thought was condemned by the wrong decision is now a life I will do
anything to protect.

***

With Brayden sitting comfortably on my hipbone, I stand in
the middle of his bedroom, pointing out different stars and planets from the
painted mural on his ceiling and walls. “What’s that?” I ask with over
enthusiasm, which just happens to be the universal speak-to-your-child tone of
voice.

He smiles and replies with “Star” while simultaneously
clapping his hands because he knows he’s already correct.

“Good boy,” I praise him, holding out my fist for him to
bump. He playfully obliges but misses my hand entirely, inevitably punching me
in the chest. “And what’s that?” I ask again, pointing to the moon.

“Star,” he repeats, again clapping himself cheerily.
Everything that is painted on the walls around us, to Brayden, is a star.

Not wanting my son to start his astronomy education with the
wrong information, I correct him as per usual. “No, Bray. That’s the moooooon,”
I say, practically mooing like a friggin’ cow.

He giggles at my stupidness and watches my lips intently as
I sound the word. His concentration level amazes me, together with just how
much information he absorbs at such a young age. Brayden—just like his older
siblings—is shaping up to be another little human sponge.

“Bryce, where’s Brayden? He better be with you,” Alexis
calls out from downstairs. “And, he better be dressed. Everyone will be here
soon.”

Turning toward the door and to the direction in which
Alexis’ bellowing came from, I get a playful idea. “Can you hear Mummy? Should
we hide from her? Yeah. Come on, little man, let’s play Hide-and-seek.”

I look around the room for a hiding place to initiate some
secret daddy’s business. Then, walking quickly toward the curtains, I position
us behind them, not doing a very good job of completely disguising our
whereabouts.

“Bryce!” Alexis calls out again, this time sounding more
agitated.

“Mummy is getting grumpy,” I tell Brayden.

“Mum, mum, mum,” he chants in response while poking me in the
cheek. Brayden— just like his mother—loves my stubble. Charli...not so much.

Chuckling like a childish idiot, I kiss him on the head. “Shhh,
you’ll give us away.”

“Bryce, where are yo—“ Alexis says with exasperation,
stepping into the room and cutting her words short. I’m guessing her reason
being due to spotting our not so inconspicuous hiding spot.

Brayden, hearing his mother’s voice, blurts out her name. “Mum.”

I shake my head, silently laughing to myself.
What the
fuck are you doing behind this curtain, you fool?

Using her mummy-baby voice, Alexis responds. “What was that?
Did I just hear BB?”

Bloody BB, I hate that name.

“BB,” Brayden repeats, forcing a giggle from Alexis.

“I did hear BB! Where is he? Is he under his cot? Nooo. Is
he in his toy box? Nooo.”

Hearing her voice get closer and closer with each word that
she says, I along with Brayden now find myself getting excited with
anticipation as to her discovering us.
Seriously, how old am I?

“Where could he be? I know,” she taunts, the curtain now the
only thing separating us from her. “Is he behind the curtain?” Alexis asks, as
she gently pokes Brayden in the leg.

He squeals with excitement before she wrenches the curtain
aside, revealing our secret daddy’s business.

“There you are!” she exclaims.

The look on her and Brayden’s face is priceless, their eyes
glimmering at each other with elation, their beaming smiles stabbing my heart
with a knife forged from love.

“Were you hiding from Mummy? Come here, cheeky boy.” She
puts her arms out, and instantly, Brayden lunges toward them. “Your Daddy is
naughty,” she says while giving me a sexy grin.

Naughty, is one description that fits my current state,
another is turned-on and hard as a fucking rock.

Alexis turns away, and I watch with greedy eyes as she sets
Brayden down on the floor with his toy cars. The tight fitting navy dress she
has chosen to wear today hugs her body in all the right places, sculpting her
arse with perfect precision as she bends over.

Swallowing dryly while blood flows from the head on my
shoulders to the head on my dick, I adjust my now swelling cock from within my
pants and map out in my head how I am going to relieve the aching throb
underneath my hand.

Visuals of the many ways I can bury myself in between her
legs start to filter into my head.

“Okay, Sweetheart, you play vroom-vroom while Mummy gets
your clothes out,” Alexis says before making her way into Brayden’s closet.

Not wanting to waste this perfect opportunity to corner and seduce
her, I immediately close and lock Brayden’s bedroom door, then follow her into
the walk-in wardrobe. As I step into the door way, I find her stretching on her
tippy toes, trying desperately to reach a box on a higher shelf. My initial
instinct is to rake the length of her sexy body with my eyes, finding it almost
impossible to look past her legs. When Alexis wears stockings, I know that at
the tops of her thighs are thick bands of lace that I want nothing more than to
remove with my teeth.

Fully aware of my now extensive erection, I step right up to
her side, purposely pushing it into her hip as I slowly reach the box for her.
The moment she registers my wanting hard-on, her eyes widen, and the corners of
her mouth lift into a seductive smile.

Alexis’ smile is hypnotic...magnetic even, drawing me into a
trance-like state. And not being able to look away from her captivating and now
heavy lidded gaze, I reach blindly beside us and place the box down on the
tallboy.

“We don’t have time,” she whispers unconvincingly as I get
right up into her personal space, slowly stepping her backward until she is
pressed up against the wall.

 “We always have time,” I verify, closing the gap between
our lips.

The warm wet taste of her tongue as she slides it against
mine sets my body alight, waking up every nerve ending I possess.  And with my
patience to have her now at a bare minimum, I reach down and lift her right
leg, gripping her thigh and holding it to my hip. My other hand finds her jaw
and then trails down her throat until I stop it at the hollow of her neck.

“Mmmm,” I groan while pressing my cock against her, teasing
her with my
solid
promise and making her eyelids flutter.

The top of her cleavage provokes my hand’s further descent,
my fingers now enjoying their journey across the dips and mounds of her
breasts, breasts that for the past three months I have had the pleasure to have
my way with. Apparently, Alexis had no choice but to stop feeding Brayden due
to something called mass-eye-tits...mass-tits...massive tits.
Fuck! I don’t know
what it was called, but it had something to do with her tits.
Either way,
she had to stop feeding, and I’m not going to lie—thank fuck that she did. My
mouth was starting to get nipple-withdrawal.

Licking my lips to moistening them, I wrench down her dress and
bra cup, freeing her breast and watching with delight as it bounces beautifully
before settling into my hand. The feel of her soft plump flesh within my fingers,
triggers my desperation to tease her hardened nipple with my thumb before
bending down and taking it into my mouth.

Alexis’ reaction to having her breasts teased, licked, and
sucked, is one of sheer fucking enjoyment to watch. Her chest always rises with
her desperate intake of oxygen, all the while pushing her flesh further into my
hand and mouth—I love it.

Relishing her perked, hardened nipple underneath my tongue,
I tease and tantalise it, flicking the stiff peak with intensity before sucking
and stretching it with my mouth.

“Oh, God!” she moans while clenching my hair and tugging it
with ardour.

That moan, that God damn fucking moan.

Growling like the beast she brings out in me, I reach down,
pull her underwear aside, and caress her moist skin with my fingertips.
“Alexis, just so you know...” I breathe heavily into her ear. “You were made to
be touched with my fingers, licked with my tongue, and fucked with my cock.
Hunny, you were made for
ME
.”

Her head drops back with a light thump against the wall, exposing
her delectable neck. “Yes,” she murmurs, her tone sexually intoxicated.

I growl once again before undoing my trousers and releasing
my cock, positioning it at her entrance before ploughing the fuck into her. I’m
needy, eager, and desperate for her feel, wanting nothing more than to have
that privilege without another second wasted.

Now digging my fingertips into the skin of her thigh, and
bracing my hand on the wall behind her head, I begin to pound into her.

“Fuck, Bryce,” she breathes out while lifting her head back
up.

My eyes lock onto her hungry stare, a stare of raw
unconcealed passion that blankets my soul and renders me slave to her every
whim, need, and desire.

“Vroom, Bang!” Brayden playfully shouts, snapping me right
the fuck out of pussyland and placing me directly into daddyland. I freeze
solid, my cock stunned into immobility.

“Don’t you dare stop,” Alexis hisses.

“But Brayden sounds like he’s—“

“Bryce Edward Clark!
You
came in here,
you
stalked me like a friggin’ hungry lion,
you
and your dirty mouth had me
all but coming onto your hand, and now
you
want to stop? Well, screw
you
!
Either
you
start that cock of yours back up again and make me sink my
teeth into your shoulder, or get the fuck out while
I
finish myself
off.” 

What. The. Fuck?

I’m speechless, impressed, and completely turned on by her
demanding fiery attitude. “You want my cock to start up again?” I tease with an
eyebrow raised. My cock twitches, prompting her face to light up with her sexy
gorgeous smile.

“Yes,” she demands and rocks her hips back and forth,
sliding me in and out of her.

Once again, I feel that sensational build-up of pressure as
I brace myself and drag my cock out of her, only to drive it back in, again and
again until she is doing what she promised—biting my shoulder and muffling her
cries of pleasure.

***

“Whose freakin’ idea was this?” Tash exclaims as she steps
into the apartment. “I know it’s a first birthday party and all, but
seriously...you have gone absolutely overkill with the damn balloons.”

I shrug my shoulders at her, as if to say I had absolutely
no part in it when truth be told, I knew all along we were practically filling
the joint with helium inflated, latex orbs.