August Unknown (21 page)

“Healing is good for the soul,” she said. “That’s probably
what everyone has been telling you.”

“Yeah, in one way or another.” He sighed. “I know. I also know
now it was Christina who instigated what happened between them. I was never
enough for her. I should have known that from the start.”

August shook her head. “You are such a special man. I wish she
could have seen that.”

His emotions surged. He loved that she took the time to look,
but it had been so much more than his failed relationship with Christina that
had made him crawl off and cower in the corners of his life. August hadn’t yet
met his overachieving older brothers, whose shadows he’d always trailed in.

“We were living at the beach house that last summer, and I had
gone to the office in Portland for a day that had turned into three. Leah told
Christina, in no uncertain terms, that when I got back she had to tell me
everything. She was so upset she started drinking. When I got home, she blurted
everything, and told me she was leaving me. She was going to New York, so Derek
could introduce her into the business.”

“Oh, Geoffrey, I’m so sorry.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later, for one reason or
another. She couldn’t live the simple life I provided for her.”

“She didn’t know how good she had it.” August sighed. “What I
wouldn’t give to find I have a simple life even half as wonderful.”

“I wouldn’t have tried to stop her if she hadn’t been drunk. I
would have let her go.”

August laid her head down on the pillow and shifted her body closer
to his. She looked down past her feet to the silent television as butterflies
fluttered across a digitally created meadow in a fabric softener commercial.
She swiped at her eye as though trying to hide the fact she was teary.

“You deserve so much better.” Her trembling voice betrayed
her.

He swallowed and finished with the hardest part. “When I tried
to stop her, she grabbed the keys to both cars and ran out the front door. She
threw my keys into the ice plant and drove off in her car. As soon as I found mine,
I went after her. I was nearly to town when I came upon the accident. Her car
was on its roof and Christina had crawled out. She didn’t look hurt, standing
there in the road. When I got to her, she collapsed into my arms.”

She lifted her hand and when he shifted, they brushed
together. He turned his hand to take hers and August laced her fingers within
his.

“A witness had already called an ambulance. I thought she
would be okay, but when I arrived behind them at the hospital, they told me she
died on the way.”

“I’m so sorry...for her. That she didn’t realize how good she
had it with you. That she ever took drugs the first time. What a tragic waste.”

“I should have seen it coming. I should have tried harder to
help her. She needed therapy. I shouldn’t have thought I could help her just by
keeping her away from the city. If only I had done more for her, she might
still be alive.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And unfortunately I never will. Don’t you see why I’m helping
you? I couldn’t live with myself if another woman died because I didn’t offer
my help. I need to do this, or I’ll never find any peace.”

Chapter Fifteen

August stared out the window at rolling country as his words
echoed in her mind. “
I need to do this, or I’ll never find any peace.
”

She knew he hadn’t meant it as it sounded, that she wasn’t
some charity case to appease his guilt. But she understood where he was coming
from, and it made it harder to stay true to her decision.

She had to leave the beach house. Even if Leah and Jocelyn were
gone, she couldn’t be responsible for endangering the Barthlow family in any
way. But Geoffrey wouldn’t see it that way. He would see it as her leaving him,
just like Christina had.

The idea she might hurt him made her stomach clench. If only
she could find a way to make him understand.

He glanced at her, but didn’t comment on her quiet mood. She
felt wretched.

They reached the Oregon border faster on the interstate, and
when they pulled off at the exit for Newport, she asked him if they could stop
at the Mirthful Mermaid for some clam chowder.

It was nearly three thirty when they arrived at the
restaurant, and only two groups sat in the huge dining room.

“Well, hello there, you two.” Gran Millie greeted them from
the bar. “Any luck?”

August shook her head. “It was a lovely drive, but nothing
came to me.”

“Well, don’t push it. The brain is a complicated engine that
doesn’t like to be over-revved.”

August smiled. Gran Millie always had a direct and simple way
of putting things that made terrific sense. “I thought your clam chowder would
help. Can we take that table by the window?”

Gran Millie shooed them away with a wave of her towel. “Go on,
I’ll be right over.”

“All right, August,” Geoffrey said as he helped her into a
chair. “What’s up? You seem...focused.”

“I’ve been thinking about your idea of a trap, of sorts.”

He sat across from her and eyed her warily. This wasn’t going
to be easy, but she was determined to make him see it her way.

“And?”

“I think it’s worth looking into.”

Gran Millie ambled over, carrying a tray with two huge bowls
of Boston clam chowder and iced tea for them both.

“Thanks, Gran Millie.”

“Be back in a snap with some soda crackers.”

Geoffrey waited until his grandmother was out of earshot.
“But?”

She sipped an almost too-hot spoonful carefully, biding her
time. “Can you read me that easily?”

He frowned. “Yes.”

She took a deep breath, trying to find the gentlest words. “I
like the idea...just not from the house.”

“From where, then?” He hadn’t touched his spoon.

“I want to talk to your grandmother about that.”

He looked down, and then away. He could sense where this was
going, and he wasn’t happy about it. A wave of guilt heated her blood. She had
to be careful, make sure he understood she wasn’t leaving
him
, only the
house.

“I don’t want to put your family in any more danger.”

“Leah and Jocelyn have gone back to Portland. Derek is the
only one there.”

“And you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of
his. “It’s because of you, Geoffrey. I’d die if anything happened to you.”

He shook his head, shrugging her protests away. “I understand
where you’re coming from, and I love you for it, but you’re worried over
nothing.”

“It isn’t
nothing
.” She sighed and straightened her
napkin, trying to find the words to make him understand without hurting him at
the same time. “There’s more to it than that. I need to occupy my day with more
than just trying to remember the past. I think I’ve been trying so hard to
reclaim my memory that’s precisely why I haven’t.”

“I told you, we can head to my loft in Portland. We’ll leave
some sort of clue for whoever this is—”

“Your grandmother still needs lunch help. I want you to ask
her about letting me stay in the room above the bar.”

He caught his breath. Stared at her. Something inside her
crumbled.

“You haven’t even seen it. It’s a closet. Besides, what can
you do with only one hand?”

“I’m not exactly helpless. Look at my hands; I still have
calluses. I worked hard, whatever I did before.”

He shook his head. “I’m not saying you didn’t—”

“It’s this, or the women’s shelter in Corvallis.”

The ultimatum rolled bitterly off her tongue, and after she’d
dropped it, she wished she could take it back. After his revelation about
Christina last night, she knew it sounded like she was leaving him, too. But
even though their relationship had advanced from more than simple friendship,
he shouldn’t feel that they were “breaking up.” Neither should she.

And yet she did. He leaned back in his chair and gave her a
long look. “It sounds like you’ve made up your mind.”

“I need to work. I need to feel useful. I can’t remain your
guest until I remember. What if it takes six months? A year?”

“You can remain my guest as long as it takes.” He clenched his
jaw.

She softened her tone, trying to smooth over the mood that had
effectively turned sour. “I know you feel responsible and you need to do this
for your conscience—”

“That’s not what this is about.” Geoffrey leaned forward and
reclaimed her hand. He gave her a resolute squeeze. “I care for you very
deeply, August. I would be happy if you never left.”

A warm rush of pleasure made her tingle, and she couldn’t help
but smile. His expression softened and he managed to smile back.

“Then do this for me,” she said in a softly pleading voice.
“Understand that this is what I need right now. Give me a reference with your
grandmother.”

Gran Millie approached the table cautiously. “This looks
serious.”

“Would you sit with us for a moment?” August asked. “We have
something to ask you.”

“I think it’s a bad idea. You’re not safer here.”

“All right, you two. What’s going on?” Gran Millie dragged a chair
around from the next table and sat on it backward.

With a grimace and an exasperated sigh, Geoffrey leaned
against the backrest of his chair. “August wants to move into the apartment
above the bar. She wants to work here.”

Gran Millie’s brows shot up. “She does, does she? I never knew
anyone who’d trade a suite at the beach house for the room over the bar.”

“Tell her everything, Geoffrey.”

Gran Millie crossed her arms over the back of the chair.
“Spill it, grandson.”

He relayed what August told him about working and occupying
her day, and with the feeling she was being followed by an unknown red-haired
woman.

Gran Millie glanced sidelong at August. “Mike told me he went
out there yesterday.”

“August thought someone was in the house,” Geoffrey told her.

“Someone
was
in the house,” she insisted. “I can’t
stand the fact an intruder broke in because of me.”

“Did Mike find any evidence?”

“Just an unlocked patio door,” Geoffrey answered.

August swiveled toward Gran Millie. “I don’t want to put you
in an uncomfortable position. The truth is I would feel safer here than I would
at the woman’s shelter in Corvallis. We know it’s a young woman following me—”

“We don’t know anything for certain,” Geoffrey argued.

“What it comes down to is I need a job. I need to keep busy
and get my mind off the fact I can’t remember anything, and then maybe I will.”

“Well, August, I think having a cute little thing like you
around could only be good for business, even if you do have only one hand.” She
glanced at Geoffrey. “But I don’t want to come between you and my grandson.”

Geoffrey clenched his jaw, but remained silent.

“It’s up to you, Geoffrey.” Gran Millie smiled as she lifted
her brows at him. “It looks like you’ve got two choices, and one of ’em’s all
the way in Corvallis.”

He rolled his eyes and grumbled. “Fine. If August wants to
move in here, I guess that’s better than going all the way to Corvallis.”

* * *

The room was definitely small. One window looked out over the
street, so high an intruder would have to use a twenty-foot ladder just to peek
over the bottom sill. Inside, a small box underneath held an emergency rope
ladder in case of fire. To exit quickly, she only had to flip open the swinging
pane and toss the ladder out the window. It would be difficult climbing with
only one hand, but the ladder was reassuring anyhow. She could escape quickly if
her life depended on it.

The room was at the end of a long hall, past two storage rooms
and Gran Millie’s office. Crates of extra supplies lined one side of the hall.
At the opposite end, Gran Millie’s full-sized apartment spanned the other half
of the second floor.

The door was strong and had a slide bolt, dead bolt, and a
locking knob. The tiny room was a combination bedroom-bathroom, with an antique
clawfoot bathtub and a pedestal sink under a small mirror. The day bed sat
against the far wall.

“I’ll get the sheets,” Gran Millie said. With a glance at
Geoffrey, she scurried off.

“I told you it was small.”

“It’s cozy,” she said, hopping onto the bed. Squeaky
bedsprings shrieked. Someone had put the bed there precisely for the view of
the ocean. From this angle, she couldn’t see the highway separating them from
the marina and jetty, just the tips of some of the taller masts, and miles and
miles of blue.

“Can I change your mind?”

She shook her head, smiling. August wished this wasn’t so hard
on him. It was hard on her, too, and she hovered on the verge of changing her
mind already. But her reasons were the wrong ones. A romantic relationship was
impossible until she remembered her past.

And then...she forced her fears away. One day at a time.
Wasn’t that what Alcoholics Anonymous taught?

“Will you at least come back to the house to pick what you
want to bring?”

She hopped off the bed, crossed the room and gave him a quick
peck on the lips. “Absolutely.”

* * *

Geoffrey awoke to a painfully quiet house. Since Derek’s shift
washing dishes at the Mirthful Mermaid was from two until eleven, he would be
asleep until noon.

Geoffrey threw his arm up over his brow. He had learned Derek
was working there only after August had decided to move out. The idea sat like
sour milk. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but he definitely didn’t trust
Derek.

He stared back at his reflection after brushing his teeth.
August was smart and strong. Even if Derek were to “put the moves on her,” as
he so charmingly put it, August would put him in his place. Still, Geoffrey
didn’t like it. He’d developed strong feelings for her, and he missed her. He
would even say he loved her, if he were to speak his feelings aloud.