Authors: Jeff VanderMeer
But it had been here for a while. It had to have been. Sloppy of Grace’s people not
to remove it. Too sloppy.
He turned toward the bathroom. “If anyone’s there, come out,” he said. “I have a gun.”
Now his heart was beating so fast and his hand was so tight on the flashlight he didn’t
think it could be pried loose.
But no one came out.
No one was there, as he confirmed by forcing himself to breathe more slowly. By forcing
himself to check every corner, including a small closet that seemed more cavernous
the farther he progressed into it. In the bathroom, he found the usual things—shampoo,
soap, a prescription for blood pressure drugs, a few magazines. Brown hair dye and
a hairbrush with gray strands snarled in it. So the director had felt self-conscious
about reaching middle age. The brush gleamed when his flashlight struck it, seemed
to want to communicate, akin to the scribbled-on receipts and torn magazine pages
that had laid bare parts of her life to him, more meaningful to him than his own.
He returned to the bedroom and played the flashlight beam over the wall again. No,
not the exact same tableau. The same words, the exact same words. But no height marks.
And the map—it was different, too. This version showed the island and its ruined lighthouse,
along with the topographical anomaly and the lighthouse on the coast. This version
also showed the Southern Reach. A line had been drawn between the ruined and functional
lighthouses and the topographical anomaly. That line had then been extended to the
Southern Reach. They looked very much like outposts on a border, like on ancient maps
of empires.
Control backed away and then down the hall into the living room, feeling cold, feeling
distant. He could not think of a scenario in which Central had seen those words, that
map, and not removed it.
Which meant that it had been created after they had searched the house. Which meant …
which probably meant …
He didn’t allow himself the thought. Instead, he went to the front door to confirm
a sudden suspicion.
The knob turned easily in his hand. Unlocked.
Which meant nothing.
Yet now his foremost idea, his only real idea, was to get out of the house. But he
still had the presence of mind to lock the front door and return to the back.
Pushed open the French doors, out into the rain.
Walked-ran back to the car.
* * *
Not until he was parked well away, on Bleakersville’s main street, did he call his
mother, tell her what he had found, and ask her to send a team in to investigate.
If he’d done it from the site, they’d have kept him there for far too long. As they
talked, Control tried to convince himself of benign interpretations, almost as much
as his mother did. “Don’t make leaps, John, and
don’t tell Grace
because she’ll overreact,” which was correct. Anyone from the Southern Reach could
have drawn that on the wall—Whitby as prime suspect other than the former director.
Pushing against that relative comfort: A disturbing vision of the director wandering
through neighborhoods and parks, across fields, into forests. Revisiting old haunts.
“But, John, there
is
something I need to tell you.”
“Tell me, then.” Had she given up Lowry’s identity as the Voice so she could hide
something else?
“You know the places where we picked up the anthropologist and the surveyor?”
“A front porch, the back of a medical practice.”
“We’ve noticed some … inconsistencies in those places. The readings are different.”
“How? How are they different?”
“We’re still sorting through the data, but we’ve quarantined the areas, even though
it’s difficult.”
“But not in the empty lot? Not where the biologist was?”
“No.”
022: GAMBIT
Late morning. An attempt to regain … control. The old familiar debriefing room whose
deficiencies he had become oblivious to, expecting a call from his mother with a report
about the director’s house that couldn’t possibly come until hours from now.
He had told Grace he was about to interview the biologist and wanted her there, in
the room, this time. A few minutes later, Grace came in wearing a bright yellow dress
in a flower pattern, black belt at the waist—some kind of Sunday best—not peering
around the doorway, not looking like he might lob a grenade at her. He was immediately
suspicious.
“Where’s the biologist?” Grace asked, in a kind of conspiratorial way. Control was
sitting by himself.
Control pushed out the chair opposite with his foot by way of reply, pretending to
busy himself looking over some notes.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You just missed the biologist. But she had some very interesting
things to say. Do you want to know what she said about you, for example?”
Somehow Control had expected Grace would see it as a trap, get up and try to leave,
and he’d have to convince her to stay. But she remained sitting there, appraising
him.
“Before I tell you, you should know that all recording devices have been turned off.
This is just between the two of us.”
Grace folded her arms. “That is fine with me. Continue.”
Control felt wrong-footed. He had expected she would go check, make sure he wasn’t
lying. Maybe she had checked before coming into the room. Grandpa Jack’s advice had
been that for this kind of work you needed “a second guy, always.” Well, he didn’t
have a second guy or gal. He plunged on anyway.
“Let me get to the point. Before the final eleventh expedition, the director crossed
over the border secretly, by herself. Did you know about this in advance? And did
you provide material aid? Did you provide command-and-control decision-making? Were
you, in fact,
complicit
in making sure she got back across the border? Because this is what the biologist
says the director told her.” None of this was in the official report on the incident,
which the Voice had sent via e-mail before their abrupt leave-taking over the phone.
There, in the report, the director had claimed to have acted on her own.
“Interesting. What else did the biologist tell you?” No heat behind the words.
“That the director gave you instructions to wait at the border every night for a week
on very specific dates about three weeks after she snuck across. To help her with
her return.” According to security records, each of those days Grace had left the
Southern Reach early, although there was no record of her at the border checkpoints.
“This is all in the past,” Grace said. “What are you trying to prove? Exactly.”
Control had begun to feel like a chess player who thinks he has a great move, but
the opponent is either brilliant or bluffing or has something untouchable four moves
ahead.
“Really? That’s your reaction? Because both of those accusations would be enough to
file an addendum to the report with Central. That you colluded with the director to
violate regulations and security protocols. That you provided material support. She
was put on probation. What do you think you’d get for lying?”
Smiling, Grace asked, “What do you want?”
Not exactly an admission, but it allowed him to continue on with the script in his
head, muffled the alarm bells. “Not what you think, Grace. I’m not pushing for you
to resign, and I don’t want to report this information to Central. I’m not out to
get the director. I want to understand her, that’s all. She went over the border.
I need to know exactly why and how, and what she found. The report on file is vague.”
Wondered now if Grace had written the report, or overseen its writing.
The report had mostly focused on the director’s punishment and the steps taken to
once again tighten border security. There was a brief statement from the director
that appeared to have been written by a lawyer: “Although I meant to act in the best
interests of the Southern Reach and the requirements of my position, I deeply apologize
for my actions and recognize that they were reckless, endangering, and not in keeping
with the agency’s mission statement. If allowed to return, I will endeavor to adhere
to the standard of conduct expected of me, and of this position.” “Measurements and
samples” were also mentioned in the report, but Control had as yet been unable to
track them down. They had not been placed in the storage cathedral, that much he knew.
Unless that boiled down to a plant and a mouse and an old cell phone.
“The director did not share her every thought with me,” Grace said in an irritated
tone, as if this fact bothered her, but with a strange half-smile on her face.
“I find it hard to believe that you don’t know more than you’re telling me.”
This did not move Grace to respond, so he prodded her with “I’m not here to destroy
the director’s legacy, or yours. I brought you here not just because of what the biologist
said but also because I think we could
both
have autonomy here. That we could run the agency in a way that means your position
remains unchanged.” Because as far as he was concerned, the agency was fucked and
he was now an undercover agent in the field, entering hostile territory. So use whatever
you don’t care about as a bargaining chip. Maybe before he found a way out he’d even
give Whitby that transfer he’d once wanted. Maybe he’d return to Central and have
a beer with Lowry.
“How gracious of you,” Grace said. “The schoolboy is offering to share the power with
the teacher.”
“That’s not the analogy I would have made. I would have—”
“Anything the director did, she did because she believed it was important.”
“Yes, but what did she do? What was she up to?”
“Up to?” Grace said, with a little snort of disbelief.
He chose his words very carefully. “Grace, I am already here. I am already in the
middle of this. You should just tell me what’s going on.” What was the look that could
convey without the reinforcement of words that he had already seen some very strange
shit? “Remember, none of this is on the record.”
Grace considered that for a second with what seemed like amusement. Then she began
to talk.
* * *
“You have to understand the director’s position,” Grace said. “The first expedition
had set the tone within the organization. Even though the original director, by the
time Cynthia got here, was trying to change that.” Cynthia? For a moment, Control
wondered who Cynthia was because he’d thought of her as “the director” for so long.
“The personnel here felt that the first expedition failed because the Southern Reach
did not know what it was doing. That we had sent them in, and they had died because
we did not know what we were doing, and we could never really make up for that.” The
first expedition: a sacrifice to a lack of context. A lament unrecognized as such
until it was too late. “And Lowry’s presence here at the agency”—was she reading his
mind, did she somehow know?—“from my understanding, only made that worse. He was a
living ghost, a reminder held up as a hero when he had just been a survivor. So his
advice was given more weight, even when it was wrong. The director only really had
a chance to pursue her own agenda after Lowry had been promoted to Central, even though
that, too, was a problem. Lowry pushed for more expeditions even though the director
wanted fewer, and whereas before she could control Lowry, now he was beyond her control.
So we kept sending people in, throwing them up against a complete unknown. This did
not sit well with the director, although she followed orders because she had to.”
He found himself being swept along by her narrative. “How did the director get her
own agenda through? In what ways?”
“She became obsessed with metrics, with changing the context. If she could have her
metrics, then Lowry could, grudgingly, have his expeditions, the conditioning and
hypnosis he championed, although over time she came to understand why Lowry pushed
the hypnosis.”
Control kept seeing Lowry in the context of the camera flying through the air: Lowry
crawling, the camera soaring, and the truth perhaps somewhere in the middle. And then
Lowry making Control crawl and soar.
None of this really spoke to the director’s secret mission across the border, though.
Was Grace just tossing information at him to avoid talking about it? It was more than
she’d ever said to him before.
“What else?” he asked. “What else did she do?”
She spread her hands as if for emphasis and the smile on her face was almost beatific.
“She became obsessed with making it react.”
“Area X?”
“Yes. She felt that if she could make Area X react, then she would somehow throw it
off course. Even though we didn’t know what course it was on.”
“But it
had
reacted: It killed a lot of people.”
“She believed that nothing we had done had
pushed
whatever is behind Area X. That it had handled anything we did too easily. Almost
without thought. If thought could be said to be involved.”
“So she went across the border to make Area X react.”
“I will not confirm that I knew about her trip or helped in any way,” Grace said.
“I will tell you my belief, based on what she said to me after she came back.”
“It wasn’t the reaction she wanted,” Control said.
“No. No, it was not. And she blamed herself. The director can be very harsh, but never
harsher than with herself. When Central decided to go ahead with the last eleventh
expedition, I am sure the director hoped that she had made a difference. And maybe
she had. Instead of the usual, what came back were cancer-ridden ciphers.”
“Which is why she forced herself onto the twelfth expedition.”
“Yes.”
“Which is why her methods had become suspect.”
“I would not agree with that assessment. But, yes, others would say that.”
“Why did Central let her go on the twelfth expedition?”
“For the same reason they reprimanded her after she went across by herself but did
not fire her.”