Avenging Home (10 page)

“We’ll be there. And we’ll bring some of the knuckle draggers with us to help,” Sarge replied.

“I’ve got some machinery that will help as well. I don’t think it will be too big a deal,” Mario said.

We talked for a while longer, sharing with Mario and Shelly the info about the radio broadcast. They were both HAMs as well, and wanted the frequency. Shelly said they spent most nights trying to find broadcasts. They’d found a few, but never reliably. Shelly said they would start monitoring the frequency as well.

“Be sure and write down any coded messages you hear,” Sarge said.

“You really think the Russians and Chinese will come?” Mario asked.

Sarge shrugged. “I don’t know. It’d be a hell of a thing if they did. We think we’ve got problems now dealing with these bumbling idiots with the DHS. But the Russians, they’re some mean bastards. Tough, well-armed.”

“What about the Chinese?” Shelly asked.

“Mean little fuckers. What they lack in quality weapons, they make up for in sheer numbers.”

“We’ll worry about that when the time comes,” I said.

Sarge took a very serious tone. “If it comes to that, we’ll have more to worry about than you can imagine.”

“If what you said is right, we could be truly screwed,” Mario said.

“Keep yer ears open,” Sarge said and turned around. “Ian! Saddle up!”

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I said.

As we walked back to the truck, Mario said, “What the hell?”

Sarge beamed. “Got me a gator!”

Mario and Shelly walked over and looked in the back of the Hummer. “It’s a big one,” Shelly said.

“I like gator meat,” Mario said with a smile.

“You want some of it?” Sarge asked.

Mario politely hesitated. “Well, yeah. But I couldn’t take it from you.”

Sarge slapped him on the back. “Of course you can! We’ll bring it over in the morning.”

Smiling even wider Mario replied, “I mean, if you insist.”

Shelly laughed. “Oh, whatever. We’d love some. He’s trying to act all bashful.”

“Let’s get home and butcher this big lizard, and then we’ll bring some meat over.”

We said our goodbyes as Ian ran up and climbed into the truck. Getting back in, we made the short ride to the neighborhood. Pulling in, I stopped at the bunker. Aric, Fred and Jess were there on duty.

“How’s Jamie?” Jess asked as I rolled to a stop.

With a slight shrug, I said, “She’s at the clinic. Doc stayed with her.”

Sarge leaned forward. “She’ll be alright. She’s a tough girl. Doc won’t let anything happen to her.”

Jess smiled weakly. “I hope so. I miss her already.” She looked up at Ian and squinted against the sun. “Several of us do.”

Ian smiled but didn’t say anything for a moment. “She’s too mean to kill. They’ll have to do better than that.”

“We’ve got a lizard to gut,” Sarge said.

“I see that,” Aric said, looking in the back of the truck. “It’s huge.”

“It’s dinner!” Sarge shot back.

“We’re having gator meat for dinner?” Fred asked.

“Looks that way. You like it?” I asked.

She twisted her face, “Don’t know. I’ve never had it.”

“It’s good. I like it fried,” Aric said with a smile.

“Well I’m sure Miss Kay will do something wonderful with it,” Sarge replied.

We’ll see you guys at dinner,” I said and pulled off.

We took the beast to Danny’s house. Thad and Mary were in the garden working when we pulled in. Danny came out as I backed the truck up towards the sheds.

“What’s up?” Danny asked as we were getting out.

“I took care of the meat issue for a little while,” Sarge replied with a smile.

Danny walked around to the back of the Hummer and opened it. “Damn, that’s a nice looking gator.”

“I want to keep the skin as nice as we can,” Sarge said.

“Sounds good to me. I’ve never done a gator before. Should be fun,” Danny said.

Not wanting to, but knowing I must, I asked Danny about the recovery at Tyler and Brandy’s.

Danny looked at the ground. “We couldn’t find much. But what we found, we buried out back by Jeff.”

“What about them youngins?” Sarge asked.

“They’re in the house with Bobbie and Kay. Jace said Tyler pushed them out the window but was too weak to get himself out. I guess Brandy was too weak to even try.”

Sarge shook his head. “That’s a hell of a thing.”

“At least the kids are ok,” I said.

“They’re shook up and not really saying much. But Kay and Bobbie are in there fussing over them,” Danny said.

“It’s sad, but what’s done, is done,” Sarge said. He then looked at the gator. “Right now, we’ve got work to do.”

I looked at him. “This is far from done.”

He stared at me for a moment. “It ain’t over, Morgan.”

I looked off into the woods behind him. “We can’t lose any more.” Looking back at him, I added, “I’m not burying anyone else.”

“Don’t worry, Morg. They’ll pay for what they’ve done.” He reached out and gripped my shoulder. “Pay for all of them.”

Danny set up three sawhorses and laid out a couple pieces of plywood on it to make it long enough so we could work the whole animal. Once it was on the makeshift bench, we looked the beast over. Sarge asked Ian to go get Mike and Ted.

“No problem,” Ian said as he headed off.

I took my vest off and laid it on a stump by the shed and pulled the ESEE from its sheath. Looking at the gator, I said, “Well, I guess we start at the beginning.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Sarge said. He looked at me and asked. “You ever skinned a gator?”

“No.” I replied. Then I looked around. “What is that banging?” I’d heard it when we first arrived. It seemed to have some sort of rhythm, starting and stopping.

Danny looked around too. “I was wondering the same thing.”

“Then keep yer dick skinners off it ‘till I tell you what to do.” He asked Danny for a razor knife. Danny grabbed one from a tool box in the shed and brought it back out. Sarge took the tool and looked at us. “The hide on one of these is the most valuable part.”

“Can we eat it?” I asked with a grin.

Sarge pursed his lips and shook his head. “Just shut up and pay attention.” He took the razor and traced a line on the gator’s back. “You skin these from the top down. You don’t split the belly open like on most critters.” Using the razor knife, he made a cut just outside the large bumps on the gator’s back, starting just behind the head. As he worked, he continued to explain what he was doing.

“These knots are called scoots. We’re going to make another cut on the other side as well until they meet at the tail.” After the second cut on the opposite side, he began to peel the hide back, running the blade of his knife along the meat. “Here, Danny. Pull back on this so I can cut it,” Sarge said. Danny did as instructed.

As they worked on that section, Thad walked up. Seeing the gator, he stopped short. “Oh, hell no!”

Chuckling, I said, “Come on Thad. It ain’t a snake.”

Keeping his distance from the gator, Thad walked around the scene. “No it ain’t no snake. It’s a damn crocodile! A snake will bite you, but a crocodile will eat your ass!” Danny and I both laughed at him.

Sarge snorted. “Yeah? Well,
we’re
going to eat this crocodile! Actually, it’s an alligator. There aren’t any crocs in this part of the world.” As Sarge said that, Danny lifted the back section of hide from the gator.

“That thing’s a damn monster,” Thad said.

Sarge smiled broadly. “Yeah, but it so goooood!”

Thad eyed him. “What’s it taste like?”

Sarge straightened up. “Gator, of course! That whole
it tastes like chicken
is chicken shit! If you wanted something that taste like chicken, then eat chicken!” Sarge looked at me. “Alright, Morgan. Pay attention.” Sarge made another cut on the top of one of the gator’s legs from just above the foot up to where the hide was missing. “I want you and Danny to start skinning these legs back.”

After he made the cut, I used my knife to start peeling back the skin. It had an interesting feel, reminded me of vinyl.

I looked at Thad. “Danny said you guys took care of Tyler and Brandy.”

“Wasn’t much to take care of. But we did what we could.”

“We’re going to make it right, Thad,” Sarge said.

“Ain’t going to make any difference to them,” Thad said.

“Maybe not,” I said. “But it will to us if we don’t have to dig any more graves.”

Thad nodded. “That will make a difference.

Sarge looked up at Thad. “You know there’s four legs. Get your ass over here and start working on that other’n there.” Thad’s brow furrowed as he stared at the animal. Sarge cackled. “Quit being a pussy and get over here. It’s dead for fuck sake!” He was trying to bring Thad out of the dark hole he was on the edge of. The guy’s seen some horrible crap, and no doubt this was wearing on him.

Thad removed the gun scabbard from his back and stepped up to the table. Drawing his knife, he poked at the gator, as if he expected it to jump off the table. It made all of us laugh. Thad hesitantly touched the gator with one finger. After a moment, he was running his hands over the gator’s skin.

“I ain’t never touched one before. Feels kind of like plastic,” Thad said.

Finally, past his apprehension, Thad got to work. With a skilled hand, he made short work of the leg he was working on and quickly moved on. Under Sarge’s tutelage, we had the top side of the beast skinned in no time and had to roll it over to continue the process. Just as we’d flipped it, Ian showed up with Mike and Ted in tow.

“Holy hell!” Mike shouted when he saw what we were doing. “The old poacher finally got him a gator!”

Without looking up, Sarge barked, “I ain’t no poacher!”

Looking down at the reptile, Mike said, “It’s your lie. You tell it.”

“Shit. What’s a poacher anyway? You gotta ask the State for permission to feed yourself? Think about it. What’s the natural way for a man to eat? He has to hunt or fish. He has to go get his meat. But in today’s ass-backwards world, that’s illegal, less’n you go to the State and get permission. They see hunting as a privilege and not a right. Instead they say you have to go buy your meat from a store, on Styrofoam trays wrapped in plastic. You got to have a license to do any damn thing.” Sarge looked up, “’Cept to vote.”

Ted snorted. “The one thing there should be a license for.”

“And an IQ test,” Mike added.

Sarge looked at Mike. “That’d keep you from ever seeing a polling booth.” The comment got a round of laughs from all of us.

Mike snorted. “Pffft, I’ve forgot more than you know.”

“Shit. You’re so damn ignorant, you don’t even know what you don’t know!” Sarge shouted.

Mike looked at the gator and Thad. “You know what you’re doing?”

“I’m following his lead,” Thad said with a smile.

“Careful with that, Thad. He’s led us into some shitty situations,” Ted said.

Sarge cut his eyes at him. “Yeah, but I always brought your asses out.”

Ted nodded slowly. “That you did. That you did.”

Sarge then looked at Mike. “And hell yes, I know what I’m doing!”

“I think you’ve done this before,” Mike said.

Sarge nodded his head slightly. “Once or twice.”

Danny was working the hide from the tail and asked, “Ever have a license?”

Sarge looked up, and holding his trigger finger up and, working it back and forth, he said, “Yeah, right here. This is all the license I need.”

Mike grunted. “Told you he was a poacher.”

An interesting thing about a gator is it has a perpetually erect penis. And on occasion when that nerve is hit, it will shoot out as if on a spring. As Sarge was cutting around one of the back legs he hit that nerve in the gator and its penis suddenly shot out. It caused all of us to jump back, except the old man. He quickly grabbed a hold of it and sliced it off.

Mike was wide-eyed. “What the hell is that?” He shouted.

Sarge grinned and threw it at Mike’s face. “It’s a dick, Dick.”

The phallus hit him on the chin as he jumped back. We all started to laugh as he thrashed about, wiping his chin vigorously. “What the fuck, man!”

Ted was doubled over laughing. Pointing at Mike, he said, “You just got tea-bagged by a gator, a dead gator no less!” Sarge erupted into laughter and had to stop work.

Mike looked down at the member lying in the dirt and picked it up. He eyed Sarge, though only briefly, before taking a quick step towards Ted who was still laughing uproariously. Before Ted saw him, Mike slapped Ted in the face with it. The laughter ceased as Ted went into a spitting fit.

“Dude! I had my fucking mouth open!”

“Oh, that’s just wrong!” Ian shouted.

That was it. We were all now immobilized with laughter. Even Mike got his chance for a good laugh, reminding me so much of Goose from Top Gun. Once we all had ourselves under control, we got back to work. Now that the hide was off, it was time to get serious.

Sarge was sharpening his knife on a folding diamond hone as he talked about the next phase of the process.

“All right, girls. Listen up. A gator has basically two kinds of meat, white and dark.”

“No wonder they say it tastes like chicken,” Ted said.

“Shut up, Teddy. Or I’ll shove that gator cock in your mouth again,” Sarge replied. Ted’s brow wrinkled and he turned his head slightly and spit. “Didn’t take you for a spitter,” Sarge added.

Mike started to laugh until Sarge said, “You really want my attention, Mikey?” Suddenly, Mike found something very interesting in the trees behind us.

“Now, where was I?” Sarge asked.

“Two kinds of meat,” I said.

“Right. So the jowl meat and the jelly roll from the tail are the white meats. The rest is dark meat.”

“Jelly roll?” Thad asked.

Sarge smiled. “Yeah, jelly roll. Let me show you.”

Working on the tail, he separated the meat from the bone. At the base of the tail he pulled the muscle back and reached down inside and pulled out a smooth tube of meat and cut it free. Removing the beautiful piece of nearly translucent muscle, Sarge held it up and said, “This is the finest piece of eating on these things. It’s a tenderloin, and there’s another one on the other side.”

Sarge laid the piece of flesh down and went to work on the other side. In the blink of an eye, he had the other one out. Picking up the two pieces of meat, Sarge said, “Now go ahead and bone out the rest of the critter. Don’t open it up. It don’t need to be gutted. Just cut the meat off it.”

“Where are you going?” I asked.