Avenging Us (Rocker Series Book 3) (24 page)

We lifted off, and I gripped Abel’s thigh hard with one hand while the other held the door for dear life. After a few minutes of smooth flying, I started to settle in, and Abel became the tour guide, talking into the microphone so that I could hear him through the earpiece. “See that down there?”

I looked over to where he was pointing, taking in the incredible view.

“Catalina is part of the Channel Islands Archipelago. Archipelago is made up of eight islands and is divided into two groups. Northern Channel Islands and Southern Channel Islands. They were founded by Native Americans. However, Catalina is the most inhabitable.” He drawled over the steady drone of the rotors. I was putty in his hands. He worked me, molding my body and mind until I was unable to resist.
Charmer
.

After what only seemed like minutes, we touched down. Abel was at my side, and our night in Catalina started off glamorously. Instantly, we were whisked away in the back of a blacked-out Suburban. We drove along the roadside beach until we entered the driveway of Descanso Beach Club. It was beautifully whimsical, but not the over-the-top lavishness I’d expected.
Always expect the unexpected
, I reminded myself. Abel was passionate about his lifestyle, as he was about any other aspect of his life. He was all in…

Abel guided me with his hand to limestone steppingstones that led to the beach. Tip-toeing over them in five-inch heels was comparable to being in American Ninja Warrior. Each step, the stones would shift side to side. It was a delicate balance of sheer will and determination. At the end of the path, there was an opening that led to the beach. I looked down.
Sand.

“Here…” He knelt down, letting me lean against his shoulders to steady myself, and removed one shoe at a time. “Better?” He drew me to him, whispering into my ear as my eyes wandered. A white gazebo with burning torches lit up the beach in front of us.

I gasped after one appreciative glance. “Is that for us?” I didn’t even know why I asked. I knew him, and this was his personality. He always had to top the best. It’s just who he was.

“No,” he teased. “That’s for a guy who’s miserably in love with his bride to be.” Then he pointed to an outdoor tiki bar. “That’s for us…”

I had no choice but to roll my eyes. He was right. It was a ridiculous question. Which, in turn, got a ridiculous response. We walked along the cool sand hand in hand, a playful smile pulling at his mouth. He was oddly romantic, swinging our hands as we walked until we reached our destination.

“May I?” He pulled out my chair.
What is he politicking
for?
I sat and dropped my clutch on the table. He sat himself, grabbing his napkin as a mature looking waiter came from beyond the tree line.

“Can I offer you any wine or cocktails this evening?” He only made eye contact with Abel. It was probably very clear how dominant he was, so there would be no point in asking me anything.

“Opus One, 2010 cabernet please, and some sparkling water.” Arrogance flowed from his every word, and at the same time, I found it all together arousing. He disarmed people with his tattooed image and piercings. However, when he opened his mouth, he was confident and articulate.
Mindfuck.

The waiter returned with the bottle of wine Abel ordered, making a show out of uncorking and pouring. He waited for Abel to taste before he lavished my glass with some purple heaven. I could only have a glass or two, because of the breastfeeding. Luckily, I’d been pumping so I had some saved up in stock for the occasional alcoholic splurge. It took twelve hours for alcohol to synthesize through your body, and since I was Bella’s personal milk cow, I had to be careful. It didn’t help that I had a fear of intoxicating my newborn with my milk.

“Do you see what is in front of you, my beauty?” he asked, the rasp in his voice crashing against my thighs and causing me to squeeze them together. He clinked his glass with mine, toasting us, and I focused on what was in front of me.

I saw the picture-perfect view in front of me. The sun sank rapidly into the horizon, eventually melting into the sea. The star’s bright voices came alive in the night sky—a perfect canvas for seduction.

The heat of his gaze ignited tiny flames along my skin, alighting my body in a familiar warmth. “It’s beautiful. I don’t have any other words for it. Simply stunning.” And it was. But, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but his fingers settling on my thigh…squeezing every so often. A reminder that he occupied me and the space around me.

His emotions seemed to roll off him. “I feel it’s on me to show you how much you mean to me. That there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Any distance I wouldn’t travel, and any line I wouldn’t cross. You are my bottom line, Beauty. And I don’t have to remind you that I play for keeps.”

What was wrong with him? I knew all this. All of a sudden, his expression turned very serious.

“The album drops at the end of the year.” He paused, his eyes seeking my own. “There will be a tour, and I won’t go without you and Bella.”

His eyes shone in the moonlight, waiting—watching.
Transcendence
. Before I was utterly paralyzed by him, I answered. “Do you honestly think the
road
is a wise choice for Bella? I mean,
we
barely survived it. How do you think a baby will do in the chaotic-nomadic-mess called rock and roll?”

He looked like I just slashed him across the face with a butcher’s knife. The smile he wore was instantly replaced with something else. Anger. Rejection. Hurt. Pain. The intoxicating cocktail blew through my mind, into my veins, and out of my pores. I wanted to take it back. My skin began to heat up for an entirely different reason. I felt dizzy with remorse.

“I’m sorry,” I amended. “I sound like a witch, and it didn’t come out how I intended.” I continued grabbing his hesitant hand. “I’d follow you anywhere. It’s your business. I get that, but…I’m just saying, it’s no longer just you and me. We have
our
dragonfly now.” I hedged, hoping he’d see where I was coming from.

“Would you like to order now?” I heard someone say from behind me, releasing me from the numbing trance. I deferred to Abel, as I didn’t see a menu to order from. A look of concern lingered beyond his handsome features, but he remained composed.

“I’ll have a word with your chef,” he said, throwing his napkin on the table.

I watched his retreating silhouette fade into the backdrop of the scenery. I had to wonder what this all meant—if anything—or was I an insecure gaggle of hormones and bad karma? Unsure of how long he was gone, it may have only been a few minutes, but I felt a succinct separation. My words, as innocent or truthful as they were, unbalanced me. I couldn’t imagine what they did to him. At the end of the day, all I wanted to do was thank him for loving me. Beyond all the pain, emotional cracks, and wicked insecurity…I am his and he is mine. Our baby wouldn’t be fledged into chaos…she’d be blinded by love.

The evening continued. He had not spoken a word, and barely touched his meal. His silence was unsettling, even frightening. I expected something from him—anything. His face reddened, and I could see he was fighting to control his temper. Yet his eyes continued to fixate on the shoreline as the waves lapped along the sand. I remained quiet. From experience, it was wise to let him work it out internally first. Then, the words would come. The food was delicious, but the thick tension draped over me, squeezing my throat with each swallow. Dry, tasteless, and bitter. My words came back to me over and over again with each bite I took.

Earlier, our desire was
barely
controlled. We were desperately in love. But, I felt torn between my overwhelming love for him and the love for our daughter. This was about my love for both of them.

He spun around suddenly, causing me to jump, his teeth showing as if he were about to growl. “I’d hate for you to feel you’re being held captive by a nomadic-mess of a rock star.” His face darkened further, but I remained confidently quiet, despite my pounding pulse. “I didn’t realize you felt the way you did. And, well, I take that personally.” His rage was very apparent, not only through his harsh words, but also by his narrowed eyes and furrowed brow. “I’ve failed to take care of you, and my lifestyle isn’t good for Bella.”

Oh, for the love of all things holy. Really?
“Not true, and you’re twisting the intent behind my words,” I said tersely, not caring how he took my attitude at the moment.

His gaze was unnerving, but the creases in his brows held disappointment. I knew the facial expressions of Abel well. Just like he was proficient in reading mine. His feelings were hurt, and as badass as he liked to portray himself to be, he was still a man with pride in his eyes and love in his heart. However, his secondary needs were tricky. It was his fear of rejection and abandonment that he struggled with. He attempted to mask this with primary needs…thirst, hunger, and sex. I am no stranger to the way he feels. We are very similar in that way. So I knew I needed to be assertive and consistent in my response. That way, there would be no misunderstanding. I decided to take a page out of the Abel handbook of hard-hitting, jaw-dropping, flat-out truths.

His scrutinizing eyes watched me carefully.

“I’m very lucky to be in love with you. To be loved by you. I can live without some things, but never
you
.” I dropped my napkin and went to him tentatively. “How can I possibly express to you in words that have been said a thousand times?” His eyes fell to my mouth. “My heart’s on fire for you. It burns and will keep burning, because I want you. I need you. I love you.” His silence nearly killed me. A breath away from his lips…all rational thought was slipping out the open window of control.
Hold it together
, I thought. This is his move. Let him make it. Have some faith.

Before I blinked, his lips were on mine, claiming me without our bodies touching. Without any hesitation, we didn’t fight the hungered passion between us. No matter how much he kissed my lips, it wasn’t enough. I was lost in him. The passion behind his kisses, his scent, and his touch. Consumed by lust, I drove my tongue deeper. Pulled the back of his neck closer. More. I just wanted more. It was the sound of my zipper being tugged that popped my eyes open. His eyes were nothing but black, depthless pits of carnal need. He released my kiss and pulled me across his lap to cradle me in his arms. One hand worked the side zipper, while the other hand pulled the material over my hips. His fingers grabbed the string of my panties and tore them off…leaving me bare and exposed.
Punishment
. Alpha, potent, possessive, and dominant to the point of insanity. Heat blew wickedly across my face. The thought of this waiter coming to check our table disturbed me.

“You know how turned on I get when you flush? However, I will not penetrate you…not even with my tongue or fingers.” I considered his words and what that meant for me. He caressed my open thighs. My eyes traveled back and forth between his face and the hotel in the backdrop. A slow, wicked smile danced across his face. He was gratified by my nervous response. He never inserted one finger, but skirted around the entrance to my pussy. Then, he caught my clit between his fingers and waited. This wasn’t love-making. This was about fulfilling baser needs, carnal cravings, and a display of male dominance he single-handedly concurred. My stomach bottomed out and I wanted to push my ass into his hard length below. He drew out the visceral side of me and luxuriated in it. He exuded confidence, control, and savagely pinched my clit until all shame and self-control flew out of my lungs and into the night’s air.
Abel
.

He bent over, his lips floating across the side of my face. “That, my beauty, is how you cap off a night,” he whispered, licking the side of my face. He was vulgar, possessive, hot, and all mine…

For the past week, the boys had been over, recording in Abel’s home studio. I was busy with Bella and my dress fittings. Thankfully, Chance and my future mother-in-law had the reception squared away. Cindy and my mother-in-law left and would be back in time for the wedding. Abel and I were synchronized, despite our disagreement in Catalina.

It was late and Bella was sleeping. Embracing my inner badass ninja capabilities, I snuck down to the studio. I peeked my head into the producing door and saw him in a red-grey flannel cutoff with a white short sleeve T-shirt beneath it. He had one black denim-clad, booted leg against the rung of the stool. Abel had something special planned for the ceremony that he’d been working on. Being the nosiest bitch in the world and unable to contain my excitement, my curiosity got the better of me. He’d surely see me if I sat down, so I stayed hidden in the shadows of the door.

He plugged his guitar into the amp and continued composing. Music sheets splayed on a wooden stool, and a pencil sat snuggly behind his ear. He was deep in thought.
Fuck, if I can only flip the intercom switch,
I thought. My gaze slowly moved up his frame, past the guitar he strummed with his right hand, and up his long, defined arm. I lingered on his broad shoulders and the way his white T-shirt pulled tautly across his chest as he played. Yet it was his face that had me transfixed. His black hair hung messily over his eyes and he would occasionally whip his head to see past it. He would close his eyes, as if trying to focus on an image from the song he played in front of him. Sometimes, his face would shift along with the lyrics through looks of despair and adoration. He felt every word he sang. He looked directly into the booth, and I could have sworn our eyes met. If they truly had met, he’d know beyond any doubt how incredibly turned on I was. I couldn’t help but bite my lip painfully. His lips, a hairsbreadth away from the microphone, reminded of how he woke me up every morning. He had an internal clock that woke before the baby’s morning feeding, for his own feeding.