Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) (15 page)

Too bad it’s all an illusion.

“So, what can I get for you all?” Maggie asks, bringing me back from my wishful thinking.

We place our order and of course Maggie doesn’t write anything down. I don’t even know why she carries around a pen and notebook, because she never uses it. I’m sure it’s just out of habit. She’s been doing this for years, so she uses her exceptional memory to remember everything anyone orders.

She stays and chats for another minute or two and then walks off to put in our order to Cookie, the cook. The chatter around the table is light and enjoyable. I listen to the men talk about unimportant things, joining in the conversation when I need to, but content to stay silent.

“Wanna see what I drew?” Ally asks, holding her picture to her chest, looking hesitant.

“I would love to see it, honey.”

Her eyes light up and she holds the picture out for me to grab. I smooth it out in front of me on the table. For a girl so young, she has an amazing artistic imagination and talent. I’ve seen some of her drawings and every one was outstanding. I can definitely see her doing something in art when she’s older.

What I see when I look at the picture has my throat clogging with emotion. It’s a picture of a pond with the sun shining down on it. Beautiful multicolored flowers surround the pond. There’s even a mama duck with her baby chicks swimming. On either side of the pond are a man and a woman sitting on docks with their feet in the water as they look up at the sun. They are too far away to draw the faces, but I would bet that if they were drawn, the faces would be sad. You can see it by the way they hold their bodies.

I look up at her, only to see her looking at Nick. When I look at him, he’s looking down at the picture with an expression I can’t quite decipher. I hadn’t realized the table had gone quiet until just now.

Nick removes his arm from the back of the bench and reaches out slowly for the picture. He lifts his eyes to Ally and asks in a soft voice, “This is very beautiful, Ally. Who are these people?”

She drops her eyes to her lap, biting her tiny lip before bringing them back to Nick. I hold my breath, wondering if she’s going to say what I think she is.

“That’s you,” she says, pointing to the man. “And I don’t know who the woman is. I just…” She trails off.

“You just what, sugar?” Nick asks gently.

“Sometimes I have dreams,” she whispers. “Sometimes they are clear and sometime they aren’t. I dreamed that picture the other night. I knew the man was you, because Uncle Andy has talked about you before and I’ve seen pictures of you, but I don’t know who the woman is. Her face wasn’t clear.”

We all look back down to the woman in the picture, each knowing who she is. She has long red hair, after all. And I think Ally knows it too, but she’s too worried to say it out loud.

The picture depicts my and Nick’s precarious relationship to a T. We’re on separate sides of the pond, filled with sadness; his grief for losing Anna, mine for feeling helpless at seeing his grief.

“That’s not all I dreamed.” Ally speaks up again and we all look from the picture back to her, waiting for her to continue. “The man looked down from the sun and smiled. A boat appeared in front of him and he got in it and started rowing toward the girl. That’s when I woke up.”

I freeze, unable to draw in breath. I have no clue what to say. Is this girl special? Can she see things others can’t? Does she somehow dream premonitions? When she was in the hospital she told everyone that an angel visited her in a dream and told her she would be fine. And here she sits, cancer in remission.

None of us say anything. We just stare at either Ally or the picture. I feel Nick move beside me and look over at him. His eyes are still on the picture, his face an unreadable mask. I wish I knew what he is thinking. I know he has to know who the woman is. And I also know he would deny what the picture and Ally’s dream represent. I can’t help but hope it comes true. Part of it has already come true. We have this huge gulf between us.

Maggie interrupts the solemn moment when she brings our food. I slide the picture back to my side so Maggie can set the food down and it’s not in the way. I don’t want anything happening to it.

I crook my finger at Ally and lean over the table. She gets to her knees and leans over as well.

“Can I keep the picture?” I whisper, my voice sounding broken even to my own ears.

She smiles and nods.

“Thank you.”

What she doesn’t realize is I’m thanking her for more than just giving me the picture. I’m also thanking her for giving me that little bit of hope I feel building in my stomach.

I feel eyes on me and look up at Jase. He gives me a small chin lift, and I immediately know what he’s saying. He’s telling me he understands and accepts what I’m doing in trying to help Nick. That he no longer resents him and the situation.

I grin at him, only to have him roll his eyes, and then grin back.

We eat in silence, the easy atmosphere no longer oozing off Nick. His body is tense beside me. His leg no longer rests against mine, and I miss the touch and warmth. I know he’s got to be thinking about the picture and it has him confused.

After several minutes of strained silence, Jase and Ally excuse themselves so he can walk her to the bathroom. As they walk away, the bell over the door tinkles. I glance back to see Jaxon walking our way. He gives me a meaningful look, secretly letting me know he got my message earlier.

“Hey,” he rumbles, once he’s standing beside our table. “I’m glad I caught you here, Chris. I have bad news. Last night your apartment sprung a leak in the bathroom. It’s fixed, but the floors are soaked. I have someone coming in tomorrow to vac dry the carpet. I don’t want you staying there until it’s dry.”

I feign shock with a gasp. “What? How on earth did that happen?”

“I’m not sure. There was a busted pipe under the sink. The building and pipes are old, so I’m sure it was just from use. I’ve replaced them, so it should be good. I’ve needed to do that for a while anyway. And your stuff is fine. It’s mainly the hallway that got soaked.” He turns to Nick. “Can she stay at your place a couple more days until it’s taken care of?”

Jaxon shows no shame or remorse in asking Nick if I can stay. I almost laugh at the look Nick throws his way. It’d hurt to see the way “No” practically sits on the edge of his tongue if I didn’t know Jaxon and I are playing him. I don’t know if Nick believes Jaxon’s story or not, and I don’t care, as long as it gets me a couple more days with Nick. He still has his shitty moments toward me, but since I’ve been there he’s shown me other sides of himself. I cherish the good ones.

“Why can’t she stay with you?” Nick grits out, narrowing his eyes at Jaxon in suspicion.

“Because my cousins are staying at my house for the next couple of nights. They’re taking the extra bedroom. And before you ask, Mac and Mia have a full house too. His parents are visiting.”

Nick glances at Andrew with panicky eyes, I’m sure hoping he can pawn me off on them.

Okay, there’s the pain creeping in. The hidden smirk drops from my face and my mood darkens.

“No can do, my friend, Ally has the spare. Looks like you’re stuck with Chris for the next couple days,” Andrew says, his shoulders shaking slightly with his laugh.

I hear Nick’s muttered “Fuck” beside me and his words from last night come rushing back to mind.

“For the love of God, stop acting so damn desperate.”

Pain pierces my heart. I may be desperate, but I hate the thought of him thinking me so pathetic. Why am I so determined to be near someone who would rather cut off both hands than be close to me? When did I become the person who tries to push herself where she’s not wanted? And why in the world does it have to be the man sitting beside me who makes me feel like I can’t breathe without him?

My palms become sweaty and my heart races in my chest. My temples start to pound, and I feel tingles on the top of my head. Shit. I can’t breathe. I need to leave. I need to get out of here and away from Nick. I’ve never had a panic attack before, but I’d bet this is the start of one.

They must notice my impending attack because through my blurry vision, I see Nick turn to face me, brows drawn down over blue eyes when he sees my sweaty and pale face.

“What the hell—”

I stop him with a shove.

“Move, move, move!” I say hysterically, still trying to push him from his seat. He’s not moving fast enough. I can’t be here anymore. “I need to leave! Now! Please get up! I’ve got to go!”

“What the fuck, Chris?” Nick asks with alarm, finally sliding from his seat.

I follow closely behind him and am on my feet a second later. The sudden movement from sitting to standing leaves me dizzy. I grab the back of the booth to steady myself before I fall on my face. I hear Jaxon and Andrew talking, but I don’t know what they’re saying. A hand grabs my arm.

I snatch it back. “No! Don’t touch me!” I spit at Nick.

Suddenly, I’m pissed. The dizzy fades away as all the shit he’s put me through boils up and overflows.

He throws his palms out in front of him, but takes a step closer to me. I drop my eyes from his and point them at his chest. I can’t look at him right now. The dizziness may have faded, but my head is still pounding like drummers in a parade.

“You need to sit before you fall,” he says apprehensively.

“Like you freaking care,” I mutter snidely.

When I go to sidestep him, he gets in my way.

“Chris, I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but sit the fuck down,” he growls.

“Fuck you, Nick! I’m leaving. I’m going home.”

I try to go around him the other way, but he moves with me.

“Move!”

“No!” he barks.

I snap my eyes to his and shove his chest, hard. He doesn’t move an inch. And it just pisses me off more.

“Get the hell out of my way!” I demand.

He captures my hands in one of his and bends his knees so he’s in my face. I try to yank them away, but he holds them firmly. Why does the stupid jerk have to be so strong?

“Where are you going to go? You can’t stay at your house.”

Shit!
I forgot in my near panic that Jaxon and I staged a leak.

I look over at Jaxon, who’s watching us closely, then at Andrew and Jase, who have a worried Ally behind them. Andrew almost looks amused, while Jase looks livid and ready to pounce. The rest of the diner is quiet, the few customers no doubt watching the show.

“Fine!” I grate between my teeth, trying to calm myself down. “I’ll find somewhere else to stay. Now let me go.”

“The hell you will,” he says, ignoring my demand to let go of my hands. “You’re coming home with me,” he declares heatedly.

My eyes bug out, and I laugh in his face. The gall of this man.

“Are you listening to yourself right now? First you damn near come unglued at the thought of me being there. You pretty much demand I leave. And now you’re saying you
want
me there? Do you see how I’m finding this a little hard to take?”

“I don’t care how you take it, Sugar, but the fact remains, you’re coming home with me.” He’s only a hair’s breadth away from my face when he finishes. “Whether you like it or not.”

Ugh!
This man is so damn frustrating! I’ve put up with so much shit from him. My head is spinning from his constant back-and-forth attitude changes. I don’t know who I am anymore around him. How much more can I take before it obliterates me?

“Enough!” Jaxon booms from behind Nick.

We both ignore him. Our chests pump with our breathing as we glare at each other. Nick’s pupils eat up the intense blue, just as I’m sure the green in mine has disappeared as well.

“Chris, your ass is staying with Nick. And Nick, you’re going to be nice about it. Understood?” Jaxon says, his tone brooking no argument.

I pull on my arm and he finally releases it. Taking a step back, I turn to Jaxon. “Fine,” I mutter petulantly.

I get a chin lift in return and he turns his eyes to Nick.

“Nick,” he warns, when Nick doesn’t answer.

After several seconds, he hisses, “Yes.”

“Good. Now pay for your and Chris’s lunch and get the fuck home.”

Grinding my teeth, I walk away from Nick and over to Andrew, Jase, and Ally. Squatting down, I reach for the little girl still behind their legs. Her worried eyes break my heart. She immediately puts her arms around me.

“I’m sorry you saw that, baby,” I murmur in her ear.

“It’s okay,” she says, her voice small.

I pull back from her, cup her cheeks, and look into her eyes. She appears to be fine, but I still hate that she witnessed what happened.

I bring her forehead to my lips for a kiss. After getting a smile from her, I stand up. I lean up on my toes and kiss Andrew on the cheek. He grins down at me, not fazed by what happened. He’s used to the shit that goes on between me and Nick.

“I’m proud of you,” he says in a low voice. This is the first time I’ve stood up to Nick, so I understand what he means. I don’t feel particularly good about it though. I never raise my voice like that. I try to stay away from confrontation as much as possible. But a girl can only take so much.

I turn to Jase and see he’s shooting daggers at Nick. So much for the truce.

I pinch his scruffy chin and force his face down so he’s looking at me.

“Stop,” I tell him firmly.

He’s about to say something, but I silence him by gripping his chin tighter.

“No. Leave it be. I’m fine, and I’ll be fine there.”

He scowls at me for a minute before giving me a single nod. I kiss his cheek next and then stomp out of the diner, not waiting for Nick.

The bastard can stay behind for all I care.