Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) (45 page)

She’s leaning on the sink, looking at her reflection. I stand there and watch, desperately waiting. I forgot about her silly mirror behavior until just now. The need to see something normal from her is overwhelming.

She stands there for several moments, just looking at herself. I frown when she pulls back and turns away from the mirror without making a face. I push open the door and she yelps at my sudden intrusion.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

She looks at me with confusion and a hint of annoyance. “I took a shower.”

“Why didn’t you do it?” I take a step toward her.

“Do what?” she asks with bewilderment.

“Make a face at yourself. You said you’ve done it since you were little. Why didn’t you do it just now?”

Understanding dawns on her face before she shrugs. “I just don’t feel the need anymore.”

I don’t like her answer. It’s like she’s giving up all the joys life has to offer. As if life will only ever be about the seriousness of situations and not the pleasures it can give as well.

Her eyes go wide when she sees me come up behind her. I grab her shoulders and turn her to face the mirror. She stiffens with my touch, and I ignore the pain that causes.

“What are you doing?” she asks over her shoulder.

Instead of answering her, I gesture to the mirror with my chin. “Do it.”

She turns and looks at me through the mirror.

“No,” she says, and breaks our stare.

“Come on, Chris. I’ll do it with you,” I cajole her, and give her shoulders a slight shake.

She looks up again and watches me. “I really don’t want to, Nick. What’s the point anymore?”

I disregard the kick in the gut her soft words cause me.

“Just because life sucker punched you doesn’t mean it has to all be serious. Life can still be silly and fun, Sugar. You taught me that. Now come on. Make a face with me.”

At first she doesn’t do anything except look at me through the mirror. After several seconds, she brings her gaze to her own face. She briefly sticks out her tongue, before tucking it back in her mouth.

“You can do better than that,” I scold her. “Look, like this.” I twist my lips so the top is pushed to the right and my bottom is to the left. Then I cross my eyes.

When I bring my eyes back into focus, Chris’s lips are twitching at me in the mirror. Just that small glimpse has my heart soaring.

“Your turn.”

She does better this time by puffing out her cheeks and scrunching up her whole face. I rest my chin on her bare shoulder and move my hands to her hips. She brings her face back to normal. We both look at each other’s reflection. I’ve missed her so much. We’ve been together nonstop for over a week, but she couldn’t have been further away from me if she was across the globe.

My arms snake around her waist until my chest is flush against her back. My cheek rests against hers. Her hands are on the sink in front of her. I feel the flutter of her pulse in her neck. Neither of us says anything, just opting to stand quietly for a couple minutes.

“I’ve missed you,” I whisper.

Pain flashes in her eyes. “Nick—”

“I’m so sorry,” I tell her, my heart in my throat. I’ve said it to her a lot over the last few days, but I know no matter how many times I apologize, it’ll never be enough. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it gets easier.”

She drops her eyes from mine, and I feel the loss. I want to snatch it back. I carry my own pain of losing Anna, and then of losing a baby I thought I didn’t want, and also of losing Chris, but I’d take on her pain as well in a heartbeat. I’d do anything to have back the woman that forced her way into my life, whether I wanted it or not.

A wave of her delicious vanilla scent hits me, and I dip my head to kiss her shoulder, still watching her face in the mirror. Her eyes flutter closed and she inhales sharply. I skim my lips up the smooth skin of her neck until I reach her ear. “I miss you,” I repeat again.

When she opens her eyes again, there’s undisguised lust in their depths, as well as a hint of longing and remorse. I pull back from her before she has a chance to pull back herself. I want nothing more than to take her back to bed and leisurely explore her body, but she’s not ready yet. Not to mention, her body isn’t physically ready for it. She sags against the sink as I see both disappointment and relief at my retreat.

“Get dressed and meet me in the living room,” I tell her and walk out.

I blow out a harsh breath when I make it to the living room. Adjusting my hardening cock, I sit and put on my boots. I’m pulling on my jacket when she walks in a few minutes later. It’s amazing how the tables have turned for us. For so long it was me pushing her away, wanting nothing to do with her attempts at pulling me out of my depressed and destructive state. It’s now she who needs my help, and I’m determined to do whatever I have to do to bring back my Chris.

I grab her jacket off the couch and walk to her. After she puts it on, I hold her gloves up for her to slip her hands inside, then I wrap her scarf around her neck and put her hat on her head. Bending down, I lift her feet to put them in her boots and then tie them.

“I’m not an invalid, you know,” she says, as I zip up her jacket.

I smile at her. “I know. I just like helping you.”

“Where are we going anyway?”

Grabbing her hand, I lead her to the door, throwing over my shoulder, “You’ll see.”

She huffs and puffs behind me, and I have to force back my laugh.

When we walk out the back door, the snow is coming down in huge flakes. It dumped quite a bit of snow overnight, which isn’t too common this early in the year. There’s almost a foot on the ground. I came down fifteen minutes ago to turn my truck on to warm up and to brush off the thick layer of white fluff on the windshield.

I’m forced to stop when Chris suddenly halts in her tracks. When I look back, she has her head tipped back, letting snow fall on her face. She looks mesmerizing and I can’t help but watch her in awe.

“Why didn’t you tell me we got this much snow?” she asks, when she brings her head back down.

“Because I wanted it to be a surprise. Let’s go,” I tell her and give her hand a tug. She follows reluctantly, still carrying a look of yearning.

I open the passenger door and help her inside the warm truck. I walk around and climb in behind the wheel. Chris has her hands tucked between her legs and her shoulders hunched over. I turn the heater up more.

“Warm enough?” I ask.

She doesn’t look at me when she nods. I pull out of the back parking lot of Jaxon’s. It doesn’t take us long to get where we’re going. Yesterday when Jase and Bailey were here, Jase mentioned Chris has always wanted to play in the snow, but hasn’t been able to because they never got snow where they grew up. It’s about time she’s given that opportunity.

I turn down a road that leads to Mac’s property, but instead of taking a left at the fork that would take us to his house, I turn right. I ignore Chris’s questioning look.

A few minutes later when I turn the truck off, she turns to me.

“What are we doing here?” she asks.

I get out of the truck and walk around to her side and open the door. She still hasn’t unbuckled her seat belt, so I do it for her.

“We’re playing in the snow,” I tell her and grab her by the hips to pull her from the truck.

She can’t hide her excitement. It makes me feel like the king of the fucking world when she smiles the first real smile I’ve seen in what seems like forever.

I walk to the back of the truck and flip back the tarp covering the two plastic sleds. Chris doesn’t pay attention to what I’m doing. She’s currently bending down and fingering the snow with gloved-covered hands. She scoops some up and lets it fall through her fingers.

I drag the two sleds out of my truck and drop them to the ground. I grab the ropes that’re attached to them and walk over to Chris, who’s still hunched over.

“You ready to do this?” I ask her.

She stands, brushes the snow off her hands, and nods eagerly. “Yes. I’ve never done this before though.”

I lead her to the perfect hill to sleigh down. As kids, we used to always gather at Mac’s place to use his hill for sledding.

“It’s a piece of cake. You’re going to love it.”

It takes us a few minutes to reach the top because it’s so steep and walking through thick snow is tough. I drop the ropes when we reach where we need to be.

“Okay.” I turn to face her. “Want me to go first to show you how it’s done or do you want to wing it? Or we can go together.”

She chews her lip for a second, before she answers with, “Together.”

“That’s my girl.” I smile at her. “Grab your sled and put it next to mine.” She does so. “Just make sure you don’t put it too close to the edge or it’ll go before you’re ready.”

I climb on my own sled and gesture for her to do the same.

“You ready?”

She graces me with a big smile and says excitedly, “Yes!”

She looks adorable with her white winter hat over her bright red hair and her white scarf tucked into her mint-green coat. She looks cheerful and carefree. The empty look that’s hidden her pain over the last week is currently gone, something I’m thankful for. I just hope it lasts longer than just our snow play.

“Okay, just hang on to the edges and have—”

Before I get a chance to finish, she pushes herself over the edge of the hill and off she goes. I don’t follow her, too captivated by her joyful scream as she slides down the hill. She jumps on the uneven ground and bounces around. Right before she hits the bottom, the sled tips over, spilling her onto the ground. She just lies there. I can’t be sure, but it looks like she has huge smile on her face.

I push my own sled over the edge and slide down the hill. I steer it so it misses her, and tip it over so I land close to her. She turns her head and what I see has my chest tightening. Her green eyes shine so bright it almost takes my breath away.

“Was that fun?” I ask.

If it’s even possible, her smile gets bigger.

“So much fun. Let’s do it again!” she says, laughing.

She scrambles to her feet, grabs the rope, and tries her best to run up the hill. I laugh at her as she slips and slides in the snow. At a slower pace, I get up and go after her. She already has her sled on the ground and is sitting on it by the time I make it to her.

“Together this time?” I ask, with a quirk of my lips.

“Maybe,” she says, with her own smirk.

“On the count of three. One… two…” I reach over and grab her rope to hold her in place when I see mischief in her eyes. She sticks her tongue out at me, causing me to chuckle. “Three!” I yell, and let go of her rope at the same time we both push ourselves over the edge.

I laugh as she screams again. Hearing and seeing her having fun make my heart expand. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh so much. A pang hits me square in the gut when I think of all the time I’ve missed and all the times I was a dick to her.

We make it down the hill at the same time and both fall off our sleds because we’re laughing so hard. After we’re able to catch our breath, we get up and race back up the hill. We do this over and over again, always landing at the bottom of the hill in a fit of laughter. I don’t think
I’ve
laughed this hard in a long time. It feels good to let loose, especially with Chris by my side.

I roll to my side and see Chris on her side as well. She has the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face. Her cheeks are pink from the cold and the hair that’s sticking out of her hat is a damp mess. She has snow on every inch of her body. I reach over with my gloved hand and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. My finger lingers on her cheek. My eyes drop to her lips when she licks them.

I slide over in the snow until I’m right beside her. Unable to help myself, I lean forward slowly, just in case she wants me to stop, and place my lips on hers. She doesn’t protest, so I apply more pressure, until she opens up to me. Finally having her vanilla taste against my tongue again after almost two weeks is like entering heaven. I want to bottle the addicting taste so I can drink from it anytime I want.

I feel her hands at my sides and even through my clothes, it sends shivers over my body. I fit my body more over hers and brush my tongue over her lips. She moans, and I bask in the sound. Setting my hand on the other side of her head, I lean down until my chest meets hers. I don’t want to push her too far, but the taste of her is getting to me. My body is primed and ready for hers, even knowing we can’t take it any further.

I groan into her mouth when her body stiffens beneath mine. She pushes me away with her hands on my chest. I pull back and rest my forehead against hers. Our breathing is heavy and it makes me hot knowing I can still affect her so much.

Her eyes flutter open to look up at me. The sadness is back in their depths and an ache forms in my chest.

Not ready to lose the jovial attitude of a few minutes ago, I get up on my knees, make a snowball, and launch it at her. It hits her square in the chest. Her look of shock has me bursting out laughing.

“Did you really just throw a snowball at me?” she asks incredulously.

Grinning, I say, “I did, Sugar. What are you going to do about it?”

Sitting up, she looks at me with what I’m sure she’s hoping is disdain, but she doesn’t quite pull it off when I see a twinkle in her eye.

“Oh, you’re going to get it now, buster,” she says, getting to her knees.

“Buster, huh?” I taunt, getting on my own knees and backing up. I gather more snow in my hands, making sure it’s not packed too tight.

“Yes. You are so going to pay for that.”

She grabs a bunch of snow, packs it into a ball, and brings her arm back to throw it.

I drop the snowball to the ground and pick up more to make another. Casually, I tell her, “Just so you know, I was the snowball champion around these parts.”

She drops her snowball on the ground as she bends over laughing. I watch, but don’t stop making my cold weapons.

Once she’s got control of her laughter, she asks me with merriment still in her eyes, “Does that really exist? How can you become a snowball champion?”