Awakening (13 page)

I spent the rest of the morning returning phone calls and working on some marketing strategies for our new campaign. We were preparing to launch a chain of upscale convenience stores with gas stations and fresh food ideas. I had been working on the project for the last 6 months and had just been promoted to Marketing Account Manager, which meant, I not only had this project to finish, but I had inherited 17 other accounts from my predecessor.

I worked straight through lunch, not even realizing the time. Around one o'clock my dad walked into my office and sat down across from me.

"I didn't expect you to be here," he said.

"Well, where else would I be?" I asked, looking up from my paperwork.

"You took the week off to help your mother, and left so abruptly I just assumed you would be at home reflecting
, or the gym, working out your stress." He smiled.

"I didn't want to take the week off in the first place, but mom insisted she needed help. Then, the way things developed
with Luke... I just couldn't stay. I have a lot of work to do and new accounts to learn. The girls are there with Nick and Ben, so she should be alright. I'll go back to help this weekend or something."

At least if it was the weekend then Luke wouldn't be at the house.
I wanted to take my time to process what happened between us, and I didn't need him as a distraction.

"Also, while we're on the subject... Luke stopped by this morning. He tried to hide his displeasure from us when we told him you had left, but if I know anything I would say he seemed pretty upset."

"Did he say anything?"

"No. He didn't... Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Thanks though. I'm really confused and just needed time to think. It's probably best if we just leave it alone for now." My voice trailed off, tears threatening for the umpteenth time this week.

My dad leaned forward in his chair.

"What happened between you two? Did he try something?" He asked with a hint of anger in his voice.

"No! He would never."

He leaned back, relieved.

"I didn't think so, b
ut then again, you never know." He stood up and walked to the doorway before turning around again. "Caroline, I'm here if you want to talk honey. You know that right?"

"I know Dad
dy." I tried to force a smile, but I'm sure he could see right through it.

After he left I felt deflated. I couldn't concentrate on anything I was working on because thoughts of Luke kept bombarding me. I hated that I hurt him. My goal had been to free myself to move on, and now, instead of thinking about Mark every second of the day, I was thinking about Luke.

Thanks again universe.

Resigning myself to the fact that I wasn't going to get anything else done that day
, I decided to head to the gym. I really did need to burn off some steam.

~~~~

As soon as I walked in the door from the gym I called my mother.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" She asked as soon as she answered.

"Decent. Just got home from the gym. How'd it go today?"

"Well, we got the master bedroom cleaned out, but we're still working on the library. Eva and Anne Marie have been really helpful, they've even found a couple things for their store."

"I'm glad they're there," I told her. I wanted to ask her how Luke was this morning, but I didn't dare. I knew what she would say, and I really didn't want to hear it.

"Luke came by this morning..."

Sometimes I swear she can read my mind. I inhaled a deep breath and blew it out before answering her.

"I know, Dad told me."

"He walked in the door excited about his renderings and looking around the hous
e. When he noticed you weren't here it was like the light went out of him."

"Oh Mom, don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic Caroline. I could tell he was genuinely upset. By the time he left the house this afternoon he looked like he was ready to spit nails," she said. "I think upset has progressed to pissed."

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about this." I started rubbing my temples as I listened to her go on about losing Mark and how I needed to find a way to let go. It was the same conversation we'd had a million times. "Mom, can we not rehash this right now? I need to get a shower, and I need a few days to not think about Luke, please!"

"Okay then. But, I'm just trying to help." She sounded defeated.

"I know Mom, and I love you, but I'm just not in the mood right now. I'll be back on Friday and we'll talk about it, okay?" I hoped she wouldn't push it any further.

"Alright," she acquiesced.

"Mom, please don't tell Luke I'm coming," I pleaded.

"Whatever you want dear. I'll talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and was just starting up the stairs when the back door opened and my dad walked in.

"Hey, how'd you get home?" I asked, since mom had dropped him off at the office.

"I got a ride with Bill," he said
. walking over to the fridge. "I've got some steaks and potatoes. Want to have dinner with your old man?"

"Sounds great Dad, I'm just going to run go shower."

The next few days passed pretty quickly. I tried to bury myself in my work, pouring over my accounts and trying to memorize every detail of them. There were so many likes and dislikes to learn, and I wanted to familiarize myself with them as much as I could because I woul
d be trying to meet with all my clients over the next couple weeks to formally introduce myself.

Anne Marie and Eva had been calling regularly to check in. They really had been a great help to my mother in the last week and I couldn't thank them enough for staying out there without me. Neither of them seemed to mind much though, since they'd gotten to spend a lot of time with Nick and Ben.

I had tried to keep the conversations light and focused on their furniture finds and budding relationships instead of Luke, but I couldn't help asking about him. My mind had been on him night and day. I missed him, and I hated it. He had called a few times in the first two days, even though I didn't answer, but I hadn't heard from him since Tuesday and it was Friday afternoon already. I wasn't ready to talk to him, but I liked knowing he was thinking about me.

"He's been a real pain in the ass," Eva had said earlier.

"Oh yeah?" I had asked trying to seem a little disinterested, although I was trying to telepathically convince her to continue.

"Yeah, keeps asking if we've talked to you, but neither Marie nor I will tell him anything. We have just said that you were fine, back at work, and doing your normal thing. He doesn't seem to like that though. I think his patience is wearing thin."

"Well, I don't know what he could possibly expect from me," I had said to her.

"I can think of one thing," Eva had said.

"What's that?"

"An explanation as to why you disappeared without even telling him."

So, as I drove toward Bluffton, I contemplated whether I should try to talk to him this weekend, or just leave it alone. I really wanted to take it a step at a time, see where the weekend led me, and follow my gut. Although, look where that had gotten me so far. The memory of the night I spent with Luke was burned into my brain. I kept reliving it over and over in my mind. The way he felt, the way he smelled, his touch. I got warm just thinking about it. But, there were two things I still needed to square away in my brain. Could I honestly build a relationship with Mark's brother? Would I ever really be able to let go of Mark completely in order to love someone else with all of my heart?

As I drove up the driveway, I saw the doe peek out of the woods again. I slowed my car to a stop as I watched her looking around. Her ears twitched and perked up at the sound of my tires on the gravel. As she darted back into the trees, I noticed something etched into one of the trunks.

I pulled forward a bit so I could get a better look. It was an arrow, pointing into the woods. I shifted the car into park and climbed out, walking over to the tree. I ran my hands over the arrow, smiling as a memory rushed back to me.
Luke's fort.

Luke, Mark and I had spent a ton of time out there after we met
. Luke had carved the arrows so I wouldn't get lost going to and from my grandmother's house. I walked into the woods in the direction the arrow was pointing. Along the route I passed several more arrows. Eventually I ran across another trail that led off towards Luke's house. The path seemed more well-worn and I wondered if Luke still spent time out here.

I picked up my pace as I realized I was nearing my destination. I marveled at how it seemed nothing had changed here. Up ahead the path seemed to dead end into
tree limbs. I pulled back a thin veil of kudzu, and slipped through into the clearing. There was one large live oak tree in the center. It's limbs were so heavy that they dragged the ground, creating a sanctuary of sorts under its canopy. The kudzu was so thick in the branches that it created a wall around the tree, with just the one way in and out.

Straight ahead
in the trunk was an etching. My smile grew as I approached. Carved into the tree was the shape of a heart and inside it said LUKE + SAV'H. I ran my hands over the words, remembering the day Luke had cut our names into the tree. I might have been eleven or twelve then, and the two of us had vowed to be best friends forever.

A branch snapped and the hair on the back of my neck rose as I looked around the clearing. A moment later the vines at the entrance moved aside and a dark head ducked through. I took two steps back, gasping as a familiar tingling sensation took over my body. My pulse raced as I waited for him to notice me. When he did, he paused, his intensely green eyes boring a hole into mine.

God, he looked good enough to eat. His dark jeans hugged his thighs and his black tee shirt was fitted across his chest and upper arms, accentuating his muscular form. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, and trying to still my racing heart. When I felt calm enough to open my eyes again, he was still staring at me, but he had crossed his arms and was standing with his feet apart, seemingly waiting for me to say something first.

I swallowed hard as I tried to think of something to say. I hadn't planned on seeing him at all this weekend, or even telling him I was here. Now it seemed I was going to have to deal with him before I was ready.

"Hey Luke," was all I could manage.

"Caroline," he said, and nodded at me.

I guessed that it was as good a time as any to explain myself.

"I'm really sorry about last weekend. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have put
us in such an awkward situation. And..." I couldn't think of what to say next.

He was looking at me, waiting for me to finis
h my sentence.  "I'm sorry if I made things even more difficult between us."

I looked up at Luke, who was now crossing the clearing towards me, his long legs covering the ground quickly. When he reached me he slowly raised his hand to cup my cheek, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch. I closed my eyes briefly at the warmth of his fingers against my flesh. When I opened them, he was looking right at me.

"Caroline, I don't want you to regret one moment we spent together last weekend. I don't, and I wouldn't trade the time we've had for anything in the world. At the cabin you told me what you needed and I wanted to be the one to give it to you. Lord knows I wasn't going to let you go find some other guy. I can't imagine anyone else touching you like that. I made the decision myself, you didn't force me." The sincerity in his eyes was heart wrenching.  "Listen, I know this is all unexpected, and the fact that I am Mark's brother is a hurdle for you, but you can't just expect me to let you walk out of my life again."

I felt like crying. I was so overwhelmed by my jumbled emotions and by the feelings his presence always evoked. My body was humming from his proximity, but my heart felt
heavy. I wanted so badly to just let go of the past and move forward. But how could I be with one man while I was still dreaming of another?

"Luke, I'm just not ready for whatever this is," I said.

"I'm not asking for anything right now Caroline. I don't want empty promises or false declarations of love. Just let me spend some time with you. I've missed your smile and your laughter. I need them to breathe. Please Caroline, all I'm asking you for is a chance."

I thought about what Carson had said, to give ourselves a chance to get to know each other, and in that moment I knew I couldn't have denied Luke if I wanted to.

"Okay Luke, but it has to be on my terms. No more sex, alright? I need to figure out what I want and I need to do it with a clear head."

"Whatever you say Savannah, I can wait until you are ready," he said with a sexy grin, lowering his hand to his side.

He had no idea what that smile did to my insides. I knew it would be hard to spend time with Luke and not think about his touch and how our bodies moved together in the heat of passion, but I needed to focus on myself.

"Are you staying all weekend?" He asked.

"I'll probably leave sometime Sunday morning. I need to get my things ready for work on Monday and catch up on some e-mails."

"Can I make dinner for you tonight?"

"Luke, my mother is at the house and I know she needs help with some things. Anne Marie and Eva will most likely be with Nick and Ben tonight. I think I should just hang out at the house."

"Bring your mother. I'll see you at
seven."

He leaned into me, kissed my cheek
, and had disappeared back through the curtain of kudzu before I could even respond.

~~~~

Pulling up to the house I could see that the front door was still boarded up. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and walked toward the back of the house. As soon as I stepped onto the porch Tomcat came out from his hiding place underneath and meowed at me.

"Hey buddy," I said to him, leaning down to pet his back. "Did you miss me?" He meowed again as I opened the door, and ran into the house, disappearing around a corner. I shook my head as I sat my bag down on the counter.

"Caroline! You're back!" My mother said, coming into the kitchen and giving me a hug. "How was the drive over?"

"It was good. The bridge was backed up as usual, but not as bad as I've seen it some days. How's it going here?"

"Great, we're still working on the library. There are just so many books to go through. I've decided I'm going to have someone from the local library come by and see if they want any of them. I don't know what else to do with them." She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and opened the fridge to get some water.

"Are Anne Marie or Eva here?"

"Yes, they are both in there," she replied, nodding toward the library.

"Okay, I'll go see what I can do to help. Oh, and Mom? I ended up running into Luke on the way to the house." She eyed me expectantly. " I know I didn't plan on talking to him yet, but when I saw him... I think we've worked it out for now. Anyway, he asked us over for dinner tonight. Is that okay, or did you have other plans?"

"Honey, maybe you should go without me."

That was the last thing I needed, to be alone with Luke.

"Mom, please. If you don't want to go, then I'm not going either," I told her. I knew she wanted me to spend time with Luke, but I wasn't about to spend time with him alone, especially not within a certain proximity to any horizontal surfaces. At least not until I figured out what I wanted.

"Fine honey, I'll go," she relented with a sigh, but I could see the slight hint of a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. "I hope he can cook, I'm starving!"

"He said to be there at 7." I smiled at her before walking down the hallway to the library. "Hey ladies!" I said, walking into the room. "What can I do to help?"

After Eva and Anne Marie got me started on sorting books into categories they started to tell me about the week they'd spent out here without me.

"Ben is so dreamy. I can't imagine how I ever lived without him," Anne Marie said, smiling.

"Marie, you have only known him for a week," Eva snarled.

"Come on Eva, you and I have always known that Anne Marie would meet some guy and fall instantly in love. Now that it's finally happened, let's not pretend we didn't expect it all along," I told her as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Thank you Caroline!" Anne Marie beamed.

"How are things with Nick?" I asked.

"Fine I guess," Eva said, but didn't sound very convincing.

"Uh oh. What's going on with that?" I asked.

"Nothing really. I just think maybe I need some space to sort out my feelings. He wants to move forward and wants me to be all exclusive with him, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. You know how I am, I've never been a one man kinda girl," Eva explained.

"Does that mean you aren't going to stay with Nick tonight?" Anne Marie asked.

"No Marie, it doesn't mean that. I have my needs and they must be met. I just might need a break for a few days afterwards is all."

"You can always come back to Savannah with me this week.  I could use some girl time too," I told her.

"That might be just the medicine I need," Eva said. "Maybe we can go out to
Deuces
and get some drinks."

I laughed. It was just like Eva to want to go out and get drinks and meet some random guy.
Maybe getting out would be good for both of us.

~~~~

When my mother and I pulled the Explorer up to Luke's it was seven o'clock on the dot. I rang the doorbell and as we were waiting on the porch, I could hear footsteps coming toward the door. When it opened and Luke smiled at me I felt a little faint.

"Ladies, please, come in," Luke said,
waving his arm to gesture us inside.

"Something smells delicious," my mother observed as she followed me back towards the great room.

"I hope you like lamb chops. I've been slaving over them for hours."

I turned to see Luke wink at my mother before flashing her his dashing grin.

"I'm looking forward to it!" She exclaimed.

"May I offer either of you some wine?" Luke asked.

"I would love some," I told him.