Awakening (23 page)

He turned me in his lap so I was facing away from him and planted scalding hot kisses across my back. Then grasping my hair, he pulled my head back so he could assault my mouth again. He moved one of my legs to either side of his knees, spreading me wide. In one fluid motion, he had pulled down his boxers enough to allow his rigid shaft to spring free
, and thrust inside me, drawing moans from deep within us both.

With one hand on my waist he lifted me up and down as he reached to massage my clit with the other. I cried out at his aggressive handling, but I felt glorious, already heading for the edge of sanity. He continued to plunge into me over and over, pushing me higher and higher. At last, he drove into me, filling me completely and sending me soaring as he groaned with the strength of his own release. He again, pulled my hair, but this time more gently, and placed soft kisses on my lips.

"God I need you," he groaned into my hair so I could hear the raw emotion in his voice. "I need you more than I need my next breath."

I let him pick me up and carry me to his bed. Light was already creeping into the sky, and I wanted him to hold me for a little while longer before the morning intruded.

Tomcat nuzzled me awake, purring and begging me to pet him. As I opened my eyes the sunlight streamed in. It must be late morning by now. Luke wasn't in the bed. I looked at the clock on the bedside table, 9:13. I stretched and Tomcat jumped off the bed. I tugged Luke's shirt down and padded down the stairs. When I walked into the kitchen, Luke was there.

"Hey beautiful," he said with a beaming smile.

"Hey yourself," I said back, pausing to kiss him briefly. Then, noticing he was dressed already I asked, "Going somewhere?"

"Heading in to the office for a couple meetings this morning. Then I need to swing by your grandmother's and make sure everything there is coming along. I should be back around two. Would you like to have a late lunch?"

My stomach growled, I would definitely have to eat before then. Maybe I would call
Eva and Anne Marie to pick me up for breakfast.

"Sounds great," I said
, smiling.

"Oh, one more thing." He walked out into the hallway and came back a couple minutes later. "This was on the hood of my truck when I went out for the paper this morning."

He handed me a plastic grocery bag that had an envelope with my name on it stapled to the outside. I recognized Anne Marie's handwriting.

Hey Caroline,

I heard you left the party abruptly last night with some tall, dark, and handsome guy, who I could only assume was Luke. Thought you might need these!

XOXO,

Anne Marie

Inside the bag was a pair of
athletic shorts, a t-shirt, sports bra and a pair of flip-flops.

"What is it?" Luke inquired.

"Anne Marie heard I might be here, so she dropped off some clothes. Word travels fast around here, huh?" I smiled.

He came around the kitchen island and put his arms around me. "Thank you for last night. It was amazing. You are amazing.
Thank you for understanding about Mark and for not holding it against me." He leaned down and kissed me slowly, lovingly. I could feel my pulse quicken as he cupped the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. When he pulled back, my breathing was ragged. It was amazing how much his mere presence affected me.

"Make yourself at home, I made some coffee, and there's creamer in the fridge. I'll be back soon," he smiled and swatted my naked backside as he went down the hallway and out the door with a piece of toast between his teeth.

I breathed out, trying to calm my racing heart. My clutch was on the island by the bar stool I had briefly occupied the night before. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Eva's number.

"Caroline?" Eva answered sleepily, "What time is it?"

"Almost 9:45 sleepy head. Rough night?" I asked her.

"Mmmm."

"Listen, do you think you could pick me up from Luke's and take me to get some breakfast? I'm starving!"

Eva was wide awake now. "Wait, what? You
're at Luke's?"

"Yes! How did Anne Marie know, and you didn't?"

"Well, I stayed with Nick and she stayed with your parents, so..."

I smirked at the phone. "You mean you and Nick have been so busy in the bed that you haven't been able to think about anything else except the next time you're going to get to undress him?"

"Caroline!" Eva busted out laughing. "That is so unlike you to say! I don't know what's gotten into you, but I think I like it."

"I'll tell you what's gotten into me... He's about six foot four
, with dark hair, and piercing green eyes," I laughed.

"Ooh! I can't wait to hear all about it! Alright, I'll borrow Nick's truck, but I need to shower so it might be an hour or so."

Once I hung up with Eva I called my office to tell them I wasn't coming in that day, and made one last call to Mr. Houston's office to schedule a meeting for the following week. Once I hung up, I put the phone down on the counter, picked up the clothes Anne Marie had brought over, and ran upstairs to shower and change.

As I was walking back down the stairs I saw a shadow moving on the porch. Thinking Eva had arrived early I opened the door.

"That was fast," I said.

Blue eyes stared back at me, but they weren't Eva's. I recognized this girl from the bar
the first week I was here. Luke's ex-girlfriend. Tessa, I think her name was. I crossed my arms and leaned on the door frame.

"Can I help you?" I asked her, preparing myself for her attack.

"Are you Caroline?" She asked me.

"So what if I am?" I challenged.

"Look, I'm not here to start anything. My name is Tessa James. Luke and I dated when he first moved to town. I'm sorry about the other night in the bar."

Tessa looked down at her hands, they were trembling. I felt like there was something else she wanted to say.

"Would you like some coffee?"

She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. "That would be lovely, thank you."

As we settled in the kitchen I searched for coffee mugs, which Luke usually had out already. Tessa sat quietly at the breakfast bar, watching me look around.

"You wouldn't happen to know where Luke keeps the coffee mugs would you?" I asked her.

"They're in the third cabinet over from the fridge. Top shelf."

She smiled and I noticed how it softened her face. She was a pretty girl, but she looked like she had led a rough life.

"I'd never met anyone like Luke," she started, as I poured coffee in the mugs. "One day this town was the same and then the day I met him everything changed. He was like a breath of fresh air to me. Someone I could pin my hopes and dreams to."

I understood that. Everything changed for me the moment I saw him too. I nodded to her,
prompting her to continue.

"He told me when we met that his heart belonged to someone else. I assumed if I treated him well enough and loved him well enough that I
could change that and make him fall in love with me. I know what you might have heard about me. Amanda, the bar tender at The Back Porch, she spreads all sorts of stories about everybody. But I guarantee whatever she told you, it's not true."

"So
you didn't try to trap Luke into a loveless marriage by pretending your were pregnant? It did sound a little despicable when she told me that."

"Actually, no," she laughed.
"Luke and I dated for quite a while before I fell in love with him. When we met he was so angry, brooding, and uncontrollable. That lasted for about a year before his brother died. After the funeral, he was so distraught, he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. He kept talking about how everything was his fault."

She paused to take a breath and I stared at her wordlessly, willing her to continue.

"I couldn't do anything other than sit and listen to him. I listened and listened and listened. Then one day he started acting like the Luke I always knew was in there. He was kind, considerate, affectionate even... After a while, I thought certainly he felt the same about me as I felt about him. So one night at my place, after we had, well... you know. I told him that I loved him. He had rolled over and put his pants back on. Then he sat beside me while I cried and told me how he'd met the love of his life when he was a kid."

I looked at Tessa, silently questioning what she was trying to say.

"He told me her name was Caroline and said he thought about her often and hoped she would walk back into his life eventually."

I was reeling. I could not believe what this girl was telling me. Luke
had seriously been waiting for me to show up again? He had told me that in passing, but hearing it from someone else was unbelievable.

"One day, a week or so later," she continued, "I saw him with this beautiful dark headed girl in
the bar. They were laughing and having a blast. I felt like he had stabbed me right through the heart, making up a story about this "Caroline" in order to let me down easy, and meanwhile he was picking up other women. I couldn't stand the thought of him with anyone but me. I was bitter, heart-broken, and couldn't believe he was pretending to be hanging on to some memory of a girl who may or may not ever come back into his life. I confronted him, but it didn't end well. It turns out, the dark headed girl was his sister.

"Then, the other night, I walked in and saw him kissing you. Kissing you in a way he never kissed me. The jealousy came raging back and I snapped. Once he got me outside he told me who you were. I couldn't believe I had made a fool of myself over him again, and much less, that you were actually the girl he'd been
dreaming about. So I had to come out here and see. I waited down the road until I saw him leave for work and then I drove up."

I stood and
looked at Tessa, incredulous, and began pacing the kitchen. If what she was saying was true, then she had helped Luke get back to being the person he was way back when I met him, the man he was now. She had told me that I was what Luke wanted, even before I showed back up in his life. Could I truly be enough to make him happy for the rest of his life?

"How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't really. This is the third day in a row that I've waited for him to leave and rang the doorbell."

I looked from Tessa to the river and suddenly I was overwhelmed with memories of Luke and me
as kids. Canoeing the river, he stood on a dare and we both fell in, we laughed until our sides hurt trying to get back into the canoe. Digging for clams, my shoe getting stuck in the mud and Luke digging it out, both of us covered from head to toe by the time we got home. His laugh, his smile, his fingers linked through mine as we walked. And more recently, Luke taking me to the sandbar, racing back through the rain, his body and his eyes on me. Last night he had unleashed a woman I didn't know existed inside of me. I already knew I loved him, I just needed to tell him. Through all of my pushing him away and trying to get him out of my system he had continued to invade my thoughts, planting himself solidly in my heart.

The doorbell rang, bringing me back to reality. I ran down the hall to find Eva waiting for me.

"Eva!" I hugged her, a little giddy. "Come on in."

Eva followed me into the kitchen.
Tessa was still seated at the bar.

"Eva, this is Tessa James. Tessa, Eva Williams."

Eva looked at Tessa skeptically. "Nice to meet you?"

Tessa laughed at Eva's tone. "Sorry about the other night. You'll have to get Caroline to fill you in." Tessa smiled and Eva returned it, though
it didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Tessa, thank you so much for coming by. You have been more help than you'll ever know," I told her and hugged her tightly. When I released her she looked at me as if I was crazy, but laughed.

~~~~

The Breakfast Place was pretty slow, but considering I was starving, I was thankful. I called An
ne Marie and she wasted no time getting there before us and ordering coffee while she waited.

"So!
How was last night?" She asked excitedly, as Eva and I slid into the booth opposite her.

"It was... good," I said, deliberately withholding all the details I knew she was waiting for until after the waitress had taken our orders.

"Good? Come on! Your mom told me all about your dress and how Luke almost beat that loser Darren off of you. The two of you danced and left in a hurry. SO?"

I laughed as I filled them in on my night. Leaving off at the point when Luke and I got back to his place.

"Damn girl, he must like you a lot," Eva said. "Crashing the party like that and dragging you back to his house to have his way with you. I'm getting warm just thinking about it."

I laughed.

"The best part came in the middle of the night. I woke up to use the bathroom and get something to drink. I went out on the porch and was just sitting there thinking when Luke joined me. He told me how he blamed himself for Mark's death."

I stopped to gauge their reactions.

"What? Why?" Anne Marie asked.

"Let her finish, Marie," Eva said.

"Luke wanted to be with me years ago but he never told Mark or me. If he had, chances are I would have been with him this whole time and Mark never would have been driving to Athens that day."

"What is so great about that? It sounds terrible," said Anne Marie.

"Marie! Let. Her. Finish!"

"Well, as he was talking about how he blamed himself I realized that I was blaming myself too. This whole time I've been wondering if I could have done something differently to affect the outcome
and feeling guilty about all the choices I made that led to Mark's death. When Luke started saying some of the same things I had been thinking I heard how ridiculous it sounded and I realized that I needed to let go of the guilt, and Luke did too. I finally feel weightless; free to move on."

"Awe, Caroline, that is so wonderful! Have you told Luke?"

"Not yet. I still need to figure some things out. He is Mark's brother after all and it seems his mother will never like me. I need to come to terms with that. I just don't want Luke to have to choose between his mother and me. I need to be okay with the whole situation and make sure he is too, before I can fully commit to him."