Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage #1) (42 page)

The sky opens and splendidly blue calls to her, the freedom of flight is her only desire. Walking out under this open sky, Amber feels the soft grass between her bare toes. Her nakedness glorious under the beauty of the sunlight. As she walks, the change taking hold in a moment of glory, she can feel the beautiful burning within her. Her long red hair swirling around her in the breeze, the image of the fires that created her. She soars through the clouds, watching the world below passing by in an instant. She speeds through the air, understanding freedom at last.

Her beauty in this form, beyond reality. She is embracing the mythical and the ethereal and becoming something far too precious for this world. Amber is a creature of that other place. The other planet, where he came from. The Eden of creation. She knows she must be careful, she should not exist. She can't blend into this world as the other shifters do. Her spirit is far more filled with the other home, the other place. Her blood far less human than the others. The glory of her change overwhelming her senses. The sensation of flight spectacular and full of euphoria. This is freedom, this is pleasure, this and James lying beside her in their bed. He grounds her, helps her hold onto this reality.

She must maintain her connection to him, to the love she holds within, to his importance to her happiness, to her future. She refuses to let go of that part of herself. She has to remember, despite the temptations of this new world. James is her world, not this splendid experience. Without him, she could easily allow herself to transcend all of this humanity and indulge in the pleasures of what lies beyond. He and Allie are her only reasons for continuing the quest, she is beginning to understand how difficult it will be to fight the promises of her power, and stay grounded in her earthly world. She doesn't yet know what her purpose is...who her friends are... or who the enemy is. She hopes the awakening of all this power in her will provide some of the answers they have so desperately been seeking.

She thinks of how dancing feels similar to flight, how neither really touches the pleasure of making love with James and how intensely her love for him still burns even in her primal form. Perhaps this freedom is not that splendid after all if it doesn't come complete with the whole package. It's merely another layer of the perfection that her life has become, another pleasure for her to experience to make up for all the torment of the past. She takes it all in feeling exhilarated.

She has it all, she feels the realization come over her like a wave, she has nothing to struggle with, nothing to fear. She has everything she could ever want. Amber is becoming a spectacular creature of dreams, she has love like no one else could even imagine and she has real friends, who believe in her. She lands in the garden returning to her human state. The breeze tickling her as the fires within fade to a subtle warmth. The only thing missing are the answers she hoped to find.

Again she wakes in bed, unsure if any of what she experienced actually happened. She turns to her man, still sleeping off the pain and stress of the day before, she kisses him as he begins to wake, she pushes him onto his back mounting him, straddling his thighs. As he begins to come back to reality, he grabs hold of her pulling her in close. He draws her near to kiss him and the disbelief, rage and fear from the events of the previous evening flood out of him. The release is far more than sexual as they collapsed into a heap on the bed. Mental exhaustion, pain and the burning love they feel for each other consuming them entirely. They hear the pounding on the door, but neither is willing to break the spell of their isolation. The world outside is going to have to wait.

They make love again and again, reveling in the pleasure of each other’s warmth, the perfection of their love, their need, culminating in a day of passion, relaxation and acceptance. They speak little of the accident, but she tells him of the dreams, the way she feels flying free, of her hope for the possibility she may actually have the ability to become this dream creature. They speak of her power to heal, to feel life's energy. They speak of their plans for the future and how he will take her for what she is, no matter what that may be. He promises to love her as long as she wants him too, he can make her happy no matter what struggles they come to face.

"They have been pushing, forcing their way into our lives, They've manipulated this change upon me. Whether it is the Father's side or theirs that's been trying to kill me isn't entirely certain. Either is certainly capable of putting the needs of the many over the desires of the one. She has begun to suspect many of the deeds credited to the dark Father figure may have actually been perpetuated by those of the Circle. It seems to her it's in their best interest and not the Father's that she takes on the powers within her."

Though she was initially swayed, albeit temporarily, by their passionate arguments from the evening before, she feels sure now she has been manipulated, she was lured there only so they could set up the accident and her awakening. She sees the excitement that was in their eyes and their conversations now for what it was. They all knew what was coming and they were sure they could secure her for their cause. She fell right into their hands. She wonders how much Rissa knows of their deceptions.

Perhaps trusting in Rissa is a judgement that will need more consideration. She can reserve that determination for later; as of now, she trusts only James and Allie. She won't claim one side or the other until she knows what both factions are up to. She is determined to make her own path through the darkness and find what light remains on the other side. There has to be something she's missing that can put some of these pieces into place. How can she know so much and understand so little.

The Circle is playing their hand too loose, and she is seeing every card clearly. They aren't quite as clever as they think. Why would the deity she intends to kill want to elevate her into her full power, why would he desire her at full strength if he knows her intention is war. The cat woman that attacked James hadn't admitted who sent her, they only assumed it was him. It could just as easily have been a member of the circle; watching, waiting and pushing her to their desired end. They are the manipulators. It hasn't gotten past her perception that they criticize humanity for creating a God to explain away what they don't want to see, where the Circle claims to believe in a higher power under the exact same circumstances. Hypocrites and liars don't make great team mates.

She takes off the pendant resting it on the dresser, she won't wear the symbol of a society that neither understands her, cares for her, or plays honestly with her. She has known churches before and seen the crooked face of manipulation. The business end far more important than the actuality of saving and serving those in need. The circle seems now to be nothing more than another organization bent on creating a desired result. She has begun to wonder if that result is as pure as they want it to seem. With a deeper clarity she can now see their words. They don't really want to stay on earth, but are unsure they will be saved from it. If they are stuck here they want to enjoy all that it has to offer, they speak words of compassion and freedom for human kind, but haven't really foreseen a bright future for the lesser species no matter what. Though they want to save the world from the hand of the Father, they have other intentions when he has gone. They are afraid they are going to be left behind. They hope to have power over everyone and everything.

Amber wonders if without the Father humanity might be weaker, will no longer have the protection of the deity that both watches over and destroys them. The circle will probably step in after he is gone and either control, or destroy what remains of the human population. They will inherit the earth. And within her is born a seed of doubt and of fury that will grow as each answer, each discovery confirms her dark suspicions. They may think her a servant to their cause, but she will serve no one and she will bring the truth to light. She will peel back the veils one by one, to see the whole picture, James doesn't have the experiences and perceptions she has, but all of what she is saying makes perfect sense to him. He can see how she might see both sides of the game as the enemy. He cautions her to go slowly, to hold her beliefs close to her chest. He is a man of patience and persistence.

"Don't reveal yourself too soon, they have eyes everywhere...we aren't sure who to trust yet. I will help as much as I can. I'm so sorry you have to be involved in such a messy world. You deserve so much more than this. Perhaps someday you will get to experience heaven, and peace."

She looks at him putting her hand on his cheek. "I experience heaven everyday that I'm with you and peace every moment I spend in your arms. You are my reward, you are my reason. I will take all of this mess, for the love that we share, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"
You have turned out beautifully
," he whispers completely catching her off guard. She didn't feel anything to warn her of his presence, when she looks up she is stunned by the phenomenal brown eyes looking deep into her. She knows who he is, without a moment's hesitation. She never expected to see him, here in the coffee shop, in her normal world. She is knocked completely off balance. She can't breathe, or focus, can only stare at him, he is spectacular.

His features, this body, though fantastic, is only cloaking over the true being. His presence a glowing ember of overwhelming sensation. he is the visage of power, beyond understanding, beyond imagination, beyond the boundaries of this universe. He truly is what she would imagine a God to be, standing before her, gazing deep into her eyes.

"I know you are confused child, you are newly born into your world. I know there are many influences pushing you every which way. This is the only chance you will have to speak with me. I am here for only a short while. You won't make a move against me, not here and not now. So just sit and hear me."

"You have heard what others want of you, you have felt a wild array of feelings and have sought alliances on every side, and yet you know nothing! How can you know, for knowing implies there is a single truth to be had. Never forget the true rules of the game, daughter; the only truth that you have always believed. There is no reality, only perception. What reality will you choose? What will you make of this new world you have at your fingertips."

If you are looking for a battle of good versus evil with clear lines drawn in black and white, you won't find them. There are many things happening that are not connected and many versions of the truth you're seeking. Not every monster is a foaming and terrifying beast and not every angel is pristine and pure. You're walking dangerous roads, young one. Roads that lead to nowhere. He kisses her on the top of her forehead, walking out the door. She follows but he's gone in a flash. She feels the energy, the beam of light pulling him skyward. The clouds evaporating under the powerful static. The disturbance shattering the balance in the air. For over an hour she stays there listening and tuning in to the vibrations of the other world, the place she will never get to know. It pulls at her, tempting and tantalizing her.

She doesn't understand what she's feeling. Confusion, doubt and hundreds of questions rage through her mind. She's not even sure what she ought to do next. Walking back into the store, Amber finishes out the day, chatting with Rissa as if nothing different is happening. She wants to go home and walk with her dog; pretend to get back to normal. Amber wants to make a fantastic dinner and go for a swim in her pool, to forget there are monsters. She needs to forget the perfect spirit she touched this afternoon is supposed to be evil and dangerous and an undeniable force of destruction. How is she supposed to reconcile that something so beautiful can also be so terrible? She can't deny the things she has seen, but also knows what he has done to those innocent women and so many others. She wants to see in black and white, where only shades of grey exist.

She can still feel his touch, his tenderness. What kind of world does she live in? Shouldn't the creator of it all be unwilling to knock down the blocks that support the weight of his design? But then he isn't the creator of it all is he? Shouldn't there be a clear line between what is true and what isn't, what is good and what is evil? How can every creature hold so much of both? What action is the right one... there is no clear result no matter what she might choose? She only knows in this moment she likes the Father far more than she likes the members of the Circle.

Amber finds herself struggling, her mind can't find any solid ground to stand on. She trusts little of what she seemingly "knows" nothing seems real to her anymore. She has no clear delineation between dreaming and waking, she doesn't know who to trust. Everything seems to be spiraling out of control, a wild whirlwind swirling around her, just waiting for her to stop struggling against it. She thinks Somehow there must be a way to stop the wind, though she doesn't see the answer clearly, there must be some way to seek out the calm. She must find the eye of the storm, become the center of it all, the place where safety can be found even if only for an instant. She knows where that place is, for her at least. The quiet within, the calm that lulls her into believing everything is all right. She runs home slamming the door shut behind her, latching it against whatever might be out there. They can have their wars, their disagreements and their moralities. She wants to be left alone.