Awakening (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #3) (7 page)

"I'm sorry, Nikolaus.  I shouldn't have even tried.  I'm just used to doing it with Stefan." I unfolded myself from the chair and moved to sit beside him on the couch.  He wrapped his heavily tattooed arm around my shoulder and drew me to him.

"S'ok, Josie.  We have a lot to learn about each other."

That was the understatement of the year.  I had a laundry list of things I needed to mentally sort through.  I could easily add getting to know my brother to the list.

"That we do. " I rested my head against his arm.  "She was the last one that was able to..."

"Read my mind?  Yeah.  I could never lie to Mom.  Not that I had reason to then, but Mom always knew." Nikolaus smiled softly as he finished my thought.  It quickly faded into a scowl.

"Our Mom was the best liar of us all.  She kept all of Kian's secrets, Josie.  Even the ones that hurt her the most."

"Nik.." I began.

He raised his hand to stop me.  "Josie, it doesn't hurt to talk about her so much anymore.  I've had 28 years to come to terms with it.  You need to know what she was like.  She was your mother too."

His voice was harsh and strained.  He was bitter and it showed, from the tension in his shoulders to the razor-sharp bite of his words.  He rubbed his free hand against the worn denim of his jeans, his long elegant fingers sliding over the material.  I studied the sleeve of tattoos on his arm.  A bright, orange dragon was coiled around vibrant flowers that varied from blues to yellows.  In sharp contrast, a deep purplish-red bird rose from the claw of the dragon.  Its glaring difference stood out in the sea of colors.  I reached out to trace the bird on his arm with my fingers.

"I still have to come to terms with it.  I find out my father abandoned me to our uncle after killing our mother.  That's going to take a while to wrap my mind around," I muttered sarcastically, not looking up from his arm.

"Go back for a minute.  Our uncle?" Nikolaus questioned.  He pulled his arm away from my curious fingers.  "You lost me."

"Hold on.  I have something for you to read."  His tattoos forgotten, I jumped up from the couch and hurried down the hallway to our bedroom.  Garrett's book on Napoleon was still on the dresser with the note still inside.  Grabbing it, I rushed back into the living room, plopping back down next to my brother.  I carefully extracted the note from the middle of the book and held it out to him.

He eyed the folded letter suspiciously, his gaze flickering between my hand and the note.  He didn’t make any attempt to move.

"What's that?"

"Dammit, Nikolaus.  It's a letter, not a grenade.  Just read it." I fought to keep the exasperation out of my voice.  I couldn't help remembering my own reluctance to read this very piece of paper and had to fight the smile.  We were definitely related.

He snatched the letter from my hands, unfolding it carefully.  His green eyes scanned the length of the paper, finishing quickly.  He refolded it, balancing it on his leg.  His eyes appeared to be out of focus, trained on a spot on the wall.

"Our uncle wrote this letter to you 15 years ago, even though he'd been threatened not to tell you anything.  Not to mention he had our asshole of a father figured out,"  Nikolaus muttered more to himself than me.  "Exactly how and when did he die?"

The bluntness of his question was shocking.  I found myself instantly being transported back in time to when my adoptive parents died: a frantic late night phone call, a unclear memory of a car ride to the hospital.  Watching their caskets being lowered into the ground and the overwhelming knowledge that I was totally alone rushed over me like it was yesterday.  When I spoke, I sounded far away and haunted.  "Four years ago.  Our aunt and uncle died in a car accident.  My dad, I mean Garrett, ran off the road and hit a tree.  They were both killed instantly."

An uneasy stillness hung between us.  Nikolaus eyes burned like green fire, his mouth tightening into a frown.  "You know it was no accident, right?  This has Kian written all over it.  Jesus, I hate that fucking bastard.  First he killed our mother, then our uncle.  No one is safe."

Sinking deeper into the couch, I was shocked into a stunned silence.  Kian wouldn't sink that low, would he?  Surely he didn't kill Garrett and Meredith.  He wouldn't.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth.  "Don’t be naïve.  Hell yes he would, Josie.  I'd be fucking shocked if he wasn't behind it.  You'd be much easier to approach without a parental figure around that you trusted and that hated him out of the way.  Our father just didn't bank on Stefan finding you so soon.”

"First, the same rules apply.  Don't pick through my head.  Second, why wouldn't Stefan find me?  He'd been close before.  He told me he only missed me by two days once before."

"Kian has kept Stefan occupied on a revolving door of 'assignments', most of them involving the recently departed douche bag Derek.  Anytime Stefan would come close to finding you, he'd send Stefan off to do some manufactured dirty work.  If it wasn't so evil, his plan would be fucking beautiful."  Nikolaus stood and walked to the windows.  He stared into the distance, shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.  “It’s just a matter of time until we’re next.  We know too much.”

My brow creased in disbelief.  Obviously I’d misunderstood what he said.  "Manufactured dirty work?  You don't mean..."

Nikolaus laughed dryly. "That Kian brought false charges on vampires so Stefan would be preoccupied in carrying out his assigned job versus finding you?  Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"But how do you know?" I asked reluctantly.  Part of me didn't want to know.

"Let's just say I went on a fishing expedition while you were gone, spending my time picking through various vampire brains.  It was informative.  Disgustingly slimy, but surprisingly informative."

Rubbing my forehead with the heel of my palm, I rehashed out our conversation.  Fear, anger and outrage all fought for dominance as the pieces slid into place.  "He sent Derek to Bali, didn't he?  Derek said he was sent to retrieve me.  Anna just happened to be in the wrong place."

Nikolaus shrugged and turned his head to glance at me.  "Probably.  I don't know for sure.  I haven't seen Kian since you left for Bali."

So Kian had secluded himself for at least a week.  As slithery and sneaky as a snake, I had vivid mental pictures of what he could be planning.  I’m sure he was regrouping, finding another willing lackey to come after me next.

"Shit."  The full extent of Kian's evilness was overwhelming.  The truth of the matter is there wasn't much he wouldn't do.

My brother swiveled to face me.  His stubble covered face was just similar enough to mine to still surprise me.  "No, there's nothing he wouldn't do.  But here are the positives.  You know the facts and understand better what he's capable of doing.  That’s better than going into this blind."

Smiling weakly, I hugged my arms around myself tightly.  "That doesn't make me feel better."

"It's not supposed to make you feel better, Josie.  It's supposed to give you the power to control who fucks with you and how you can obtain the upper hand."

I leaned forward and cradled my head in my hands.  My head was swimming from all the information I'd gleaned from Nikolaus.  I’d been hoping for a pleasant conversation.  Instead it was all about planning, scheming and power struggles.

"It's probably a good thing I'm with a master at getting the upper hand." I looked up to see Nikolaus grin widely.  He clapped his hands together, rubbing them together animatedly.

"I like the way you think.  Stefan will do anything to protect you.  If Kian comes after you, he’s a dead man." He snorted at his own play on words.  "Well, he'll be really dead."

"Nikolaus, Kian will come after Stefan.  If he follows his usual MO, he'll try to eliminate the biggest threat first," I said in a rush. "And that would be Stefan.  I won't put him at risk."

"He's almost 1,000 years old, Josie.  I doubt Kian scares him too badly." Nikolaus rolled his eyes and paced the length of the room.

Watching him wearily, my voice was nearly a whisper.  "You've never been in love.  If you had been, you wouldn't be so blasé about it."

My cutting words made his pacing come to an abrupt halt.  His green eyes slid to mine.  "Love?  Love is a waste of time."

I stood and walked to face him, grasping his shoulders with my hands.  Our eyes locked.  "You sound like the old me from a few months ago.  I'd given up, written the idea of love off because of what we can do.  But you're here because of something you saw in a vision.  Not only do you want love, you deserve it."

His face took on a look of panic and he didn't do as much as blink.  Out of respect, I didn't try to intentionally read his thoughts, but they spilled out to me in a rush.  He wanted to be desired, to love someone as desperately as I loved Stefan.  He sounded defeated, caught off guard when he spoke.  "Maybe.  I don't want to, you know...love."

"Don't lie to me, Nikolaus.  You can't bullshit mind-to-mind."

He roughly exhaled.  "I came to see you.  But your friend..."

"Anna," I supplied.

"Anna.  I saw her.  With me.  Together."  His words came out strangled and disjointed.  I didn't loosen my grip on his shoulders.  “Fuck, this is embarrassing.  I saw Anna and myself together in a sexual way.”

"You saw Anna the same way Stefan saw me.  I dreamed of him too,"  I reminded him, finally letting him go.  "It's ok to hope for it."

"I'm fucking scared shitless,”  Nikolaus divulged.  His hands went to his hair, pulling frantically at the tousled stands.

"Join the club.  We're accepting new members," I quipped.  "You and me.  We're so much alike that it's scary."

Nikolaus and I were both so scared of being hurt, of letting ourselves feel.  Or least I had been in the past.  Stefan had broken through the barrier that had kept my heart closed off.

"So I'm discovering."  He rubbed his chin nervously.  "Can I meet her?"

"I haven't spoken to Anna since she woke up.  We'll have to ask Stefan to see if she can handle it.

Closing my eyes, I let my mind seek out his.  I could feel his presence, pulsing gently in the back of my mind.  I imagined myself tugging on him, pulling him to me.

"Aren't you going to call him?"  Nikolaus asked curiously.

Placing my finger on his lips, I murmured softly.  "Shhh.  Wait a second and watch."

Within moments, Stefan was at the door.  My eyes opened and I turned to greet him.

"It works!"

Stefan muttered something under his breath.  Mentally, he spoke to me.
"Obviously.  You rang?"

"Holy fucking hell!  No wonder Kian tried to keep you apart,"  Nikolaus murmured.  His lips were parted in amazement as he looked between us both.

"Vackra?"

"I'll fill you in later.  Can Nikolaus meet Anna?"

His mouth curled in one of his trademark smug smiles.  "I figured as much.  Anna?"

Anna pushed the door open slightly.  She walked into the room, her brown eyes large.  She looked at Stefan, who motioned for her to approach us.

She faced me first.  Her tiny frame looked even more delicate than before.  In a blur, she wrapped her arms around me, almost crushing me with her burst of strength.  "Thank you, Josie.  You never gave up on me.  If not for you, I'd be in a body bag."

I didn't even try to stop the tears that fell from my eyes.  She'd lifted a 100 pound weight from my shoulders with her statement.

"Anna.  I'm so sorry," I sobbed.  "He came after me and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Don't be sorry."  Anna patted me on the back.  She lowered her voice to whisper in my ear.  "You could have told a girl what was going on."