Away From the Spotlight (29 page)

“Okay
, a
nd thanks.  Good night.”  He hugged me
again tightly
,
stroking my hair, then leaned down
, took my face in his hands
and
kissed me quickly on the lips
,
head
ing
off before I could say anything.

Oh
,
boy
!
  What ha
ve
I done?

Notwithstanding the fact that
John
had Ashley,
he
had
always
been
a li
ttle touchy-
feely with me
.
 
Until recently,
I didn’t really think anything of it and didn’t mind since I had always wished
in the back of my mind
that Ashley wasn’t in the picture.  I never realized until now that John was subtly trying to tell me something in all those touches
, but
I was so certain of his relationship with Ashley that I was too dense to
understand
what he was doing.

I realized that our last two “dates” had just been an escalation of what had been going on for a
long time
between the two of us. 
It’s just that now it was obvious to me and now I was completely unavailable.

I
closed the door behind me
and lied to
Carrie
, telling her
that nothing had happened.  I was not in the mood for grief over this.  I knew I would get it from Will
,
eventually
, when I told him
.
 
I was grateful that it was the middle of the night in the U.K. and Europe, wherever Will was at this time,
Berlin
, I think,
and I would not have to talk to him.
 
So I la
y
in bed, feeling even
guiltier as I started to think
about how the night would have played out had it not been for the fact that Will was in my life.

Gemma called the next day. 
She had in mind
another
outing
per
the instructions left by Will.  The gang wanted me to come
with
them to
Callaghan’s
that night.  I then realized what Will’s list had been about
- n
ot only did he want them to periodically cheer me up and entertain me,
h
is list consisted of things he and I had done together
to keep him fresh in my mind
–
as if
I was going to forget him.  As we spoke, I realized that
I had more than a week left without
Will
and
wondered what else was on the list.

“I’d love to,” I responded.  “That sounds like fun.”

“We’ll come get you.”

“That’s okay.  I’m on the other side of town.  I’ll meet you there.”

“
C
an you meet us there at five?
  We all have to be at work pretty early tomorrow morning.
”

“See you there a
nd, thank
s, Gemma, for doing all this.
”

“There’s nothing to thank me for – you
’
r
e
our friend now and we want to see you.”

“
Okay then.”

“Bye now.”

Not long after Gemma called, I received a call from
Max
about having drinks with the guys this evening.

At first
,
I wondered why I was hearing from
Max
instead of Joh
n.  Then it dawned on me.  John was afraid I would give him a hard time about kissing me and say no to going out
again
.

“Oh, I’m sorry,
Max
.  I can’t.  I’m going out tonight with some of Will’s friends.  They’re trying to entertain me and cheer me up while he’s gone.”

“Where are you going?  Maybe we can join you.  Listen, John and Ashley broke up and he’s
a mess
.”

I tried
to sound surprised.  “Oh really?
  That’s terrible.”  Okay, so I was a bad actress.
 
Max
didn’t seem to notice.

“We’re really going to need some help with John. 
C
an we join you
?
  I would really appreciate it.”

Since
I couldn’t really explain to
Max
why this was not a goo
d
idea, I acquiesced. 
“Okay, I’ll be at
Callaghan’s
in Santa Monica after five.”

“Good.  We’ll see you there.  Thanks, Shannon.”

“See you.”

What had I done?  Mixing John and Will’s friends was
not
a good idea.  Will wasn’t going to like it in any event.  I just hoped that John would act like a normal friend to me tonight
, but
I wasn’t feeling optimistic.

I tried not to put a l
ot of effort into my appearance
, both in response to Colin’s comments when I went to the
Royalist
and for John’s sake
.  I went light on the makeup and threw on
skinny
jeans, a
striped tank top
and flip-
flops.  I asked
Carrie
to join me, but she had a date with her boyfriend that night. 
No doubt s
he was glad I would be gone for a while. 
I chuckled as I briefly imagined thei
r romance in the sleeping bag.

I grabbed a sweater in case the fog came in later and drove across town to Santa Monica.  I put my Bluetooth earpiece
o
n because I knew that Will would be calling any minute as it was late on his side of the world.

After we said our hellos, Will said innocently, “You sound like you’re in the car.  Where are you off to?”

“You know where I’m going.  You planned it.”

He
laughed guiltily
.  “That’s right. 
Callaghan’s
.  I’ve been going so fast, I’m getting my days mixed up.”

“Where are you now?”

“Paris
.  A
t a party
, b
ut I managed to find a quiet spot.”

“I hope you’re having fun.”

“It’s okay.  The cast is with me and we pretty much stick together.  I’ll probably be here a while.  Parties tend to go a little later in France.”

“I wish I was there with you.”

“Me too.  But I’ll see you in nine days.”

“I thought I was the only one counting,” I said as I got out of the car that I parked on the street behind
the pub
.

“Hardly.  I hear your car door.  Are you there?”

“Around the corner.”

“Okay.  Have fun
then
.  I miss you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.  Bye now.”

I was glad when I entered the pub
that I
didn’t find the guys from work there.  I wandered through the crowd
in
the narrow pub with the bar
to
my right and the line of tables
to
my left.  Stephen, Colin and the girls were about two-thirds of the way back
, but
not in the back room with the band this time.  They scooted closer to make room for me in the crescent-shaped booth.  There was a pint of cider there waiting for me.

It wasn’t too noisy at this point as the band must have been on a break.  Stephen got off the phone and looked up as I took the first sip of my drink.

“That was Will.  He sends his love.”

“I just talked to him on the way over.”

The conversation was light as we drank and listened to the band.  It was the first time I realized that they
all
were in the entertainment business. 
I learned that
Kate
was a
hair and makeup
artist
and Gemma
was a
wardrobe
assistant
.  The
four of them
were entertaining me with funny
war
stories from some of the movies on which they worked.  Although the stories were amusing, I felt a little bit like the odd man out.  I had nothing to share. 
There were n
o funny stories from my experience as a law clerk.

I hadn’t been there an hour when
, from the corner of my eye,
I noticed the guys from work
enter
t
he pub
.  I excused myself to greet them.

I received hugs from the three of them and felt a little better when John was
acting
no different
ly than
Max
and Da
niel
.  I told them where I was sitting and
left them at the bar to get
themselves
drinks.

“Some friends of mine from work are here,” I said as I rejoined the group at the table.  “I hope you don’t mind, but I asked them to join us.”  I hadn’t warned them beforehand because I didn’t want Will to know that this had been planned.

The guys walked over to the table a few minutes later.  I scooted in a little further to make room.  John sat next to me and
Max
next to him.  Da
niel
leaned up against the edge the table, standing.
  I made the introductions and Kate gave me a knowing look.  I could see the recognition in Stephen’s face
as well
as I introduced John.

John p
laced
his left hand on my right knee under the table and
,
when I put my hand down to remove his, he grabbed my hand.  I was not going to be able to unpry his hand from mine without calling attention to what was going on so I let him continue to hold my hand.  I squeezed his hand as a warning sign, but he didn’t take it that way and squeezed back.

Above the table, John appeared nonchalant.  I likely turned beet red
,
but in the dim light it probably didn’t show because no one commented.

“So you are all attorneys,” Colin said, stating the
o
bvious,
t
rying to make conversation.

The guys nodded. 
Max
responded, “
Yes
,
Shannon works with us.”

Other than my discomfort
at
John holding my hand along with the worry that one of Will’s friends might notice, we actually had fun.  The banter between Colin and
Max
, the two comedians of the group
,
was very entertaining and the evening passed quickly.

We all exited as a group, but my car appeared to be
off
in a different direction than the rest.  We all hugged each other and there were some handshakes be
tween Will’s friends and mine.

As I turned to walk around the corner
to my car
, John said something to
Max
and Da
niel
and
caught up with
me.

“What are you doing?”

“Walking you to your car.”

“I don’t need a bodyguard.  I’ll be fine.”

“I want to.”

I
took the opportunity to confront John
.  “
Wh
at
was
that in there?  You know those are
Will’s
friends.”

“I know.”

“
Will is my
boyfriend
.  You shouldn’t be doing things like that
a
nd particularly not in front of his friends
.”

“Which is it that bothers you
: t
hat I was holding your hand
o
r that Will’s friends might see?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sorry.  I
need
your friendship right now.  Anyway, isn’t that what
friends
do?”