Away From the Spotlight (47 page)

I
chuckled
as I remembered.
“Yes, I’ll be on the lookout.”

“Be on the lookout for what?” Will asked, confuse
d by the topic of conversation.

“Can I tell him?”
I asked permission in case I would e
mbarrass her.

Pam blushed and nodded.  “I
guess he
could help too.”

I looked over at Will, but
couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Pam has this fantasy of meeting someone like a character in her favorite book.  It’s a World War II Spy Thriller and the bad guy, who’s really not a bad guy
,
just on the wrong side, is a tall, blond Prussian-type.  She’s hoping to meet someone like him while we’re in Germany
.  Tonight is her last chance.”

“I don’t know if I can help you there, but I hope you find what you’re looking for.”  He laughed, finding it funny, and probably
a little
ironic since he was the subject of
Midnight
fans
’
fantasies
because
they thought he was the brooding romantic
character he played incarnate.

We headed out to the club a
round
ten, which was still
fairly early for a club
.  Notwithstanding
, the place was
crowded
and
was
becoming
even
more so as it got later.  We ordered drinks and stood not far from the main dance floor, which was
packed
and dark with occasional colored lights pulsing overhead.  The music alternated between
electronic dance music,
hip hop
,
and a blend of both
.  T
he crowd seemed to move up an
d
down
en masse
as there was almost no space between the bodies.
  We received a few stares as people tried to adjust their eyes to the lack of light to determine whether they were actually seeing who they thought they saw.  No one bothered us though.

Pam stood with her drink on the other side of me from Will.  After a little while, I
looked over
and
noticed that a guy, blond, but not all
that tall, was talking to her.

“I’m going to go dance,” she screamed
in my ear so that I could hear.

“What if we get separated
?
” I screamed back.

“Don’t worry about me.  I can get myself back to the hotel.  I’ll text you when I get in and call you
when I get up in the morning.”

“Okay.  Have fun
!
”

Pam smiled at me as she w
as led away to the dance floor.

Now it was going to be awkward.  Will was holding my right hand, but
remained
distracted and distant.  Once Pam left,
however,
Will
put his drink down on a nearby table, took mine from my hand
and
placed it on the table as well,
grabbed
my hand and led me to the
center of the dark dance floor.

Talking was definitely not going to work
because
the music was almost deafening.  My ears were going to be pounding for a while.  Dancing wasn’t really going to work either because we could hardly move as there was so little space.  Staring into each other’s eyes also wasn’t going to work as it was so dark
we
could hardly see anything other than shapes pressed around
us
on all sides.  Will pulled me close.  We started to make out and, because of the dark and the crowd, he was able to touch me in ways that ordinarily would not have been polite in public.  I got lost in it
and
was able to push my fears out of my head for a little while.  It wasn’t too long though before our activities made us both anxious to get out
of there and back to the hotel.

Our fervor died down
during
the taxi ride back to the hotel
.
  Will
was
distracted
again
and I was on the quiet side as I worried over
the cause of his distraction.

As we entered the suite, I decided to be brave and ask what was wrong, knowing that I w
asn’t going to like the answer.

“What’s wrong, Will?  You se
em like you’re somewhere else.”

“I’m fine, really
.
”
  He didn’t sound convincing.

“No, you’re
not
.  Something I said or did bothered you.  What was it?  Please tell me.  It’s been
killing
me all night.”

“Nothing.  I’m not ready now.”  He
said absently
.

“Ready f
or what?  To break up with me?”

“
What
?”
He focused all his attention now on m
e and looked genuinely shocked.

“
You
heard me.  I frightened you when I said I wouldn’t want anyone else ever, didn’t I?”  I was trying not to cry
and only partially succeeding.

“
That’s
what you
think
?”

“Yes.  Isn’t it true?”

“You couldn’t be
more wrong
.”  He took his right thumb and wiped away the tear
s that had managed to leak out.

“I don’t understand.  Other than on the dance floor, you’ve been so dist
ant after what I said earlier.”

“I’m
just thinking, trying to plan.”

“What do you mean?  I still don’t understand
!
”

“I want to do this right.  Not here. 
Not on the spur of the moment.”

“What are you
talking
about?”

“Until you said what you said tonight, I don’t think I believe
d
that you
really
felt
the same as
I do
.  I don’t want anyone else either. 
Ever
.  I want you, and only you,
always
.
I want to marry you
, b
ut I don’t want to propose here, like this.  I want to do it right.  I love you more than anything.  Can
we do this when
you return to England?”

Th
at
was the exact opposite of what I expected to hear and I was caught completely off guard.
  There was a long pause before I spoke and Will started to look concerned.

I
then
smiled brightly and asked,
“Does th
is
mean we’re engaged to be engaged?”
  I
wiped
my
remaining tears away.

“Yes
,
”
Will exhaled and closed his eyes
,
relieved.

“
Can I tell you my answer?”

“Not officially.”

“Can I
show
you my answer?”

“Absolutely.”

We stayed up
all night
together
until early the next morning
, trying to get a good start on our forever together
.  N
either of us wanted the night to end. 
W
e
couldn’t believe how late it was when
w
e heard
a beep from my cell phone reflecting Pam’s text
at 5 a.m.
informing me that she was
back in her room
.

Pam called at about
ten-thirty
and woke us up
after only a few hours of sleep
.  We agreed to meet at Noon in the lobby to go to lunch and try to catch at least
a few
sight
s
before
Will had to return to England.

When we met Pam in the lobby,
despite having had little sleep,
Will and I
both
were
ecstatic
and it was no doubt obvious
.  Pam
stared at us both
,
analyzing
us.

“What’s going on?”
she finally asked.

“
What do you mean?” I responded.

“You two look strange today
a
nd it’s not just your normal glow from whatever it is you two were doing this morning
that
I can only imagine. 
So t
ell me what’s going on?”

Will responded, “Nothing
.  Y
et.”

“Cryptic.  You’re going to have to be more specific.  I’m not go
nna
let
it
go.  If I have to be the third wheel with you two looking all lovey-dovey at each other all day long, the least you can do is let me in on whatever it is.”

I looked at Will.  “Can I?”

He nodded.

“We’re getting en
gaged when I return to London.”

Pam s
quealed
and hugged us both. 
Various
patrons in the
hotel
lobby stared.

I said quietly, “Okay, but you’re going to have to keep quiet about this.  He hasn’t
proposed officially yet.”

“I’m so happy for you.”  She
then
thought about something for a second and added, “You two are going to be
unbearable today, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Unbearable is probably not the right word.  More like nausea
ting.”

“Thanks
a lot
.” I pretended to b
e
hurt.

“Let’s go get some beers.  I could use a little hair of the dog.  Besides, we can celebrate and
being a little tipsy
will make it easier for me to tolerate
the
two
of you
.”

Will and I couldn’t take our eyes off each other.  It was almost as if we thought that, if we did, the other would disappear and we would find that the last
twenty-four
hours had been a dream.
Notwithstanding, we tried not to be too difficult for Pam, sneaking kisses only when she either was looking away
or was, in fact, away from us.

We went out for a traditional German meal and Pam was able to have a few beers with lunch.  We then went wandering around Brandenburg Gate and the Glass Dome at the Reichstag.
  Will had to pose for a few pictures here and there
with fans
, but we were left alone
for
most of the afternoon.

Pam decided that she would go shopping on the Ku’damm and allow us to be alone for a while before Will was to leave.  She and I would double back at the hotel after Will l
eft for the airport.

We decided to go someplace with a view,
the
Berliner Fernsehturm, the o
ld East Berlin Television Tower
that had a
rotating
restaurant at the top
.  When we finally g
ot to the top
, we
sa
t
alone
on the same side of
a
window
table. 
W
ith glasses of champagne in front of us, w
e scooted our chairs close to each other and looked at the view while the restaurant spun slowly.  Will
held my hand
in my lap
.

“It’s not as good as a boat would have been, but I like the view,” Will said as he stared, not at the view out the window, but at me.  He added with a leer, “I know how
much
you like boats.”

“I do, p
articularly when I’m with you.”

“Well, I’ll have to keep that in mind when you
return
to England.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know.  It feels like I’m always leaving you.  I hate being apart, but it will give me some time to arrange a few things.”

“Arrange?  Ah, yes.  You
have
to promise me that you won’t go overboard.”