B007TB5SP0 EBOK (49 page)
Authors: Ronald Firbank
‘Oh?’
‘Your daughter and she used frequently to take their meals in the boxes, which made, of course, for mice. There was a well, you know, below the stage.’
‘So she wrote her mother.’
Mrs Sixsmith fumbled in the depths of a beaded pouch.
‘There was a letter found in one of her jacket-pockets, Canon,’ she said. ‘Perhaps you might care to have it.’
‘A letter? From whom?’
‘A young coster of Covent Garden, who saw your daughter at a stage-farewell.’
‘Be so good, dear lady, as to inform me of its contents.’
‘It’s quite illiterate,’ Mrs Sixsmith murmured, putting back her veil and glancing humorously towards the grave.
‘D
EAR
M
ISS
,‘I seed you at the Fisher Mat. on Friday last and you took my heart a treat. I’m only a young Gallery boy – wot’s in the flower trade. But I knows wot I knows – And you’re It. Oh Miss! I does want to see you act in Juliet in your own butey-ful ouse, if only you ad a seat as you could spare just for me and a pal o’ mine as is alright. I send you some red cars sweet and scenty fresh from Covent Market, your true-gone
‘B
ILL
.
‘Hoping for tickets.’
‘Poor lad. Sally would have obliged him, I feel sure,’ Canon Sinquier said.
‘Alas, what ephemeral creatures, Canon, we are!’
‘We are in His hands.’
‘She knew that. Sally’s faith never forsook her … Oh, Canon, some day perhaps I may come to you to direct me. I’m so soul-sick.’
‘Is there no one in London to advise you?’
‘Nobody at all.’
‘Indeed? You astonish me.’
‘I’m perfectly tired of London, Canon!’
‘Your husband, no doubt, has his occupation there.’
‘My husband and I are estranged …’
‘You’ve no child?’
‘Alas, Canon! I often think … sometimes … I would like to adopt one. A little country buttercup! Really … a dog, even the best of mannered – isn’t very
comme il faut
.’
‘You seek a boy?’
‘Mer-cy
no
! Nothing of the sort … You quite mistake my meaning.’
‘Your meaning, madam, was obscure.’
‘I imply a girl … a blonde! And she’d share with me, sir, every facility, every advantage. Her education should be my care.’
‘What is your age?’
‘From thirteen—’
‘An orphan?’
‘Preferably.’
‘I will discuss the affair presently with my wife,’ Canon Sinquier said, turning in meditation his steps towards the wicket-gate.
‘Before leaving your charming city, Canon, I should like beyond everything to visit the episcopal Palace: Sally used often to speak of the art-treasures there.’
‘Art-treasures?’
‘Old pictures!’
‘Are you an amateur of old pictures?’
‘Indeed I am. My husband once – Paul – he paid a perfect fortune for a Dutch painting; and will you believe me, Canon! It was only of the back view of a horse.’
‘A Cuyp?’
‘A Circus – with straw-knots in its tail. It used to hang in Mr Sixsmith’s study; and there it always was! Frankly,’ she added, brushing a black kid glove to her face, ‘I used sometimes to wish it would kick.’
‘If you’re remaining here any length of time, there are some portraits at the Deanery that are considered to be of interest, I believe.’
‘Portraits!’
‘Old ecclesiastical ones.’
‘Oh, Canon?’
‘Perhaps you would come quietly to dinner. At which of our inns are you?’
‘I’m at the “Antelope”. ’
‘I know that my girl would have wished our house to be open to you. You were her friend. Her champion …’
‘Dear Canon – don’t … don’t: you mustn’t! She’s at peace. Nothing can fret her. Nothing shall fret her … ever now. And, you know, as a manageress, she was liable to vast vexations.’
‘My poor pet.’
‘She’s
hors de combat
: free from a calculating and dishonest world; ah, Canon!’
‘We shall expect you, then, dear Sally’s friend, to dinner this evening at eight,’ Canon Sinquier murmured as he walked away.
Mrs Sixsmith put up a large chiffon sunshade and hovered staccato before the dwindling spires and ogee dome of S. Irene.
It was one of the finest days imaginable. The sun shone triumphantly in the midst of a cloudless sky.
She would loiter awhile among the bougainvillaeas and dark, spreading laurels of the Cathedral green, trespassing obtusely now and then into quiet gardens, through tall wrought-iron gates.
New visions and possibilities rare rose in her mind.
With Sally still, she could do a lot. Through her she would be received with honours into the courtly circles of the Close.
Those fine palatial houses, she reflected, must be full of wealth … old Caroline plate and gorgeous green Limoges: Sally indeed had proved it! The day she had opened her heart in the Café Royal she had spoken of a massive tureen
too heavy even to hold
.
Mrs Sixsmith’s eyes grew big.
Her lost friend’s father wished for anecdotes, anecdotes of her ‘broken brilliance’; he should have them. She saw herself indulging him with ‘Salliana’, wrapped in a white mantilla of old Mechlin lace.
An invitation from Canon and Mrs Sinquier should be adroitly played for to-night: ‘And once in the house! …’ she schemed, starting, as a peacock, symbol of S. Irene, stretched from a bougainvillaea-shrouded wall its sapphire neck at her as if to peck.
Her thoughts raced on.
On a near hill beyond the river reach the sombre little church of S. Ann changed to a thing of fancy against a yellowing sky.
From all sides, seldom in unison, pealed forth bells. In fine religious gaiety struck S. Mary, contrasting clearly with the bumble-dumble of S. Mark. S. Elizabeth and S. Sebastian in Flower Street seemed in high dispute, while across the sunset water S. Ann-on-the-Hill did nothing but complain. Near by S. Nicaise, half-paralysed and impotent, scarcely shook. Then triumphant, in a hurricane of sound, S. Irene hushed the lot.
Mrs Sixsmith fetched a long, calm breath.
It was already the hour he had said.
‘And my experience tells me,’ she murmured, as she took her way towards the Deanery, ‘that with opportunity and time he may hope to succeed to Sir Oliver.’
Variants in the 1915 Edition of Vainglory
Listed below are the readings of the current text from the 1925 edition of
Vainglory
, placed side by side with the variants from the first (1915) edition of the text. Every effort has been made to note all substantial variants. Minor variations in punctuation, presentation and spelling, particularly where a typesetting error from 1915 alone appears to have been corrected, are not listed. For details about the two editions, see the Note on the Texts.
| Page | 1925 edition | 1915 edition |
| 4 | ‘There will be eleven bridesmaids besides At’y!’ ‘I don’t know yet …’ | ‘There will be eleven bridesmaids besides At’y!’ ‘They will look Satanic. ‘Yes; it’s perhaps too close to picture them!’ ‘I don’t know, yet …’ |
| 4 | ‘… But I shall be very plain.’ ‘He’s twenty-three … with lovely eyebrows,’ Mrs Henedge said, beginning to purr. | ‘… But I shall be very plain.’ ‘The cake,’ Mrs Henedge said, beginning to purr, ‘is to be an exact replica of the Victoria Memorial.’ |
| 4 | ‘I can hardly imagine,’ Lady Georgia observed, ‘anyone setting out deliberately for Brussels.’ | ‘I can hardly imagine anyone,’ Lady Georgia observed, ‘setting out deliberately for Brussels.’ |
| 4 | … hung a sumptuous Station of the Cross , by Tiepolo. | … hung a sumptuous Stations of the Cross , by Tiepolo. |
| 5 | Except, she considered, for dear Sir Victor Blueharnis … | Except, she considered, for dear Lord Blueharnis … |
| 7 | Lady Georgia opened wide-wide eyes. ‘Is it,’ she hazarded, ‘some new thing about Mrs Hanover?’ | Lady Georgia opened wide-wide eyes. ‘Is it some new thing,’ she inquired, ‘about Mrs Hanover?’ |
| 9 | The drawing-room, for instance, was a complete surprise, notwithstanding its dimensions being ocularly curtailed … | The drawing-room, for instance, was a complete surprise, in spite of its dimensions being ocularly curtailed … |
| 9 | … a bust of poor dear Leslie , some most Asiatic cushions, … | … a bust of poor dear Leslie , some most Oriental cushions, … |
| 10 | And now the air was laden with the odour of white and dark mauve stocks. | And now the house was full of rambler roses and of blue sweet-peas. |
| 10 | … nor, for intriguing curiosities, had she scoured a pagan cookery-book in vain … | … nor, for toothsome curiosities, had she scoured a pagan cookery-book in vain … |
| 11 | It was courageous of her, her hostess thought, to flaunt such carnationed cheeks. Only in Reynolds or in a Romney did one expect to see such a dab . | It was courageous of her, her hostess thought, to flaunt such carnational cheeks. Only in a Reynolds or in a Romney did one expect to see such a dab . |
| 11 | … their nearest approach being, perhaps, a matinée of a Winter’s Tale . | … their nearest approach being, perhaps, a matinée of The Winter’s Tale . |
| 13 | She was fair, with dark Tziganne eyes, which dilated, … | She was fair, with dark Tziganne eyes, which, slightly dilated, … |
| 13 | … even when her husband spoke of ‘going away’ and ‘leaving’ her to live alone in some small and exquisite capital. | … even when her husband spoke of going away and leaving her to live alone in some small and exquisite Capitol. |
| 18 | ‘If you cannot sleep,’ she said to him, ‘you’ve only to repeat to yourself Innesfree several times …’ | ‘If you cannot sleep,’ she said to him, ‘you’ve only to repeat to yourself Innisfree several times …’ |
| 18 | … Mrs Asp purred in her comfortable voice, using those same inflexions which had startled, so shockingly, the Duchess of York … | … Mrs Asp purred in her comfortable voice, using those same inflections which had startled, so shockingly, the Princess H. of B. … |
| 18 | ‘I admired your valsing, the other night,’ she said to her, ‘at the Invergordons’ …’ | ‘I admired your valsing, the other night,’ she said to her, ‘at the de Lerens’ …’ |
| 19 | … Lady Georgia exclaimed, fingering it. | … Lady Georgia exclaimed, fingering it. ‘Is that little Miss Finch? It’s a perfect psalm!’ |
| 19 | ‘The cupids,’ Mira explained, holding out the stiff Italian stuff of ruby and blue, ‘are imitated from a church frieze.’ | ‘The cupids are imitated from a church frieze,’ Mira explained, holding out the stiff Italian stuff of ruby and blue woven with gold. |
| 19 | And sinking to a small semi-circular settee, she surveyed the room, … | And holding her coffee-cup at an angle, she surveyed the room, … |
| 23 | … as the poet’s With lofty poles , or With water dripped the napkin , … | … as the poet’s With Golden Ankles , for instance, or Vines trailed on lofty poles , or With water dripped the napkin , … |
| 24 | … a photograph of two terrified-looking little boys that somehow had been forgotten. | … a photograph of two terrified-looking little boys, which somehow had been forgotten. |
| 25–26 | … ‘grouped invalidishly about the great doorway of San Sopphia.’ | … ‘grouped invalidishly about the great doorway of Santa Sophia.’ |
| 26 | ‘It’s almost as delicious,’ she breathed, ‘as the Shuggar-Plum-Fairies Dance from Casse Noisette .’ | ‘It’s almost as delicious,’ she breathed, ‘as the Sugar-Plum Fairies’ Dance from Casse Noisette .’ |
| 26–7 | ‘Sing, dear…?’ she said. ‘Oh, I don’t really know if I can …’ | ‘Sing, dear…?’ she said. ‘Oh, I don’t really know if I can …’ |
| 29 | … you know !’ She raised white, shielding arms. ‘The daughter of …’ | … you know !’ She smiled charmingly … ‘The daughter of …’ |
| 29 | And so – after what seemed to be endless preliminaries – Mira danced. | And so – after what seemed almost incredible adjustments – Mira danced. |
| 30 | On her walls hung charming flower studies by Vincent Van Gough [sic], … | On her walls hung charming flower studies by Fantin Latour, … |
| 31 | … persuade her mistress to take back some of the palms … | … persuade her mistress to take back some of the rambler-roses … |
| 35 | ‘… Besides, Viola’s getting impatient …’ | ‘… Besides, Victoria’s getting impatient …’ |
| 35 | ‘Victor insists that you come to us for the Ashringford races,’ she said … | ‘Blueharnis insists that you come to us for the Ashringford races,’ she said … |
| 35 | ‘I’m delighted at any rate,’ Mrs Henedge rose remarking, ‘that we shall see something of each other in Ashringford, when we must contrive to conquer all difficulties to gain possession of a window.’ | ‘I’m delighted at any rate, that we shall see something of each other in Ashringford. We must contrive to conquer all difficulties to obtain the window.’ |
| 36 | ‘A terror!’ | ‘A terror!’ ‘A perfect terror!’ ‘Well, it’s so nice of you to help me.’ |
| 37 | ‘… I know, with you , that it takes the place of a cigarette.’ | ‘…I know that with you it takes the place of a cigarette.’ |
| 37 | … waving as he spoke, a file, ‘it’s extraordinary, but ever since that Arabian ball …’ | … waving, as he spoke, a file, ‘but ever since that Arabian ball …’ |
| 38 | … some concert fixtures, a sketch of Charlie Campfire the barman (of Lower Bottom Street, Park Lane), an early photograph of Andrew in a surplice, a caricature of Bronx White the Negro champion, an impression of Lionel Maymauve singing ‘Women, those deceiving Cats’ might be seen, … | … some concert fixtures, a caricature of Owen Nares, an early photograph of Andrew in a surplice, a sketch of Mildenberg as Clytemnestra, an impression of Felia Litvinne in Tristan, might be seen, … |
| 38 | … before a retreating sea. Winsome, indeed, … | … before a retreating sea. Winsome, indeed, … |
| 39 | … giving, often, the signal for applause, while, (for the room held many wonders), in a corner, intriguing the eye, reposed … | … giving, often, the signal for applause. While in a corner, intriguing the eye, reposed … |
| 39 | So manifest, of course, at concerts. | So manifest, of course, at concerts. In her supremest flights the good woman would seldom get beyond suet. And even this was in her most Debussyish vein … |
| 39 | Continually he was turning over in his mind the advisability of changing his usual name to Rose de Tivoli. | Continually he was turning over in his mind the advisability of being re-baptised, this time – Rose de Tivoli. |
| 40 | Everywhere, between the houses (those old and dingy houses, whose windows would catch the sunrise with untold splendour) showed plots of garden … | Everywhere, between the houses, those old and dingy houses, whose windows would catch the sunrise with untold splendour, showed plots of garden … |
| 41 | ‘… Do I disturb you?’ The door opening gently was followed by the entry of a handsome, though harassed, head. | ‘… Do I disturb you?’ |
| 44 | … or La Taxeira, as she was to become. She achieved fame in Agrippina at Baias … | … or la Tazeira, as she was to become. She achieved fame in Agrippina at Baiae … |
| 50 | ‘The relief,’ she explained, ‘of getting somewhere …’ | ‘The relief,’ she exclaimed, ‘of getting somewhere …’ |
| 50 | ‘… And Even-tide , and Night Thoughts , and the sequel, Beans … ’ | ‘… And Even-tide , and Night Thoughts , and the sequel, Beams … ’ |
| 50 | Mrs Shamefoot fixed her gaze wistfully upon an advertisement board, exhorting the public to purge itself freely with Syros Syrop. | Mrs Shamefoot fixed her eyes upon the hills that slid back, she thought, with a fine monastic roll. |
| 51 | ‘Oh, don’t swear! Don’t swear!’ | ‘Oh, don’t swear! Don’t, don’t swear!’ |
| 53 | The terrific immobility of Egyptian things enchanted her, especially on escapades of this sort. | The terrific immobility of Egyptian things enchanted her, particularly in the train. |
| 54 | ‘To wear an extra flannel petticoat.’ | ‘Wear an extra flannel petticoat.’ |
| 54 | ‘From the marks on his cheek …’ | ‘From the marks on his cheeks …’ |
| 57 | … Virginia, Prudence, Lettuice, … | … Virginia, Prudence, Lettice, … |
| 60 | … like Fragonard’s Inspiration . | … like Fragonard’s Inspiration . |
| | Solid equally was the vast rambling Palace. Built around two sides of a quadrangle, it was, according to local taste, an ugly, forlorn affair, remarkable chiefly for its stately Tudor balcony. | At the Pilgrims’ Depot in the busy High Street there is to be obtained an anthology of ‘Last Words’, culled chiefly from the lips of the womenkind of the Episcopal set. If the sayings of these ladies were often salty and frequently pointed, the Palace, it should be said, faced a Gothic arch. |
| | | Built around two sides of a quadrangle, it was, according to local taste, an ugly, forlorn affair, its bricks having been masked by stucco in 1785. |
| | | Here and there, where the stucco had chipped away, the brick peeped out as if some rare fresco lay smothered underneath. From a flagged courtyard a classic staircase of divine proportions swept, exteriorly, to a broad balcony above the ground floor (spoken of sometimes as the loggia), which created, perhaps, something of a grand-opera effect. |
| 61 | … the long wavy nose à la Lucca Signorelli, … | … the long wavy nose à la Luca Signorelli, … |
| 63 | Sir Victor Blueharnis looked bored. | Lord Blueharnis looked bored. |
| 63 | Sir Victor prevented her … | Lord Blueharnis prevented her. |
| 64 | … Sir Victor inquired, half turning. | … Lord Blueharnis inquired, half turning. |
| 66 | ‘But you understand, don’t you, dearest, it’s something far rarer with me …’ | ‘But you understand, don’t you, dearest, my poor motives, what they mean …’ |
| 67 | ‘But, still, that she should have arrived at a state of repugnance, possibly, is something.’ | ‘But that she should have arrived at a state of repugnance, possibly, is something.’ |
| 67 | … ‘who startled me once more than I can ever say …’ | … ‘who once startled me more than I can ever say …’ |
| 70 | And the reaction, it was politely supposed, had completely turned their brains. | And the reaction, it was politely supposed, had completely turned their brain. |
| 70 | … seemed to have been squeezed from tubes of multi-tinted paint, … | … seemed to have been squeezed from tubes of multi-coloured paint, … |
| 70 | … one of Goldoni’s plays. | … one of Goldoni’s plays. Miss Hospice catches the peeping Brueghelness of it in her Scroll from the Fingers of Ta-Hor , in which, steeping herself in deception and mystery, she attempts to out-Chatterton Chatterton with: |