Authors: Jessica Alba
B00AFU6252 EBOK (36 page)
As much as you can, let yourself off that perfection hook. Is your baby happy and healthy?
That’s
all that matters—not whether you have the most perfectly packed diaper bag or whether you’ve managed to color-coordinate her outfit to yours (okay, I do this sometimes by accident!). And again, don’t get hung up on whether everybody else thinks you’re making the most socially responsible or smartest parenting decision. Go with your gut, do what works for your family, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Here’s how I navigated some of those Big Baby Decisions during the first few months with both of my girls—plus some tips and tricks I figured out along the way to make life with a new baby a little easier!
T
HERE MAY BE
no other decision you can make as a parent that will open you up to more guilt, judgment, and criticism than whether you choose to breastfeed or use formula. I don’t know why, exactly, we’ve made this
such
a loaded issue—yes, there’s lots of research showing the health benefits of breastfeeding over formula, and the official recommendation is that moms should try to breastfeed for at least the first 6 months. But what people seem to forget is that breastfeeding—as natural and wonderful as it is!—can be terribly challenging for many women. Some just plain can’t do it, either because their milk doesn’t come in or they have a pre-existing medical condition that doesn’t allow it. Others press on but struggle with all sorts of complications. And others really want to, but have to go back to work and don’t have the means to pump, due to cost, lack of privacy, or some other barrier.
At the same time, society is hypercritical of moms who breastfeed for a super-long time (longer than one year, say), even though this is quite common in other cultures. And people get squeamish about breastfeeding in public at any stage—which sure doesn’t help when you’re trying to do this really difficult, high-pressure thing because everyone is telling you
it’s best for your baby or else
.
So can we please agree that this is one issue where everyone should just back off and let moms figure this out as best they can? Enough with the judgment already! Let’s unite in supporting parents’ decisions, whatever they are. With both of my daughters, I breastfed as long as I could, but not as long as I wanted. I had to get back to work, and I wasn’t able to keep it going. But I am proud to say I did the best for my daughters—and I’m proud of all of my mom friends for doing the best they can on this issue. Whatever you do, trust that you’re doing the best you can for your baby.
Y
OU’RE GOING TO
change 5,000 to 8,000 diapers before you get your kid on the potty. That, my friends, is a lot of poop. It means whether you go cloth or disposable is actually a fairly important and impactful decision—and this is not an easy call, because you not only have to weigh the environmental health concerns but you also need a diaper that
works
. I mean, if there’s one product category where function really matters, this is it.
The bottom line on
conventional disposable diapers
is that they’re made out of paper, plastic, and absorptive gels, all mostly nonbiodegradable, so these diapers live in landfills for decades—and we add 3.6 million tons more every year, according to the EPA. Even worse news where your baby is concerned: Conventional disposable diapers contain chemicals that were banned way back in the 1980s for use in women’s tampons—yet somehow, we think they’re okay to put near babies? This means the average diaper can emit toxic gases like toluene (see
this tip
). We don’t have a lot of research on how this impacts a baby’s health—but I’m not excited about it. And at least one mainstream diaper brand got into some hot water because their “new and improved” diapers were giving babies chemical rashes. No, thanks.
Cloth diapers
are a much less toxic and less wasteful option, especially now that they are designed to be laundered in your home washer and dryer (instead of sending them out to a diaper service, where you lose eco-points for transportation and industrial-strength cleaners). They also come in cuter colors—you can treat them like little pants! If washing poopy diapers is not your thing, there are
hybrid diapers,
where you get cute reusable pants, and you just switch out an eco-safe disposable or flushable diaper liner when your kid needs changing. Cloth and hybrids are both a sizable upfront investment, but they are endlessly reusable, and you usually end up saving money in the long run over disposables. The biggest problem with both cloth and hybrids remains convenience: Most daycare centers won’t deal with them, and if you’re traveling, I can’t begin to work out the logistics.
Enter your fourth option:
nontoxic, eco-friendly disposable diapers.
This is what ended up working best for my family—so much so that I launched my own brand! Beware of “green washing”—like the phrase “chlorine free.” No diaper on the market is allowed to use chlorine anymore, so it isn’t really something to boast about.
I put a ton of research into diapers in my pre-Honor days and decided that we would try some of the eco-friendly, disposable options on the market. I wish we could have done cloth, but with the amount of time Cash and I work and travel, it wasn’t realistic.
Once I started with those eco-disposables (which looked like brown paper bags—so not cute!), I wished we could have done cloth even more—Honor was constantly having diaper blowouts. Finally, one exhausted night, I put two diapers on her before bed. When I went in to get her the next morning, the diapers had exploded and there was tons of this white plastic popcorn stuff everywhere. It was all over Honor’s crib and all over Honor—in her hair, eyes, and mouth. I called 911 in a panic because I thought, If this stuff is supposed to be absorbent, what if it swells up in her stomach?
When I called the diaper company to find out what this white popcorn crap was, they wouldn’t tell me! I’m sorry, but that is unacceptable to me—both as a mom and as an environmentalist. That’s why Christopher and I decided that The Honest Company would start with diapers—and do it better. Our diapers are nontoxic, made from plant-based ingredients, as biodegradable as possible, and are the most absorbent and disposable on the market (in fact, they have outperformed both conventional and eco-brands by 25 to 45 percent). Oh, and they come in fashionably cute patterns and get delivered every month for a relatively affordable fee. We’re definitely considering adding a cloth or hybrid diaper as our company grows.
Don’t give up right away if breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally. I know it’s frustrating, but success isn’t immediate for every mom. Here are some strategies from Alan Greene, MD, author of
Feeding Baby Green
,
on what you can do to try to make the situation easier.
- GET AS MUCH SLEEP AS POSSIBLE.
Let the dishes stack up—or ask a family member or close friend to come help out for a few days. Take naps. - DRINK AT LEAST EIGHT GLASSES OF WATER PER DAY.
This will help increase your milk supply. - DON’T FEED YOUR BABY MORE OFTEN THAN EVERY 90 MINUTES TO 2 HOURS.
She may want to eat more often, but if you wait a bit longer, she may eat more and stay full longer, and your milk will have time to replenish. - DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT DIETING FOR THE FIRST SIX WEEKS
no matter how worried you are about your baby weight. You need adequate nutrition right now. (Keep taking your prenatal vitamins!) - GET SUPPORT.
Your pediatrician, lactation consultant, and OB-GYN can all offer useful insights. (
Jessica’s note:
But I found that some of the best advice came from other moms I met at mommy and me classes and through mommy blogs!)
“L
ACK OF SLEEP
”
is probably every nonparent’s biggest fear. Certainly, your sleep schedule requires the biggest adjustment during the first few months of parenthood. Those first few weeks? It is what it is. Your baby needs to eat every few hours (maybe even every 90 minutes), and if you’re breastfeeding, that’s going to be your new around-the-clock alarm clock. With Honor, I was just about at my breaking point (especially because I couldn’t drink coffee while nursing), when my girlfriend Kelly Sawyer said the magic word: “Schedule!” She had successfully transitioned both of her kids to a consistent 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. sleep schedule. It totally changed her life—and then mine.
Caveat: This is a (kinder, gentler) form of sleep training, and that’s
not
for everyone. Definitely discuss this strategy with your partner and your pediatrician—many experts have written about this subject and there is a wide variety of opinion. I’m simply sharing what worked for us—in the hopes that it can help you and your little ones get a better night’s sleep.
That being said, here’s what Kelly’s Genius Sleep Schedule looks like (see photo, above)—you can start it with a child as young as a few months old, then phase out the daytime naps when your baby stops needing to sleep as much. “It may take your baby a week or so to get used to the new routine, so be patient,” Kelly warns. “The key is to wake them up at the end of each naptime right on schedule—as hard as that seems! If they sleep too much during the day, they
won’t
sleep at night. It’s that simple.” Kelly says she implemented the schedule at four months with her first daughter, and “as soon as humanly possible” with number two. With Honor, we were able to get her on this schedule by about three months. By four weeks old, she was big enough to sleep for 6 hours at a stretch, and at that point, we started letting her be awake and fussing a bit before we’d go in to get her—gradually, we were able to stretch this from 6 to 8 to 10 to 12 hours. Amazing!