B0161IZ63U (A) (12 page)

--

As the sun came and went, Chase looked at the homework that sat piled on the desk next to his bed.  Most of it was due in the morning.  He knew he could knock it out with his eyes closed, but he couldn’t make himself move.

Lying in the middle of the bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, seemed much more desirable.

As was often the case, he couldn’t get Lila James out of his head.

At the moment, she’d pissed him off to the high heavens.  His deep desire for her, the desire that had been tearing him slowly to pieces, limb by agonizing limb, had been easier to fight when he was a kid.  Back when he was thirteen, he’d known he didn’t stand a chance with her.  They’d both known.  They’d both known that, no matter how many nights he spent dreaming about her, no matter what he said or what he did, he would never have her.

Things were different now.

For the first time in his life, Chase could feel it happening.  He could feel Lila changing. He could feel that the war, the war that had been waged in his heart from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her, was finally close to being won.

He’d had her bent over her sink with his dick in the folds of her ass.  It had felt unbelievable.  Not just physically, but in the most volatile parts of him.  The parts that had always belonged to her.

For the first time in his life, he
knew
he could have her, and knowing that was going to kill him ten times faster than her unrequited love ever could’ve.

Now, when she fought him, pulled away, and told him no, it was more frustrating than it had ever been when he was thirteen, because now he knew she was fighting in vain.

It didn’t help that his brother was in town, fucking with her head even more.  Jack always had terrible timing, and now was no exception. He’d walked back into Lila’s life at the worst possible moment.

Chase understood that he no longer had the luxury of waiting Lila out.  Waiting for her love to come softly.  For her to wake the hell up.  No, he would have to wake her up himself.

He’d told her he would kill Jack before seeing him have her again, and he’d meant it with every fiber of his being.

He sighed, fingers moving slowly over his throbbing dick, sticky with the desire dripping from its pulsating tip.  His free hand cupped his aching balls, prompting a strangled moan, and he tried to push the anger away, to stop picturing her face.  It astounded him that, even then, he was still hard for her.  Harder for her, in fact, than he was when he was
happy
with her.

He swallowed the moisture that had pooled in his throat, taking himself under a firm grip and tugging fast.  He wasn’t trying to take his time to the thought of her.  Not tonight.

He was too pissed off.

If she wanted to play hardball, he’d give her the match of her life.

He’d let her feel what it was like without him.  She’d never felt it before, because he’d never allowed her to.  Those days were done.  He knew it was now or never. 

Lila
had
to lose him to realize how badly she needed him.  Once she did, she’d never let it happen again.

When a knock came through his bedroom door, he hadn’t finished, but he was thankful.  Maybe his roommate had something planned for tonight, something that involved copious amounts of alcohol.  Something that involved not beating his meat to a woman who seemed determined to never have him in the way he ached to be had.

Chase needed to get out.  He needed to forget.

Sitting up in his bed, he tucked himself away, hiding his erection by bending his knees under the sheets.

“Come in,” he said, straightening up.

Instead of Ronnie, Julie came charging in, eyes lowered.

Chase flew out of the bed.

The last time he’d seen Julie was when she’d stormed out after he’d accidentally said Lila’s name.   He almost laughed.  Just one more thing to add to the million and one ways
Professor James
had completely taken over his life, and his psyche.

“Yo, Jules.  You look nice today.” He was genuinely happy to see Julie.  She was always an easy diversion.  Maybe she’d even let him hit.  He needed the release.

He smiled, watching as she turned away from him to close his bedroom door behind her.

“It’s good to see you…” His words dragged off when Julie turned back to him and met his eyes. 

The whites of her brown eyes were fire engine red. 

His smile vanished.  “What’s the matter?”

She breathed deep once, twice, three times. 

Finally, she spoke.  “They raped me.”

He visibly jolted.  He didn’t know what he’d been expecting her to say, but that sure as hell hadn’t been it.

“What?” He cringed. “Who?”

Julie’s body trembled from head to toe.  “I said no, but...” Her cries intensified when he wrapped her in his arms, upgrading to full on sobs.  “I wasn’t going to say anything, but--I can’t sleep.”

Chase’s body shook with hers as she cried.  “When did this happen?”

Her eyes rose to his from under the lids, tears soaking his chest.  “The day you said that girls name while we were in bed. 
Lila.
”  She said the name with distain before her face collapsed into tears once more.

“Stop… Hey.”  He softly pushed her away.  “Listen to me. Breathe. Take a minute.”  He gave her that minute and then pressed on.  “We’re leaving.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“We’re leaving.”

“Where are we going?”

“I know someone who can help you.”

“I don’t want any help.”

“She can help you with that too.  Move your ass.”  He snatched open the door to his room and watched impatiently as she shuffled forward.  He followed her out and nodded his greeting to Ronnie, sitting on the couch as they passed him in the living room.

“Hey…” Ronnie called, his eyes falling helplessly to the ass of Julie’s jeans as she and Chase walked hurriedly out of the apartment.  “Where’s the fire?” he grumbled, just before the front door slammed closed behind them.

--

He was a live wire.

That was what Chase had become to Lila.  With each day that passed, she could feel the deadly current on the rise between them, intensifying with each moment they allowed their gazes to lock for a bit too long, their bodies to move a bit too close, and their hearts to manifest the affection in their eyes a bit too strongly.

Spurs of flashing light flew out of control from the tip of that live wire, cautioning the deadly dangers of getting too close, the fatal risk of indulging herself in even a single touch. One touch would be one too many. One touch was all it would take.

It would slaughter her effortlessly, completely, and within seconds. It would happen so fast she wouldn’t even have a moment to react.

Lila knew not to get twisted up with that live wire.  She knew, but her curiosity was rapidly overriding her common sense.

It was also doing a serious number on her concentration skills.

She scrolled absently through her manuscript.  She’d hoped giving it another read-through would help her office hours go by faster.  Two hours and not a single student had come knocking.  She was now regretting pulling out her manuscript, at all, because she hated every new word that hit her eyes. How could she expect to be promoted to assistant professor when she couldn’t even stomach reading her own words?  Kelly Hannigan was drowning in books, and Lila couldn’t even finish her second.

She felt like her life was falling to pieces. Writing had always been something that came easy to her, but it was also like an extension of her heart.  When her heart hurt, she couldn’t see the beauty in anything, especially not her writing.

At the moment, her heart was in shambles.

She regretted treating Chase badly.  She just couldn’t see any other way.

When a knock rang out on her office door, followed by the knob turning, Lila shot up out of her chair.  Finally, a student was here, and she had an excuse to pretend her manuscript didn’t exist, to forget about her life, even if only for a few minutes.

The student stepped through the door and met her eyes.  Her stomach exploded with butterflies.  That live wire exploded, too, officially activated, spitting deadly sparks at a rate beyond comprehension. 

“Chase,” she whispered, moving around her desk as he closed the door behind him.  “Hi.”

He leaned against the door, holding her eyes.  “Professor.”

A long moment of silence passed, but their gazes remained locked.

Lila was the first to break. “Chase, I know what happened in the kitchen has you feeling upset. Confused. I feel the same way, but you have to know that it can never happen again. That’s why I was so short with you yesterday.  I have to be. I’m a teacher; you’re my student.  Not to mention that I’ve been in a relationship with your brother--”

His eyes closed.  “As much as I hate every word coming out of your mouth right now…” He opened his eyes.  “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Okay. Why are you here?”

He moved away from the door and pulled it open, waving somebody in.

A girl Lila recognized as one of the many blondes in her Human Sexuality class came sulking in, and Lila fixed her face, standing taller.  She recognized the girl instantly, only because she’d seen this girl shooting looks of venom Chase’s way during every one of her lectures.  Lila thought the two of them must know each other, and were possibly even having sex. In fact, she was
sure
they’d had sex. No woman looked at a man with so much rage as this one did Chase if there wasn’t something sexual going on at the core.

Lila tried to remember her name, and then it hit her.

Julie.

Yes, Lila knew Julie. The girl who spat fire with her eyes, hitting Chase with each shot.  A girl who desperately craved his attention.  Every moment he spent not looking at her in class, Julie’s anger appeared to sink in a little deeper, her cheeks growing a little redder.

“I didn’t realize you had someone with you,” she said, giving Chase a look.

Chase widened his eyes and put his hand on the small of Julie’s back, leading her in.

Lila’s eyes went to Julie.  “Hi, I’m Lila.  I believe you’re a student in my Human Sexuality class this semester?”

“Professor James?” Julie’s eyebrows shot up.  Her eyes flew to Chase, and when they eventually moved back to Lila, they were full of fire.  “
You’re
Lila?”

Lila looked at Chase accusingly. “Don’t believe a word he’s said about me.”

Julie scoffed.

Lila was taken aback. “Contrary to popular opinion around here, I am
not
a total monster.”

Julie turned to Chase, crossing her arms tight.

Lila crossed hers, too.  “What’s going on?”

“Julie needs help.”

“I don’t need help.  Not from her.  Or anyone.”

“What’s happened to you?” Lila demanded, for the first time seeing the distress Julie had done so well to hide away in her eyes.  Lila’s gaze went to Chase.  “Leave us, please.”

“I’ll be right outside. She’s cool,” he said softly, pushing away Julie’s nervous hands as she attempted to stop him from leaving.

Julie finally allowed Chase to go, watching him close the door. She kept her back to Lila.  “I liked him, you know.  I really, really did.”

“I’m sure he likes you very much as well.”

She scoffed again, turning back to her.  “He doesn’t give a fuck.”

“Then why did he bring you here?  Try to be kind to yourself.”

Julie’s eyes traveled Lila’s body, and her cheeks reddened. “What are you, like,
forty
?”

“I’m sure you don’t mean that.”  Lila circled the desk and took her seat, motioning to the empty chairs.  She recognized the venom this young stranger was tossing at her, and it made her ache for the days when she’d counseled the kids at Dalton back in Manhattan.  None of them had been perfect.  They’d all been deliciously deep, flawed, and human.  Julie reminded her so much of them.  Lila found herself smiling at her, hungry to peel away all of her prickly layers.  “Why don’t you have a seat, Julie?”

Taken aback by how calmly her harsh words had been received, Julie faltered, and then hesitantly took her seat.

--

“Lila, thank you for being my lesbian date,
again.”
Chelsea looked over to Lila as they climbed the steps of one of the oldest buildings on campus later that evening.  They were both channeling Vanna White in their slinky black evening gowns.  Lila’s hair was pulled into a neat bun while Chelsea allowed her blonde locks to flow free.

Red flags touting the name of the employee gala hung down from the large white columns that lined the front of the red brick building.

The quarterly gala was exclusive to Harvard faculty, a way for the university to give their thanks, inform them about university updates, and introduce any new leaders that had joined over the semester.  Chelsea was one of the keynote speakers that night and, once again, dateless.

She clutched Lila’s arm in hers as they made their way inside. “You know, we haven’t had a bad date yet.  Is this a sign from God? Maybe we should give this thing a fair shake, you and I.  I think I could get used to the taste of pussy, if I worked hard enough at it.  What do you say?”

Lila laughed out loud as they made their way into the packed ballroom.  It was filled with beautifully decorated tables and chairs.  The color scheme was, predictably, red and black, and there were already hundreds of staff milling about the large open room.  The stage at the end of the room was empty.

Dinner would be served in less than ten minutes, and Lila finally responded as she searched for their nametags on each table they passed.  “As tempting as that is, Chelsea, the only woman on Earth I know who loves cock more than I do… is you.”

“That’s just downright vulgar.”

“What can I say? You bring it right out of me.” Lila waved her clutch with a small smile.

“On a scale of one to ten, how badly has your being my lesbian date to all of these events affected your sex life?”

“Well, I’ve missed out on at least a dozen Friday night dates.  So I’d say we’re running a solid seven on a scale of one to ten.  Easy.”