B0161IZ63U (A) (41 page)

He cupped her ass and held her steady, pounding harder.

Her heels locked at his waist as she met him thrust for thrust.  “Chase,
yes
, baby. 
Fuck,
” she whimpered, a frown creasing her eyebrows as the warm pleasure became almost too much to bear.

He moaned, gritting his teeth.  He was unable to maintain a gentle pace. The beautiful sight of her knees high, spreading for him completely, unraveled him to the seams.  He pounded her hard, fast, so entranced at how good she felt that he almost forgot to breathe, gasping heavily between intense waves of desire.

“Will you marry me?”  Tears came to his eyes.

Moisture pooled in her own eyes, as well, and she nodded ever so softly.  “Yeah,” she whispered, purring when his lips met hers.  She tilted her head and took him in, sucking his plush lips eagerly, her soft whimpers coming in time with each taste of his tongue, each thrust of his hips.

He pulled his lips away and wrapped his arms around her tightly, growing hard from where he was still embedded inside her, ready for round two.  “I never want to live without you.”

“You’ll never have to.”  She kissed the side of his neck and took his earlobe between her teeth, moaning deeply as he began to move once again.

He was truly insatiable.  She didn’t know how she would ever be able to keep up with him.

She couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life trying.

--

After peeking down the hallway, both ways, Lila stumbled out of the bathroom, her heels clicking against the church floors as she pulled him out the door after her.

“Sex in a church bathroom,” Chase said, looking down at his suit to make sure it was back to wedding condition.  “I hope we didn’t just commit some cardinal sin.”

She fixed his tie as he straightened his shirt and belt.  “It was all love.  How could love so pure be a sin?”

“If it was a sin, then send me straight to hell.”

She slapped his shoulder, giggling as she accepted his lips.  “Stop making jokes like that in church.  God is listening.”

“He’s watching, too.” Chase wagged his eyebrows.

“Stop.”
She slapped him, again, and then shoved him.  “Get out of here.  I’m sure the wedding party is wondering where you’ve disappeared to.”

He took her hand as he backed away, holding her eyes.  “Let’s go ring shopping tonight.  After the reception.”

She couldn’t wipe the stupid grin from her face.  “Okay. Sounds good.”

“I love you.”

If it was possible, her stupid grin grew.  “I love you, too.”  When they just stood, arms outstretched, clutching hands, she pushed, releasing his fingers.  “Go,” she beamed.

He backed away from her, matching her grin with one of his own, only looking back when he ran into the wall behind him.

Lila laughed and watched him go, smiling at her over his shoulder until he disappeared around the corner.  She pressed her head against the stained glass behind her, sighing deeply and taking in the beautiful architecture.  The vaulted ceilings made the space feel airy and welcoming.  She became captivated by the art that adorned the domed ceilings and stretched all the way down to the floor.

There was so much to see.  She knew it would take hours to appreciate it all.

Still, she did her best to take in as much as she could, sighing again as her eyes moved along the wall. When those eyes landed on Jack Almeida, she gasped.

He was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hall, a few feet away from her, with his hands deep in the pockets of his flawless gray tuxedo.  A gray silk bowtie finished the look, with a perfectly pressed gray pocket square to match.

She held her breath.  Jack had always been a breathtaking sight.

“I didn’t see you there.” She stood a little taller, looking the opposite way down the hall, where Chase had just disappeared, and then back to Jack.  “I know what you did.  I know you’re the reason Harvard did a total three-sixty on me.”

He pushed off the wall, hands still in his pockets, and made his way over to her with long, patient strides.  As he moved, he took a hand from his pocket and unbuttoned his jacket, revealing the steel gray vest underneath.

“Thank you,” Lila said, clutching her bag in her hands.  “You didn’t have to support me, and I can’t imagine the risk you took to do it.   They really fought me hard on this, and for you to get in line behind me? Jack.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

He didn’t stop moving until he was directly in front of her.

When he came in close enough for her to see the designs in his eyes, she pushed back against the wall once more.

“Lila.  If you give me the word, I’ll call it off.”

Lila’s eyes widened and her lips parted.  She prayed for the right words to say, but even in a church, those prayers went unanswered.  Perhaps the gods above had decided that she’d done this to herself, so she would have to deal with it herself. As she took in the wounded gleam in Jack’s brown eyes, she realized they wouldn’t be wrong.

He watched her mouth before licking his own.  His eyes rose to hers. 

She yearned to speak, but only a sputter came out.

“You’re in my skin.” He licked his lips again.  He wanted to reach out and touch her but was so plagued with emotion he couldn’t find the strength.  “You’re in my
bones
.”

“You’re about to be married.”

“I’m not married yet.”

Lila shook her head and looked off.

His eyes searched hers.  “Do you really love him?”

“Do you?” She couldn’t believe her ears.  “You’re about to have a wife, he’s your brother, and we’re back to this?”

“I think it’s been the question on all of our minds for long enough.  The answer is simple Lila.  Do you love him or don’t you?”

“Jack? Stop.”

“It’s simple. I love you.  I want you.  I will walk out of this church next to you.  It’s that simple for me.” He took a deep breath. “If it’s not that simple for you, then I’ll walk away… I’ll walk away right now.  I’ll never look back.”

Lila’s eyes searched his, and then narrowed away, staying riveted to the wall behind him.

Jack’s eyes watered.  “Say it.”

Lila’s eyes came back to his and watered as well.

He faltered.  “She thinks I came to Cambridge to get married.  She thinks I came to accept a job.  I might’ve even convinced myself I came for those reasons.  I convinced myself that was true.”  His voice broke.  “I came here for you.” He frowned.

Lila jammed her eyes closed.

“And I need to hear you say it, Lila.”  He couldn’t move on until she said it.  He knew it, and so did she.

So she opened her eyes.  She gazed into his, which were rapidly filling with moisture, and she said it.

“I love Chase.”

His eyes fluttered shut.  He breathed in.

“I love him.”  Her eyes grew pained.  “He proposed to me, and I said yes.”

He breathed deep once more before his eyes opened.  They searched hers.  He must have seen the truth there, the honesty. Because he reared back.  A long moment passed before he re-buttoned his jacket and adjusted his tie.  He looked to his feet, running his hand slowly through his hair.  He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“Okay,” he said, before making his way down the hall.

Lila watched him go, clawing her nails into the wall behind her as he did.

--

Jack frowned into the floor mirror situated between two stained glass windows, audibly groaning as he attempted to straighten his tie.  Every so often, his eyes would meet Chase’s in the mirror, the only person in his wedding party.

Chase met his eyes, too, and he smiled from where he was leaning forward on a chair in the minister’s office.

“You okay?” Chase asked, raising his eyebrows as distress washed over Jack’s face.

“I’m good.”

“Yeah?  ‘Cause you’re looking a little… purple.”

“I’m good.”

Even as Jack did what he did best, closed the world away, Chase stood and crossed the room to him, swatting his hands away from the tie.

“A mess.  Move. 
Move
,” he demanded.

With a sigh, Jack turned to face him, allowing him to undo the bow tie.

“I should have just let you do it in the first place,” Jack said, still in awe that he no longer had to look down at Chase when they were standing face to face.  “You were always the best at these things.”  He smirked.  “Remember when Dad would be too wasted to do it himself?”

“When wasn’t Dad wasted?” Chase whispered, focusing on the tie.  “The bastard performed open heart surgeries wasted.  If he were still alive, he’d be wasted right now.”

Jack searched his face.  “You’ve come really far.”

Chase slowed down on tying the tie, just long enough to meet Jack’s eyes, and then he went back to work, eyes falling.

“I’m very proud of you,” Jack said.  “I don’t say it enough.”

“I’m proud of you, too.” Chase shook his head when the tie wasn’t perfect enough for his liking.  He undid it completely and started over.  “You’ve made some pretty big strides yourself.”

“I haven’t moved an inch.”

“What are you talking about?  You’re getting married in less than ten minutes, and you haven’t moved an inch?”  Chase wasn’t nearly as surprised by Jack’s words as he was pretending to be.

“You really think marriage is for me?  Cambridge?”

Chase undid the tie, again.  “I can’t answer that, man.”

“Maybe I’m just meant to be drunk and angry, rotting away in that brownstone in Manhattan.  Maybe I’ll even take my dutiful wife down with me.  Just like he did.”

Chase stopped tying the tie completely and stared at it while taking a heaving breath.  Finally, he met Jack’s eyes, once more.  His fingers tightened around the silky fabric.  Then he tugged, making Jack’s head fall back slightly, studying his serious eyes.  “You’re not Dad,” he said.  “You could have gotten rid of me the moment they died. Instead, you made the decision to commute from New York to Cambridge, to nearly kill yourself finishing law school a year early, just to stay in my life.  You could have pawned me off on Grams and Frank.  You didn’t.  You could have beat the shit out of me every time I had a smart mouth.  You didn’t.  You could have taken even more from me than he did.  You didn’t. All you’ve ever done is give to me, Jack.”

“You’re wrong.  I tried,” Jack said.  “I tried hard to take from you.”

Chase licked his lips, going back to the tie.  “She’s different,” he whispered. 

“I told her I loved her and asked her to leave this church with me.”

Chase stopped tying again, gripping the fabric once more.

“Does that sound like a man who won’t take from you?”

“You’re not Dad.”  Chase kept his eyes down, too afraid of what he might do if he looked up at his brother.

“She said no.  Just in case you were wondering,” Jack breathed.  “Said she loved you.”

Chase jammed his eyes shut.

“Of course she wasn’t telling me a god damned thing I didn’t already know,” Jack said.

“Don’t say god damn in a church.”

“What kind of brother tries to take from his own?”  Jack’s voice shook.  “I kept trying to make the pieces fit, but they never did, did they?  She was always yours.  I knew it, but it never stopped me.”

“Jack…” Chase licked his lips.  “You’re a good person.”

Jack looked off, staring at the stained glass windows as if it held all the answers.

Chase shook him, again, waiting until he had his eyes.  “You’re a damn good person,” he said.  “You’ve never hurt me intentionally, and I know that.  If I could say the same for myself, I would, but I can’t even do that. I’ve hurt you on purpose, more times than I can count, but you’ve never done the same to me.  You’re not a bad person, Jack.  You just have to figure out how to face what’s happening here.” He tapped his knuckle against Jack’s pocket square, shaking his head.  “Don’t run from it.  Don’t look for its perfect match.  Face it.  Or you’ll never stop spinning.”

This time, Jack’s eyes fell closed.

“If you don’t face that monster,” Chase said.  “You’ll never know what it takes to defeat it.”

Jack’s eyes slowly opened and filled.  “I love you.”

Chase finished the tie, slapping Jack’s back and turning him towards the mirror when he was done.

“I love you too, Jack.”  He gave the tie one more shift, meeting Jack’s eyes in the reflection.  “Always.” 

--

The conversation with Jack in the hallway still shook Lila. Even as she sat at the end of the church’s third row pew, watching as the Minister spoke between Jack and Kelly.

They stood facing each other at the altar, their hands clutched so tightly Lila had to wonder if they were hurting each other.

Jack seemed distracted.  Whenever those troubled eyes of his moved away from his wife-to-be, and out into the church, they always seemed to land right on Lila.  They were a little more manic each time they met hers across the church.

When his gaze hit hers for what had to be the tenth time, a few of the wedding goers actually turned in their seats and looked in her direction.  They were wondering what the hell had stolen the groom’s undivided attention.  Surely his eyes, which looked curiously heated, should have been riveted to his soon-to-be wife, and not some random church guest?

Thankfully, the nosey guests who’d turned in their seats didn’t seem to have any idea Jack was looking at Lila.  Their eyes jumped all over the place, but none zeroed in on her.

Still, she had the distinct urge to slump down in that bench, cover her face with her hand, and disappear.  She fought that urge, exhaling in relief when Jack finally looked back at Kelly.

He’d been shifty for the entire bridal march, had stumbled his way through his short, awkward vows, and currently looked like he’d, only just now, been blasted with the news that he was getting married today.

When Kelly spoke, she managed to steal back Jack’s attention.

“I, Kelly,” she said, repeating the minister’s words.

Jack’s eyes widened.

It was seconds from being official.

“Take thee, Jack,” the minister said.  Even he was eyeing Jack suspiciously now.