Babies in the Bargain (11 page)

Holly wasn’t a conquest. She was someone he’d enjoy spending time with. A mature person, a brilliant young doctor.

His eyes skimmed her delicate features, rested on her lips for a few seconds and then trailed down to her décolletage.

Madre de Dios
, who was he fooling? She was simply a gorgeous woman.

They were both in their thirties, mature and reasonable. Why couldn’t they get along well, have a little bit of fun? And if things worked out, he was ready to forget his no-commitment rule for the right to keep Holly in his arms.

But would she be willing to accept him?      

He cleared his throat, not knowing how to phrase his question. “Holly, are you upset about the past? I mean you seemed to resent me when I came back to WCH.” He glanced at her and met an incredulous gaze.

She’d been upset all right.

Marc forgot to eat. “I explained in my letters that I had obligations.”

She nodded and concentrated on her food. “Why are you rehashing old stories?”

“Because something is obviously bothering you about the past.”

“Listen, we dated a few times.” Her voice wobbled and then firmed. “You went back home and got busy with other things. And that was it.”

“No, that’s not exactly what happened. Holly, I really cared about you.”

“Oh, please.” She dropped both her fork and knife on her plate. The clanging noise of metal on porcelain reverberated in the air. “Don’t give me that bullshit now.”

“Holly, I mean it. You were very special to me.” He reached for her hand on the table. She closed her fingers and pulled back.

“Really? Is that why you kissed a nurse in your office the night before you left?”

He watched her fist tightened and guessed her temptation to throw it in his face.

Raising his eyebrows, he fixed a speculative gaze on her. “
Dios,
it was probably a simple goodbye hug. I can’t even remember which nurse you’re talking about. So many came to wish me well. Don’t tell me you got upset over it?”

“Why should I have been surprised, considering that, at the time, you were the heartthrob of the hospital. Students and nurses flocked around you.”

 Marc shot her a startled glance and frowned for a speechless moment. “I kissed many girls during my heyday as a resident. But that was before I started going out with you.”

“No, Marc. I saw her hanging on your neck. An hour after we’d been together, I went back to your office to give you a little gift.”

“Oh? Holly, why didn’t you say something at the time?”

She shrugged. “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”

“But we exchanged letters. You never mentioned it. I would have explained.” He sucked in a deep breath. Had he been so insensitive? Judging by the shadow of sadness in her eyes, he’d made a real mess back then.
Damn it
. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. That was never my intention.”

“It’s all in the past,” she said in the soothing voice she probably used with the parents of her little patients. She didn’t even seem to resent him. But he knew better. She had avoided him as if he could transmit germs on sight.

Her head tilted to the side, she stared at him like a porcelain statue, beautiful but cold. His fingers clenched on his fork to refrain from caressing her hair. She hadn’t asked for explanations, but as a doctor, he felt the need to disinfect old wounds.

“Let me explain the scene you’d witnessed. Several girls came to say goodbye. Some of these women were quite aggressive. But none was special to me. They hugged and kissed and wished me the best. That was it. I couldn’t throw them out when they were just being nice. Beside I was going away the next day.” He covered her fisted hand. It slowly relaxed. “You were the only one I wrote to.”

“A few lines to tell me you were extremely busy.” She pushed the croutons of her salad to the side of her plate with nervous little taps.

“I was. Honestly. My father’s health was failing. And then both my sister and Carlos had some, hmm, problems. But I wrote again as soon as I could.”

“Three letters in a year. Not that I’m blaming you. I didn’t have a free minute myself.”

“That’s what I thought. It didn’t make sense to keep a long distance relationship going when I knew that we couldn’t...I mean we wouldn’t...have time for...for more.”

“Exactly.”

He didn’t like her bitter smile. He tried to capture her gaze, but she kept looking at the damn croutons as if she were studying a medical sample.

“But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you. In fact there wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you.”

“Come on.” She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Oh, yes. At least for the first two years,” he specified, a thorny regret twisting his insides. “When you never answered my last letter, I gave up and started flirting right and left to forget you.”

“That I can well imagine.” A sarcastic smile played on her lips.

She certainly didn’t harbor a good opinion about his character. He wasn’t at liberty to divulge the series of scandals his family had faced and the shame that muddied the Suarez name until he had repaired the damage. But he could at least explain his compulsive search for fun. An effective antidote to the troubles that had poisoned his life.

“Holly, you know firsthand that medicine is a tough field. The long hours, the stress. I was working like a madman. I saw death on a regular basis.”
And an alcoholic father in a wheelchair, pathetic and loud
. “I never thought twice about taking a bit of pleasure wherever I could find it. It was all part of the hectic life, part of growing up.”

Her lips puckered in a grimace. “No shit. I’m used to medical stress, Marc. I’m still in deep water now.”

“Yes, I know.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “But I’ve changed now. Trudging the poor areas of San Juan forced me to see life differently. And the old problems were settled.”

Gabriella kept her baby, married a wonderful man, and had three more kids. Carlos went on to finish college and met Lydia. But their poor Papa had died.

“Maybe one day I’ll be at liberty to explain.”

Right now, he didn’t have the strength to discuss his family’s problems. Besides, with Carlos buried a few weeks ago, he couldn’t expose his siblings’ mistakes. Or betray his family.

“You don’t have to.” She arched a skeptical eyebrow.

Words—even words from the heart—were not enough to convince her. He’d have to prove himself.

She flipped her hand in the air, in an I’ve-heard-it-all-before gesture. “I can deal with charming playboys. My father belonged to that club.”

“Your father? Is he...deceased?”

“To me. I haven’t seen him in twenty years. He left when I was ten and never asked for visitation rights.”

The bitterness of her words twisted at his guts. It was even worse than he thought. Holly was convinced he was nothing but a lecher, a younger version of her father.

“I’m sorry about your father. But for us, it was seven years ago. We’ve both changed. Matured.”

He knew he had. He didn’t need to flirt to forget the pain of losing his only brother. Having Holly with him was the only soothing his wounded soul hungered for. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

Holly’s heart somersaulted. Heat spread from her fingers, ran through her arms. His devastating smile was back in place, but without the hint of arrogance that used to put her on edge. A glint of affection reflected in his chocolate eyes.

Could it be possible?

“Yes, we have.” Under the table, she scraped her heels back and forth against the tiles. “Yes, of course. We’ve matured. You are the eminent anesthesiologist WCH hired, and I’m no longer a student.”

What was he getting at with these explanations and veiled apologies?

Would he ask her out again?

Good God, but this new Marc was more dangerous to her inner peace than the playboy of the past.

You can always say no
.

She’d agreed to stop for a quick dinner because she was hungry and didn’t particularly like the bar’s limited selections. Besides, she was sure Marc was going to quiz her about Paulito’s health, accommodations, and habits. But he hadn’t mentioned the baby since they’d settled to eat.

He’d talked about her. And about him. As if they were a couple. She hadn’t even tugged her hand out of his.

“Sweetie, I wasn’t referring to our careers, although, I don’t doubt we’re both on our way to bright futures. I meant–”

“Yes, I understand.” She was suddenly afraid to hear more explanations that would muddle her thoughts and melt her heart.

He glanced at his watch and released her hand. “It’s already 8:30. Shouldn’t you join our friends?”

Their friends? She’d completely forgotten about them. They were colleagues, not friends. “Yeah. I should go.”

She reluctantly stood, slowly collected her purse, and slid out of the booth.

Darn, she was expected for a drink at their favorite bar not a dental extraction.
Move it
. She walked to the door and stepped out into the night.

Marc took her arm, guiding her across the street toward the brightly lit bar. She paused at the door. “Thank you for the dinner.”

“Thank you for listening.”

“Losing someone is like having a huge hole in your life. If you need to talk, I’ll be there.” He’d asked her to be his friend before he left for the funerals.

A long time ago, she’d lost her heart to a playboy, just like her mother, but she’d smothered her feelings, learned from her mistakes, and carried on. Nothing on earth could distract her from her medical career.

Holly shrugged. The past was gone. Besides, Marc had matured into an eminent doctor. Friends forgave each other, helped each other.

She was ready to be Marc’s friend.

“Thank you.” He took her hand between both of his and brought it to his lips. “Have fun tonight, sweetie.”

* * *

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...” Holly crooned as she kissed the baby on his cheek, the next morning. Rocking Paulito in her arms granted her a serenity she’d never experienced before. When the little angel stared at her with chocolate eyes so similar to his uncle’s, her insides went all mushy.

“Nice to see you relaxed,” Stacey commented as she took the baby to change him.

“It’s such a gorgeous day.” Holly waved with a flourish at the window shimmering with light. In spite of the half-closed blinds, the sunrays poured into the room. A similar brightness flooded her heart. Of course, it had nothing to do with Marc coming back without a wife, telling her she was special, kissing her hand with such tenderness.

Who cares.
I’m just happy today
.

“I guess now that Dr. Suarez is here, you won’t have to be stuck at the hospital day and night. It’s not easy to handle the responsibility of a brand-new baby that’s not yours.”

“Hmm. Yes. But I’m so fond of this little sweetheart.” It was going to be damn hard letting go of
her
baby. Holly sighed, wishing she could keep him with her longer.

“I can understand your feelings. Paulito is so easy to love. We’ll see what Dr. Suarez decides for him.”

Frankly, Holly wasn’t sure Marc would manage any better than she had. Problem was, if he didn’t, he might end up sending Paulito to Puerto Rico. Holly’s stomach flipped at the thought of never seeing the baby again.

“I’m going to the NICU. You’re in charge until noon.”

In the hall, Holly almost bumped into Marc.

“Morning, Holly, I was on my way to see Paulito.”

His jet-black hair curled smoothly at the base of his neck. Nicely disheveled, totally unprofessional, but so becoming. She itched to run her fingers through the silky strands. Scratching her palm, she inwardly snorted at her inappropriate longing.

“Did you have a nice evening at the bar?”

“Of course. It was a lot of fun. A great evening.”

“You don’t have to repeat it so many times. I’m convinced.” Marc’s lips twitched in a chuckle. “Did you dance with Chris or Jeff or one of the others?”

“Yes, I did.”

Two dances that turned into a disaster, with her thoughts twirling around Marc and their earlier conversation. She’d stomped on Jeff’s foot with her high heels during a fast rock. The poor fellow had limped back to their table while she’d drowned him in apologies. And then a slow dance with Chris that she interrupted because she kept imagining herself in Marc’s arms and almost cried with disappointment when Chris laid his cheek against hers.

Fun time indeed
.

Chris had ruined her evening by babbling about her life going back to normal now that Marc would handle his nephew and reorganizing her schedule to accommodate the fun projects he’d planned for them. During dinner, Holly had chewed on her cheek more than on the steak.

“Sweetie, are you planning to slap someone? You should see your expression. Brr, I’m scared.” Marc took a big step back, shaking his hands in mock fear.