Baby, Come Back

For the Hoffman women: Joan, Pam and Vicki.

Thanks for the love, the support and for making me one of your own.

“P
regnant?” Alice Dougherty repeated, sucking in a sharp, surprised breath. “Are you sure?”

The teenage girl sitting across the desk from her wiped at the tears on her cheeks and nodded. “I went to the doctor.”

Alice eased against her chair back and crossed her legs, working to hide her dismay and disappointment. Any overt sign of criticism and the teenager would bolt. And the fragile bond she'd struggled to form with Sheri Kane would be broken.

She cleared her throat. “How far along are you?”

The girl lifted her gaze to Alice's, then dropped it to her lap once more. She twisted her fingers together. “Nine weeks.”

Seventeen years old and nine weeks pregnant.
Sympathy flooded Alice. She understood Sheri's feelings only too well. She had found herself in the same position at nineteen.

Alice cleared her throat again, fighting to maintain her professional distance, to keep herself from becoming emotional. A feat she found difficult with all the kids she worked with here at Hope House, but one she found particularly difficult with Sheri. In the girl she saw too much of herself at the same age. “Have you told your father yet?”

Sheri looked up, her cheeks brightening with anger. “Oh, right. I've a got a big picture of this, me with my butt out on the street.” Sheri folded her arms across her middle. “No way am I telling him!”

Alice moved her gaze over the girl, her chest tight with sympathy. Looking at Sheri Kane, the casual observer would think her the typical all-American girl next door: medium-brown hair styled in a pixie cut, big blue eyes, pretty features and a slim build. That same casual observer would assume Sheri Kane lived in a lovely home in the suburbs, that her mom baked apple pies and her nine-to-five father doted on her. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sheri's bright, pretty face masked a well of sorrow, the scars from a life of indifference and abuse.

Just another way that Sheri reminded her of herself.

Alice folded her hands in her lap. “You don't know for sure he'll kick you out.”

“Oh no?” The girl jerked her chin up. “He's been telling me he would since I first got my period. ‘You get yourself knocked up, girl,'” she mimicked bitterly, “‘and you're out on your butt.' I figured I'd just wait until I couldn't hide the truth anymore.”

And then what will you do?
“Sheri, I don't think that's the best way to— ”

“You're not going to change my mind,” Sheri interrupted, cocking her chin a fraction more, the picture of defiance.

Alice tried another tack. “What about the baby's father? What are his feelings?”

Sheri's chin drooped, her defiance and anger evaporating like air out of a balloon. She wrung her hands. “I haven't told Jeff yet. I...” She looked at Alice, her eyes swimming with tears. “I can't. I mean, what if he hates me when he finds out? What if he's...angry? What if he— ” She burst into tears and dropped her face into her hands, her shoulders shaking with the sobs.

Alice rounded the desk and put her arms around the girl. “It's okay, sweetie. We'll work through this. We will. And everything will be okay.”

“I don't think so. I don't think anything will ever be...okay again.”

“Oh, Sheri...” Alice stroked her hair. “I know it feels hopeless now, but these things have a way of working out. Trust me.”

Sheri didn't respond, and Alice continued to stroke her hair and murmur sounds of comfort. After a time, the girl's sobs abated, becoming soft mewls of despair. The hopeless sounds pulled at Alice's heartstrings even more than the racking sobs had, and she held her a bit tighter.

When Sheri grew quiet, her breathing, finally, only slightly ragged, Alice dropped her arms and eased away. She tipped the girl's face up to hers and smiled reassuringly. “Feel a little better now?”

Sheri's eyes filled again. “Not really,” she whispered, hiccuping.

Alice's heart went out to her as she saw the girl fight the tears spilling over. Sheri Kane was made of tough stuff.

Alice reached for the box of tissues she kept on her desk and handed it to the girl. Sheri took it, selected a tissue and pressed it to her eyes.

“I've messed up everything. As usual.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “I feel so dumb. So stupid and useless.”

Those were Sheri's parents' words. Their thoughts. Just as they had been her own parents'. Anger surged through Alice, and she struggled to get a grip on it. “You're not dumb,” she said fiercely, catching Sheri's hands, forcing the girl to meet her eyes. “You're not useless. Unplanned pregnancies have been happening to women since the beginning of time. You have to tell Jeff.”

“I can't. I just...can't.”

“This is Jeff's baby, too. You have decisions to make. Together.” She squeezed Sheri's fingers more tightly. “This problem is not going to go away.”

“But— ”

“You say you love him, Sheri. Trust is a big part of love. You have to trust him.”

“I know.” Sheri looked away, battling tears. “But I love him so much. I couldn't bear it if he...if he got angry with me. If he...” She bit her lower lip.

“What, Sheri? You couldn't bear it if he what?”

“Dumped me.”

Sheri had expressed her deepest fear, Alice realized. Of course she expected anger and rejection from Jeff, her parents had never given her anything but.

“Have you ever loved anybody so much?” Sheri asked, slipping her hands from Alice's to brush the tears from her cheeks. “So much you thought you would die if you lost them?”

Hayes.
Alice caught her breath as his image flooded her memory, pain with it. Hayes smiling, laughing. Hayes holding her, stroking her, listening to her dreams. Hayes telling her goodbye.

Tears pricked her eyes, and she blinked against them, horrified. How could his rejection still hurt so much now, twelve years after the fact? She shook her head. She'd gotten over her feelings for him long ago.

Sheri shredded the tissue. “Have you, Miss A.?”

“Yes,” she answered after another moment, softly. “Once. I was nineteen.”

Sheri leaned toward her, distracted for a moment by curiosity. “What happened?”

“He...dumped me. And just like you, I thought I would die when I lost him. I felt like I was dying. But I didn't.” She forced a smile. “Obviously.”

“But...how did you go on?” Sheri shook her head. “I don't think I could.”

Alice thought of those days, their pain, the hopelessness she'd felt. She'd thought they would never end. But they had. Finally.

“I just did,” Alice murmured. “And one day I woke up and realized that I was okay. That it didn't hurt so much anymore. After that, with each day I felt better.”

“You're stronger than I am, Miss A. I couldn't bear it— I know I couldn't.”

Although she believed differently, Alice didn't argue with the girl, but instead shifted the subject again. “Is Jeff's father part of the reason you're afraid to tell Jeff about the baby?”

Sheri nodded, her eyes flooding with fresh tears. “I told you how he tried to break me and Jeff up. He hates me. He doesn't think I'm good enough for Jeff. When he learns I'm pregnant, I'm afraid he'll find a way to...do it. Break us up for good.”

Alice drew in a quiet breath, acknowledging the anger she felt every time Sheri talked about Jeff's father. Sheri was a bright and lovely girl. A courageous girl who had overcome great odds to get where she was today. That Jeff's cold, elitist father could reject her simply because of her family situation struck a raw, a personal, nerve in Alice.

Even as she'd worked to help Sheri cope with her hurt over the man's prejudice, she'd wanted to find Mr. High-and-Mighty and give him a piece of her mind.

“Jeff says the other lawyers call him ‘Bradford-the-cold-heart.' Jeff can't wait to go off to college to get away from him.”

It couldn't be.
Alice caught her breath. “Jeff's last name is...Bradford?”

“Uh-huh.” Sheri drew her eyebrows together, concerned. “Miss A., are you all right?”

“And his father's an attorney?” she asked, ignoring the girl's question, her heart thundering.

Sheri nodded, and Alice sucked in a sharp breath.
Hayes. It couldn't be. But it was.

The man Sheri had raged about all these months was the same man who had so coldly rejected her. And Sheri's Jeff was little Jeffy. The boy she had once cuddled, the boy she had fantasized would one day call her “Mommy.”

She'd often wondered about Jeff, wondered what kind of young man he had grown into, if he had ever thought of her. When she'd known him he had desperately needed a mother and she had desperately needed to be one. She had never forgiven Hayes for allowing her to fall in love with his son. It hadn't been fair to her or to Jeff.

Alice squeezed her fingers into fists. Dear Lord, why hadn't she ever asked Jeff's last name? All these months...she hadn't known.

She lowered her gaze to her clenched hands. Why should she have suspected that Jeff's father was Hayes Bradford, attorney-at-law and coldhearted bastard? After all, it had been twelve years since he'd been a part of her life. And in that time he hadn't sought her out even once.

“Excuse me, Miss A.?”

Alice turned her gaze to the doorway and the young man standing there. “Yes, Rob?”

“Tim's here. Hey, Sheri.”

For a moment Alice drew a blank. Then, remembering her next appointment, she forced a smile. “Thanks, Rob. I'll be just a couple more minutes.”

“Okay. But— ” The boy shifted his gaze to his feet, obviously uncomfortable. “I don't think Tim's...feeling very well today.”

Stoned. Again.
Alice bit back a sound of frustration and disappointment. They'd all worked so hard to help Tim get straight. “Thanks, Rob. I appreciate the warning.”

Sheri grabbed her book bag and jumped up. “If Tim's coming in here high, I'm booking.” She shuddered. “He gives me the creeps.”

Alice looked at the youngster in surprise. Sheri got along with everybody here at Hope House. She was one of the most well-liked teenagers in the program, and Alice had never heard her speak ill of any of the other kids.

“Is there a problem between you and Tim?”

The teenager shrugged. “I don't know. Not really. It's just that...” Sheri caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “There's just something about him that makes me feel kinda...funny.”

Alice frowned. “Has he ever come on to you or, you know, threatened you in any way?”

Sheri shook her head, then glanced over her shoulder at the door. “No. I gotta go.”

Troubled, Alice followed Sheri's gaze. Was this nothing? Or something? She filed that question away for later and forced a smile. “You'll think about what I said? About talking to Jeff?”

The teenager sighed and started for the door. “Yeah. Sure.”

“And, Sheri?” The girl stopped and looked back at her. “Don't forget I'm here for you. Okay?”

Sheri hesitated a moment, then nodded and ducked out of the office.

* * *

Hayes Bradford stood at Hope House's front gate and gazed up at the rambling, ramshackle old Victorian mansion. So this was where Alice spent her days, he thought. Where the twelve years since he'd seen her last had brought her, where she did her good deeds.

And where they would meet again.

A tightness settled in his chest and Hayes frowned. Twelve years ago he'd made a decision that had been the best for both of them. Especially for her. He made no excuses for that decision; he'd never allowed himself to look back even on the days when he'd missed her so much he had ached.

But he'd hurt her. Badly. And he regretted that with all his heart.

Hayes made a sound of frustration. She'd been too young to see how wrong they'd been for each other, too young to realize the truth about him. About life. They never should have become involved in the first place.

He shook his head. He'd known that at the time, but it hadn't made a bit of difference— he'd been unable to deny his overpowering attraction to her.

It still struck him as crazy. Irrational. He shouldn't have been attracted to her. Everything about her had been foreign to his nature— her background, her age, her outlook on life.

She'd been smart as a whip, with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue. The chip on her shoulder had rivaled Plymouth Rock in size.

But the wit, tongue and chip, he'd learned, had masked an achingly vulnerable and sensitive young woman. She'd felt everything deeply and to her core. He'd likened her to a prickly pear— prickly on the outside with a sweet, soft center. A center that was easily bruised. Too easily for a man the likes of him.

He drew his eyebrows together, remembering. He'd never understood how she managed it. After the childhood she'd had, after the abuse she'd suffered, how had she managed to remain soft inside? How had she continued to see good in the world and to believe she could better it?

Lord, she'd been beautiful. Fresh and brilliantly alive.

Hayes moved his gaze across the building's front windows. Would she have changed? he wondered. Would he find the same emotional girl he'd known back then? The same girl who had made him remember, if only fleetingly, what it was like to have illusions?

Or would she have grown up? Would life have hardened her clear through— would it have tempered her impossible idealism? He'd wondered about her often over the intervening years; today he would know.

Hayes pushed through the gate and strode up the walk. He shook his head again, this time in an attempt to clear it of the memories tugging at him. Today had nothing to do with his and Alice's past; it wouldn't do for him to forget that. Today he'd come because his son needed him.