Baby on the Way (5 page)

Caitlin sat where she was told, stunned and filled with disbelief.

What had she gotten herself into? She’d meant to get her friends together in the nicest possibly way. A hint, a few words to the right man. Maybe a chance encounter that wasn’t so chance. Just a few little things to encourage her widowed friends to reconsider a couple of men she happened to know were interested.

But this! This would turn into an all-out assault campaign, not unlike guerilla warfare. In spite of her protestations, she knew it was snowballing out of control even now. That was the way Eliza did things. Stan claimed that her brain concocted schemes even though her body was sleeping like a log.

It was true! At this very moment Caitlin could feel Eliza’s mind whirling as she turned from the doorway, her eyes intensely scrutinizing Caitlin’s burgeoning body.

“Hmm,” the older woman murmured, her pen tapping
against the pad. “Widows. Right. Three of you. I’ll have to think about that.”

Fear and trepidation filled Caitlin’s mind. She would probably ruin the only friendships she had left. Then she’d be well and truly alone in a house that was far too big for one woman and one tiny baby. While everyone bustled out with a box, she sat there brooding.

“Caitlin?” Jordan flicked on the overhead light. “What are you doing just sitting here? Is something wrong?”

“Everything,” she whispered, clenching her fist at her side. “Absolutely everything.”

“What do you mean?” His face blanched. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” He waited, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other as he waited for her to answer. “Caitlin?”

She glanced up dazedly, an idea forming in the back of her mind. “It’s your fault, Jordan,” she whispered. “You’re the one who insisted I have them over here. You’re the one who said I needed their help.”

“And?” He frowned. “What’s wrong with that? Honestly, sometimes you make no sense, Lyn. The moving is going really well.”

“That’s nice,” she murmured, nodding absently. “It’s a good idea to get it down to a science.”

“It is?”

“Yes, it is. Because unless you help me get out of this mess, I’ll be moving back here in a matter of days.”

He slid his hand along her forehead, checking the temperature. “Caitlin, are you feeling all right? Can I help?”

“Oh, yes,” she asserted, lurching unsteadily to her feet, her fingers tightening around his helping hand. “You offered and I’m taking you up on that. You’re going to help, Jordan. You’re going to end up helping me a lot.”

“Help you do what?”

He didn’t pull away, but Caitlin could feel him flex his fingers in her tight grasp. She didn’t loosen her grip in the slightest.

“I’ve opened a Pandora’s box, Jordan. And now you’ve got to help me get the lid back on before your family ruins everything. What you’re going to do is keep your mother away from Wintergreen. If that means you have to come over every day, so be it.” Caitlin tumbled it around in her mind as the plan evolved. “She won’t bother me nearly as much if she thinks you’re filling in for her.”

“Huh?” He stood where he was, shaking his head. “I don’t get it.”

“Oh, you will,” she assured him, a tiny smile lifting the edges of her lips. “You most certainly will.”

“Y
ou’re late, Lyn,” Jordan chided Friday night, almost a week later. He straightened from his leaning position against his car and took her arm to walk her to the front door of her new home.

“I know. Two clients showed up after their scheduled times.” She opened the door and ushered him into the foyer. “I just want to change and then we can leave. Where are we having dinner?” she called over her shoulder.

It took only a moment to unlock the door and then they were inside. In the days since Jordan had reentered her life, eating together had become a ritual. He would either show up on her doorstep with take-out food or insist on escorting her to a restaurant. He claimed it was because of his mother. He’d even shown up once for lunch, drawing surprised stares from her co-workers. Now her friends Beth and Maryann were full of questions.

“Have a seat. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” She scooted up the stairs to change clothes.

In some ways Caitlin was grateful for Jordan’s attentions. She hated cooking after a long day at work and would have happily settled for hot buttered toast and tea even though she knew the folly of such a diet. Under Jordan’s insistence she ate a nutritious dinner without all the work of preparing it and none of the tedium of cleaning up afterward.

Then too, there was Eliza. As long as Jordan kept coming over, his mother seemed perfectly happy working on the Thanksgiving decorations for the annual fellowship supper. Caitlin felt confident that if she could only keep abreast of Eliza’s doings, as reported by Jordan, and keep herself out of her motherin-law’s path, she couldn’t possibly divulge any more secrets. The fact that Eliza sent Jordan over to Wintergreen on the most minor of things didn’t bother Caitlin at all. In fact, it was nice to have him to talk to.

But some evenings, like tonight, Caitlin would have preferred to stay at home and read a book in front of the roaring fire in Wintergreen. The old house seemed to wrap its arms around her and she’d felt comfortable there from the first night.

“Lyn? Hey, did you hear anything I just said?”

Jordan’s voice from the bottom of the steps pulled her from her musings and Caitlin tugged on her maternity pants, sweater and sneakers without further hesitation.

“Be there in a minute.”

“How about Giorgio’s?” he called up the stairs.

“Sounds fine to me.” She took a deep breath and let the busyness of work drain away. “I’m ready.”

An hour later, she stared at him across the table in a low-lit family restaurant. It was comfortable but not intimidating and she loved the wonderful pasta dishes Giorgio’s served.

“What did you do today?” she asked, curious about his work. Since he had bounded back into her life, his days seemed to be full of plans for bigger and better computer systems.

“Let’s see. We got that contract in London for the security order, so I’ve been trying to map out exactly how soon we can fill those needs.”

A tremor of fear coursed through her veins. “Does that mean you’re going overseas again?” she queried softly, half afraid to hear his answer.

“Nope.” He grinned that boyish smirk that made him look younger than his twenty-nine years. “Bank securities are my partner Devon’s specialty. When the times comes, he’ll go.”

Caitlin relaxed and then realized that what she really felt was relief. It wasn’t a good sign. She couldn’t allow herself to rely on Jordan. Or anyone else. God intended for her to manage things herself.

“I’ve got a deal pending in Banff that could be a biggie if I can land it,” he told her as they discussed the computer firm Jordan and his friend had built up from scratch.

Caitlin listened as he described a satellite system that would monitor vast areas of the mountainous terrain
enabling park rangers to uncover potential forest fires and tourists lost in remote terrain, in record time.

After several minutes, she was lost in the intricacies of engineering such complex equipment. She sat, dreamy eyed, content to let him ramble on, basking in the warm pungent aromas of garlic, tangy tomato sauce, baking cheese and yeasty bread sticks.

It was several seconds before she realized Jordan had stopped speaking. Instead he was peering at her with a look of concern on his face.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft. “Having more of those hiccup things?”

Caitlin smiled. “No, I’m fine. And they’re Braxton-Hicks contractions, not hiccups.”

She waved a hand at the groups of families scattered through the busy restaurant, their happy chatter a hum of noise in the bustling restaurant.

“I was just thinking of a girl I’ve been counseling. She would give almost anything to be here, with her father, having dinner.” Caitlin fingered the water glass on her place mat. “Actually, Addie reminds me a little of myself at her age,” she admitted.

Jordan grinned. “Oh? She’s stubborn, too?”

“No. It’s because she’s an oddball. Like me.”

His gold-flecked eyes studied her seriously. “Caitlin, you are not an oddball.”

“Yes, I am. Or at least I was. I never fit into the high school cliques. Now I just plain don’t fit into anything.” She giggled at the silly joke, pushing a length of her hair behind her ear as she eyed her bulging tummy, but Jordan didn’t laugh.

Her brow furrowed in concentration as she chewed on her bottom lip, striving to clarify her meaning. “I was different, you see. And nobody had to tell me that. It was something I knew. I didn’t have a family like the other kids, I was just staying with my aunt because there wasn’t anybody else who wanted me. After school, when the others dumped their homework and went out for a shake, I toddled off to my job.”

“Lots of kids have jobs, Caitlin.” Jordan countered.

“Yes, they do,” she agreed. “And many enjoy them. That’s not what I mean.”

He shrugged. “I don’t get it.”

“Not every kid feels they have to contribute something or they’ll lose their home, Jordan.” Caitlin shrugged avoiding his eyes. “I felt I had to earn that money so Aunt Lucy would keep me, so I wouldn’t be a burden. In some sort of weird logic I figured if I made my own money, bought my clothes, looked after things, she wouldn’t mind having me there so much.”

She watched the furrow on his forehead deepen as he considered her words.

“I’m sure your aunt was happy to have you there, Lyn. She was a lot older, I know. But I don’t believe she ever meant to make you feel beholden or unwelcome. You probably imagined that. She just wasn’t used to having a child around.”

Caitlin nodded thoughtfully. “Could be,” she admitted. “Things get skewed when you’re a kid. I
withdrew because I didn’t like my own reality. I didn’t think much about her side of it, I guess.” She munched on her bread stick for a few minutes, trying to discern reality from her memories.

“Addie’s like that, too. When we discuss her food choices from the week before, it’s simple to see she’s camouflaging her feelings by overeating.”

“I suppose everyone does that.”

“Maybe. For a time. But when it goes on long-term, it’s denial. That gets serious.” Caitlin threaded her fingers together and then, when she realized what she was doing, laid them in her lap.

“I recognize it because I did the same with my aunt. Lucy wanted a calm, quiet retirement, and I tried to give her that. I didn’t feel comfortable inviting anyone over, and I sure wasn’t in with the group who held sleep-overs. I used my books to escape.” She smiled softly, remembering those fantasy stories.

Jordan stared perplexedly at her. “Used your books?”

Caitlin realized he wasn’t following her meaning. How could he? Jordan had a big, loving family. He was far too involved with his life to need the illusions fairy stories would provide. Besides, Jordan always dealt in the here and now, in reality.

“When people, teenagers especially, don’t have a real sense of security, they often move into a fantasy life. Mine was in books. And food.” There was no way to describe those deep, secret longing for happiness, she decided.

“But Lyn,” he protested. “You were smarter than
anyone else in school. You were years ahead in most subjects.”

“Yes. But that wasn’t as great as it seemed. When you add to my insecurities the fact that I was two grades ahead of my peers, had nothing in common with my classmates and that I was overweight to boot, well—” she grimaced “—it wasn’t a solution for successfully handling what life throws at you. I ended up hiding the real me and falling miles behind my peers in developing my own personality.”

“How did you figure all this out?”

“I talked to a counselor back in my undergrad days. She helped me see that I was compensating for losing my parents. Her words, not mine.”

Jordan shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t see anything,” he muttered. “I was in the same school. I even worked on the same newspaper.”

Caitlin grinned. “And all you saw was
the brain,
right?” It was reassuring to see the glint of teasing in his dark eyes. She brushed his arm with her hand.

“Don’t worry about it, Jordan. You were a teenager, not my adviser. You had your own problems.” She wished she hadn’t let it all out, let him see how insecure she’d been. It was time to lighten up. She peered up through her lashes. “I can’t seem to remember you suffering from anything other than girl problems!”

His face grew darker then and she laughed at his chagrin.

“Ten years later and you’re still embarrassed about being the school heartthrob?”

“Listen. I had problems like everyone else. But I sought my counsel in the Bible.”

“Oh, please. I do
not
want to hear about that!”

Jordan removed his glasses, wiping the lenses with his napkin as he glared at her, golden eyes filled with warning. “Fine. But I think,” he said firmly, “that’s enough talk about me. Let’s hear how things are going at the house. Did you get the baby’s room finished?”

“Nag, nag, nag. No, I did not. I’ve been busy.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m helping out a friend.” She avoided his eyes.

“Not Clayton Matthews?” He frowned when she nodded. “Again? What is it that the two of you are doing, anyway?”

“Oh, I’m just showing him a few things.”

Caitlin had no desire to explain how totally clueless the farmer was when it came to matters of the heart. Not that she had any great knowledge! But anyone could learn to dance and socialize and Clayton did seem desperate to gain the attention of Maryann. He just hadn’t had much success in relaxing in her company.

“Showing
him?” Jordan’s eyes darkened. “What do
you
need to show a man like him?”

“He’s very shy. I’m just trying to help him get over that so he can ask someone out.” Caitlin glanced around the room, hoping he’d drop the subject.

“Maybe I should talk to Clayton. Give him another man’s perspective.”

“No!” Caitlin immediately lowered her voice,
fully aware of the interested stares from the other patrons. “Clay would never forgive me if he thought I’d told anyone about this!”

Jordan put his fork down and studied her face intently. His forehead furrowed in a frown. “I don’t like any of this, Lyn. You insisted I help you, and I’ve tried to keep my family out of the way. But my mother’s been asking a lot of questions and it’s getting harder to put her off. She keeps wanting to know if you’re going out with anyone, if you’re having dinner alone, if you need some odd job done. That kind of thing.”

“You have to put her off. If she finds out about Clayton and me she’ll get involved and that would ruin everything.” The very thought of Eliza jumping in to match up two reticent people like Clayton and Maryann made her cringe.

“Mom might be able to help.”

Caitlin shook her head firmly. “Uh-uh. No offense, Jordan, but your mother couldn’t keep a secret if her lips were taped shut and her hands were tied behind her back.” She smiled to show she wasn’t serious, not completely anyway. “It’s important to me.”

“Important to you?” Jordan’s glowering face was full of questions. “Just what is this man to you, Caitlin?” The chill in his voice set her hackles raising.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake! Not you, too.” She whooshed out a breath of disgust and straightened. “I’ve already got half the town plotting to match the Widows of Wintergreen up with some unsuspecting
male. If they guess why Clayton…” She shook her head, her imagination taking over.

“I’m not trying to match anyone up,” Jordan growled. “But you spend hours with the man. Good grief, what are we supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to think that I’m trying to help him get up enough nerve to ask out the woman he’s loved for years! That woman is Maryann MacGregor, not me. And you’re supposed to believe it because that’s what I told you.” Caitlin tamped down her indignation.

Small towns, she thought with disgust. Everybody was always trying to make something out of nothing. It was so frustrating. If they kept this up, Maryann would soon notice Clayton’s comings and goings! Caitlin suspected her friend wouldn’t appreciate her efforts, no matter how kindly they were meant.

Maryann had been in the limelight too long. She’d returned to Oakburn with the intention of leaving the cameras behind. Caitlin shuddered to think how upset the shy, reserved woman would be if she knew people had been talking about her.

“I suppose the next thing will be finding someone for Beth Ainslow?” Jordan pushed his plate away, his eyebrows drawn together.

Caitlin took a sip of water, unsure whether to tell him her thoughts or not. He didn’t seem very sympathetic. And besides, what did he care if she was busy the rest of her life?

“I don’t know if there’s a lot I can do for Beth. She’s very kind, very bouncy, very…” she searched
for the right word “…up. But she’s hiding behind that. It’s not easy to get her to talk about personal things.”

“Sounds like normal reserve to me.”

She ignored that. “Besides, Garrett Winthrop is still nursing a grudge. It’s not going to be easy to get him to forgive and forget.”

Jordan’s gaze settled on her, something glinting in their depths. When he finally spoke his voice seemed faraway. “Sometimes it’s just not that easy to forget the past.” One hand reached out to brush a lock of hair away from his eye. “Sometimes the past looks a whole lot better than the future.”