Authors: Clarissa Yip
“I’m coming over tonight.”
“No, you’re not.”
The music started and the first couple started their walk.
“I am, and you’re not going to fight me. We’re going to talk this out.”
Eyes trained on the couple ahead, she allowed James to lead her.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t think Ellie would like you coming over.” She refused to look at him.
“If you weren’t so stubborn, it’d make it easy on the both of us. Are you jealous?” His voice held a steel thread.
“Why would I be? I’m used to seeing you with other women. I think I’ve heard all your sordid stories.” She stumbled on the carpet just as they reached the end of the walk. James’ hands shot out to steady her. Her gaze met his, and her chest constricted at the concern across his features. He’d completely destroyed her for anyone else, and it’d been easy to blame everything on him. Now she knew why.
She loved him. Still did. But she wasn’t anything more than a nuisance to him.
“Mel, those women don’t mean anything,” he said, in a harsh whisper.
“Go tell someone who cares,” she said, as they parted ways to their designated spot.
Melissa kept her eyes on the aisle. She could feel James’ gaze burning through her. She’d known all along she’d loved him, but had made excuses to push him away. She’d convinced herself that if she slept with him, she would be able to get over him. But her plan had backfired.
Could she face the heartbreak?
There was no stopping James if he wanted something. If he wanted to talk tonight, then she didn’t have a choice. She knew. Growing up with him, she’d learned the hard way what would happen if she didn’t obey. She’d gotten away with a lot, but with James, she could never win.
She wanted him with every breath in her body, but could she allow him to hurt her? Or leave her?
After the rehearsal dinner, Melissa stood outside her car, waiting.
She wanted to get this over with. Throughout dinner, she’d pretended James didn’t exist, but the more she thought about their situation, the more she realized it was better to clear the air before Liv’s wedding. They needed--no,
she
needed them to return to normal. So she’d convinced herself after watching all the other bridesmaids flirting with James.
Leaning against her door, she stared up at the clear sky. Twinkling stars shone above, and the moon’s roundness took her breath away. She’d remembered the many times James had brought her and Liv out to the park late at night, and they’d all lie down on a blanket to study the constellations. James would sit there and laugh while she and Liv gossiped about their friends, but he had never minded their annoying chit-chat or excluded them from his life when he hung out with his own friends.
No. James always watched over them. Over her. He’d always been her protector, her savior, but she wouldn’t admit that fact to him. He’d saved her many times and she’d only blamed him by twisting the situations around, so she could direct her irritation at him.
James had been there when her father had walked out on them. He was there when her mother needed help with finances, when Melissa bought her first car, even when she’d graduated. He was the glue that held all the Bauer and Johnson women together.
Tears pricked her eyes. She heard the crunch of gravel in front of her and looked to find James standing a few feet away. “When did you learn to sneak up on people like that?”
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not safe to walk out at night by yourself?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
She smiled. “Too many times. But then, when have I ever really listened?”
His lips curved upwards. He was too handsome for his own good. Always arrogant in a soft commandeering way, which was probably the reason she loved him. She felt safe with him. No one else.
“Are you ready to talk?” he asked.
A knot formed in her throat. “Talk, then.”
“I miss you.”
His words were so soft she almost didn’t hear, but her heart caught every word, thudding faster as he came closer.
“Tell me that night was special.”
“I’m not stupid,” she said. He stopped. The confusion in his face was almost comical. “I knew what I was doing that night, so I don’t need you to feel guilty.”
“I’m not feeling guilty.”
She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.
“All right, maybe a little, but I’m more pleased than anything else.”
It was her turn to be confused.
“Come with me.” He held out a hand and she looked at it, remembering all the scandalous things he’d done to her. Excitement whipped through her. Should she? If he was going to bed her again and then walk away, would she last?
She reached out and finally took his hand.
James smiled and led her to his car, opening the passenger door for her. She slid in and he walked around to the driver’s side and got in.
“Where are we going?” she asked as the engine came to life.
“Back to your place.”
She slumped in her seat.
So, it was true.
He was going to bring her home to make love to her, again. Then leave her and go back to Ellie. “I thought you wanted to talk.”
“I do.”
She didn’t say another word, but stared out the window, watching the street lamps flash by. Her heart was bleeding. What did she expect? She didn’t want to marry or have any sort of long term relationship with any man. But she couldn’t dissolve the hope that maybe James would see her as anything but the brat.
Bitter laughter worked its way up her chest. She was such a loser when it came to this man. And she’d do anything for him, even if it meant giving him her body.
James slid his hand over hers and laced their fingers. “I’m not going to see Ellie anymore, and you’re going to trust me.”
She froze. “What do you mean?”
“You’re going to tell me why you gave me your virginity.”
Her heart started to pound. She thought of a retort, but exhaustion struck. All the years of hiding behind the wall of taunting remarks came tumbling down. She didn’t want to fight him, but then she didn’t want to be the one who got hurt, either. He had such power over her, and if she gave him that power, she may never recover. “It was time. I wanted to know what it was like.”
“Don’t lie, Mel.” His hand tightened against hers.
“I’m not.” She turned her gaze back out the window. “I didn’t want anyone else.”
“Then why did you keep fighting me each time I saw you?”
“Because you started it first. I’m not your little sister. I’ve never been your little sister and I was tired of you treating me like the brat you call me.”
“It’s an endearment.”
She scoffed. “And you call all the women you sleep with the same thing?”
“No. Only you. You’re
my
brat.”
Her heart warmed, but fear crept through her. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to go back to who we were. Maybe it’s a good thing you’re going back to the city after the wedding.”
“Do you want me to go?”
No. She didn’t want him to go, but he’d always loved the city, loved the social life it offered. Unlike Grant where it was easy to run into people and everyone knew each other’s business. The town was too small for James, but this was her home. She didn’t want to leave.
When she allowed herself to imagine having a family and actually finding a man to marry and settle down with, she’d always thought of living close to her mother and Aunt Beth. Her sister couldn’t leave home fast enough. Melissa was different. She loved the town life. Grant wasn’t that big, but it was small enough to be comfortable and the pace was nice. Her job was here, her home was here, but her heart was lost.
“Answer me,” James demanded.
“You have your life. I have mine. I’m the brat that doesn’t have any friends and hangs out with our moms.”
“You know I’m joking every time I tease you. You’re easy to poke fun at.” James maneuvered the car off the main road onto a side street near her apartment.
She stiffened and tried to pull her hand away, but he tightened his grip. “I know. I’ve always been a joke to you.”
“Don’t let your temper out. I’m not trying to fight.”
“Then leave me alone.” She finally jerked her hand away.
“I can’t.”
Her head whipped back around, but then an orange glow caught her attention as the car drew onto her street. Flames leapt up from the center buildings. Fire trucks and police cars formed a barrier.
Melissa gasped when she realized it was her own apartment. The blaze reached as far as the club. She got out before James could pull the car to a complete stop and ran to the scene, elbowing her way through the crowd to the yellow tape.
“That’s my apartment,” she cried to one of the officers.
“I’m sorry, Miss. They’re doing all they can do,” the officer said. “Please, stand back.”
Melissa stared up at her building. The flames reached higher into the sky, even with the heavy stream of water blasted at it.
Tears burned her eyes as she tried to take a deep breath. All her belongings were in there. Her hard work, her books, her computer. Everything. Even the stuffed animal James bought her for her thirteenth birthday along with their family photos.
“Melissa.”
She turned and looked up at James. “All my stuff is in there.”
He hushed her as her tears spilled and pulled her into his arms, holding her tight against him. “It’s okay. They’re just things. You can replace them.”
She shook her head. She thought of her graduation picture--the only picture she had of her and James together--the only one that didn’t have Liv or her sister. “It’s all gone.”
James rubbed her back, pressing his lips to her forehead. They stood in silence as they watched the buildings burn. The club sign had fallen to the ground and the fire continued to light the night.
“Baby, let’s go home. I’ll bring you back tomorrow.”
Her shoulders sagged as she allowed him to pull her along. James helped her into the car, and they drove in silence. He settled his palm on her thigh, and she made no attempt to push him off.
Her home was gone. The one place that she had gotten on her own was being burnt to the ground along with all her possessions, her memorabilias of James.
James pulled his car into the driveway. Melissa let herself out and started to walk over to her mom’s, but James stopped her.
“Hey, where are you going?” he asked, turning her to face him.
She looked up at him. “I’m going to my mom’s.”
“You don’t have keys.”
Melissa glanced over and saw that all the lights were off. “I can wake her.”
James shook his head. “Just stay over.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He dropped her hand and crossed his arms. “What, are you afraid our moms are going to catch us in bed?”
Her eyes narrowed.
“What happened to the bravado you showed me the other night? You weren’t scared when you were seducing me,” he taunted.
She felt her blood boil. “James Bauer, you just want to get me in trouble.”
“You must not be the same sexy woman who stood up to me at the club. Guess you’re… just the brat.”
Her jaw dropped, but she regained her composure and glared. “Let’s go.”
James grinned and guided her through the side door of the house. They tiptoed across the kitchen and he held her hand the whole time. When they saw a light turn on and then off at the top landing, he abruptly stopped at the base of the stairs and she bumped into him. After James ensured they were safe, they continued up the stairs and down the hall to the last room. Melissa almost tripped outside of Liv’s door, but James caught her and wrapped an arm around her waist as he led her the rest of the way.
Once they were inside James’ room, he turned on the lights. Melissa looked around. His room was big. Burgundy sheets decorated the king-size bed. Windows dressed with cream lace lined the far side of the room, and another door led to a private bathroom.
She walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. James just watched her.
“Are you going to sleep on the floor?” she blurted out.
Now that she was in his room, anxiety wracked her stomach and a sense of taboo engulfed her. Even though she was no longer a kid, she couldn’t help worrying about their mothers walking in on them.
James grinned. “Do you want me to?”
She gulped. There was no way she could deny him. She wanted him and loved him with every breath. Would it be so bad to enjoy the time they could have together until he left?
Melissa shook her head and stood up. Her fingers lifted to the button of her skirt, but stopped when James went to the dresser and pulled out a t-shirt.
“Here, put this on.”
“Do I need it?” She couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice.
James laughed. “It’s late. We’re going to sleep. Liv’s wedding is tomorrow and we have to take care of your apartment.”
Disappointed, she snatched the shirt and trudged to the bathroom. After changing, washing her face and rinsing her mouth, she came back out to find the lights off. Moonlight cast a glow on the bed where James lay. His chest was bare and his gaze followed her movements.
He folded back the top cover. “Get in.”
She climbed onto the high mattress and James pulled her into his arms. Settling her against his side, she laid her head on his shoulder and covered his heartbeat with her hand. “Are you going to make love to me?”
“It’s not sex anymore?” he asked, and tightened his arms around her.
Her mouth opened to deny it, but she no longer wanted to hide anything from him. “No. It’s not sex,” she replied, snuggling against him and savoring the heat of his body. Exhaustion seeped into her bones.
James gave a cocky grunt. “Damn straight,” he reaffirmed.
Warmth gripped her heart, but she didn’t dare say more.
“We’re going to sleep and I’m going to hold you all night.” He pressed a kiss to her head.
“I’d like that.”
“You know why?” he asked.
Too tired to ask, she made a noise no louder than a sigh.
“You’re mine.”
She fell asleep with a smile on her face.