Bachelor's Wife (20 page)

'Kiss and run,' she inserted, bitterness welling up inside that if she went with him, he wouldn't regard her as a proper wife—she would be his mistress for a short time, that was all.

'If you like,' he said, his eyes still on her. Then he proceeded to shatter her by stating, 'But when I went to bed that night and couldn't get to sleep for thinking about you, I knew you could if I didn't watch it, start to get under my skin.

'Under...' she gaped, never expecting to hear him admit such a thing.

'That's why I agreed to the divorce,' he went on to tell her. And, never one for hiding in corners, 'I wanted you out of my life—out of my head.'

Perry wondered why her heart wouldn't behave when all he was saying was that if under his skin she was, then the quickest way to get her out was to have her living with him. For it was as clear as day that once she was from under his skin, his desire-sated, she could go, and he would carry on the way he had always done.

'So you thought by arranging for me to see Mr Leighton I would soon be out of your life. How dreadful of me to go and have an accident!' Sarcasm came to assist, but it didn't make her feel any better. 'A pity for you I had the certificate of marriage copy with me, wasn't it?'

'I'm not sure,' he said, when she had been positive he was always sure of everything.

Her mouth firmed as she took that to indicate that he wasn't sure yet whether she was going with him or not. Then she felt her heart give another wild surge of hope as Nash added:

'It wasn't until I saw you in hospital, unconscious to the world, that I had to face the fact that what I'd been telling myself was untrue. It wasn't just desire for your body I felt. It hurt me that you were hurt.'

That he should ever know pain on her account had her own feelings, the ache in her heart, promptly and completely disregarded. And there was a softness entering her voice as regretfully she said: 'Oh, Nash!'

It was all the invitation he needed. In a few strides he was with her, looking down into her face as his arms wrapped loosely round her.

'I began to suffer agonies on your account, my dear,' he told her gently. 'I found myself pacing the hospital corridor, and had to lecture myself sternly when you started to recover, that if I didn't watch it I would find myself in love with you.'

Her heart went leaden. He had proved before he could master his emotions. Had the love that had started to grow in him for her been rooted out before it could take a hold? She knew it had.

'It must have been most inconvenient for you to feel you had to take me into your home,' she said woodenly, and received a small shake from him that the softness in her had disappeared.

'I had no intention of leaving you where that animal Coleman could get to you again,' he told her, all his warmth going as he said it. Then as she struggled to get out of his arms, he suddenly smiled, hanging on to her as he confessed, 'Taking you to Greenfields, I soon saw, was a very big mistake.'

Perry stared at him, unable to comprehend why if it had been such a mistake he was now proposing that she should go back there with him.

'You've lost me somewhere, Nash,' she told him. 'You've not long ago stated quite clearly that you want me back there as your mistress.' She went white at the answer she received.

'Mistress
and
wife,' he said, his mouth curving, again at the shock in her eyes.

Whether he thought she looked as though she would fall down if she didn't soon sit, she didn't know. But it was then that he led her over to the settee, to sit with her, to brush a

stray strand of hair back from her face, as he explained, 'I didn't want to fall in love, didn't want a wife. But when I found I was tearing through my work each day so I could rush home to you, I knew I was facing the beginning of the end.'

Happiness burst in on her. She felt the end of the rainbow was hers. Happiness didn't last. Insecurity chased it away as it had when she had awakened happy that morning.

'You didn't come home at all last week,' she reminded him, trying to get her voice to rise above the flatness she was feeling so he should not know how much having his love would mean to her.

'And it was sheer hell not doing so,' he told her, which lifted her, but only briefly. 'I needed that self-inflicted punishment to make me realise what it would be like for the rest of my life if I didn't turn my back on every preconceived idea I'd ever held.'

Dully Perry realised that whatever it was he was saying he felt for her, there was no spontaneity about it. His head would always rule him. Solemnly she looked at him, and Nash, seeing the unsmiling look of her, went on, urging:

'Try to understand, Perry. From the day my mother walked out and I saw my father's utter despair I knew women could hurt if you let them get to you. I was fourteen and already wary of women when my father at last picked himself up and started to bring home one good-time girl after another. By the time I was twenty I knew marriage I could do without. The experience with Lydia cemented that opinion.'

 Perry wanted to interrupt him then to say that she did understand. How could she not with the example of her sex that had been thrust before him at a very tender age? She wanted to tell him that all women were not like the women he had known, but had little faith he would believe her.

'I considered myself a confirmed bachelor,' he went on when no smile or word came from her. 'It was no part of my plan to have you in my system...'

She did interrupt him then, finding her voice to say, 'Was it p-part of your plan to come home last night and ...' she nearly said seduce me, but if it had been seduction then he hadn't had any opposition, had he, 'and get me into bed with you?' she asked. Hurrying on when she received a dark look for what she was saying, 'I mean—well, if you wanted to get me out of your system...'

Heart-searing thoughts were recalled. Painful, bitter thoughts of how it had been Nash's cold determination to be the one to take the decision when their marriage should be terminated that had brought him to her room, and she rushed on before he could speak:

'You made sure an annulment was out of the question, didn't you?' she said, anger coming from her raw hurt. 'It was something the great Nash Devereux couldn't allow, wasn't it, that some woman should turn around and tell him what she was going to do about—about an—an entanglement he was part of.'

She ran out of steam as Nash stared at her as though she had just stupefied him. 'My God,' he breathed, 'the nutty way your brain works! So that's why you ran out on me this morning. You thought—-' he looked completely nonplussed for a couple of seconds before he got his thoughts together. 'You actually thought I came to your room, took your virginity, simply because I was piqued that I wasn't running the show?'

'Well,' she said lamely, not likely to be made to think she had been doing some idiotic thinking, for all she hoped it was true. Had being in love with Nash scrambled her otherwise fairly uncluttered thinking? And, her intelligence at work again, 'You didn't stay around to tell me otherwise, did you? Ellie said you'd probably gone ...'

'Oh, Perry, my little love,' Nash said tenderly, 'I can see I shall have to spell it out for you, for all I thought that wonderful merging of minds, hearts and souls we shared last night said it all. Your statement that you wanted the marriage
^-
annulled threw me, I'll admit, but

that wasn't why I came to your room." 'It wasn't?'

'No, it was not,' he said unequivocally. 'I was as mad as hell after you'd gone, but as I started to cool down all I could remember was the way you looked before you so rapidly disappeared. You looked ready to break your heart,' he smiled then as he confessed. 'I found out then that whether you wanted an annulment or not, I just couldn't bear the thought of you upstairs breaking your little heart all alone. I just couldn't take it; I had to come and try to comfort you. And when I did, when I had you in my arms—well, I just lost my head.'

'You ...' Perry felt choked, unable to go on. Nash, the man she had always thought completely in control was admitting that when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her, the cold logic of his thinking had disappeared! Hope surged upward as with his arm about her he pulled her close as though never intending to let her go.

'I'm in love with you, my lovely wife,' he said, his voice thickening. 'I came home last night with every intention of telling you so. I acted like a sore-headed bear when you greeted me with the news that you were leaving—tried to redress the balance at dinner—and we both know how that ended.'

Perry found difficulty in swallowing. She stared wordlessly into warm grey eyes, unable to believe what Nash was saying, what the look on his face was saying. None of it could be happening. But it was like a symphony starting to play in her ears when Nash, seeing she was struggling, told her:

'I have fought it, I can't deny—fought hard against the love I have for you. This need for you that makes home no place unless you're there.'

'Oh, Nash,' she whispered, unbelievable happiness singing inside her.

'So please, please say you'll come back with me, because I swear there's no point in my calling any place home

without you to come home to.'

Shyly, love bursting in her, showing in her eyes. Perry raised a loving hand to touch the side of his face, and saw sincerity and a deep abiding love there in his eyes for her.

'Oh, my love,' she said softly, using the words he had used when he had made love to her. 'Oh, Nash...'

His name died on her lips as her answer given in the way she was, he crushed her to him, his mouth devouring hers, tiny kisses covering her face, joy in him, in his pounding heart beneath her hand.

'Darling, darling girl,' he said tenderly when he pulled back so he could see into her shining eyes. 'Don't ever, ever give me a shock such as the one I received when I got back this morning.'

'You expected to find me there?' she asked huskily, her eyes feeding hungrily on his face.

'I was completely stunned that you weren't. I just couldn't believe it, not after the way we'd been together.'

'You knew I was in love with you?' she asked shyly.

'Say that again,' Nash broke off to urge. 'The last part.'

Perry smiled. 'I love you very much,' she said, her voice low, and all was silent for long moments as he drew her close again, kissing her deeply.

    Love filled her flat as the kiss ended and they pulled back each to gaze at the other, until finally Perry just had to speak.

'Ellie told you Bert had given me a lift?' He nodded, his eyes still on her as if he couldn't tear his look away. 'I couldn't believe it. For the only time in my life, I remember,' he revealed, 'I was so shattered that in jumping in my car and chasing after you I took the wrong route. By the time I'd sorted myself out and realised Bert would have gone another way I decided it would be better to come straight on here.'

'Was that when you decided to give my notice on this flat for me?' she asked, marvelling at the freedom in teasing him, seeing his unashamed, grin as he answered.

'I thought I might do that as I drove along. The way we were when we were in each other's arms,' he paused to kiss her—he had to—before he continued, 'the way you'd been with me last night—You couldn't not love me, I thought, not and be so shyly willing to let me have your innocence.'

Perry's face went a delightful pink. 'My darling! My beautiful shy love,' Nash murmured, and kissed her. She felt that her heart was pounding too as his hand covered it. 'My wife,' he said, the way he said it, satisfaction, undisguised happiness there, having her thrilling anew.

Then as though the words 'my wife' had reminded him of something, his eyes never leaving her face, he said softly:

'You haven't asked me where I went this morning, what it was that had me tearing myself from my adorable bride. What it was that had me fighting an inner battle not to stay and kiss you awake.'

'You didn't go clay pigeon shooting?' she asked, knowing suddenly his errand had been much more important than that.

   For answer Nash dipped his hand into his pocket and withdrew a small square box. 'I went to buy this. It mattered to me—I was hoping it mattered to you.'

Perry couldn't stop the tears that rushed to her eyes when he pulled back the lid from the box and she saw what it contained. It was a wedding ring.

'You said you'd thrown the other one in the river,' he said softly, taking her left hand in his. Then, his voice stronger, sincere and loving, gently he slid the plain gold band over her wedding finger, saying as he did so, keeping hold of it when it was home, 'With this ring I thee wed. With my body I thee worship.'

Tears were streaming down Perry's face as Nash came to the end. 'I love you, my darling wife,' he murmured tenderly, wiping away her tears as reverently he kissed her. Then, still in that quiet loving way, he kissed her' wedding ring, kissed her hand.

'Let's go home, my dear, dear love,' he said.