Back to the Beach (Hunt Family Book 4) (12 page)

"All that to come out here and see me?" he asked smirking at me.

I couldn't' help myself. I reached up and put my hand on his face. The shape of his jaw fit perfectly into the palm of my hand.

"How did you get here?" I asked.

He smiled. "On a plane," he said.

"Did you go to California earlier?"

"Was that today?" he asked, staring into space as if trying to remember. He smiled. "Yep, I think it was."

"And then you turned right around and came back here?"

"Pretty much how it went," he said, nodding in agreement.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm coming to say goodbye," he said.

For a terrible second I thought he meant a final farewell, but then I realized he meant that he regretted leaving without saying goodbye when he left this morning.

"You came all the way back here to tell me
goodbye
?" I asked.

He nodded, still grinning down at me.

"Thank God you forgot to set an alarm," I said since it was the first thing that came to mind.

He laughed at that.

"I thought you had something for work," I said, remembering him talking about it.

"I do. I'll make it back in time, though. My flight leaves tomorrow at noon."

"So, you're spending the night here tonight?" I asked.

He nodded. "If that's okay."

I put my head on his chest and hugged him tightly. "I can't believe it," I said.

"And I don't have to wake up early to make my flight," he said. "I can stick around and give you a decent goodbye."

Chapter 18

"Those are two words I wouldn't use in the same sentence," I said.

I was standing on the beach wrapped in Nico's arms, and already I was dreading the time when he had to leave the next day.

"What words?" he asked.

"Decent and goodbye."

He pulled back and stared down at me with a smile. It was growing darker, but I could still appreciate the color of his eyes. The neighbors had gone inside, leaving Nico and me alone on our stretch of the beach.

"I'm not sure those words belong together either," he said, staring down at me with a loving smile. "I've never felt that way, though" he continued.

"What way?" I asked.

"Like I hate goodbyes."

"I'd be mad, too, if forgetting to say it caused me to come all the way back over here when I just got home."

"Saying goodbye didn't make me do that," he said.

I shot him a curious glance. "You said you came because you didn't get to say goodbye," I said.

He made a face that said I should know better. "That was just an excuse to come see you again."

I figured he wanted to see me, because why else would he come all this way… but hearing him say it plain as day like that made a familiar jolting sensation hit me in the gut. I rested the side of my face on his chest feeling relieved and somehow complete. I breathed in the clean smell of him and absentmindedly wondered how he still smelled good after traveling all day.

He placed a kiss on my head as he patted my shoulder. "Let's walk for a little bit," he said.

I nodded, and we set off down the beach at a slow pace. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding me close to him as we walked. We went at least a full minute without saying a thing to each other. We were on the dry sand at first, but we slowly drifted to the wet sand as we walked. Occasionally, waves would come up far enough to cover our feet.

"Where are your shoes?" I asked when I looked down to see that he was barefoot.

"Up by the house," he said.

"Did you really fly across the country two times today?" I asked.

"Coast to coast, and back again" he said with a smile in his voice.

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you," I said simply.

He squeezed me. "Tomorrow's probably gonna be just as hard as today was, but unfortunately I won't be able to do it twice. I don't have a choice with that closing on Monday. I have to be there."

"I know," I said, trying to sound casual even though I was most certainly
not
looking forward to it.

"I know a final goodbye's inevitable, but I'm glad we got to put it off a few more hours."

"What do you mean by final goodbye," he asked.

I glanced at him with a little smile. "The one where you can't turn around and come right back," I said, reasonably.

"Yeah, but that doesn't make it a
final
goodbye," he said, sounding somewhat offended.

Oh, how I wished that were true. How I wished I could continue on this sunset walk wrapped in his arms for the rest of my life.
"It's final for a while at least," I said, still being logical.

"Just till I get on another plane, or you get on a plane, or we facetime or talk on the phone."

I breathed in a long, unsteady breath at the words that sounded like promises coming out of his mouth. Words such as those made me feel shaky and dazed—like I didn't know what to say next and wouldn't be able to get it out of my mouth even if I did.

"Why are you being so quiet?" he asked, pulling back to glance at me.

I looked up to see him smiling. It was like a dream. I had been imagining all those years that one day he'd look at me the way he was looking at me right at that moment, and it was difficult for me to comprehend that it was actually happening. I didn't really know how to handle it.
Just smile, Mia, and act normal.
I smiled. "I don't mean to be quiet, I'm just thinking about everything." I smiled again, trying to come across as non-dramatic as possible. "I don't want you to feel like you have to make me any promises or anything."

He stopped walking and turned to face me, taking my hands in his as he stared directly into my eyes. It was growing darker, but it was still light enough to see each other clearly. We were standing in a place where our feet were barely under water, but just then, a wave came rolling in that went up our shins, almost all the way to my knees. Even with this unexpected rise in water, we didn't take our eyes off of each other.

"Sneaker wave," I said.

He smiled at me but didn't respond to my comment. "I'm sorry if you're scared that I don't want to, or that I won't be able to make promises to you, Mia," he said with an earnest expression. "I hate my past and every poor choice I've made if it translates to making you scared of me. I
want
to make promises to you."

His expression was so sincere that I had to look away. It was too much for me to handle.

"All I'm saying is that it's okay that we have to go back to our lives," I said, glancing at him.

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me with a confused expression. "No it's not," he said. "We're not just going back to our lives how they were." He tilted his head, still focusing on me intently. "Is that what you think?"

I shrugged innocently. "Well, that's what I
thought
," I said.

He smiled at me like he thought I was being silly and it was cute.

"What?" I asked.

"We're not just forgetting about each other when we get home this time." He tilted his head again. "Is that what you want?"

"I mean, I just assumed…"

"Stop assuming," he said. "What do you
want
?" He paused, but I couldn't find my voice. "What do you want to happen with us, Mia?"

I smiled, feeling nervous and entirely on the spot. "What do
you
want?" I asked, scrunching my face up but still smiling.

"I told you what I want. I want you. I want to be with you."

"That's sort of geographically difficult," I said, making him smile.

He held both of my hands with one of his as he used his other arm to wrap around the small of my back, drawing me close. "We'll make it work," he said. "What I'm asking is, do you
want
to make it work?" He stared down at me like it was an honest question—like he
actually
didn't know I had been crazy about him for years.

"Nico—" I started to tell him I was wholly devoted—his to do with as he chose, but I hesitated, unable to make such words come out of my mouth. My heart pounded in my chest. "Nico, yes, I want to make it work," I said. "I just don't want you to feel pressure to—"

He cut me off. "Stop saying that," he said. "It just makes me feel worse than I already do. Let me prove to you that I can do this. Don't be scared of me, and don't make excuses for me to get out of the very thing I'm trying to get into."

"This is freaking me out," I said, smiling and shaking my head dazedly at him.

"What is?"

"These words we're saying."

"Why?" he asked.

I stared at them. "Because they're perfect," I said. "They're better than I wished they'd be."

He stood there looking down at me for a few more seconds. I thought he was about to let me go and start walking again, but instead he said, "I don't know exactly how it'll all work out—we'll have to take it day by day, but I know this is it, Mia. We're gonna just have to figure out how we can be together—we'll have to make arrangements."

I reached up to run my fingers through his hair and down near the closely cropped part above his ear. My fingers felt alive when I was touching him—like pixie dust might start flying in the places we made contact.

His comment about
making arrangements
made me think about work. I had already thought about the possibility of working with Nico, and knew our skills would complement each other's.

"We're gonna be able to do some cool stuff together," I said when the thought crossed my mind.

"Oh, I'm thinking of so many things we can do together," he said in a way a player would say it.

I giggled and slapped at his chest even though he was clearly joking around. "I meant at work," I said.

"I know you did," he said, grinning down at me. "And you're right, we're gonna build an empire together and whatnot…" He paused briefly and raised his eyebrows at me. "But we're also gonna have a bunch of other kinds of fun."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, playing innocent.

He shrugged. "Kissing's fun," he said. "I figure I get the right to kiss you, don't I?"

My knees all but gave out from underneath me. It was all I could do to make them hold my bodyweight. Not only did he have the right to kiss me, but I also wanted him to kiss me right that very second…
was that an option?

"I guess a kiss is okay," I said acting nonchalant as I shrugged a shoulder. "It probably shouldn't happen on the beach at sunset like this, though."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because that's a little overboard, don't you think? I mean, it's bound to be breaking some sort of law."

"You mean we should tone it down?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Are you saying it's too good?" he asked.

I nodded again.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and spun us both around where I was facing more toward the shore rather than the ocean. "Is this better?" he asked. He paused and glanced over his shoulder to see my view. "Is it uglier facing that way?"

I shook my head regretfully. "Too beautiful," I said. "Still really surreal and dream-like. The sun is setting over here."

He smiled and reached out to gently cover my eyes. His big hand covered the entire top half of my face, and I closed my eyes and smiled since I didn't care to resist. "How about now?" he said. "Is this better?"

I thought about it for a second and finally shook my head.

"No?" he asked in a disbelieving tone. "What's wrong now?"

I smiled. "It's the rightness, remember?"

"What's right, then?"

"The water hitting my feet, the sound of the waves, the wind hitting my back, and the feel of your hand on my face. I like the smell of it, too," I said, taking in a breath through my nose.

"So, we have to go somewhere stinky and ugly?" he asked.

I smiled and used one of my hands to gently pull his from my eyes, smiling as I peered up at him. "Actually, I don't think the beach has anything to do with it now that you mention it," I said. "I think you by yourself makes it too good."

"Then it really doesn't matter where it happens," he concluded.

I shrugged. "I guess not."

"Then this is as good a place as any," he said.

I smiled. "Probably better than most."

"I'm confused," he said. "Is better good, or is better bad?"

I giggled. "I'm confused, too."

"What am I doing asking permission from a confused person?" he asked.

I shrugged again, but didn't otherwise respond.

"Mia," he said, speaking slowly and deliberately. "I'm gonna kiss you right now, and then for the rest of our lives, I'm gonna pretty much kiss you whenever I want without really asking too much permission, okay?"

"Okay," I said, nodding instantly. I wanted him to be the one who'd kiss me for the rest of my life, and hearing him say it filled me with an electric type of happiness that had me wiggling and jiggling and unable to stand still.

"You're gonna vibrate out to sea if I don't hold onto you," he said with an amused grin.

"You're making me do that by saying words like
rest of our lives
."

He took my face in his hands and stared at me. "Mia, I can't imagine having anything less with you. I can't imagine a time when I'd be okay saying goodbye to you without knowing when I'd be seeing you again. I can't imagine moving forward from here without you being part of the equation."

I stared at him, feeling overwhelmed like I was receiving some gift I didn't deserve. I wanted to say all those nice, committal things back to him, but I couldn’t find the words to get them out as eloquently as he did. I felt like the next words that would come out of my mouth, no matter what I tried to make them, would sound like a cavewoman grunting.

"Count me in for whatever equation you're talking about," I managed to say in plain English, thankfully.