Back Where We Belong (A Second Chances New Adult Romance) (13 page)

I wish I'd killed that mother
fucker when I had the chance. I wish I'd torn him limb from limb. So help me,
if I ever get my hands on him or his friend, I won't be able to stop myself. I
want to rage and kick out, but hell, the last thing Madison needs right now is
a display of male adrenaline-fueled aggression. But I'll fucking get them for
this in the end.

And why was she even with that
sonofabitch? She thought I’d left her. I know that. Even though I’ve been with
other women over the past few years, it still kills me to know she was dating
that piece of shit.

But I can’t think about the past
now. Not if I still want Madison. And I do. I want to see her smiling again. I
can’t help that. Me and my protective instinct coming out again. I’ve still got
it bad. She’s mine now. That’s what counts. I can’t think about when we split.

But fuck, I’m going to have to be
so careful. Anything I say, anything I do, might remind her of those evil
bastards. I hate that I have to hold back because of them, but if that’s what
it takes, I’ll do it. I’ll go as slowly as she needs me to go. Whatever it
takes to make her feel safe.

But when I get my hands on them,
they’ll wish they’d never been born.

***

I don’t know what else to say so
I just hold Madison until she’s a bit calmer and then I dry her tears on the
hem of the shirt I threw on. I take her hand, and we start walking along the
beach.

“Did you ever get any help, you
know, someone to talk to?” I ask.

“No, I didn't tell anyone. Just
my roommate and a doctor. The doctor said I should see a therapist, but I
didn't go. I couldn't talk about it.”

“You have to see...would you like
to see someone now?”

“I should. I know I should. It's
just been difficult with Mom and everything. I never told her. She would have
just blamed me. She already had a lot to say about me dropping out of college.”

“I bet she did.” I want to
strangle that woman. “But Madison, I want you to have the best, to see the best
therapist there is if that’s what you want. Are you worried about the cost,
because if you are, don't worry, I'll pay. Is there someone you'd like to see?”

“Michelle recommended someone.
But I can't let you pay. It's not your problem. You didn't cause it.”

“It's our problem now,” I say. “I
want to help. It's my fault I wasn't there for you.”

“You couldn't be there. It wasn't
your fault.”

“Whatever. I want to help and I
can afford the best. Wherever they are. My driver will get you there and back.”

“No. I'll have to see someone in
Greenwich because...well, because I won't be able to get in the car with him.”

“Oh hell, I'm sorry. “I didn't
think of that. Paul is one of life's good guys. I'm sure about that, but we'll
think of something else.”

“They all seem like good
guys...until they're not.”

“Do you think that about me?”

“No, but that's just because I
got to know you before...it happened.”

And her eyes fill with tears
again. We stop, and I hold her again. I want to comfort her, but I don't know
how. I feel so fucking powerless.

I dry her eyes again and we walk
on, both deep in thought. She smiles weakly up at me, and I put my arm around
her.

“Is that okay? My arm?” I ask.

“Yes. You don't have to ask me
everything. I'll let you know if I want you to stop.”

“Do you remember we had a safe
word?” Fuck! Why did I say that? Reminding her I spanked her and how rough I
used to be is not the smartest idea I've had today. Why don't I just trigger a
whole load of bad memories while I'm at it?

But she smiles. “Yes, it was
Murgatroyd. I never forgot it.”

“Just say Murgatroyd then if you
feel uncomfortable. I'll always stop. You know that.”

“I know. I trust you, but Luke,
you don't have to put up with this. I'll understand if you want nothing more to
do with me. You deserve someone who doesn't have all this crap going on.”

“There's no way I'm leaving you
to deal with this on your own.” I hold her tighter. “You think I'd just walk
out on you because of that?”

“I'd understand if you did.”

“Well, no fucking way. You're
stuck with me.”

She cries again and clings to me.
It breaks my heart to see her so upset.

“I'm sorry, Luke. Forgive me if I
act weird. I can't help it. It's not you. I just have to work through it.”

“Nothing to forgive,” I say,
drying her tears again.

I pull her to me and kiss her
hair, her nose, and she lifts her face to me, and I gently kiss her mouth, but
the tears don't stop. I hold her hand and we walk on.

We've come to the beach cafe.

My stomach betrays me and
rumbles.

She laughs through her tears.

“I think you need some breakfast.
Shall we stop here? I'm really not up to meeting your family today, but soon.
If you still want me when you've had a chance to think about it, now you know
how damaged I am, we'll visit them soon, I promise.”

“I will always want you,” I say,
and I mean it. I will always want Madison. I hold her and eventually she's
calmer and she stops crying.

“Your shirt—I made it all wet.”

“It'll dry.” Fuck the shirt. “You
okay?”

“Yes, I think so. Let's get you
some breakfast.” She takes my hand.

I go back to the gallery the next
day, and I tell Michelle what happened. No more secrets. I am done with keeping
everything locked up inside. Michelle is relieved Brad didn't hurt me.

“A detective came around and took
a statement. I told him about running into Brad at that sale. What's going to
happen to him?”

“I don't know. I don't suppose
they can pin much on him. He threw a brick through the window. They might
charge him for that. And for being high on drugs. But he’ll have good lawyers.
They’ll probably get him off with something minor. They’ll never get him or his
friend for what he did to me at college. That's too long ago, and there's no
evidence. They can’t even get him for the assault on Luke. Technically Luke
jumped on him. He could just say it was self-defense, especially as he came off
worse. I was more worried Luke would be charged. But I think they believed us.”

“You're not worried Brad will
show up at the gallery or at your house again?”

“I was, but Luke is organizing a
bodyguard.”

“A bodyguard?”

“I know. He called someone this
morning and apparently a woman called Denise will be watching over me
everywhere I go.”

“A female bodyguard! He really
gets how it is for you, doesn't he?”

“I think so. But we've still got
a lot to work through.”

“Are you going to see that therapist?”

“I've already booked a session
this week.” I smile.

“I think I'm going to see her
again too. It's time I got on with my life. I can't avoid men forever. That art
dealer, the Canadian one. He invited me out. I said yes.”

“I'm glad.” I give her a hug.

“I like the therapist,” Madison
says one day, a month or so after the night at the beach house. “I'm pleased
Michelle recommended her.”

“I like how you seem happier
these days.”

“That's you, not just the
therapist.”

I kiss her on the nose. She's
getting stronger and it's not just me, but I like her saying I make her
happier. Despite everything, I know I'm happier too than I was before Madison
came back into my life. I still love the deals, the chase, but there’s fuck all
use in any level of success, any amount of money, if that's all there is in
your life. I didn't realize how wrapped up I was in making money before Madison
came back into the picture.

“And getting away from your
mother. That helped.”

“That too.”

Michelle found a bigger place,
and she offered Madison the apartment above the gallery. I wanted to buy
Madison a house, but she wouldn't hear of it. And the gallery apartment is
perfect for her. It's got a spare room where she can paint and it's calm and
peaceful. I think she needs that. But I'm still going to get her a mansion one
of these days and hang her pictures on all the walls.

“It would be better if you didn’t
keep visiting your mother. I don't like how she talks to you.” That woman is
poison.

“You don't have to go with me. I
know you hate it.”

“She hates it too. I go because
she hates me. She hates that I succeeded.”

“You're like a big kid. Maybe you
should get therapy too. I'm going to see her on Sunday. I want to go on my
own.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no? I'm
twenty-three years old. I can do what I like.”

“You can, but not when it comes
to your mother. I know she'll get her claws into you if I'm not there.”

“Maybe she's worse because you're
there.”

“You think so?”

She thinks for a moment. “No, she
was always just as bad.”

“So I'm going.”

“Whatever you like.” She doesn't
seem that happy about it though.

“You don't like me protecting
you?”

“Sometimes it's a bit much. I
feel safer with a bodyguard when I know those guys are out there. I like
Denise. But I hate it when you keep threatening revenge.”

I know she's referring to the way
I want to tear Brad and his friend apart. Sometimes my rage just slips out even
though I know it upsets her.

“I can't help wanting to get my
hands on them.”

“I don't want to spend my life
worrying about what will happen if you get ahold of them, and knowing you, you
will. They could have a gun, a knife, anything. They might kill you. Or you
kill them and you'd end up in prison. Promise me not to go anywhere near them
and you can come with me to see my mother.”

“Okay, if that's what you want.”

“That's what I want.”

***

But whatever I promise Madison, I'm
going to make sure there's a payback for what they did. A big glorious fucking
payback. They won't feel it with my foot in their ribs. I won't go back on what
I said. But I’ll have someone closely watching every move they make, every
investment, every job, every finger in every pie. And I'll bide my time and
take them down. Take every last cent. They won't know what hit them. Madison
won't even have to know.

I'm getting better. I know I am.
I love being with Luke but it's not how it used to be. He treats me like I'm
some porcelain figurine he could easily break. I want the rough Luke back. The
one who dominates me and tells me what to do. I don't know if I will ever find
him again, and worse, I don't know how I will react if I do. And whether that
will break us.

But somehow I know if I don't try,
things will never be the same again. I'll always feel powerless. I'll always be
aware they took something from me and from Luke and that they got away scot
free.

Madison has invited me over
tonight.

“I made your favorite for
dessert,” she says, as soon as I arrive and kiss her gently on the lips.

I'm puzzled. I don't think I've
ever mentioned any dessert in particular.

“Chocolate ice cream with
sprinkles,” she explains.

“Oh.” I remember that first day
on the beach. “Chocolate ice cream with sprinkles is my favorite. But only with
you.”

“I thought we might have dessert
in bed.” She has that look on her face.

I love that look. It used to mean
she wants me, and she wants me now. No waiting. And glory hallelujah, it's
back.

“Maybe we should eat dessert
before dinner,” I say.

“My thoughts exactly.”

“It could get messy.”

“I hope so.” She laughs and pulls
me into the bedroom. “I think you should undress me. Take everything off so I
don't get my clothes covered in chocolate.”

I look at her. I haven't tried to
take off her panties since she froze on me at the beach house. I didn't want to
set her back. But I play along. “Your wish is my command.”

We sit on the bed, and I start
gently undoing buttons, loosening clasps, planting soft kisses on her skin and
caressing her as I go until she's all breathy, her face flushed. Finally, we're
down to her panties.

“Take them off,” she says, her
breath hitching, “please.”

I hook my fingers into the
elastic and pull them down. She steps out of them, and she's bare for me. Bare
and oh so tantalizingly wet.

Fuck ice cream. I want to taste
her just as she is, so I lay her down on the bed and bend my head and do just
that.

“That's cheating,” she says. “I'm
not dessert.” But she's laughing.

“So where's that ice cream you
promised me?” I ask. “I'm going to eat it right here...and here...” I lick and
suck each nipple and she giggles. “And then I'm going to put a huge dollop here
and suck it right up.” My fingers tease her until she squirms and clenches my
fingers with her thighs.

“I think you'd better get it from
the freezer. There's a big window in the kitchen, and I appear to be naked.”

“So you do, but what will my
reward be for doing your bidding?”

“Me,” she says.

“Good enough.” I laugh.

I bring a bowl full of ice cream
and another one of sprinkles.

“You're supposed to put the
sprinkles on top,” she says.

“Oh, I'm going to.” I tear off my
clothes and lie beside her on the bed.

“First you get a big spoonful of
ice cream like this.” I scoop up a large chunk. “And then you drop it just
where you want to eat it.”

I shake the spoon over her
nipple, but that stuff is stuck to the spoon, it's not going anywhere.

“You should have bought the soft
scoop kind,” I say and we both laugh.

“Never fear, all is not lost.” I
push the chocolate ice cream off the spoon and it lands on her breast. And she
gasps. I run the back of the cold spoon over her, so the chocolate covering is
spread a bit as the warmth of her body softens it, and her nipple is rigid
poking through. “And now the sprinkles.” I grab a spoonful of the things and
decorate the ice cream and her nipple, sticky with the concoction. Then I
decorate her other side.

“Now you're good enough to eat.”
I lick the dessert from her with long, slow swipes of my tongue.

She's writhing under me by the
time I finish.

“My turn.” She takes the spoon
from me, loads it with ice cream, and eats it.

“It's very, very cold,” she says
with a wicked grin on her face.

Oh, that's her game!

She takes me in her mouth. I
groan at the sensation, as first, the cold of the ice cream and then, the heat
of her mouth takes over.

I have to stop her before it gets
too much.

“I know where the ice cream is
going next,” I say.

It has softened a little by now
and I drop little mounds of it in a line along her stomach and down to her slit
where she yelps as the cold dessert hits its mark. Every little pile of ice
cream starts to melt and run and I start at her belly button, licking up every
morsel everywhere it has run down over her smooth, soft skin, taking my time
before I get to where I really want to go.

“Mmmh.” I let the vibration of my
lips take its effect before I start lapping at the ice cream there.

“Don't stop,” she says, “Don't
stop.” And I don't, not until I lick up every drop of ice cream, and she comes
against my face and she's laughing. So carefree. I love that. I love her.