Backstage Dirty (The Savage Light Rockers #1) (15 page)

Yeah, it was definitely going to be one she wouldn’t forget, or regret.

****

Beats sat on the bed in his hotel room and stared at his cell. He drummed his fingers on the mattress, tapped his foot on the floor, and knew that what he should do was just leave Zoe alone. She hadn’t tried to contact him this whole time, and although he had sent a few texts to her, the responses had been short, yet friendly. He had hurt her, he knew that, and although that had not been his intention, the effect had still been the same. He picked up his phone and pressed all but one of the numbers to call her. But what could he say? How would he make this situation right? Did it even matter?

He shook his head. Yes, it did matter
, because he cared about her, and he wanted her in his life more than anything. He dialed that last number and brought the phone to his ear. It rang, and rang, and rang for the third time, and when the voicemail kicked on he was tempted to hang up. But he didn’t, and when there was that beep for him to spill his heart out to her, he did just that.

“Zoe, I don’t know what to say that I haven’t typed out and deleted a hundred times before. I’d rather talk to you face-to-face, but until we can do that—if we can do that.” He closed
his eyes and breathed deeply before he continued. He picked at the frayed edge of his pant leg. “Please, call me back so we can talk.” He disconnected the call and grabbed his headphones. After plugging them into his phone, and slipping them over his head, he put on “Frank Sinatra” by Cake, leaned back on the bed. It was up to her if she reached out this time, but Beats didn’t know if he’d be able to stay away now that he forced himself not to ignore what he felt for her.

****

Zoe listened to the voicemail from Beats for the third time, and was forcing herself not to cry. She was done talking, done worrying about what she could have with Beats, and was just ready to move on. Maybe things had never fallen into place because it just wasn’t meant to be. There was a plethora of emotions moving through her, but anger was the fiercest one of all. Since she left him in the room after the kiss, all she had been trying to do was put it behind her and move forward. But then he had been texting her, and she had tried to act as though nothing was wrong. It was hard, though, and all she had wanted to do was call him, hear his voice, and tell him that she wanted so much more. She set her phone down and wrapped the towel around her body tighter. Life moved on, and that was what she wanted to do. She didn’t want to rehash what had happened in his hotel room, didn’t want to hear him say how he saw her as a little sister.

Her fingers itched to pick the phone up again and call him, but she didn’t, because they both just needed to focus on other things, and what would never happen between them. She picked up the phone, went to his voicemail, and deleted it. Doing that hurt, but she couldn’t dwell on things, and needed to find happiness with someone who wanted to share that with her, too.

****

After the tour

They all sat in the basement of Jacks’s home. He had bought a small piece of land in Brookstone, and although he spent a lot of his time in California where the record label he was signed with was located, he still came back home on occasion. The house was huge compared to the other houses in Brookstone, and surrounded by several acres of land. He had it custom built, and currently they were in the basement where his sound studio was. Tanner was sitting on the couch pressed against the wall and watching the guys play an acoustic version of one of their number one hits. Jacks sang softly and played his guitar while Matty, Beats, and Five sang along with him. It was strange seeing this part of them, and even stranger because Zoe wasn’t sitting here with them. It had been months since the situation with Beats had happened, and although Zoe hadn’t gone into detail about it again after that, and Tanner hadn’t asked, she knew there was thick tension still there. But Zoe was with someone now, a pre-med student who was in school with her brother, Lane. She seemed happy, and Tanner supposed that was all that mattered.

Over the rest of the tour she had heard
the band belt out their songs and scream the lyrics to the crowd. It was exhilarating just watching them on stage. But this was a totally different side to them, one that was softer, more down to earth, and reminded her of the guys she had grown up with.

Beats, normally the drummer of the group, started singing the chorus in his gravelly, deep voice
, but there was this sadness in his words, and it didn’t have anything to do with the fact the song was sorrowful in general. He was hurting, that much was clear, and she had a pretty good feeling that it had to do with Zoe. Five, normally the bassist of the group, was playing the piano that was set up in the corner, and the way he played was smooth and flawless. If she hadn’t known these guys personally she would have never thought any of them could reach this kind of softness just from the look of them. Maybe a bit stereotypical, but with their huge muscular bodies, and the tattoos and piercings that covered them, they seemed more heavy metal, beat your ass kind of guys.

She had finished their website and the online store, but she hadn’t stopped tweaking and updating the site. She also was currently working with a clothing designer on some new graphics and items for the band. It was definitely a full-time job, not all smiles and good times, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. She was up most nights going over graphics, worked hard and had plenty of stress, but she was with Jacks, and for that she would do anything to make this life a reality.

But life wasn’t perfect, not with Beats suffering this way. Tanner knew all about screwing stuff up, spending too much time wanting someone and not having the balls to come out and say it, and she wouldn’t have wished that on anyone, especially her best friends. This was their life, and Zoe had made her decision on what she wanted. Jacks had been right, this was one crazy ride. But it was only the beginning, and she looked forward to all the twists and turns this journey provided.

The End

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Other Books by Jenika Snow:

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Evernight Publishing

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