Backstage Pass: On Tour (The Backstage Pass Rock Star Romance) (2 page)

“Let’s go through it again.”

“Fuck! Serious?” Scout
threw his thirty-seventh temper tantrum of the day and I swear to God if I didn’t have so much shit to do, I’d bean him in the fucking head with something sharp.

I
took a breath and tried to calm down just long enough to get this song finished so we could record it tomorrow. “Scout, quit your bitching. Eat a fucking Snickers, you baby.”

Scout stomp
ed over to the kitchenette and yanked the fridge door open. I’d been putting up with his shit for sixteen hour days, and it was moments like these that I missed my coma. He was such a fucking douche some days. I don’t know what the hell happened to him, but he wasn’t always like this. Or maybe he was and I just didn’t see it when we were dicking around playing a couple gigs a month. The pressure was getting to all of us and I know I’m no panda bear to be hanging out with, but he was fucking ridiculous. I was no longer sure we were cut out to tour together for life.

E
veryone has their challenges with co-workers, but accountants don’t have to live with theirs 24/7 on the road. They get a break. I didn’t get a break from Scout, and I wanted nothing more than to be done and out of here.

With Sas
ha getting released, I knew I was putting way more pressure on us than I should have been, but I was dying to see her. Our schedule going forward wasn’t going to get any easier, especially with her up at her mom’s. At least when she was in town I could run over at night after we were done here. Now, I was going to have to fit in road trips between my road trips.

We lost a lot of ground while I was in the hospital and Ainsley was nice enough to cut me slack for the
first few days that I was back. But as soon as it was clear that I was fully recovered she turned up the heat. Because things were going so well she’d tightened everything about our schedule. She said we had to capitalize and strike while our fans were rabid.

I kne
w she was right, but my heart wanted to be with Sasha. We needed a minute to heal. Or a month.

I tr
ied to remind myself that I was doing this for our future. But it was getting harder and harder for me to believe that.

Scout
came back, still pouting. “Let’s finish.”

I tried
not to roll my eyes and glanced at Tate. He nodded and gave us a count.

Two hours later, the song
was finished enough that I knew we could kill it in the studio and refine the last couple chords while we were in there. It was how we’d always done it.

Tate
stood and stretched. “Let’s wrap it for today.”

He
didn’t have to tell me twice. I turned the mic off and checked my phone. Two texts from Sasha, one from Kerri. They should be here any minute. “Later,” I told the guys.

“Same time tomorrow?” Tate ask
ed.

“Yeah.”

Scout didn’t bother to respond. He was such a dick.

I jog
ged down the steps of the studio—this new one as fancy but way more than what we needed. I was content in our old garage but Ainsley said it sent the wrong message. Sometimes I was glad she worried about all that shit; I had enough on my plate.

I hit the
parking lot just as Kerri pulled in and I couldn’t keep the stupid grin off my face. God, I love that girl.

This should have strained our relationship, but
thank goodness that somehow it managed to bring us closer together. I wasn’t sure we could take another hit, not right now, not when we were barely getting our bearings and relearning how to be together. I may have had a lot riding on my music career, but everything was riding on my relationship with Sasha.

***

I leaned forward in my seat, barely able to keep from leaping out of the car. 

I
gripped Kerri’s hand as she eased the car to a stop and pulled into the parking spot next to where Jesse was standing. I didn’t think I was ever going to get enough of looking at him, especially after spending so many days watching him in that coma, each day more heartbreaking than the last.

Now we were on the mend
and even though we had a long way to go, I knew in my heart that we were finally on the right track. Going to Mom’s was going to be a challenge but one we could face, especially after everything we’d been through to this point. I forced myself to wait until Kerri stopped before leaping out of the car. No point in setting my physical therapy any further back with an idiotic excited move.

Jesse
yanked the door open and pulled me into his arms. “It’s so good to see you, baby.”

I inhale
d the scent of him, reveling in how quickly it calmed me. His fingers roamed across my back, strong and sure. We pulled apart only far enough to see each other’s face. “I wish I didn’t have to go to Mom my Dad’s.”

He smiled and stroked my cheek.
“Me neither. It’s going to be a few days before I can get up there. But I’ll call you every chance I get.” He kissed me softly and held our lips together and I could feel the strength of him.

Jess
e leaned down and waved at Kerri. “Thanks for bringing her. And for taking her up to her mom’s. Be sure she gets there safely okay? I hope you’re a better driver than I am.”

Kerry laugh
ed, feeling a little awkward and I could tell she wanted to give us some space. I didn’t want to slam the door on her but I didn’t want to stand here and force my legs to do more work than they could handle. Her phone rang and I could tell by her face that it was Axel.

“Grab that
and we’ll go sit over there. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

She
waved at us and lovingly cradled the phone. Jesse slipped an arm under my elbow. “She’s got it pretty bad.”

I shook my head and smiled
. “You don’t know the half of it. I don’t even know the half of it but I guess they’re moving in together.”

“Really?”

I nodded and we sat down on the bench at the edge of the parking lot. “I guess so. I’m going to make her spill the whole story on the drive up.”

He laced our fingers together and held them tightly. “
I feel bad that you guys haven’t spent enough time together lately.”

“
Yeah, me too. But now that she and Axel are inseparable, and you and I want to be inseparable, it makes our schedules tough.”

He ran a finger up and down my arm lightly.
“I guess that’s one good thing about you being up at your mom’s, it will give you and Kerri more time to talk.”

I
shrugged. “Probably just on the phone like me and you.”

“
I wish I could just take a month off, drive us somewhere and escape.”

I chuckled
. “Yeah, that didn’t go so well last time.” I looked sideways at him, teasing.

He groaned. “
I can’t believe I nearly killed us.”

I fel
t bad bringing it up, he already has so much on his plate and I didn’t want to add to it. We’d find a space to mourn what we’d lost, but I didn’t want to do it now and leave on a sad note. I leaned over and laid my head on his chest.

He stroked my back. “Even with all of that, with all the horror and awfulness and you still working on recovery and me with my scrambled brains, I still feel like we’re better
now than we’ve ever been.”

I turn
ed my face into his chest and kissed him. Then I settled my cheek against the warmth of his heartbeat. “Me too. It does seem strange though, that now is when we pick to be so strong.”

“I think it’s because we have to be.” He stroked
my hair, repeatedly tucking it behind my ear and gliding his fingers on my neck. “This isn’t going to be easy, babe.”

“
I know,” I whispered. “But nothing about the relationship has been so far, so why start now?”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know, I wouldn’t mind just a week of normal.”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his back.

Kerri hung up and got out of the car
. She waited for me to look at her and then she waved.

“
I guess we need to get on the road.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to miss you a lot.”

“I don’t even think there’s a way to measure how much I’m going to miss you.” I sat up and he cradled my face.

“We can do this. Don’t ever give up on us.”

Tears stung my eyes and I blinked them away, still unwilling to give in to the sadness creeping in. I knew he was right. I knew this was for the best and I hadn’t even told him about Mom and how she’s been since the accident. I was going to find a way to fix that, so hopefully it wouldn’t matter. He kissed my nose, my cheeks, my lips, as my eyes dropped closed. I took another deep breath and tried to remember everything about this moment. I had no idea how long it was going to be before I got to see him again and this one moment was going to have to sustain me.

He walked me over to Kerri’s car and
opened my door for me. I kissed him again, slowly, tenderly. His tongue swept out across my lips and I kissed him back, letting the passion and worry mingle together just like our tongues.

While he
kissed me, he hummed a tune, and in it, I heard the promise of better days. A promise for our future.

The tears only lasted for a few miles. Then Kerri managed to run us through enough songs that my heartache eased. I was going to miss him so much. It wasn’t really fair; we’d had so little time together but I had to stop comparing us to anyone else.

I sniff
ed and straightened in my seat. We just had to make the most of the time we did have.

Kerri glance
d over. “You okay, babe?”

I smile
d at her and for the first time in a long time it was a real smile and I was so overwhelmed by how much she meant to me. Before I could spiral back into a bawl-fest, I linked our fingers together. “So good, thanks to you. Now spill it.”

She sighed
and tipped her head. “Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure once I start gushing about him, I’m not going to be able to shut up about it.”

“Gush away, pretty girl.”

“Oh my gosh, Sasha. I had no idea guys could be like this. I really didn’t. Axel is the most fantastic man I’ve ever met. He’s sweet and kind.” She glanced at me from beneath her lowered lashes. “And sexy, holy shit.” She fanned herself and I laughed. She was such a dork. But I loved her and this was so fun and fantastic to see. I adored Axel, always had, he just wasn’t my type and we were always such good friends that I didn’t ever want to do anything to ruin that. Gosh, that felt like a lifetime ago that he was even pursuing me. And yet, to see her so over the moon about him made me feel so light and bubbly inside.

I settl
ed into the seat and she regaled me with all the sweetness of how he courted her and took their relationship from what she thought was a rebound after that douche bag—I sighed, the one completely responsible for hooking me up with Jesse—into something delightful.

She
carried on for miles and miles, pausing only when we had to get out and refill the tank or pee. I watched men as they noticed her and she was completely oblivious. Completely. Kerri had never been oblivious in her entire life. Not one single time. Even when she was dating guys—seriously dating them. Axel had done a number on her and I was so happy for her I could burst.

And there
was something sweet and fantastic about having my best friends together as a couple. It would be nice if one day my life was mellow and normal enough that I could hang out with them like we used to.

By the time we
got to Mom’s I was freaking beat. This had been the longest I’d gone without a nap and PT was enough to wipe me out, let alone “the toughest PT I’d ever done” coupled with leaving Jesse and a giant road-trip.

“You doing okay?” Kerri asked, pulling into the driveway. “You look rough.”

I laughed and let her help me out of the car. “Yeah, I’m okay, and I could use a nap.”

“Okay, let’s get inside and then I’ll make your dad come help me bring this stuff in.”

Mom met us at the door and when she saw me her face crumpled and she rushed toward us. “Sasha, you look terrible.”

“Thanks,” I mutter
ed, trying to not be hurt about her brutal honesty.

“Sorry, but I thought you were recovered. You said you were doing better.”

“I am doing better,” I huffed, getting more and more offended at how she was making this my fault. We weren’t off to a great start and I was still harboring some serious hurt from everything that had happened over the last month. I had a feeling that I was facing a lot more healing here than just my body.

“Here, sit on the couch.”

I eased myself down and she and Kerri made small talk about the trip while they carted in my luggage. Kerri hemmed and hawed but I could tell she was ready to turn around and head back to Axel. And I didn’t blame her. I was going to probably sleep away the next twelve to eighteen hours based on how exhausted I felt, and the supercharged energy in the room between me and Mom had to be palpable for her too.

“Kerri, I think I’m going to head u
p to bed. Are you going to stay or go?”

She twisted her fingers and shifted from foot to foot. “If I go now, I can be back before dinner.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Good to see that Mom’s guilt still worked in some areas. Wow, I really did need a nap if I was going to be that cranky.

I stood and gave Kerri a hug. “Totally fine if you take off
. But will I see you again, or not until the wedding?”

“Wedding?” Mom shrieked and I sighed.

“She’s kidding.” Kerri hugged me tight. “We’re not married, just taking it to the next level. He still has a long way to go before I’m ready for that—even if he is amazing.”

I kiss
ed her cheek. “See you, babe. Be careful, okay? And text me when you get home—if you can keep his hands off you long enough after being apart for this long.”

She ducked her head but the grin on her face told a different story. And I was pretty sure
he’d reached this point of total devotion way before she did—which was good since I’d been breaking his heart for a while.

Sh
e headed out and I didn’t give Mom a chance to make up for her initial comments. “I’m beat. Think I’ll go lay down.” Before she could answer, I slowly climbed the stairs to my bedroom. I hadn’t been here since the night I lost my V with Jesse and I couldn’t help but smile as I curled up beneath the bedspread. Sleep latched hold of me instantly and sweet oblivion cradled my body.