Backstreet Mom: A Mother's Tale of Backstreet Boy AJ McLean's Rise to Fame, Struggle With Addiction, and Ultimate Triumph (10 page)

After the first few episodes were filmed, we concentrated on finding a
way to sell the series. The perfect opportunity came along when we
heard about an upcoming convention in New Orleans. It was one of
those once-a-year deals where television producers and network executives get together to pitch their wares.

We booked ourselves a tiny space at the convention and built a small,
portable set to take with us. We costumed our cast in bright, eye-catching garb and creative hairstyles. If nothing else, they would be noticed!

We flew to New Orleans, along with a camera, light and sound crew,
a few days early so that we could finish filming and editing our pilot.
The city had just completed a huge new aquarium and park on the Mississippi River, so we shot some scenes there.

Alex and Amber did a great piece about the rain forest. The simulated
set of lush foliage provided the perfect backdrop. You could hear the
rain falling and see the mist
all around them. Next came
Alex's piece about the albino alligator. He was less
than thrilled when he
found out that the two-foot
reptile was not stuffed, but
rather the real thing with its
mouth taped shut. You
could see the nervousness
on his face as he recited his
lines and held the gator. I
highly doubted he would
ever want to try that again.

That week we worked
our butts off. We did everything we could to convince
the television movers and
shakers that we had a hot
product, but, in the end, we
were disappointed once
again. After almost two
years of hard work, the pilot was never picked up. J. Michael ran out of money and I ended up nearly broke. The only thing we
had to show for our efforts were some industry contacts and sonic useless
stock in a company that was going nowhere. I knew there were risks
going into the venture, but it all seemed like such a good idea. When J.
Michael and I parted ways, I was devastated.

Alex with Richard Kiel, James
Bond's "Jaws" in New Orleans

During that time, J. Michael and I had become very close friends.
Alex adored him. At one point, I even recall J. Michael professing deep
feelings of affection toward me; but as the money grew tight and tempers flared I became bitter and felt used. I vowed never again to work
for someone unless they paid me a decent wage. Never again would I be
so quick to lend my time and loyalty to someone without knowing exactly what I was getting myself into.

I lost more than my money in that experience. My self-esteem took a
nose-dive as well. I felt as if I had failed my son. I was heartbroken. My
savings were dwindling away. I didn't know how much longer I could
exist without finding a job. One thing I realized after living in Orlando
for almost a year was that I needed to be located in another part of
town. My commute to the agents and people I needed to see meant that
I had to travel across town to attend meetings.

Our lease was coming up for renewal and there had been a couple of
problems with some of the appliances breaking down, so we moved
into a brand-new apartment that was located in a good school district.
The rent was cheaper and it had some features that all of us liked-a
swimming pool, a gym and Alex's favorite, a billiard table.

Once we were moved and settled, I updated my resume and started
looking for a job. As I searched and interviewed I found myself really
unmotivated. I lost focus and became depressed. In the past, when I
found myself at a crossroads, I sometimes reached out for spiritual help.
One of the good things that came out of meeting J. Michael was that he
re-introduced me to something that would become very important in
my life: spiritual readings.

Not long after we first met, he drove me to a small town about fortyfive minutes outside of Orlando called Cassadaga. It was a small community populated mostly by psychics. They had their own church and
post office. There was a small hotel and some bookshops that sold metaphysical materials, but people didn't go there to shop, they went to get
psychic readings. The services offered ran the gamut, from Tarot cards
to numerology. It was a very interesting place.

My first experience there was with a spirit-guide reading. It was very
strange since the psychic who read for me hardly looked at me throughout the hour. She introduced me to my spirit guide, an uncle named Andrew Reinhardt who had passed away several years before. She spoke
with him and then relayed the information to me. She looked out the
window at "Uncle Andy" most of the time, but I did get some guidance
and thanked him for watching over me.

The next time, I had a more traditional, tarot-card reading. The psychic told me of things past, present and future and used a set of picture
cards that I shuffled and she cut into three piles. Each pile represented a
different time frame. Again, it was helpful.

Even though I was raised in the Lutheran Church, I have never really
been one for organized religion. It is difficult for me to buy into the
whole idea of one specific interpretation of the Bible. Organized religions seem to make up too many rules about what you should not do
and they don't stress enough the things that you should do.

I have attended many church services and I've even gone to a few
temples. I once considered converting to Judaism since it seemed to be
the closest belief system to my own. I look at myself as a follower of the
spirit rather than a follower of any specific organized church. I just try
to be a good person everyday.

Upon my return to Cassadega, I got an appointment with E. Matthew
Sekunna, the son of the head of the psychic community. He started with
a palm reading and told me that many great things lay in wait for my
son and me. It became clear that my son's life path and mine were to be
entwined in a number of ways for many years to come.

Matthew told me I would meet a man in a big white house. He described him quite vividly: he was a large man with glasses, light-colored
hair and eyes, and he had a jolly attitude and warm personality. In addition, he told me to beware of two women associated with this man. The
part about the two women was a bit vague.

The description Matthew gave of the big white house was so clear
that I could see it in my mind's eye. It was on a large plot of land that
you could see from the road. It was a contemporary-style, one-story
home with a tile roof. There was a circular driveway with a fountain in
the center. When he finished that reading, he asked if he could do a
numerology reading for Alex. I thought that odd since Alex was not
with me. I told him he was very young and there was probably not
much to tell yet.

Matthew disagreed. He said he felt strong vibrations coming from me
with regards to my son. There seemed to be a very powerful force of
royalty around him. I acquiesced and he proceeded with his reading.
That was the first time that I had seen a numerology reading and it
proved to he quite interesting.

From just his birth date and time, Matthew was able to tell me a lot
about my son. He informed me that Alex had been some kind of king in
a former life. His path was destined for fame and fortune. Again, he
went back to this big man and how we would both meet him in the next
few months. Matthew kept coming back to one main point throughout
every reading: this large man in the big white house would change our
lives forever.

Not only did I feel better about myself after that encounter with Matthew, I also felt better about the decisions I had made in my life up to
that point. It took a lot to get over my depression. I was using up my
savings every month and desperately needed to find a job. Thankfully,
that came about rather quickly.

I was relieved when I landed a really nice job that I enjoyed. I started
working with children ages three and up in a franchised computer school.
It was great fun. This was in 1991, when most public schools were just
getting into computers and not
many families had them in their
homes yet. Since the starting salary was low, I ended up supplementing my income by tutoring
some students privately on the
weekends or in the evenings. I
found the job very fulfilling and
it provided a much-needed
change from the entertainment
industry.

Alex's graduation from Denn John
Middle School

Life seemed to be getting back
on track for us. My dad was still
working so that was a big help
during the rough times. Neither
of my parents ever complained or
criticized me for my decision. Of
course, they were disappointed
when the television show ended
up being a bust, but we all moved
past that and continued with our
lives. I eventually pulled myself out of my depression by working with the children and by doing fun
stuff with my son on the weekends.

Around that time, Alex tried out for a new Star Search series. His
audition went badly. He failed to even get a callback. I began to worry in
earnest. The jobs were getting few and far between for him. He couldn't
help but be discouraged. I could not bring myself to admit defeat to
Mom and Dad, so I kept plugging away.

Alex started classes at his new school and began to work with his
drama teacher, who helped Alex get into some local theater productions. It was then that I felt as though he had come full circle back to his
roots of musical theater. It kept him busy and he learned from each role.

I was saddened that I could not become involved with the new group,
due to the long hours my job required. I was lucky to even make it to
the shows. However, he understood my situation. There was no way I
could have kept him in those classes had I not been working extra jobs.
Finally, Alex found an opportunity that excited him.

It began with an advertisement in the local newspaper for an upcoming Latin talent festival. Alex was intrigued by the ad because it called
for a teen that could sing and dance to all different types of music. Stretching the fact that Alex's grandfather was of Latin descent, we went to the
audition.

Upon entering the hotel room where the audition was taking place, I
stopped dead in my tracks. A man with a video camera greeted us. That
was it. No assistants. No other people whatsoever. My initial response
was to bolt, but Alex insisted on staying. He walked up to the man with
his hand outstretched and introduced himself.