Bad Boy Baby Daddy (11 page)

Could I really do it?

No, of course not. I’d never written before. I had no frame of reference other than the books I’d read by other authors.

Suddenly I remembered Kaiden’s words to me as a child.
‘You’re gonna be the best author ever, Ri.’

Hmm…maybe I
could
give it a go. Maybe I owed it to eleven-year-old me to at least try, and hell, writing would certainly distract me from my shitty health problems for a few hours.

I might not have any experience, but I supposed everyone had to start somewhere. Plus, I had my fantasies to work with. Romance novels were no longer tame, like they used to be when I was younger. These days they were hot, steamy, and exciting. Sex was an important part of them, so to begin with, why didn’t I try to write a sexy scene while my fantasies were all fresh in my mind?

I raced across the room and grabbed my laptop before opening up a word processing document, and my fingers began to fly over the keyboard almost immediately.

I watch him move his body closer to mine, wrapping his arms around me. My heart is racing with desire, almost bursting from my chest as I feel myself getting so close to what I’ve been desiring all these years.

“Patrick?” I say, wanting him to look into my eyes. I love the way his blue eyes seem to glow in the light, and I need to connect with them right away.

“Yes?” he says, flashing me an inviting smile. He’s happy to be here with me; his eyes are showing that he’s feeling exactly the same way I am.

“I love you.”

I let those words flow free, and it’s like a weight is suddenly being lifted from my shoulders. I’ve felt this way for a very long time, but I’ve never had the opportunity to express it before.

“I love you too,” he replies before crushing my lips with his.

As our mouths feast on each other, he slowly walks me backwards until I’m pressed against the wall, and then he tugs my top off over my head.

“I want to see you. All of you,” he says, eyes darkening with desire.

I claw at his shirt, wanting to see the thick, ropey muscles that lie beneath. We’ve tried to fight this attraction for too long, and now that we’re finally succumbing to it, I almost don’t know what to do with myself. I need absolutely everything from him.

His ripped torso is a wonderful contrast to my soft curves. Our obvious differences seem to make us work that much better together; we really are a classic case of opposites attract.

I stopped typing for a moment and read back over what I’d done so far, wondering if it was worth anything. Was this all terribly amateur? Was my writing awful? For a moment I was stricken with nerves, but then I realized that I didn’t actually care. Editing could take care of any issues with my writing. At least I was giving it a go and actually trying to write. That was much better than allowing my dream to slip away without even trying, and I wondered why I’d never done this before. Why had I let fear dictate so much of my life?

I kept on typing.

I can feel heat pooling in the bottom of my stomach, slowly creeping its way around my body. It’s setting each one of my limbs on fire, leaving me dizzy with desire. I’m trapped in a lusty haze, and the more that Patrick kisses me, the more intense it becomes.

The more that I wrote, the more I started to feel a little like my main character, as if she were an actual part of me. Of course, in my mind, everything that was happening was between me and Kaiden, so it was hardly surprising that I was quickly becoming turned on.

As he unhooks my bra and tosses it aside, I start to feel emboldened under his scrutinizing gaze. Normally I’m shy about my body, but the way that Patrick is looking at me is making me feel like the sexiest damn woman on the planet.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says before running his hands over my naked breasts, tweaking and playing with my nipples. “And you’re mine.”

I throw my head back, closing my eyes and finally losing myself in the moment. Patrick takes full advantage of this, placing gentle pecks all over my neck, and goose bumps pepper my skin as a reaction to his kisses.

“Oh, god…” I start to groan under his touch, acutely aware of the hot, wet desire between my legs.

As his fingers travel down my body and work their way towards my panties, I gasp, unable to contain my passion any longer. He’s finally going to find out just how much he turns me on. He traces the outline of my underwear, teasingly, until I almost can’t take it anymore, and then, just to send me wild, he presses himself against me, allowing me to feel his rock-hard erection against my leg.

“All for you,” he murmurs into my ear.

I found my hands itching to travel up and down my own body as I wrote this. I was on the edge of desire, and I might just explode if I didn’t give in and give myself what I wanted. I was desperate for an orgasm over the thought of Kaiden doing these things to me, but I couldn’t give in. Not yet. Not when I was on such a roll.

My hands stayed on the keyboard.

He eventually gives me what I want, sliding one of his fingers inside me.

“So wet,” he groans. “So tight.”

I have to fully rest my back against the cool, hard wall because I’m afraid that my legs will buckle at any moment. This is almost too much for me.

He slips in another finger, then another, slowly curling them towards my front wall before pulling out and circling my clit.

“Do you want it?” he asks. I’m too engulfed in passion to respond, so I simply nod. “No, that’s not good enough,” he continues. His tone is commanding now, controlling me. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you,” I whisper, almost losing myself in what he’s doing to my body.

“To do what?” he demands, still not satisfied.

“To…to fuck me,” I say, using cruder language than I’ve ever done while fooling around before.

He rewards my obedience by pulling away from me and yanking down his pants, allowing his erection to spring free. I throw my hands over my mouth at the sight of it. It’s bigger than I could have ever imagined
—
much bigger than I’ve ever had before.

“Like what you see?” he says with a playful smirk, pleased by my reaction.

I don’t answer him. I don’t even need to; he can see how badly I want him, so instead I step forward and wrap my hands around his shaft, feeling every inch of it. I glance up at him for a moment before dropping to my knees and wrapping my hungry mouth around him.

I couldn’t take it anymore. The idea of having Kaiden’s cock in my mouth was too damn much. The thought of being under his control completely overcame me, and I slipped one hand into my underwear, teasing myself.

I used the other hand to write, for as long as I could.

Patrick groans under the power of my lips as I turn him into a trembling mess. After a few minutes, he clearly can’t take it anymore, and he takes my face in his hands and pulls me up.

“No more, Maria,” he says. “I need to feel you.”

That’s exactly what I need too. He guides me back towards the wall and lifts me up, and as we kiss deeply I throw one of my legs around him, gasping as I feel his cock teasing my entrance.

“Please,” I beg. “I can’t take it anymore. I need you now.”

He stares at me, eyes smoldering, and then he plunges deep inside me…

I couldn’t take it for another second. I stopped typing and let the laptop slide off my legs as I became too turned on to continue.

I tipped my head backwards before closing my eyes and picturing myself and Kaiden more clearly. He was thrusting inside me up against a wall, just as Patrick and Maria were doing in my story.

My fingers flicked over my clit, teasing and coaxing it out, and I arched my back with pleasure. I couldn’t believe how much I’d turned myself on with my own writing. That had to be a good sign, right? It mustn’t be too bad, if it’d done this
to me. Then again, it wasn’t exactly the writing that had turned me on….it was the thought of Kaiden.

Why-oh-why had I pushed him away last night when he kissed me? I knew there had been a reason, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was; not while I was this aroused.

I slid my other hand down between my legs and dipped one finger inside my slick entrance, and I groaned before biting my lower lip to stop myself from crying out. I was lost now; lost in the fantasy. Nothing would’ve been able to drag me out of it in that moment, not even reality, like the fact that Kaiden could never be mine or the fact that my health had been compromised…none of it.

That’s the thing about fantasies. Nothing and no one can ever take them away from you.

I sighed with pleasure, and in my mind, Kaiden fucked me harder.

Deeper.

Faster.

Without remorse.

My body began to shudder and tremble beneath my expert touch. This orgasm felt like it’d been building for a very long time, like I’d been balancing on the edge of it forever, and when it finally burst free, I really let go. I screamed, I moaned, I writhed. I truly gave in to the pleasure, and part of me wondered if it would feel this good with Kaiden in real life.

Not that I’d ever have the chance to find out.

I leaned back in the chair, panting heavily and basking in my post-climactic glow before reality started to settle around me once more.

Everything that I’d allowed myself to forget about while I’d been writing returned to the forefront of my mind, leaving me with only two options. I could crawl into bed and weep over everything that I might never have—Kaiden, a baby, and a family—or I could remember everything that I’d just thought about and write it down, completing the scene. One of these choices would mean facing up to the depressing truth, and the other would be working towards a better future where I could change that truth and make a whole new destiny for myself.

So which would it be?

I only thought about it for a second longer, and then I picked up my laptop and allowed the words to flow on the screen once more.

Chapter 10

Kaiden

“Urgh...”

I grunted to myself, allowing the front door of my house to slam shut behind me as I strode inside. The press conference had been a fucking nightmare—Serra had been fooling me earlier with her ‘
I don’t give a shit’
attitude about the whole deal. She’d ruled the entire thing, manipulating every moment to make herself look like the ‘good girl’ in the situation, and she’d made me look like a bumbling idiot at the same time. I really should’ve learned my lesson by now. I knew what she was capable of, but I’d allowed myself to get sucked in once again.

What a fool.

None of it would have happened if Riley had been there, and I found myself wishing she had been for the millionth time today. She’d said she had an appointment to get to, but I had no idea what it was. I guess it was none of my business, anyway.

I stomped up into the kitchen, flicking my espresso machine on to make myself a drink, as I didn’t think that I could go another moment without any caffeine inside me. As I finally allowed myself to sit down, I took a moment to absorb it all. This had been a huge day for me—possibly the most important one of my life so far. It was really happening; I was really going to be a father. Much as the rest of it was a nightmare, there was at least that one positive thing coming out of it.
The baby. My baby.

I could deal with all of Serra’s bullshit if I just kept my mind focused on that one prize.

‘Are you looking forward to being a dad?’
one of the journalists had asked me at the press conference, a serious expression plastered on his face.

‘Yes, of course,’
I’d replied with a broad grin. I knew I hadn’t been portrayed very well up until this point, and I’d wanted to do all that I could to change that. I needed them to know that I was going to do a good job as a father.

‘Are you nervous?’
he’d shot back, causing everyone else to laugh.

I’d admitted that I was, and of course that much was true. I was shit scared, actually, but I was certain that my past would work to help me, and I knew I’d use all that had happened to me as a child to become a positive role model. I wouldn’t be like my Dad; I would do the exact opposite. If I just kept that in mind, the rest of it would be okay.

I idly picked up my phone, not really thinking about what I was doing. Before I’d even considered my actions, I’d dialed a number.
Riley.
I’d promised to call her earlier, to tell her what happened at the press conference, but I hadn’t even prepared myself yet. She was likely going to ask all kinds of questions that she wasn’t going to like the answer to.

“Hello?” she said when she finally picked up. She sounded distracted, which wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all. I’d thought she’d be gagging to know all of the details about the conference, and I thought she’d be about ready to tear me apart.

“Hey, Riley,” I said. “I er…I just wanted to let you know that I’m home from the press conference.”

“Oh, okay. How do you think it went?” she asked.

“It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, either,” I said.

It suddenly hit me just how much I wanted to see her. No, I
needed
to see her; needed her by my side to get rid of Serra’s shadow, which was still somehow looming over my mind.

“Can you come over?” I added.

“Are you alone?” she asked, finally paying attention. Her tone was cautious—clearly she didn’t want another run in with Serra, and I didn’t blame her for that. If I could avoid her, I’d do the same.

“Yes. I managed to shake her off,” I replied, chuckling awkwardly. This whole thing still felt like a touchy subject, and it was causing some sort of weird tension between us.

“Okay, I’ll head over now, and we can go through what happened at the conference.”

“Sure. Only if you want to,” I said, detecting a hint of caginess in her voice again.

Why the hell was I acting this way? Normally it was my confidence that attracted girls, and I used that to my advantage, but right now I felt like a twelve year old kid who had no idea how to talk to a girl.

“I do,” she insisted quickly. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

The feeling of unease didn’t leave me, long after we hung up the phone. Something was not quite right. What was going on in Riley’s life? Why did it feel like she was hiding something huge? I’d told her so much about my own life right now, so why was she keeping me in the dark? Surely we were beyond just a professional relationship at this point.

I wandered from room to room as I waited for her to arrive; my body restless until I could see her again. I found myself examining my stuff—the things that were always just there in my home, but I never really looked at. I’d hired an interior designer to make my place nice when I’d first moved in, but as I picked up some random odds and ends sitting on a desk in the spacious home office I’d strolled into, I realized that none of it was really
me
.

And that was how I stumbled across some old photograph albums.

They’d been shoved under some other books I’d haphazardly unpacked all those months before, and they’d been totally ignored since. I’d never wanted to look back, and I’d always had my eyes fixed on the future—onto me as a fighter—but Riley had undoubtedly changed that. Her arrival back in my life had shaken everything up, and now all sorts of emotions were flooding through me.

I wasn’t sure if I liked that or not.

My heart began to race as I flicked one of the albums open to the first page, transporting myself back into those memories. The first image was a happy one—me and Riley, aged about five, jumping in mud puddles. We were ecstatic to be around each other, grinning our little heads off in the photo. I couldn’t help but smile at the moment. We’d seemed so free back then. She’d always made me feel like I could take on the world, and in a way, she still made me feel like that.

The next page brought with it another memory, but not a good one. It was me and my father. He had his arms wrapped around the younger version of me, but even though this was supposed to be a tender moment, I could still see the strain behind my eyes. The alcoholism had been starting to kick in then; my mother’s death finally hitting him hard. She’d gone when I was too young to even remember her, but he hadn’t fully accepted it until then. It was as if he’d been suspended in purgatory and then suddenly decided to descend into hell.

The more he drank, the worse he became. His temper would flare up at almost nothing, and this eventually turned to physical violence. The more frequent this became, the more I began to rely on Riley. I sat back and remembered one of the more horrifying memories.

I raced to Riley’s house, the tears streaming down my cheeks. Blood was pouring from my mouth, and I knew if my father found me again, he’d give me a bleeding nose to match. He’d come back from the bar angry, and I hadn’t done the dishes on time, so he’d just flipped out.

There had been yelling
—
so much yelling
—
before he’d finally lashed out.

I was only eight years old, and I couldn’t get my head around why my life was so different to everyone else’s. No one else knew, of course. No one but her
—
my angel. I was too embarrassed to admit my shitty home life to any of my other friends, in case they confirmed my suspicions that it was my fault.

Riley looked up, hearing the sound of my footfall.

“Oh my gosh…Kaiden!” she shouted, her eyes wide with fear.

She jumped up from where she was playing in the garden and instantly rushed to my side. She threw her arms around me, giving me the love and comfort that I spent my days yearning for, and I sniffled, trying to stop crying.

“Let’s get you cleaned up again,” she said, squeezing my hand. She didn’t even care that I’d gotten blood all over her sweater.

She didn’t need to ask what happened, and I loved that about her. She just knew, and she accepted that this was an unfortunate part of our friendship. I knew she and her Mom had tried to intervene by calling social services, but they’d done nothing to help.

I staggered behind Riley, heading into her bathroom, and she grabbed the first aid kit. She got to work, dabbing Betadine on the cut above my lip and wiping all the blood away. I kept my gaze trained on her the entire time; lost in her eyes as she concentrated. She was only eight years old too, but we’d both been forced to grow up too quickly through my father’s behavior.

At that moment, I decided that Riley Solis would always be in my life.

The media and my fans thought I was a charming, happy-go-lucky guy without a care in the world. None of them knew the truth about my life and background. None of them knew that I got into fighting as a way to defend myself, and as a physical release from all the crap in my past. They all just saw me as a single personality; as the Kaiden Cross they saw in the cage. Riley knew the truth, though. I could trust her not to tell anyone, but it would always be between us, no matter what. It would hang over us forever in an unspoken bond.

Do I love her?

That thought popped into my head so quickly that it actually took me aback for a second. Love?
No, whatever I felt for her, it couldn’t be that. I’d loved her as a kid in an innocent way, but I barely knew her anymore. The girl from my photo albums had grown into a woman; one with an entire life that I knew nothing about. It was impossible to love someone you didn’t really know.

At least that’s what I told myself.

My heart started to thump so loudly that I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. I couldn’t think about Riley this way. I needed to push anything like that aside, because we both had too much going on for any of this. Any romantic thoughts were only going to cause extra complications. I didn’t need that, nor did she.

Bzz.
The downstairs buzzer sounded, meaning Riley had already arrived.

Shit. I’d thought she wouldn’t be here for another fifteen minutes at least. My head was all over the place and my insides were dancing with emotion, and I wasn’t going to have any time to get my head straight.

“Erm…Riley?” I said over the intercom. “Come on up. I’m buzzing you in.”

As I heard her move up the stairs a moment later, I sucked in a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. She was here to discuss my press conference, my public image, Serra, and my baby. I should have stayed focused on that, and I’d been stupid to drag up bad memories. That was never going to end well. Riley was my PR girl now, not my best friend, and I needed to remember that.

Famous last words.

As soon as my eyes spotted her, I melted all over again. Why did she have to be so damned gorgeous? Her face was makeup-free but flawless, her clothes hugged every curve in the best possible way, and her hair hung naturally, making her look like a goddess. It was like she was trying to make it difficult for me to keep my attraction to her to myself, but at the same time, her beauty was effortless. She couldn’t help being so sexy, and I doubted she even knew the effect she had on men.

“Hi, Kaiden,” she said. She sat down, immediately making herself at home. “How are you?”

“Yeah, I’m all right. I wasn’t entirely honest with you on the phone earlier, though.”

“Oh?”

“Well, the press conference was actually kind of awful,” I admitted.

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, your manager filled me in on the main points of it, and I watched a quick video of it online before I came here,” she said. “Serra seemed to do most of the talking. She really took over, didn’t she?”

She was trying to say that I’d done a crappy job, but in a tactful way, and I nodded, unable to make eye contact with her.

“It doesn’t matter. We can still turn it around,” she added, accepting that there was nothing that could be done at this exact moment.

“I needed you today,” I said quietly. “I think the reason I sucked so badly is because you weren’t there.”

She didn’t say anything in response, only stared at me, and it was as if the room had been swallowed up by a black hole. Clearly, I’d worded that badly and made it sound like I was blaming her, but I couldn’t stop myself from letting the words spill out. I wanted her to know exactly how important she was to me and how much I appreciated her work, but I’d never been the best at phrasing things.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice breaking over her words. “You’re right. I should’ve been there. I just…”

My eyes snapped up as her voice trailed off. Why did she sound so sad? The way she’d apologized just about broke my damn heart.

“Hey, hey, I wasn’t blaming you,” I said. “I just meant that I feel better when you’re around to help.”

“I know, but I still should’ve been there. I had an important appointment, but I could’ve rescheduled it or…”

She trailed off as if she just couldn’t finish.

“Woah, what’s up, Ri?” I asked, racing to her side. I wanted to touch her; to wrap her up in my arms like she used to do to me, but something was holding me back.

“It’s nothing to do with work. Sorry I brought it up,” she said. She shook her head, obviously frustrated at herself. “We need to decide our next move for you.”