Bad Boy Brit (A British Bad Boy Romance) (34 page)

Chapter 13

Riley

“
What
?”

I gasped at Kaiden’s words and slumped down onto the sofa. He seemed so excited about what he’d just said, but it was totally crazy. “Us? A baby?”

“Yes. I’m serious. Why not have one with me?”

My mind was still spinning with his words, so I didn’t reply just yet, and I simply gulped instead.

“Ri, I already thought that I was going to have a baby with Serra—that made me realize that I’m ready. I want to be a father. More than anything,” he said. He stepped forward and knelt down to the level I was now sitting at before grabbing my hands and staring into my eyes. “Seriously, Riley, let’s do it.”

“I don’t—” I began to speak, but he interrupted.

“I know, I know, this might seem like I’ve gone insane.” He backed away from me, running his fingers through his hair. “But
think
about it. You want a child, I want a child, and we already know each other. I know we could parent well together. It just…it makes sense, doesn’t it?”

He stared at me, desperate for me to agree; desperate for me to see his logic.

I didn’t have a clue how to answer him. Did it make sense? In some ways, maybe, but in so many others…definitely not.

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t deadly serious. I wouldn’t screw around like that. I know how important this is.”

He smiled weakly, sending all kinds of emotions soaring through my mind, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together. Serra’s vicious words kept popping up into my mind—especially the comment about Kaiden and I having a kid together. When she’d said it, it had seemed crazy, but apparently it had sparked something inside Kaiden.

I was still speechless, so Kaiden kept talking.

“I think you’ve finally seen that I’m not the man everyone thinks I am. I could see it in your eyes when you saw me again for the very first time. You thought it too; same as everyone else. That I was a jerk, a player, an idiot. You were disappointed, of course you were.”

“I…” I tried to argue, but he wasn’t going to let me get a word in edgeways.

“I don’t blame you; I
was
acting like an idiot,” he said.

I cringed at this. Was it really so obvious how I’d felt when we’d first seen each other again, after so many years apart? I certainly didn’t feel that way anymore, but he wasn’t allowing me to get a word in to say so.

“But now you’ve seen the truth. You’ve seen that I’ll be a good dad. Let me do this for you. Let me get you pregnant. Let me help you the way you always helped me when we were kids.”

He’d absolutely stunned me into silence. I had no idea what to think, never mind what I was going to do about it. Some of his words had been accurate—I did know what kind of man he was now, and I also knew we would be able to co-parent well together. We’d known each other for years, so I knew we’d find a way to make it work, despite the fact that we’d spent so much time apart.

But was this what I really wanted? Was
this
how I wanted to have a baby…with a friend, rather than a partner?

I stood up and paced around the room like a zombie, completely lost in thought. I could feel Kaiden watching me intently from the other side of the room, but he didn’t say anything. His idea wasn’t the sort of thing that I could decide for or against on the spot, but then again, time wasn’t exactly a luxury I had either, considering what my doctor had told me.

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

There were so many arguments against doing this, but I couldn’t deny that it could also be a good idea too, and when I hadn’t replied for a good five minutes, Kaiden finally got up and approached me, his eyes searching mine for an answer…an answer I still didn’t know how to give.

“If I say yes, how would we do it?” I asked, slowly trying to piece at least a semblance of a thought together. “Like…with a turkey baster and a cup? I’m not really sure how it all—”

Kaiden cut me off by pressing my back up against the wall and kissing me hard.
Oh god.

So
that
was how he wanted us to make a baby. No turkey basters or cups; purely the old-fashioned way. My mind fogged up even more, and my brain couldn’t have made a decision in that moment if my life depended on it. I was consumed by lust as his lips crashed down on mine; consumed by the desire I’d been bottling up for so long and by the concept of the future that he was laying at my feet.

“Mm...” I murmured into his mouth, losing myself in the moment.

Kaiden took that as confirmation that this was what I wanted, and he ran with it. He started to run his fingers up and down the curves of body, making me lose my mind even more as anticipation prickled my skin and sent heated desire coursing through my veins, and my brain finally decided to switch off completely, allowing my body to become consumed by fiery lust instead.

And it felt amazing.

An involuntary moan escaped my lips as I felt Kaiden’s erection pressing against my leg. God, he was unbelievably sexy, and he was all that I wanted right now. Of course, I’d admitted those things to myself in the past, but this feeling was something else. I didn’t just want him. I
needed
him. I was desperate to feel him inside me, and the wet heat between my legs was literally aching for him, screaming for him to take me over and over again.

I threw my head back, allowing Kaiden’s lips to find my neck, and he peppered my skin with kisses whilst his fingers trailed over my thighs. I allowed him to guide me backwards until I fell back onto the sofa, finally finding something solid to hold on to. I remained sitting as still as a statue, gripping the chair beneath me as I watched him slowly tug his T-shirt over his head and reveal the sculpted abs that came from years of training. I’d seen them before, but never right here in my living room, and somehow, that made him look even better.

“Wow…” I said as my eyes traced ever line and contour of his chest.

He grinned before leaning over and climbing on top of me, and then his lips were on mine again. It still seemed so strange to me—Kaiden Cross, gorgeous bad boy, was kissing
me
.

Again.

I relaxed into him and our mouths parted, his soft tongue grazing mine. He tasted perfect, and I melted into his soft lips, just like I had the first time he kissed me. He reached out and touched my face gently, and voracious hunger welled up inside of me, more and more by the second. I wanted his hard body more than anything in that moment, and any hesitation about his seemingly crazy baby plan was forgotten. It felt
right.

I leaned further in and pressed myself into him. I felt like I was boiling over, every moment of fantasizing about his lips and body suddenly coming to a head. I wanted him more than anything as I felt his hands slowly pushing my top up, but when the cold air hit my skin, everything suddenly changed.

This wasn’t right at all.

“Wait,” I said, sobering up from the haze of passion. “No, stop. Wait a second.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice gruff with desire.

Everything,
I wanted to say.

I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t.

As nice as it might have sounded, his plan wouldn’t work for me. I wanted to have babies out of love, not like this. Kaiden and I were obviously deeply attracted to each other, considering how we were behaving right now, but there was no way he was in love with me, no matter how I felt about him.

“Stop.” I pushed him away and stood up, smoothing my clothes down and trying to put myself back together. “Not like this.”

Kaiden followed my lead and stood up too. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t do this. You’re just reacting to what happened with Serra, thinking this will fix things. You’re mourning for the baby you aren’t having anymore. I can’t have a baby like this. I need it to be out of love.”

“But—”

“I don’t want my baby to be a mistake that we made in the heat of the moment like this. I want a real life partner to raise my future children with, not just a friend, no matter how close that friend is.”

“No, it won’t—”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I couldn’t let him get a word in, because he seemed to have a magical way of convincing me to do exactly what he wanted. After all, he’d almost managed to convince me to have a freaking
baby
with him within the space of ten minutes…

“Riley, don’t walk away from this. Please.”

He jumped up, grabbing my arm, but I shook him off. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t even be around him anymore. He was offering me the world, but I couldn’t take it. It was just too much.

My emotions began to get the better of me, and I just couldn’t keep them in anymore. Tears started to roll down my cheeks, and I could feel them spilling over my lips and chin, leaving a salty taste in my mouth. Panic was knotting in my stomach, my mouth was dry with fear and my heart was hammering so loudly that it was making my head hurt.

“Riley, calm down. It’s me. You’re okay. Everything’s okay,” Kaiden said. “Let’s just take a moment to think about this. We can talk about it, work it out.”

“No, we can’t,” I mumbled in response. I was dizzy now, and Kaiden was making this worse. I absolutely had to get away. “I have to go.”

With that, I raced for the door and pushed my way outside.

I didn’t know where I was going, only that I needed to be anywhere else in the world.

Chapter 14

Kaiden

“Shit.”

I slumped back down onto Riley’s sofa—the place where my dreams had almost come true—and closed my eyes in despair. I was half-naked and completely ruined. What the hell had I done? How had I managed to fuck that up so damn badly?

I wouldn’t have offered to have a baby with her just because I was fucked up over what Serra did. I’d made that decision with the clearest head I’d had in a very long time. Having a child with Riley seemed like the right thing to do—for both of us—but she’d pushed me away and said that she wanted to have a baby out of love, obviously assuming I didn’t love her.

She was wrong about that.

In the moments in which I’d come up with the baby idea, I’d come to a stark realization. I’d been right the other night. I’d loved Riley in a pure, innocent way as a child, and now that I was all grown up, that hadn’t changed. I still loved her. Not in such an innocent way anymore, but still…I fucking
loved
her, and I’d never stopped.

And she had no idea.

Fuck
. I should’ve told her.

Riley had been so wrong about my intentions, but I could understand why she ran out on me, now that I was thinking about it properly. What I’d suggested could have been the start of something amazing, but I’d managed to give her the wrong impression by kissing her the way I had. She’d obviously thought it was nothing more than a passion-filled spur of the moment decision for me that I’d later regret, and while it
had
been a snap decision, it was one I knew I’d never regret. Not with her.

Shit, why did I always seem to screw everything up around her?

I thought about going after her and trying to explain myself further, but the look on her face had suggested that I was the last person in the world that she wanted to be around right now.
I
was the issue, and my presence was only going to make things worse, so I’d have to do the one thing I wasn’t very good at; I’d have to give her space. She needed time to cool off, and I was going to have to put my own shit aside and allow her to have that instead of being a selfish prick.

Even though it probably would’ve been best if I went home, I decided to stay at Riley’s apartment to wait for her return. I might’ve been giving her some leeway, but I wasn’t a saint. I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing she was mad at me, so when she’d finally gotten the ‘alone time’ she needed wherever she’d run off to, I’d be here waiting to talk to her.

Moping in my misery was getting me nowhere, so I switched the TV on. I tried to get lost in the documentary that was playing, but my mind was solely concentrated on Riley, and nothing was going to distract it.

I doubted anything ever would.

***

Knock, knock.

I was shaken out of my reverie by a loud knocking at the front door. My brain instantly jumped to Riley, but of course it wasn’t going to be her. This was her home; she would just walk in if she wanted to get inside.

Knock, knock.

At first I decided to ignore it, feeling that I didn’t have the right to interfere with Riley’s life, but whoever was on the other side of the door just kept on hammering away, refusing to leave. I was going to have to tell them that she wasn’t in, and that this was a bad time.

I headed over to the door, and as it swung open, I found myself face to face with a slim red-haired woman with sparkling green eyes. I flashed a weak smile at her, but I was too upset about Riley to make it genuine. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she said, returning my smile. “Where’s Riley? Opening a bottle of wine, I hope.”

“She’s not in right now. Sorry,” I said. “I can tell her you came by when she gets back, though.”

“Oh. You’re Kaiden Cross, right?” she said, cocking her head to the side.

I nodded.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “And where did you say Riley is? She’s meant to be here.”

Before I could say anything else, she’d strolled inside.

“Riley isn’t here,” I said, but she sat down regardless. It was becoming increasingly obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her anytime soon, whoever she was.

“Where is she?” she asked. She stared up at me, throwing her feet up on the coffee table. She was obviously comfortable here, as if she spent a lot of time in Riley’s home, but I still had no clue who she was.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. She sorta ran off. We had...err…a fight, I suppose.”

With those words, she sat up straight. “Like a lovers spat?” she asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. “What’s going on with you two?”

“Who are you?” I finally asked, unable to leave it any longer.

“I’m Alexa. I’m Riley’s best friend. I’ve been away, so I haven’t been able to see her for a while. Hence why I don’t know too much about you.”

She allowed that to linger in the air for a moment.

“We were supposed to catch up tonight. Didn’t she mention it?” she finally said.

“No, sorry.”

Alexa looked confused at that, thrown by Riley completely forgetting her. Obviously this was very out of the ordinary for Riley, but then again, she’d been through a very unique experience today.

“She’s had a bit of a crazy day. Crazy week, actually,” I said by way of explanation. I had no idea what I should and shouldn’t tell this girl. She could’ve been lying about who she was, and there was no way I could know for sure without asking more.

“Anything to do with Meadowlands?” Alexa asked.

Meadowlands, huh? Maybe Riley had confided in her more than I’d thought. “Yeah, sort of,” I said.

“Okay. Well, you’re gonna have to tell me everything, since Riley isn’t here to do so.”

“Everything?” I said, running my hands through my hair and scratching my head. I was still uneasy about telling this girl Riley’s private business.

“I can’t help her if you don’t,” she said with a shrug, knowing I couldn’t disagree with that.

“Okay.” I sat down beside her, finally giving in. She was right, after all. “I knew Riley when we were kids, but we hadn’t seen each other for years until the other week. She was hired to be my new PR rep.”

“Uh-huh. I knew that much already. But why did you need a new PR rep again?” she asked.

“Mostly because of this whole mess with Serra Silver. She was going around saying that she was having my baby.”

“You have a baby on the way? God, I’ve missed so much! But wait…with Serra Silver?”

Alexa was struggling to fit the pieces together; I could see it in her eyes. If she’d just let me finish…

“Well, Riley was suspicious, and she eventually discovered that it was all a lie. So we confronted Serra today, and she was so drunk that she actually admitted it in front of the entire film crew for Meadowlands.”

Alexa was speechless, and I was sure everyone else would be the same when the video of today’s confrontation came out on the gossip blogs. The true Serra was vastly different to her public image, and now the world would finally know the real her, all because she’d gotten high and drunk and been unable to rein herself in for once.

“So, er…” I began, trying to think of what to say next. I was really starting to lose myself. So much had gone on, and it was difficult to remember it all. “While that was going on with me, Riley had some medical tests done.”

I paused, letting that sink in. This would determine how much this girl actually knew about Riley, because I knew she was a very private person, so only those closest to her would know the truth about her problems.

“You mean the cancer gene? I know she was worried about that.”

My shoulders slumped with relief. Okay, that confirmed it. Alexa really was Riley’s best friend. 

“Yeah. I really shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, but it’s related to why she ran off earlier. It turns out she does have the gene mutation, and the doctor basically told her that if she wants a child, she needs to have one now, before having an operation to remove her ovaries and uterus.”

“Oh my god…poor Riley!”

The next thing I had to tell her was already starting to sound stupid in my mind, and I was dreading saying it out loud. “So anyway, I offered to have a baby with her, and she freaked out. That’s why she left tonight.”

I could feel my cheeks heating up with every single word, and Alexa arched an eyebrow.

“Wow,” she said, leaning back and allowing the information to digest. “So that happened tonight?”

I nodded, waiting for the barrage of hate that I deserved to come my way.

Instead, Alexa snorted as if she found it amusing. “You asked her to have a kid with you? Jeez, no wonder she freaked. I mean, at least buy a girl dinner and flowers first.”

“I know it sounds really fucking crazy, but I just wanted to help. I wanted to be the one to give her what she needs.”

“But it isn’t just that, is it?” Alexa asked, eyes narrowing slightly with suspicion. “There’s more.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Her gaze was making me feel vulnerable, like all my secrets were out on the coffee table for her to dissect.

“You really care about her,” she said. This wasn’t a question, just a clear-cut statement. “You love her, don’t you? I can tell.”

Jesus. Was I that transparent? I’d been thinking it earlier, but hearing someone actually say the words out loud made it all too real, and heady emotion slammed through me. Shit, I needed to see Riley right now; tell her everything I felt for her.

“Wait there,” Alexa said before I could even respond. She dug around in her handbag and pulled out her phone. “I’m calling her,” she mouthed at me, and I nodded.

A moment later, she sighed. “She’s not picking up,” she said, sounding concerned now. “Maybe you should go after her. It’s getting late, and even though this is a pretty decent area, you never know what could happen out there.”

I nodded again, knowing that she was right. “All right. Will do.”

“I’m gonna go home and let you two sort things out. Can you please tell Riley to message me and let me know that she’s okay when you find her?”

“Sure,” I replied. “And thanks for the chat.”

“No worries, Kaiden,” she said, eyes twinkling. “Go get our girl.”

I grinned. Oh, I was gonna go and get her, all right.