Bad Boy Brit (A British Bad Boy Romance) (40 page)

Chapter 21

Kaiden

“Positive? Are you sure?”

“Yep, I’m sure,” Riley replied, her eyes wide.

I stared at Riley, my insides dancing with joy. This was real. It wasn’t a bullshit fake-baby situation like I’d dealt with courtesy of Serra…Riley was actually pregnant.

I was going to be a father, for real this time.

“Oh my god…we’re actually having a baby!” I said, lifting her above my head. I was beyond overjoyed. All the pain I’d felt from the weeks I’d been forced to spend without the woman I loved vanished into thin air, as if they were nothing.

I slid her down my body until we were face-to-face, and then I kissed her with all the passion that I’d locked away since she left. I knew we weren’t supposed to do this—to be together—but it didn’t matter behind closed doors. I’d just heard the best news of my whole damn life, and no one was going to ruin that for me.

I finally lowered her all the way back down to the floor, and as I pulled back and looked down at her, I expected to see my ecstatic expression mirrored in her features. To my complete surprise, she was crying. Not happy tears, either.

Shit. I’d thought this was what she wanted.

“Riley…what’s wrong?” I asked.

She cast her eyes to the floor for a moment, and when she finally looked back up at me, there was something else in her eyes aside from the brimming tears.

Fear.

“I found a lump two days ago, Kaiden,” she said. Fear spiked in my heart at the words, and I swallowed hard. “I’m afraid it’s cancerous, just like my Mum’s was. My aunt too. I’m so excited to be pregnant, but…but…”

Fuck. I’d heard about cases like this. Pregnant women with cancer basically had two options—terminate the pregnancy and get cancer treatment, or keep the baby and get no treatment, allowing the cancer to spread. Neither option was good.

I was speechless. There was really nothing I could say anyway, so I pulled Riley to my chest and hugged her tightly. This was the worst news ever. How could we have gone from such a high to a low like this in such a short space of time? It didn’t seem fair. For one second, I’d had it all, and in the next, I’d discovered that I could lose both Riley and my child.

“Have you been to the doctor?” I finally asked, wanting some kind of knowledge on where we actually were with this. “Have you had tests?”

“Not yet,” she admitted, tears still streaming down her face. “I’ve been too scared to make the appointment; couldn’t even dial the number. I didn’t know about the baby then. I would
never
have risked our child, if I’d known.”

“Shhh…” I tried to calm her hysteria, knowing I’d unwittingly put unnecessary pressure on her then. “We’ll go tomorrow. We can’t do anything until then. I’ll make the appointment, I’ll come with you, and we’ll get through this together. I’ll be by your side every step of the way. You never have to worry about that, Riley. I’m here.”

My final words must have had an effect on her, because she slumped against me, allowing all of the tension to flow from her body. I was glad that I could at least do something to help her, even if it wasn’t much. If all I could do was make her feel more relaxed by just being here for her, then that’s what I would do.

Whatever happened, whatever she had to go through, I would be there. I loved her, no matter what. She never had to be alone again.

I’d do anything for her.

Chapter 22

Kaiden

I took Riley to the Grove Medical Center the next morning. Usually, they were hard to get an appointment with on such short notice, but I’d done a bit of name-dropping, and when the young-sounding female receptionist had heard her favorite MMA fighter was requesting an appointment, she’d practically salivated down the phone. That’s what it sounded like, anyway.

I knew I wasn’t supposed to be seen with Riley in public for the sake of her job, so I wore dark sunglasses and a hoodie to disguise myself somewhat as we headed into the clinic. Luckily, no one even looked twice at me and my strange-looking get up. Even the receptionist didn’t simper or bat her eyelashes when I walked in, let alone let on if she recognized me or not.

As Riley and I stepped into her doctor’s office ten minutes later, I bit the inside of my cheek out of pure anxiety, wishing and hoping that everything would be okay. I was struggling to feel anything good about this day, and judging by Riley’s silence and hunched over body language, so was she.

I couldn’t blame her. Not one bit.

I listened quietly as Riley gave her doctor the rundown of where she was, and then I anxiously waited for her reply. I could barely sit still with all the tension flowing through me, so I forced myself to count my breaths, just to give me something to focus on.

“Okay, Riley,” Dr. Zhang said. “I’m going to run a biopsy and a scan for you today. Because you’re pregnant we need to get these tests done as soon as possible, and I’ll also need to get the results back within forty-eight hours, so we can decide on our next move.”

She flicked her eyes between us both, her expression serious but kind. “Now, if these results come back positive for cancer, you’re going to have some tough choices to make. You will either need to undergo treatment right away—which will harm your unborn child, so we will have to recommend a termination procedure—or, you can wait until the baby is born before you begin treatment, but you will put yourself at great risk if you do that. I have to tell you that the mortality rate for people choosing that second option is very high.”

Just as I’d thought.

I watched Riley nod as if the doctor had just told her the weather report, but inside I knew she was in turmoil, and I could see her doing all she could to hold it together. Given half a chance, I was certain she would crumble right then and there.

Even though my heart was tearing apart at the prospect of losing someone I loved, I knew I needed to stay strong for Riley. She was the most important person in this moment, and I would deal with my own feelings later.

“Okay, if you want to go and sit in the waiting room again, I’ll call you when we’re ready for you to do those tests,” Dr. Zhang said.

I grabbed Riley’s arm and helped her stand upright. I was certain that she was dizzy and confused, and I wasn’t going to allow that to overcome her. I walked alongside her and held the door to the waiting room open for her, and just as she was about to take a seat, I could see her eyes brimming with tears, so I quickly took her hand again and led her outside. Fresh air and privacy would be better for her than sitting amongst a bunch of strangers with their own problems.

After I watched her suck in a few deep breaths, I pulled her close to my body once more, planted a kiss on her hair, and then rested my forehead against hers so we were staring into each other’s eyes. There was so much going on behind her gaze, and I wanted to make at least some of it better.

“I love you, Riley,” I said, trying to sound strong and confident, even though I had no idea what the future would bring. “And I’ll be here for you every step of the way. Whatever happens, whatever you decide, I’ll be there.”

She almost began choking on the sobs that were racking her body, and there was nothing I could do to take the pain away. Her life and dreams were on the line here; nothing I said could possibly make that better, as much as I tried.

“I can’t get an abortion, Kaiden,” she said, vehemently shaking her head. “I know I only just found out about this baby, but I already love her
.
”

“Her?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, I just feel like it’s a girl, and I can’t lose her. Not now. There’s a small chance I’ll be fine for long enough to have the baby, and then I can get the treatment. I’m keeping the baby.”

I looked into her eyes again. “Maybe we should wait till you have the results back first before you make any major decisions,” I said gently.

This was hard. So fucking hard. I couldn’t tell her what to do with her life—or our baby’s life—but at the same time, I couldn’t face the thought of what would happen if she did go through with the decision she’d just brought up. It wasn’t so much the prospect of raising my child alone that terrified me; it was the idea of losing Riley when I’d only just gotten her back. I didn’t know how to cope with that.

I didn’t know if I
could
cope with that.

“Okay. You’re right. But I really think that’s what I’ll do,” she said. Her tone sounded hollow yet final.

I pulled her close and rested her head against my chest. “Okay. Whatever you want, baby,” I said quietly. “Come on, let’s go and wait for them to call your name, so you can get those tests done.”

***

We were both awoken two mornings later by Riley’s shrill cellphone ringtone. I’d insisted on staying the night at her place for the last two days, just so I could be beside her. I needed her in these days just as much as she needed me, and if I was going to lose her, I wasn’t going to risk not seeing her, not for anybody. Especially not for the sake of her job.

“Who’s calling so early?” she muttered, sitting up and rubbing her bleary eyes before reaching over to grab her phone from the bedside table.

I was still half asleep, and I figured it was a work call for her, so I closed my eyes and tried not to listen in too much. Riley began pinching me a moment later, and I sat up to hear her ending the call.

“Okay, thank you very much for letting me know, Dr. Zhang,” she said.

Shit. I was wide awake now. It was her test results.

Riley hung up and put her phone down on the bed, and then she continued to stare at it for a few seconds in disbelief. My heart was thumping, and worry was coiling up in my insides, strangling the life out of me.

“Kaiden?” she said quietly. She kept her head downwards, her eyes fixed on the duvet. “The tests were all clear.”

“What? Really?”

She looked up at me, and the biggest, brightest smile spread across her beautiful face. “The cyst was benign. It’s totally harmless.”

“So…you’re definitely okay?” I asked cautiously, wanting to be certain before I rejoiced.

She nodded. “Yes. The baby and I are both going to be just fine.”

“Oh my god!”

I jumped up, pulling her up with me, and we both bounced around on the bed like idiots for a few moments, laughing and crying with happiness. My dream-turned-nightmare had gone all the way back to being a dream again, and I couldn’t believe it.

I had to be the luckiest son of a bitch alive.

As I watched Riley acting goofy and carefree as she bounced on the bed, I realized that I’d spent far too much of my life shutting off my emotions. Not just to her, but to everyone. I’d always been capable of feeling this deeply, but I’d never allowed it to happen.

Well, not anymore.

That would all change now, especially now that I had the baby coming. I was going to be the father that he or she truly deserved, and I’d wear my heart on my sleeve from now on, because no one could grow and thrive under the care of an emotionally-stunted parent—I’d learned that the hard way.

I didn’t have to worry too much, though; I knew I’d never be like my father. I had Riley to help me grow and heal, just as she’d always done.

Just like she always would.

Chapter 23

Riley

As the weeks flew by, it became increasingly difficult to hide my growing bump. I wasn’t even past the first trimester of my pregnancy, but already my loosest tops weren’t disguising much. I seemed to have the biggest baby in the history of the universe growing in my belly. I wasn’t worried, though, I was just glad that Kaiden and I were finally having a bit of luck.

After the initial cancer scare, things had been running smoothly. I wasn’t even having much morning sickness, for which I was grateful—it meant I could still go to work, relatively suspicion-free. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone yet, not even Eric since I knew he’d be curious of the father’s identity, and luckily no one had been brave enough to ask me why my stomach looked so bloated these days. I knew I’d have to tell everyone eventually, though, so I was just waiting for the right moment. Or at least, that was the excuse I was giving myself to cover up my cowardice. I was terrified of how my boss was going to react, and I wasn’t sure if I could directly lie to him about Kaiden.

Speaking of Eric, he was headed towards my desk right now.

“Riley?” he said as he approached.

“Hey, Eric. Can I help you?” I said, hiding my bump with a large file.

Our relationship was fairly strained now. We were still professional around each other, but the friendly edge we’d once had was definitely gone. I didn’t think it would ever return, and I was sad about that. However, it was just going to have to be one of the sacrifices I made for Kaiden—and he was sure as hell worth it.

“Frank’s sick,” he announced, as if this should mean something to me. I didn’t know much about Frank, except that he’d started as an intern a couple of years back and was now doing a very good job in my place as Kaiden’s PR representative.

“Oh? That’s a shame. I hope he feels better soon,” I replied. I had no idea where this conversation was going, and it was making me nervous.

“Yes, I hope so too. Anyway, he was supposed to be joining me at Kaiden Cross’ fight tonight, to help with the interviews afterwards—because he still has to fight off questions about Serra Silver, as you can imagine—but now he can’t accompany me.”

Eric sounded strained and more than a little annoyed. I couldn’t work out what he was doing here—was this some kind of test? Had he somehow found out that I was still seeing Kaiden?

“Okay,” I said, waiting for him to go on. The anxious edge was evident in my voice; I was just waiting for some horrendous bombshell to be dropped.

“I need you to come with me.”

Wait, what?
That was certainly a bombshell, but not what I’d been expecting.

“But I thought…” I quickly stopped myself in my tracks. I didn’t want to say I thought I wasn’t allowed to be near Kaiden, because I was breaking that rule every damn day.

“There’s no one else. Everyone is busy with other clients, and that country singer of yours barely even needs work. She’s practically an angel. So I figured you would be free tonight.”

“Oh, I see. And you can’t go alone?” I asked.

I knew I was being rude, but I couldn’t stand the thought of a whole night with Eric. I also wasn’t keen on watching Kaiden fight again, to be honest, because I hated seeing him get hurt. I’d experienced more than enough of that for one lifetime.

“I have to discuss some contractual issues with his manager after the fight—this was the only night he could see me—so no, I can’t do it alone.”

“Oh, of course. I’ll be there,” I replied, resigning myself to an awkward night. Much as I didn’t want to, it looked like I had no choice.

And that was that. Eric nodded curtly, and I was stuck with him for the night.

***

Yet again, I found myself sitting uncomfortably in the front row at one of Kaiden’s fights. The last time I’d been here had been the start of it all, but this time, I had to pretend that none of it had ever happened. I was even wearing an oversized sweater, despite the fact that it was absolutely boiling, to try and hide the evidence that Kaiden had ever been anywhere near me. It was silly, really.

The awkwardness from sitting with Eric was almost unbearable. The people around us were enjoying themselves, but we sat in silence, surrounded by tension. The sooner this fight was over, the better.

Earlier in the afternoon, I’d tried to contact Kaiden to let him know that I’d be attending his fight with Eric in place of Frank, but according to the read receipts on my phone, he hadn’t seen the messages yet. I knew this was common on the run up to an event like this one. After all, he had to train, and he had to have endless meetings with his trainer and manager, so I didn’t blame him for not answering his texts occasionally.

Music began to blare, and the crowd went wild. Despite the awful situation I was in, I actually started to feel a little excited. Everyone seemed to love Kaiden, which made me swell with pride. There were banners just for him and people chanting his name, and if anyone deserved this kind of adoration, it was him, especially after his shitty childhood. For the very first time, I started to understand why he loved what he did, even though once upon a time, all I’d seen in it was pointless danger.

I watched carefully as the other guy made his overly-dramatic entrance into the octagonal fighting cage in the middle of the room. He honestly looked like The Hulk; at least six foot six with a body that seemed to be a wall of rock-hard muscle. His grim expression made me shiver, and there was a smirk on his trainer’s face as he spoke to him. The trainer obviously assumed his fighter had the upper hand over Kaiden on size alone, but I wasn’t entirely about that. At six foot one, Kaiden did seem to be one of the shortest fighters in his weight category, but that hadn’t affected his performance last time I saw him fight. He’d taken the gigantic Mac Brydie down with barely any trouble at all.

That didn’t stop me from being afraid this time, though.

My heart was already thumping by the time I got a glimpse of the man that I loved so dearly, and as he strode into the cage, I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. He looked so strong and powerful up there, which was a massive turn-on for me, even if I did find it a little scary. To be fair, though, with all the pregnancy hormones rushing through my system right now, I would probably be turned on by anything at all. Seriously, Kaiden could slather himself in mud and slide along the floor like a slug, and I’d probably still want to jump his bones.

As he waved and strutted around the cage, I had to stop myself from screaming along with all the others in the crowd, because I didn’t want Eric to catch on, so I clapped politely instead. He was our client, after all. I could at least do that and not blow my cover.

I watched him walk around the cage with the same cocky arrogance that he’d displayed all those weeks ago when I’d seen him again for the first time in years, and I felt the same butterflies and the same excitement I had that night, only this time it was coupled with a satisfaction that he was actually mine.

As he looked out into the crowd, his eyes somehow managed to meet mine as if we were joined by some magnetic link, and he grinned and called out to me. I tried to silently communicate with him that Eric was with me, but he didn’t notice and began to wave frantically at me until I had to lift my hand as a reply. It was too awkward to not do so.

I refused to catch Eric’s eyes, but I was sure that he was glaring at me all the same. Kaiden obviously thought I was there to support him of my own accord, so he didn’t know that he couldn’t wave and smile at me like we were best friends…or more.

Suddenly it all got a hundred times worse. Kaiden kept looking at me, and then he blew a kiss in my direction. I stiffened as Eric turned to me.

“Riley,” he said, his voice tense. “What’s going on? You aren’t still seeing Mr. Cross, are you?”

“Eric, I—”

He cut me off with a wave of his hand and stood up. “Let’s go out into the lobby. We need to discuss this, and I need the truth from you.”

I trailed behind him like a naughty schoolgirl on the way to detention. How was I going to play this? Denial? Friendship? Or was it finally time to be honest? Could I really go on living a lie, knowing it would all come out eventually anyway?

Eric and I stood facing each other in the lobby five minutes later, anger etched on his face and shame on mine. I was such an idiot. I shouldn’t have let it get this far, and I should have admitted everything a long time ago. Even if I’d lost my job, I would have avoided this.

We couldn’t see the fight starting from the lobby, but we could hear yells from the commentator.
‘…oh, and Kaiden’s taken a serious hit already! What an unfortunate start for our champ!’

“Okay, Riley, I’m going to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me,” Eric said.

I nodded. I had no other option now but to tell the truth. I loved Kaiden, and there was no point in hiding that from the world for even another second.

Before Eric could ask his question, we heard the commentator again
.

‘…ooh, that had to hurt! Blade is really slamming Kaiden tonight!’

Kaiden didn’t seem to be doing too well back in there, and I said a silent prayer for him as Eric coughed before finally speaking up again.

“Are you still dating Kaiden Cross?” he asked. He sounded resigned now, as if this was the last thing in the world that he wanted to be doing.

“Yes, I am,” I replied. I stared at my feet as I spoke, ashamed of my behavior. I should have been brave and left the company before starting things with Kaiden, and I shouldn’t have done this to Eric—he’d put his firm’s reputation on the line to let me keep my job, and I’d basically thrown it back in his face.

He coughed again and shifted uncomfortably where he stood. “There’s a rumor going around the office that you’re pregnant.”

Great. I obviously wasn’t as good at hiding things as I’d thought I was.

“That’s true,” I said, my eyes still on my feet.

“Is the baby his?”

I couldn’t help but smile at this. I couldn’t regret anything with our little baby growing inside me. However much trouble I was about to get in, it would be worth it for her….or him. Kaiden seemed to think it was a boy, while I was still convinced we were having a girl.

“Yes.”

“Okay, then there’s no plausible deniability,” he said. “Sorry, Riley, but I’m going to have to let you go.”

His words sank in as the commentator’s voice rang out again.

‘…and Kaiden is down again! Have you ever seen him get beaten so badly? He’s been doing so well this year, but now he…’

My mind was already back in the room near the octagon cage, wanting to know what was wrong with Kaiden. Whatever was going on, it really didn’t sound good.

I finally snapped back to where I was. “Isn’t there anything I can do?” I asked.

“…is he going to get back up? Oh no, Blade has jumped back on top of him. Surely he’ll get disqualified for that? Kaiden almost looks unconscious…”

Unconscious? Holy mother of god, what the hell was going in on there? I was itching to get away, and my heart was thumping so hard that I felt physically sick with worry.

“We’re out of options, Riley. I really don’t want to lose a great rep like you, but I can’t risk the whole firm’s reputation for you. Not anymore.”

I sighed. He was totally right. I’d known this was coming, and I deserved it.

“Okay. I understand. I really do. I’m sorry for putting you in such a bad position,” I said. “I’m also sorry to rush off after a conversation like this, but I need to go back in there now.”

“No,” Eric said, grabbing my arm. “You can’t. Those are company seats, and you aren’t with the company anymore.”

“But Kaiden’s hurt. Didn’t you hear all of that?”

“He’ll be fine, Riley, that’s a risk of the job. Go home and get some rest. I’ll get someone to sort out the things from your desk and courier them to you tomorrow,” he replied.

Then he swept away, and I was left all alone, confused and worried about Kaiden. I needed to get back in come hell or high water, so I rushed over to the ticket girl to plead my case.

She wasn’t having any of it.

“Someone claims to be a family member or a girlfriend of a fighter every single day,” she drawled, popping gum in my face. “No ticket, no entrance. And we’re all sold out for tonight.”

Eric had my ticket. Dammit.

The main room had gone suspiciously silent, and the panic of not knowing what was going on was sending me wild. Why the hell would no one help me? Why wouldn’t anyone tell me what the hell was going on? I couldn’t stand not knowing how Kaiden was.

My lungs became constricted with the fear that I was going to lose Kaiden somehow, and it all became too much. Tears started to pour down my cheeks until I could no longer see, and I knew I needed to get outside for some air.

As I stepped out of the converted warehouse, I saw that there was an outside all-access balcony area up some stairs on the left, and I headed up towards it, figuring that a nice view of the city and some fresh air might calm me down a little. Luckily, no one else was up there so I could take the time I needed to breathe, and I stepped over to the railing and gripped it, needing to hold something solid in my hands, seeing as everything else seemed to be slipping from my grip like butter these days.