Bad Boy Daddy (10 page)

Chapter 19

Faith

I
WAITED THAT WHOLE NIGHT,
sitting by the huge window overlooking the valley, the roaring fire offering me the only comfort I could get. When the sun rose I got up and made coffee.

Lacey was the first to wake and I pounced on her with questions.

“Is there any word?”

She shook her head. “I have no way of contacting Grady. We’ll have to wait for him to get back.”

My hand was trembling as I stirred milk into my coffee.

“Faith, you should rest.”

“I can’t rest. I need to know he’s coming back.”

I could feel the tears rising to my eyes. I tried to hold them back but it was no good.

Lacey put her hand on my shoulder.

“It all happened so fast,” I said.

“Tell me about it,” she said, doing her best to take my mind from Jackson’s present situation.

“Well,” I said, “it was just two days ago. I’d finally had all I could take from Wolf.”

“I can imagine.”

“He was going to lock me in a compound.”

Lacey nodded. She’d heard the same stories about Los Lobos I had.

“So you ran.”

“I ran.”

“I’d have done the same thing,” Lacey said. “If I had the courage.”

“I didn’t know where I was going. I hitched a ride and ended up at a motel along the highway.”

“And that’s where you met Jackson?”

“Yes, well, actually, we’d met before at the Los Lobos bar in Reno.”

“Oh, of course. I heard about that.”

“Really?”

“Jackson said he met a real bitch there.”

I smiled. “Yes, that would have been me.”

“He also said you were the most intoxicating thing he’d ever set eyes on.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“He said that about me?”

“We don’t keep many secrets from each other in this house, Faith. Jackson was always a player so we didn’t think much of it at first. But days and weeks passed and he was still talking about you. It was unheard of for him.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“It’s pretty miraculous that you ran into him in your hour of need. He’s one of the few men alive who’d face up to Wolf Staten and Los Lobos.”

“A strange coincidence,” I said.

“You could call it a coincidence, or you could call it fate.”

I nodded. “The more I think about it, the stranger it is,” I said.

“Very strange,” Lacey said. “It was the night his father died.”

“The only thing on his mind was having a son to carry on his father’s name.”

“And then he ran into you, asking for his help. He didn’t stand a chance.”

I looked into her eyes. It was too much. It was all true. Tears fell from my eyes.

“The moment he saw me, he was done for,” I said.

“Oh, Faith,” Lacey said, putting her arms around me. “That’s not the way it is. Whatever Jackson got into with you, he went into with his eyes open. I’ve never met a smarter man. If he offered you his help, you can be certain he knew what he was going to get in return, and it was worth it to him. If he asked you to have his baby, that was the most important thing in the world to him at that moment, and he was more than willing to risk his life for it.”

“I just don’t understand it,” I said. “There are so many other women who could have had his baby. He didn’t need to throw his life away to have it with me.”

Lacey shook her head. “The heart wants what the heart wants,” she said.

“I just hope he comes back to me.”

“I know, Faith. I know.”

I went quiet. I stared out the window at the glowing sky. It truly was a beautiful sight, the ocean in the distance reflecting the light like a mirror.

“You’ll make a nice life here, Faith.”

I started to cry. I wanted it so badly I could hardly bear it. I wanted to create a life in that place, in that beautiful valley, with Jackson.”

“Come on,” Lacey said. “Come to my room. I’ll wake you as soon as there’s news.”

Reluctantly I followed her to her bedroom and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep sleep.

I dreamed I was on a pier, looking out at sea, and Jackson was on a boat sailing away from me. I wanted to dive into the water and swim after him, even if it meant drowning, but something stopped me. I knew what it was. It was the baby in my womb.

I woke with a start. Lacey was there.

“Is he back?”

One look into her eyes and I knew the answer. She shook her head. “Faith, I’m so sorry.”

“No,” I cried.

“Grady did everything he could but he got there too late. Jackson had already attacked Staten’s mountaintop villa.”

“Alone?”

“Alone.”

“No,” I said again, refusing to believe my ears.

“Grady heard gunfire, and he waited for Jackson to come back out of the compound.”

“But he didn’t come out, did he?”

Lacey shook her head.

I pulled the blanket over my head. I couldn’t bear for her to see my face. Tears were streaming over my cheeks and I felt lost—utterly lost.

I’d only known Jackson for a few short days, but in that time he’d burned himself into my soul. I’d never get over him. I’d never be able to look at another man. My life was as good as over. If Jackson wasn’t coming back, I might as well be dead.

There was only one thing that gave me a reason to live. I was pregnant.

Chapter 20

Faith

T
IME PASSED SLOWLY WITHOUT JACKSON.
It was like everything was underwater. Color faded. Sound was muted. Light was dimmed. The minutes spread into hours but I hardly noticed.

The sound of a bike engine brought me out of Lacey’s room, but I couldn’t see through my tears. I couldn’t hear the words anyone said to me.

Grady spoke of trying to get to Jackson before he went into Wolf’s compound. He said he got there too late, Jackson had already gone in, he couldn’t stop him. All I could do was nod my head.

In the coming days, Lacey and the brothers were kind to me. Lacey was the only female in the house and she set me up in a guest room, brought me my meals, and told me everything was going to be all right. I don’t know if I’d have survived those days without her. She was my anchor.

Even my own mother never showed me that much kindness.

On my third day in the house, I went out to the living room and sat by the window. It was the first time I’d left my room since Lacey had brought me to it.

She came in with Grant and they were obviously worried about me.

“We’ve got some news,” Grant said.

My heart skipped a beat.

“Jackson?” I said.

“It’s not Jackson. There’s no word of Jackson. It’s about Los Lobos.”

I thought I would throw up. The very mention of the name made my blood boil.

“What is it?” I said.

“Two Lobos are dead,” Grant said. “They announced the funerals this morning. It’s in all the Nevada newspapers.

“Is Wolf dead?”

“Yes,” Lacey said. “Wolf and one of the others.”

“Does that mean?” I didn’t dare finish the sentence.

“It means Jackson killed them,” Grant said.

“Could Jackson be alive?”

Grant shook his head.

Lacey came over to me. “If Jackson escaped, we’d have heard from him by now.”

“Maybe Los Lobos have him?”

“If they caught him, they’d have killed him, Faith.”

I nodded. I knew that was true. Lacey sat down with me and Grant got us coffee.

“How will I go on?” I said, more to myself than to them.

Lacey answered. “You’ll figure out a way, Faith. At least you have us.”

“How long can I impose on your hospitality?”

“Don’t speak like that,” Grant said, pouring the coffee and sitting to join us. “Jackson said to bring you here. You have a place with us for as long as you need it.”

“I can’t just hide away in your guest room and let depression overtake me,” I said.

“No,” Lacey said. “But you can let us help you start a new life. You’ve been through so much. Your ordeal with Wolf. Falling for Jackson and then losing him so soon after. It will take time, but life will go on.”

“I won’t be safe here. No one will be safe here now. This will start a war. If they caught Jackson, they’ll know the Brotherhood was involved.”

“They don’t know about the Brotherhood,” Grant said. “No one does.”

“So they won’t come here?”

“They have no reason to. As far as they know, Jackson was a lone gun who bought information from them.”

“Even with Wolf dead, the other Lobos will always want me dead,” I said.

“They’d kill you if they came across you, out of loyalty to Wolf,” Grant said. “But they won’t hunt you the way Wolf would have.”

“That’s true.”

“And besides, we’ll protect you,” Grant said. “We’ll always protect you, and your baby. All of us will.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You don’t have to,” Lacey said. “We’ve already discussed it. Los Lobos have lost two of the twelve. They don’t know about us. None of the remaining Lobos will be overly concerned with your whereabouts. With Wolf dead, Jackson made it safe enough for you to start a new life. With the Brotherhood at your side, you’ll be able to make a go of it here, in the Socorro Valley, with us.”

“How can I stay here without Jackson?” I said. “It’s my fault you lost him.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Faith,” Lacey said. “You’re part of the Brotherhood now. You’re Jackson’s girl. He chose you for a reason, and even in death, we look after our own.”

I knew what she was saying made sense. Jackson had made sure to burn himself into my very soul. It wasn’t just some fling, we’d had. It wasn’t just an affair. It was something deep. It went right to the core of my body. My heart belonged to Jackson and it always would. My soul belonged to him. He’d dominated me in every way a man could dominate a woman. He’d put his seed in the deepest parts of my body. If I was ever going to escape his grasp, I couldn’t see how. I couldn’t see myself ever being with another man. I was tied to the Brotherhood now, and I always would be.

I vowed then to do my best. Life would go on, and I would make the best of it. Jackson had given his life to protect me, and now that I had the Brotherhood at my side. I could at least try to make a new life for myself. I couldn’t allow the sacrifice Jackson had made to go to waste. I owed it to him to make something of my life.

And I would start immediately.

“Lacey,” I said.

“Yes?”

“Will you do something for me?”

“Of course, Faith. I’ll do anything.”

“Will you take me to a drug store?”

“Yes, I will,” she said, smiling at me kindly.

I was quiet in the car. It was my first time leaving the house since I’d arrived, and I felt like an inmate who’d just been released from prison.

Everything around us was beautiful in the morning sunlight. The town was so pretty. They called it the Hills because it was perched high above the valley. It was the ideal place to start a new life. It was the kind of place I’d always pictured myself living. It was the kind of place where I could raise my child.

We got to the drug store and there was only one thing I needed—a pregnancy test.

“Do you think it’s too early for me to take it?” I said to Lacey when we were back in the car.

“Probably,” she said. “What does the package say?”

I couldn’t read the fine print on the side of the package. I was crying again.

Chapter 21

Faith

I’
D NEVER HAVE THOUGHT I’D
be the one to say this, but no matter what happens to you, one thing is always certain.

Life goes on
.

Especially when you’re singlehandedly raising a little boy.

With the help of Lacey and the Brothers, I got set up in a nice house up in the Hills, overlooking the valley. It was the kind of place I’d dreamed of as a little girl. It was a beautiful stone house on one of the older streets in Rio Secco’s expensive downtown. It had originally been built by a Spanish ship captain for his wife, and the colonial influence gave it such charm.

I felt it was an appropriate house for me because of what had happened to the Spanish sailor. After building the house, he’d brought his wife to California from the colonial capital in Mexico. From what I could find out at the records office, they’d had a happy life there together. At least for a time. They planted the trees that now shaded the mosaic swimming pool. They brought the red, clay tiles up from the coast that were now scattered in the driveway. And they’d had a son. A year after their son’s birth, the sailor was lost at sea and the wife raised the baby alone in the house.

Despite the tragedy, I took it as a good omen for what I was doing.

The years passed faster than I’d ever imagined possible. Before I knew it, I was in the hospital, giving birth. The pregnancy went smoothly. Lacey stayed with me during the labor. Grant, Forrester and Grady crowded into the delivery room as soon as the baby was born.

They were his uncles. All three were named godfathers. Lacey was my emergency contact. We lied and said she was my sister so she could stay with me throughout the procedure. At the christening, Grady told me to call the baby Sam, after Jackson’s father, and I did.

At first, when I’d finally come to terms with Jackson’s death, when I’d at last realized he was never coming back, I was grief-stricken. However, two months after Wolf’s death, a third Lobo was found dead in his bed. His throat was slit in the night and none of the guards heard a thing. That gave me my first glimpse of hope.

Maybe Jackson wasn’t dead
.

Maybe he was finishing the job he’d started, and would come back to me when he was done.

On the day of Sam’s birth, I received a letter. It was only a few words.

*

I’
M KEEPING MY PROMISE TO YOU.
When I’m done, I’ll come back to you.

*

I
KEPT IT TO MYSELF,
but a few months later another Lobo turned up dead and I knew Jackson was keeping his promise. It was going to take him longer than he’d thought, but he was alive, and that’s all that mattered.

But the passing time was so difficult.