Bad Boy Daddy (20 page)

I shook my head. I usually knew what I was doing. Jackson Jones was a distinct exception. I didn’t know what had come over me. Every time I was with him my body seemed to beg for his semen. It was crazy.

“When are you going to see him again?” Lacey said.

I felt butterflies in my stomach when she said that. I wanted to see him again so badly. Of course I did. My body did. My vagina especially wanted to see Jackson Jones again. My vagina wanted to move in with Jackson Jones. It wanted to give itself to him, be his slave. My vagina wanted to tattoo Jackson Jones’s name on itself so that the whole world knew who owned it. But I was more than a vagina. I was a full person, a mother, with responsibilities. I had to be reasonable.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“What did he say?”

“We didn’t make a plan, but I know he intended to see me again soon.”

“Did he take your number?

“No. I wanted to give it to him but it didn’t come up. I don’t know if he has a cell phone. He’s so old school.”

“Well, I dare say he’ll figure out how to get a hold of you when he needs to.”

“Lacey,” I said. “I was embarrassed. I let him go down on me. He sucked my clit, licked my asshole, fucked me without a condom.”

“He did all that?”

“God, yes.”

“Where?”

“In the back of his truck.”

Lacey laughed. “I get it. So when it was all over, you were feeling a little sheepish.”

“I just had to get out of there and collect my thoughts. He dropped me off.”

“At least he knows where you live.”

“Yes,” I said. Then, turning the subject from myself to Lacey, “What about you? How was your night.”

“I had a few drinks with Grant and then he dropped me home,” she said.

“That means we have to go back and get your car,” I said, half excited at the proposition. What if I saw Jackson again? I just wanted any excuse to go down to the valley.

“I already picked it up this morning,” Lacey said. “Don’t forget. I’m in a committed relationship with Matt. I can’t leave my car outside the the Rusty Nail. You know what that does to a lady’s reputation?”

I laughed.

Then I heard a crack in Lacey’s voice. She was crying.

“Lacey,” I said, startled, “are you all right? Are you crying?”

“I’m all right,” she sobbed.

“What’s going on? Why are you crying? What happened?”

“It’s nothing, Faith. Really. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Lacey, that’s not how we work and you know it. If something’s happened, you have to tell me.”

I already knew it was about Matt. That prick was really fucking with her mind. I wanted to tell her I’d get Jackson to take him out. Seriously.

“It’s not the right time. You’ve been waiting twelve years for Jackson to come back to you. I don’t want to overshadow that with my own petty problems.”

“Matt cheating on you is not a petty problem, Lacey. You don’t have to protect him all the time. You should talk about it.”

“You know if I tell the brothers about it they’ll fuck him up. I can’t let that happen.”

“Why not? That’s what he deserves.”

“Just promise me you won’t tell Jackson or the others what I’m about to say,” she said.

“You have my word, Lacey.”

“Oh, God,” Lacey said. She was starting to cry again. “I don’t think I can tell you all this on the phone,” she said.

“Get in your car,” I said. “Right now. Meet me at the diner on Main. I’ll buy you coffee and a massive dessert.”

A half hour later I was sitting in a booth at the diner across from Lacey. She’d stopped crying but her eyes were red. I ordered our coffee and a huge overindulgence of desserts—pecan pie, apple pie, lemon meringue, an ice cream sundae, a chocolate brownie. The waitress raised her eyebrows when I placed the order.

I gave Lacey lots of room, didn’t pressure her, just let her speak when she was ready.

“I can’t believe what I’m about to say,” she said at last, after at least two mouthfuls of each dessert.

I nodded. Matt’s cheating was a fact we both knew but that didn’t make it any easier for Lacey to swallow.

“The thing is,” she continued, “I thought he was cheating on me. But he wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“He isn’t cheating on me, he’s cheating with me.”

“Lacey, I don’t understand.”

“I’m the affair, Faith. I’m not the relationship. I’m the fucking affair.”

“What?”

“Matt’s got a wife.”

“What? You’ve been dating him for years. How could he have a wife.”

“He’s got a fucking wife, Faith. They have a fancy house together in Palo Alto.”

“But, I don’t understand. Haven’t you been to his apartment?”

“It’s a company apartment, for when he’s in the valley on business. I thought he went to the city for business. But no. He
lives
in the city. He came
here
on business.”

Lacey wasn’t crying. She was refusing to allow herself to cry. She was holding herself together through nerves of pure steel.

“Oh, Lacey,” I gasped.

She shook her head.

“How did you find out?”

“A voicemail.”

“A voicemail?”

“A fucking voicemail, Faith.”

I looked around the diner. It was pretty empty. No one could hear us. Lacey’s eyes had watered up now but she was still holding it together. I felt like I should get her home. I didn’t want her to drive.

“What did it say?”

“It said his wife found out about me and he had to call the whole thing off. That’s pretty much all it said. After two years, that’s how he ended it.”

“Oh, Lacey. I’m so sorry.”

She started crying then.

“He said we’d never see each other again.”

“Lacey,” I said, helplessly.

“I loved him, Faith.”

“I know,” I said, soothingly.

“I loved that asshole, and all I got was a voicemail. I tried calling him and I’m blocked. I couldn’t get through, even to tell him what an asshole he is.”

“Fuck him,” I said.

“The entire time I thought he loved me, Faith. He had a wife at home waiting for him the entire time. It was all a lie. The night we met, oh God. I thought I’d found my soul mate. He had a
wife
.”

“Oh sweetie.”

“One great big, fat, fucking lie.”

“Let me tell Jackson,” I said. “He’ll take care of Matt for you.”

“No, Faith. You promised.”

“All right. I won’t say a word.”

“I just feel like such a fucking idiot,” Lacey said. “He’s one of those compulsive, pathological liars who likes to have two separate lives with two different women at the same time. And I was one of those ridiculous women who allows it to happen. If I saw myself on a reality show I’d roll my eyes. When he told me he didn’t have a landline, or social profiles, I just ate it all up. The business trips. Fuck. He spent more time in the city than here.”

“It’s not your fault, Lacey. You didn’t know.”

“He’s crushed my heart, Faith. He’s shattered it. How will I ever get over this?”

“I know it’s hard to believe, but you’ll get over this with time, Lacey. He’s the asshole here. You’ll forget all about him.”

“Then why do I feel so dirty?”

I could see she was going to take this really hard. Only a woman whose been cheated on could understand the sort of pain she was going through. It was the ultimate betrayal.

I put my hand on hers. I prayed her ego would be able to bounce back from this eventually. I felt helpless to do anything.

“I just feel so worthless, Faith. Like no man will ever value me or love me.”

“We’ll get you through this, Lacey,” I said.

Chapter 35

Faith

I
DROPPED LACEY BACK AT THE MANSION.
I wouldn’t have left her alone but Forrester and Grant were there. They wanted to know why she was crying, they were as protective of Lacey as they were of me, but we told them it was a female issue and they dropped it.

I felt bad about leaving her but I already felt guilty for dropping Sam off late and the last thing I wanted was to be late picking him up. I was definitely over the speed limit as I rushed into the school parking lot. I pulled up and could already see him standing by the steps of the school. He was crying.

I got out of the car and ran to him.

“Sammy. What is it baby? What happened.”

“Nothing,” he said.

There are certain things about being a mother that can straight up, break your heart. There’s no pain you can experience that even comes close to what it’s like having to watch your kid suffer.

“Was it the same boys?” I said.

“Let’s just get out of here,” he said, opening the passenger door. He threw his backpack in before him.

I got in on my side. I could feel the tears right there, just beneath the surface, but he held them in. I held mine in too. I had to. It was my job to be strong for Sam. If he wanted to cry, so be it, but I couldn’t afford the luxury. At least not in front of him. For now, I was still all he had. Jackson wasn’t on the scene, just me. If I couldn’t hold it together and be strong, who would?

But it was so hard.

“This has to stop, sweetie. I have to talk to the school again.”

“No,” he insisted.

“But they’ll help, honey.”

“They’ll make it worse.”

“They’ll look out for you.”

He started crying, and it broke my heart to hear the pain in his voice. He was so strong, so brave. He was trying to hold back the tears but he couldn’t quite manage it. If only I could take that pain from him and suffer it myself. I’d have given my life to take that pain away from him.

“It’s my problem,” he said. “They think I’m weak, but I’m not. I can take this. And I don’t need you to speak to my teachers.”

“They’re bullies, Sam. We owe it to the rest of the students to stand up to them.”

“Please, mom,” Sam begged. “I know you want to help, but I need to figure this out for myself.”

I shook my head. What was he talking about? Was that really the way kids saw the world? I couldn’t understand it. Maybe it was a guy thing. For months I’d been begging him to let me speak to his school, and for months he’d been resisting. The one time I went behind his back and spoke to them, it only made matters worse. They said there wasn’t much they could do without Sam’s cooperation, but Sam wouldn’t speak to them. I lost it. I lashed out at the principal, but none of it helped Sam.

Looking at him, I realized he was so similar to his father. I hadn’t ever thought about it before, I’d shied away from thinking of Sam and Jackson together because I didn’t know if Jackson was coming back. Now that he’d returned, I realized that the same stubbornness that led Jackson on a twelve year protective killing spree, was flowing through Sam’s veins too. It made perfect sense.

I shook my head. I’d tried everything, but Sam didn’t want any of it. When I took him out of school and kept him home, he’d fought me so hard I’d been in tears when I brought him back. He was convinced this was something he had to deal with by himself. He didn’t want me protecting him from it. He didn’t want me interfering. He made me bring him back to school, and I promised him I’d step aside and let him deal with it his way.

Wasn’t that what Jackson would do?

That had been six months ago. He tried his best to hide the bullying from me, but when I saw it, it was heartbreaking. How could kids be so cruel? How could their parents allow them to be that way?

I put my hand on his lap as I drove. He took hold of my hand.

“We’re going to a movie tonight,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yes. And then we’re going for sundaes.”

“Mom. You don’t have to spoil me.”

“I’m not spoiling you. It’s for me as much as it for you. We both deserve a treat, once in a while.”

“Want to eat popcorn for dinner?” he said.

I looked at him. I knew he was being strong for my benefit as much as his own. Eleven years old and he was already more of a man than some guys ever got.

“Oh, we’ll eat popcorn, but not for dinner. For dinner, we’re going to Harry’s.” Harry’s was Sam’s favorite diner.

“Mom, stop looking after me.”

“Stop looking after you? Do you know it’s my job to look after you?”

“I’m almost twelve years old mom.”

“So?”

“So that means I’m almost a man.”

I pulled into the Harry’s parking lot, stopped the car, and hugged my little son so hard I thought I might crush him. “You’re absolutely right, you know. You are a man. You’re a fine young man. But you’re also my baby, and you always will be, even when you’re six feet tall. And I’ll always look after you.”

He hugged me back so tight I felt his little arms quiver. Why did God give us something we loved this much? It was almost unbearable. I felt as if my heart would break if those little assholes at his school hurt him one more time.

“All right,” he said. “Let’s get some burgers. We can put this day behind us.”

Chapter 36

Jackson

“I
DON’T WANT TO KNOW
where you disappeared to last night,” Grant said.

I looked at him but I didn’t answer.

“I know that look, Jackson.”

“You don’t know shit, Grant.”

“Grady, Forrester, tell me this boy ain’t going soft on us.”

The four of us had just plowed one of the lower fields in my father’s vineyard. It was on the valley bed, which meant it was full of rock and gravel. It was work better suited to oxen and draft horses than men. It was real hard work. My hands were blistered, my back was burned, and my shirt was drenched in sweat. I was grateful to them for taking the day to help me out. I was taking over the vineyard from Grant, he was ready to move on to a new project, but between the farm and the house there was more work than I could handle alone. They knew I was trying to fix the place up for Faith so they were happy to pitch in.

I took my shirt off and threw it over the back of the truck. Grady opened the icebox and pulled out four beers.

“It was right in the back of this truck here that it happened,” I said.

The others nodded. When we were younger, we used to recount our sexual exploits with each other. Now that we were men we did it less often. Only when it was something out of the ordinary. I’d been playing coy all day and they wanted to know what was up.