Authors: Jordan Silver
Copyright © 2013 Alison Jordan
All Rights Reserved
I’ve had it with this shit. No more doormat, no more Ms. Goody Two
Shoes. I picked up my phone from the mattress beside me. Only one person I know
who will understand how I’m feeling without judging me. Without bringing up my
past like a mallet to beat me over the head. One little slip in judgment when I
was eighteen years old and I have to live like a nun forever. Well fuck that
the habit’s coming off. I’m lonely, horny and pissed the fuck off. No almost twenty
two year old is supposed to feel like this.
I’m not a bad
person. I mean I have done some fucked up things in my life but who haven’t? So
why does that one little mishap get to rule the rest of my life? Meanwhile Jake
Summers gets to go on with life as usual. So what I lost my cherry in the
backseat of his mustang on the football field? Big deal. And so what if deputy
Smalls caught us and made a big stink about it? So what if mommy and daddy had
to hear about it along with half the town? Who then felt it necessary to spread
it to the other
That was four long years ago and
I’ve decided that I’ve been punished enough.
Didn’t I have to
give up my scholarship and go to the local community college because momma and
daddy forbid me to leave? Apparently getting your cherry popped by the town’s
bad boy in the backseat of his
up ride was a
taint on your character for the rest of your life. Not only that it was the
gateway to hell to hear them tell it. The only good thing about that whole deal
was that I was able to finish my four-year degree in three. That’ll happen when
you’ve been cut off from the rest of the free world for three damn years.
. I still blush just thinking about him. He’d tried
to contact me after that night but daddy had made threats, and since the
sheriff was a good buddy of his, (more like daddy owned him) poor Jake had
given up. But not without trying behind the scenes at least a couple more
times. He had left town a few days later, hadn’t seen or heard from him in three
years. His sister Mindy had kept in touch but we had to keep our friendship
hidden. Daddy didn’t want any reminders of my shame as he calls it.
Now Mindy has been
badgering me about going out with her. She knows I’m not allowed but it doesn’t
stop her from trying every so often. I like hanging out with Mindy, it makes me
feel closer to her brother somehow though she never talks about him anymore. In
the beginning she’d brought him up every other second but when she realized how
much it hurt me she’d stopped. I miss hearing about him but it was just too
He was the only boy
I’d ever loved. Well boy might be a bit of a stretch. He was twenty-three when
I was eighteen. Rumor had it that he was smart but he was drawn to the dark
side, fast cars and motorcycles. When we met he’d just been home from college.
It was hard to believe he’d actually been, he just didn’t fit the profile.
Leathers and tats did not spell alumnus if you know what I mean. But talking to
him made me realize just how much you should never judge a book by its cover.
Jake was insightful
and knowledgeable about a lot of things. Too bad that wasn’t enough for daddy
when the shit hit the fan. All he saw was a kid from the wrong side of the
tracks who wasn’t even good enough to walk in his little girl’s shadow. He’d
run him off, the only man I’d ever felt for and in the last three years
proceeded to parade the sorriest bunch of assholes this side of the Mississippi
before me every chance he got. I fixed him though, fixed him good. Every one of
went away knowing
about my sin. I might embellish
the truth a bit, saying that the incident had made the newspapers. And since
most of them were mama’s boys out to please they ran like a scalded cat. Daddy
had fits but what could he do? He finally took note and stopped bringing them
around about six months ago.
I don’t know what’s
gotten into me. For all intents and purposes I’ve been cool with my lot. But
now school was over. I can go out and make my own way. I’m no longer dependent
on my parents to take care of me and by rights I’m a grown woman. I want out. I
refuse to spend another night reliving the heat and passion of my one
encounter. When my kitty gets wet the next time I want there to be something
more than memories to get me through. I wish I knew where Jake was right now.
Maybe I’ll ask Mindy, maybe he would still be single and have been pining away
for me the same way I’ve been yearning for him.
Yeah right. No one
that looks like that can stay single for that long. Who am I kidding? My heart
hurt just a little at the thought of it. But what did I expect? Jake had been a
man when we met. A man who packed a punch even then, I could only imagine how
much he'd improved with age, and experience. Thoughts of my Jake with anyone
else could usually send me into a melancholic haze for days on end. Those are
the days I hated daddy most. I've cried enough tears over Jake Summers to flood
the Mississippi and I'm sure before my life is done I'd cry even more. Because
if there's one thing I know, there'll never be another like him for me.
I hadn’t known him
when he lived in the area before and was the school quarterback. He was five
years ahead of me in school after all, and besides I never got to hang with the
cool kids. That summer when he’d been home for the last time I’d been tutoring
his sister Mindy who is just a few months younger than I am. I’d taken one look
at him that day when he came into her room where we’d been studying, and lost
Daddy had no idea
who it was I was tutoring of course, or where it was. He would’ve had ten fits
if he’d ever known. For him the pride that his beloved daughter had been chosen
as a tutor her senior year was enough. And I guess he thought the school held
to the same ideals as him and put like with like as he calls it. In that token
he would never have expected them to pair his unblemished lily-white angel with
someone of a lesser pedigree. As I’ve grown and matured I’ve come to realize
that daddy is a heel.
I watched the lone mosquito
flit around above my head and I tried to drum up the courage to make the call.
If I did this there was no going back. I have never in my life defied daddy in
anything. There’s no doubt that he would hear about it if I went out on the
town with the sister of the man he blames for my fall from grace. There was a
war going on inside me. I could taste freedom on the tip of my tongue, but fear
held me back. I don’t have the first clue about being on my own. I’ve never had
to fend for myself before. As the only child and daughter of Gary and Sandy
Willoughby I have been pampered all my life. Daddy expects me to toe the line
until the grave, which means following his every dictation.
Something I’ve done
with the exception of that one night. That one fateful night that was the
beginning and the end. He’d been so gentle, so kind. Nothing at all like the
bad boy who spoke rough and gave me looks hot enough to destroy my panties in
ten seconds flat. I must admit looking back I’d followed him around like a puppy
That first night
watching him with his sister, the playful way they interacted with each other.
Something sweet had unfurled inside me. I’d wanted that with him, wanted the
attention. Only when he’d turned his attention to me the intense heat in his
gaze had been anything but brotherly. And when he smiled at me for the first
time and his dimples were on full display, I knew he was going to be the father
of my babies. My ovaries had spoken.
“Who’s your friend
Mindy?” His voice had been rough and smooth at the same time, which made no
sense. All I know is that his sweet timber had sent shivers down my spine and
since he’d said it while still staring at me like he wanted to eat me in the
good way I was all but vibrating. Mindy had been giggling as he tickled her,
school work forgotten at the sight of her big brother who’d come home for the
“Oh sorry Jake this
is Jacqueline we call her Jackie for short. Jackie this is my big brother
Jake.” I’d blushed bright pink and stuttered like a ninny, wishing the floor
would open up and swallow me whole. It was the first time I’d realized the
affect my parents’ strict upbringing had had on my existence. I had no social
graces outside of eating with dignitaries at state dinners. In short I hadn’t
the first clue how to react in the social setting of boy meet girl. And this
should not have been my first foray. He was way too much man for my little
heart to take. I wanted.
Was that my name? Was that the name my mother had given me? Why had it never
sounded so sweet before? Why had I never had the urge to strip naked and
present myself on a platter at the mere sound of it? My soft reply was barely
audible but it was all I could get pass the lump that was forming in my throat.
I stood in that room near tears because even then I knew. He would never be
mine. Whatever my heart was feeling at this moment it would be torn before the
night was done. I had no doubt that I would cry out that pain against my
pillow. Daddy would never let me have him. That’s even if he was interested
which there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening. I’m green but
I’m not that dense.
I have a fairly good
understanding of how these things work and though I’m not blind to my own
attributes, I do know that I’m nowhere near his caliber. Beautiful people
usually leaned towards others of the same ilk. Not brunettes with brown eyes
and hips that are just a little too wide. I tried shaping them down but they
have a mind of their own and though I’m a size eight there’s no getting away
from my ass and hips. No someone like him will end up with some super model
type with long blonde hair and a perfect size two body.
whose daddy didn’t run her life like a drill sergeant.
"You seen my girl
"You tell her
I’m coming back to that rinky dink town to get her and no one, not even her
fuck of an old man is gonna stand in my way this time."
"Jake you can't
mine...tell her to get ready because I'm coming and when I leave she's on the
back of my fucking bike." I hung up the phone and put it back in my
"Hector we done
here? I've got shit to do."
just a minute, I have to test the merchandise."
The asshole snorted a line of the grade
front of him while three armed men stood back from their boss who was watching
from his place at the head of the table. The old warehouse was musty and damp
and I was over this shit already. I had everything I needed, all that’s left
was for me to tie this shit up and get on the road. I’d put in for three months
leave, another smart move on my part. No vacation time in the past three years,
and no sick leave. I’d wracked up my days for just this occasion. I knew when I
finally got my hands on her again it was going to take at least that long for
me to feel like I’d put my stamp on her. I just needed these fucks to finish up
this deal so I could burn their asses and be done with it.
There had been an
influx of new crank coming into the US from Europe of all places. This shit
made everything that came before it look like child's play. It was supposedly
laced with some chemical that some twisted fuck in Russia concocted in a lab
and was geared strictly towards the US. Talk about chemical warfare. Whatever the
shit was it was spreading throughout the Midwest like wildfire, it was cheap,
highly effective and in great supply. There was only one draw back; the shit
was lethal. After one hit you're hooked and within the week of over indulging
your new high you ended up assed out in a rat hole somewhere. It also makes you
crazy as fuck coming onto the end with the sweet little side bennie of a taste
for human flesh. I wanted this shit off my streets yesterday.
Mikhail, excellent shit." Hector smiled at the Russian mob boss who in all
the times we'd met had spoken maybe ten words. It had taken my task force
months to set up this relationship. To foster it and nurture it until it was
what it was today. These criminal types aren't the most trusting fuckers in the
world so gaining their trust takes some doing. It meant moving out of my nice
comfortable condo and into a seedier side of town. It meant a whole new
identity which was nothing new, I've done this shit too many times in the last
three years to count, but this time my shit had to be tight. This was no low
level runt we were dealing with here, these ex KGB fucks are as crazy as they
come and they know their shit. On our first meeting the fucker knew the whole
history of my made up family. Dumb fuck. He might be good but I'm better.
That's why the force had given me my own division when I signed up. It didn't
hurt that the Feds and the fucking kooks had come knocking, so when I chose to
go with the city's PD instead they'd been only too happy to have me. I had the
brainpower and they had the trainers to hone me into a fucking super killer.
Now I felt ready. Ready to go take back what the fuck was mine.