Bad Girls (24 page)

The second stroke made as big an impression as the first. She was scared of them and tensed her buttocks as I swung. This may not have had much of a consequence if I was using my hand, but it was absolutely the wrong thing to do with the paddle, for without the give of relaxed flesh her thighs were crushed even harder into the front of the desk and the pain must have been a good bit worse. She tried to relax but couldn't help herself, just as she couldn't help herself when after the fourth stroke she put her hands back to block the next one and stood up while a long series of protests burst from her mouth. Instead of the respite she so desperately desired, her behavior garnered a stern warning to keep her hands in place.

It was hard to punish Rebecca for something Ashley did, though from the rear view they seemed more interchangeable. It wasn't like their asses looked alike, but it was a uniquely impersonal, even pornographic, angle. It dehumanized them. The very existence of an ass like that was enough to make you want to spank it, regardless of who it belonged to. It was the opposite of looking someone in the eyes, which inspires connection, fellow feeling, empathy and tenderness. Her ass inspired nothing of the sort. Instead, it seemed to offer up a challenge.

The last dozen on Rebecca's virgin ass were uniformly severe. They were the ones for not talking to me after our magical day together, though I suspected it would take more than just these strokes to right that wrong. God knows what else she'd done that deserved punishment, but whatever it was, she was regretting it by the time I got to the final five strokes.

‘No, please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.' Her voice wobbled on the edge of tears, though I had no idea what she was sorry for.

‘I'm sorry, Rebecca,' Ashley echoed from where she curled in the fetal position, hugging her knees to her breasts and rocking in shocked despair as she watched her former friend's agony.

‘Oh, Ashley,' Rebecca responded with feeling that defied any attempt to define it. Sometimes that was what seemed to come out during the spankings – pure feeling, nonsensical feeling, inchoate feeling. Sometimes it felt like that was what needed to come out most.

‘I know it hurts, Rebecca. I'm so sorry I've done this to you. Please forgive me.' I continued paddling Rebecca while Ashley continued her monologue. ‘You can do it, Rebecca. Just a few more. It'll be over soon. It'll be all over soon.'

Ashley's words softened Rebecca and they both began to cry, for reasons that seemed quite unrelated to the paddling. Beyond the skin of their bottoms, their faces were red and blotchy, tearstained with bloodshot eyes. By the time the crack of the last stroke faded, Ashley had gone to Rebecca's side and was hugging her, apologizing desperately and trying to console her. They collapsed to the floor, crying on each other's shoulders.

I should have felt cruel, like a mean-spirited sadist, for inflicting all that pain, yet I didn't. Something inside said they were lucky to have me. They would never forget this. This was the biggest thing to happen to them in years and they would look back on it as a turning point in their lives. Then they would think of me with gratitude and admiration. I regarded them with nothing but warmth and affection as they cried two decades of sadness and regret in each other's arms. It was a far cry from the bitterness that characterized our feelings but a few days ago. No, this was not some shameful deviance; it was something we could all be proud of, as unorthodox or even incomprehensible as it may have seemed to an outsider.

It might seem anticlimactic, but we found our way up to Ashley's bed and cuddled for a while, closing our eyes, holding and touching each other, but never going any further than a caress, even though the two of them were still naked from the waist down. Part of me wanted them to tell me about their punishments. To hear it in their own words would set me off completely, and I would have tried to fuck one or both of them for sure, but they were too drained for words and too drained for fucking, so we just cuddled. But even without any sex, I can't say I left with any unsatisfied desires.

Now this is where everything began to circle back to my marriage. My time living with my lie was limited. Not only was Rachel graduating in a couple of weeks and going with her friends to backpack around Europe for the summer, but the truth would inevitably come out. Ashley would ask Lucy how Rachel was holding up since her mom had died and Lucy would say, ‘What? I don't know what you're talking about.' And she would ask Rachel and Rachel would say, ‘What? Where did you hear that?' And then it would only be a matter of time before the whole thing came out. The fantasy couldn't last forever.

Moreover, the lie had run its course. We'd learned more truths because of that lie than any honesty could have taught us. We were different now and I think we were all a little tentative to make contact with each other, scared maybe that the spell would be broken by the banality of daily life. Given that everything was about to change, I decided to change myself first. I began packing my things, filling boxes and preparing to put the house on the market. By the time Rachel's mom drove up for her daughter's graduation, I was ready to follow her back to where she'd moved. I knew it would work out. I was a different man now, and I just knew it would work out.

‘Jane,' I said, after we returned home from taking Rachel and her friends to the airport for their European vacation, ‘there's something we have to talk about.'

‘What's that, Bruce?'

‘I still love you. I want to stay married to you. But there's something I need to do if it's going to work.'

‘I'm listening.'

We were in the bedroom, our old bedroom, and we were sitting on the bed that was ours for all those years. I turned to her, screwed up my courage, and told her the things Ashley and Rebecca had taught me.

‘I was nothing but a doormat for years. I'm sorry I've been such a disappointment. Your anger has been justified. But I'm ready to be the husband you hoped I would be, not the passive little man I was.'

‘How can I know you're serious?'

‘You'll know after I spank you, Jane. You'll know it if you bare your bottom and lie across my lap and finally get what you've needed from a husband.'

She pulled down her panties, right then and there without me asking twice. She smiled at me mischievously, and purred, ‘I thought you'd never ask.'