Bad Teacher (13 page)

His brows draw together, and he purses his lips. “I …”

“Don’t tell me something you don’t want to say,” I interject. “I want the truth.”

“I won’t do it as easily as I did before,” he says.

“You’d better not because I won’t be as easy to win back either.” I smile at him and then turn my head away, determined not to let him get to me.

Even though he already has.

Because who am I kidding? I’m already head over heels … and I know my crush is also doomed to fail.

But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream.

Right?

Hailey

I come home in the middle of the night.

Lesley is fast asleep, snoring her way through what looks like raunchy dreams, judging by the amount of drool on her pillow. She moans a little when I close the door. I chuckle to myself as I take off my clothes and hop into bed. The moment my head touches the pillow, she groans again.

“You’re back …” she mutters.

“Hmm. Just go to sleep.”

“You were with him, weren’t you?” Her voice suddenly sounds much more awake than usual.

I hesitate to answer, fearing the worst. “Yeah.”

“Please tell me you're careful. And safe.”

I thought she was gonna scold me. I didn’t expect her to actually worry. Not that she needs to, but it feels nice to know she cares so much.

I turn my head toward her. “Of course.”

She smiles at me, but I can definitely see the troubled look she’s trying to hide. “Don’t let him hurt you.”

“He’d never touch me that way,” I reassure her.

“I mean your heart,” she says. “He’s your teacher, after all.”

She’s really worried about me, even though she doesn’t need to be. But I understand. We’re best friends after all, and best friends take care of each other. Even when one of them doesn’t wanna hear it.

I nod. “I know.”

She turns around and falls back to sleep again, but I’m still wide-awake.

My stomach churns with uncertainty.

She’s right. He is my teacher. Is it wrong to fall for a guy like him? Is it doomed to fail?

I sigh and close my eyes.

Only one way to find out.

***

Thomas

That night

I lie in bed, awake, unable to sleep.

I keep thinking about Hailey.

About our fun time together, and about how excited she makes me.

I smile to myself, wondering what she’ll wear tomorrow.

If I can make her blush with just a few words.

The color of her cheeks entices me.

But most of all, she provides me with a means to escape.

To fantasize and dream about something naughty and nice … instead of wallowing in my own misery.

Reluctantly, I close my eyes, hoping sleep comes soon so I don’t have to lie awake all night as I often do. Hoping that, when it does finally come, it’ll be gentle and smooth.

But I know that’s only a lie I tell myself to fall asleep easier.

Tonight is no different.

In my dreams, it’s morning, and I’m not in my apartment anymore. I’m in a place I used to call home. A place that’s long gone, and now only exists in my memories.

The sun is shining brightly, a warm glow on my skin as I get out of bed. I walk into the living room and am greeted by the smell of buns roasting in the oven … or rather, burning.

Frowning, I check the stove. Black smoke fills the room as I open the door and take out the tray of burned buns, completely crisp and inedible. I throw the entire pan in the sink and cool it down while blowing away the smoke, and I open the windows to let it escape.

Strange.

Why would she put something in the oven and leave?

I call out her name, but there’s no response.

I check all the other rooms, but she’s nowhere to be found.

Until I come to the bathroom.

It’s locked.

I knock. Three times. No response. I call out her name again. No response, even though I know she’s in there.

Panic makes me shove my shoulder into the wood. Again and again, until it cracks and my muscles ache. When the lock breaks, I slam it open and rush into the bathroom …

Only to find her resting in the tub.

Her head is underwater.

Her body is cold and white as snow.

I grab her body and pull her from the water, dragging her out of the tub and into my arms. My clothes are getting soaked, but none of that matters because all I can think of is how I can make her breathe.

I clasp my hands and press on her chest a few times, repeating the movement until suddenly she bursts into coughs. Water spills from her mouth. I breathe a sigh of relief and help her cough out the rest by holding her head so she doesn’t swallow it back.

Tears well in my eyes at the sight of her.

Her eyes are watery. Empty. And the first thing that finally floods back into her isn’t life. It’s guilt.

Her hand lifts to meet my face, and I lean into her palm. Cradling her in my arms, I sniff and let the tears run. She’s alive. She’s here.

Still.

For now.

This is how it always goes.

How my dreams turn into nightmares and wake me up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.

But this time, I don’t stop the dream.

I don’t will it to end.

I just sit here in my dream world and let it all go.

Just like she did.

***

A few days later

During the day, I ignore whatever happened in my nightmares. I push them away into the deepest corner of my mind because I don’t want to think about them. It’s the only way I can stay sane.

What I
do
want to think about is that girl … Hailey.

Every time I see her in class, I can’t take my eyes off her.

Or my fucking filthy mind.

I imagine her naked in my bed, in my arms under the shower, fucking her in every way possible, showing her all the good in life. Sex. Lots of sex. I can’t have enough.

I think she noticed too. She keeps smiling at me funnily, and I can’t help smile back as if we’re sharing a private joke. It always happens after I fuck her. It’s like she knows I can’t get enough of her.

I can’t hide my attraction well.

God, I thought I knew what I was doing. That I was capable of keeping my feelings at bay, but I’m not.

Lately, I’ve been having these visions of us actually doing normal things. Like going to the movies, going out for dinner, or taking her on a fucking boat ride. Jesus, I’ve even thought of having a picnic and a fucking frolic in the grass. I don’t fucking picnic or frolic.

But strangely, I’d do it for her, and I don’t even fucking know why.

In the dark, I fuck the girl who so desperately wants my attention.

But in the light … I smile for her.

I want to see her happy.

For some reason, I want to get to know that girl I take home every now and then. That girl who hides her baggage behind vibrant clothes and bright red hair. It’s as if she screams ‘stay away from me,’ but it only makes me want to come closer.

Something about her feels so familiar … like something I can connect to.

And I rarely ever connect with anyone other than myself.

Or my cat.

No one comes close to my cat.

We have a connection on an otherworldly scale.

When class ends, all I wanna do is go over to her and kiss her, but that wouldn’t be appropriate. All those other girls would get jealous of her, and we don’t want that to happen.

So I text her on her cell, telling her to meet me at a park far away from the campus. I see her glance at me, a wicked smile forming on her face, and then she leaves. I go to her table and touch the wood, smelling my fingers afterward. I’m not crazy. I can actually smell her scent. Or maybe I am crazy. Addicted. Lost.

Or all of them at the same time.

This isn’t good for her or me, but I can’t stop.

So I go after her, to the place we agreed to meet.

I find her standing against a tree in the park that’s rarely visited by students. A perfect place to meet unseen. Except for the fact that she’s smoking.

She greets me with a smile, but I snatch the cigarette from her hand, throw it on the ground, and rub it out with my foot.

“Why’d you do that?” she snarls, placing her hand against her waistline.

“You shouldn’t smoke,” I say. “It’s bad for you.”

“Oh.” Her hand drops, and she looks a bit befuddled. “Well, I’m not a kid. I can take care of myself.”

“I can see that,” I muse, raising a brow.

She sighs and rolls her eyes, but her lips still curl up into a tentative smile. I grab her chin and lift it gently, giving her a charming smile. “I don’t want you to die early.”

“Gee, thanks,” she retorts.

“I mean it.”

She licks her lips and looks down at the ground. “I know.”

“Promise me you’ll stop,” I say, trying to get her to look at me by lowering my head to her level. “Don’t smoke.”

“I can’t …”

“Do it for me?” I cock my head. “I’ll give you a kiss every day you manage to keep it up.”

I know it sounds corny, but it makes her laugh a little, so my job’s accomplished.

“Fine.”

“Good girl.” I give her a quick peck on the forehead, making sure no one’s looking.

She rubs her lips, her hair falling down her cheeks almost intentionally as if to cover a blush. A breeze makes her hair blow in my direction, and the sudden beauty in the movement enraptures me. Her pink, full lips and bright eyes draw my attention as she doesn’t look anywhere but at me. In the light of day, she suddenly looks different. Less like the girl I fuck for pleasure and more like the girl I want to kiss for fun.

Almost instinctively, I lean in, my brain turning inactive from her sheer presence, and I smell the scent of her spicy perfume that reminds me of a tropical summer night at the beach in Hawaii. The energy she exudes washes over me just by being near her, and it fills me with something I haven’t felt in a long, long time.

Something that makes me feel alive.

Her lips part and the moment I realize words are about to spill out, I press my lips to hers.

I don’t want to interrupt her, but I couldn’t stop myself either.

I just
had
to kiss her.

When the moment passes and our lips detach, I feel a sense of fulfillment that makes me smile.

I’ve clearly lost it this time.

Kissing a girl—no, not just any girl … a student—in broad daylight in a place anyone could see us. If anyone’s stupid, I am. I’m risking my career, and for what?

For what? For her.

For her.

Yes, for her.

I don’t know why I’d say yes … but for her, I’d do it.

Just the thought alone makes me pull back.

An uneasiness creeps onto her face, and I wonder why. Is it because I kissed her? Or because I’m
not
kissing her anymore?

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She shakes her head and smiles it off. “Nothing.”

I frown and narrow my eyes. Something’s up, but she won’t tell me. I don’t think it has to do with me, though. The way she looks into the distance and rubs her arms makes me think there’s more going on in her life that I don’t know about.

Of course, I don’t.

I never asked.

Or ever gave the impression that I was interested.

I’ve been a fool.

How could I expect her to tell me when she knows it doesn’t bother me enough to even ask? After all, I told her it was just sex … and sex is really the best I can give her.

The only thing I shouldn’t be giving her as her teacher, yet I don’t want to stop either. In fact, every moment I spend with her only makes me want to pursue her further.

“So why’d you wanna meet up?” she asks, dragging me from my thoughts.

“Oh, right. Did you get your tests back?” I clear my throat.

“What tests?”

“From the doctor,” I whisper, placing my hand on the tree next to her.

“Oh … that.” She makes it sound like it’s some sort of despicable thing. “Yeah.”

“And?”

She smirks and raises a brow at me, folding her arms. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

I frown. “Oh, c’mon, Hailey. We don’t have time for this bullshit.”

“No, we don’t have time to take it easy. You just wanna fuck me,” she says. “Right?”

I sigh. “Just give me the damn answer.”

“I will …” she muses, but I can already tell where this is going. “If you take me out on a date.”

I take it back. I did
not
see this coming.