Bad Teacher (20 page)

As I run up to his apartment, I hear voices yelling from afar. For a second, I contemplate leaving again, but my curiosity is too strong to deny. I wanna know what’s going on, so I sneak up to the door and listen in on a conversation I know I shouldn’t be hearing.

“Please, just leave me alone,” Thomas says with a low, defeated voice.

“No. I followed you here for a reason. You might think you’ve gotten off easily by storming off like that, but I don’t accept it.” It’s the woman’s voice.

“I never said I had it easy or that I want it to be easy! I just want it to be over.” His voice fluctuates in tone.

“Tough shit, Thomas. You should’ve told me what was going on. Should’ve been honest with me.” It sounds like her, the woman that came to his office. Natalie.

“It’s none of your business,” he growls.

“Yes, it is! And you know damn well why!” She sighs out loud. “You’ve been acting so strange lately, and now, I know why. I told you to get your shit together, to stop drinking and finally pick up your life, and what do you do? You fuck it up with one of your own fucking students.”

“I know!” I hear glass shattering, and it makes me jolt against the wall. I almost lose my balance, but I catch myself on the doorpost. “Dammit, don’t tell me what I already know.”

“Then you also know you have no right to be pissed off at your own mistake. I’m the one who should be pissed off. You slept with a student. How am I supposed to think that’s right?”

“You don’t,” he says.

“Of course, not! Goddammit … After everything I did for you.”

Everything she did for him?

“This is how you repay me?” she adds.

“Please … just leave me alone,” he mutters.

“No. I
need
an explanation.”

“I don’t have one, okay?” he yells. “It just happened. We fucked. A few times. It didn’t mean anything.”

Didn’t mean anything?

Tears well up in my eyes again, but I blink them away.

My heart is breaking slowly.

And when I thought it couldn’t break anymore, she opens her mouth again.

“It’s done. You’re done. I’m done. Over. I quit.”

She quits.

They’re done.

With trembling hands, I release the doorpost, only to stagger forward.

I thought it couldn’t be true, but apparently, it is.

Without thinking, I peek through the open door and look at the both of them, stampeding through his room. He’s rubbing his face while hers reminds me of thunder and lightning.

I suppose it’s only fitting … for an angry girlfriend.

Because that’s what it’s always been.

Right?

That’s what I was afraid to see. Afraid to admit.

That moment when she dropped him off, I should’ve believed Lesley. Shouldn’t have ignored that looming feeling of betrayal.

Because damn … what a sad thing to find out that you’re not the only one.

That it’s all just been a fling.

And I fell for it.

All along, I could’ve known. I could’ve asked, but I didn’t.

I let us stay in limbo. And now, I pay the price.

With tear-stained eyes, I stand in front of his door, not giving a shit if either of them sees me.

When they look up and see me, their faces turn cold with sweat, and his eyes grow big.

I stand strong, even though I feel weak and broken.

But I refuse to let him see.

I refuse to be his victim.

I will stand as he falls.

And when his lips part, I turn away and run.

Run as fast as I can, away from his apartment, for the last time.

Thomas

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“Hailey!” I yell, but she’s already disappeared from view the moment I step out my door.

“Let her go,” Natalie says, and she places her hand on my shoulder. “It’s not worth it.”

“Dammit, she heard everything,” I say, shaking her hand off. “I knew it. I knew I never should’ve let you in. Look what happened.”

“That’s all on you,” she says. “You should’ve dealt with it when you had the chance.”

“It? Her name is Hailey.”

“And now her name is ‘gone-girl,’” she jests. “It’s too late, Thomas. She won’t come back, trust me.”

I look out the window, but I can’t see her anywhere, not even in the parking lot. Fury makes me slam my fist into the wall. “Fuck!”

“Calm down,” she says. “It’s not gonna help you.”

“I have to go after her,” I say.

“No, don’t. You’ve already ruined your career. Don’t ruin her too.”

“But she hates me,” I growl.

“Then it’s only easier for her to let you go. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway.” She rubs my back. “I mean, look at you two. She’s young; you’re not. You have a job; she doesn’t. You already have a whole history behind you. She’s only just starting out. She’s different than you are. Your lives don’t match. It could never have been more than a fling.”

I hear her words, but they don’t register because I don’t want them to.

Part of me wants to cling to the hope that I can salvage something. And a part of me just wants to give up the fight.

“Let her go. If she hates you, then that means at least you won’t have to break her heart when she loves you,” she says. “It’s easier to hate than to love.”

“And now, we’re both broken beyond repair,” I mutter, resting my head against the window.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you played with her heart,” she says, turning away. “You gambled, and you lost. It’s time to admit your defeat and rescue whatever you can.”

“I can’t. I’m already fired.”

“Hmm … true.” She takes a deep breath as she walks to the door. “But at least you can now focus on something worthwhile instead of a young girl who would never be happy with you anyway.”

As she walks out the door, I glance over my shoulder and say, “You’re wrong. You’re wrong about her. And about me.”

She pauses but doesn’t reply. Then she closes the door behind her and leaves behind a gaping emptiness that makes me howl with pain.

***

Hailey

A few days later

I totally screwed up the test I had today.

I knew I was going to fail it the moment I sat down to pen my answers.

I hadn’t studied.

I hadn’t even tried.

Well, I did, but I couldn’t get past the first page without sobbing uncontrollably.

I can’t do anything for shit, and I hate it.

I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling betrayed.

But most of all, I hate Thomas Hard.

He ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it in front of the entire school.

I’ll never forgive him.

At least, that’s what I tell myself. That I can hate him forever, even though I know I can’t.

All I want is for this deceit to go away. For it to have never existed in the first place.

Is it so wrong for a girl to want a happy life with the guy she fell in love with?

Love … what a waste that I gave it away.

Just like that.

In my room, I sit and stare out the window, listening to music on my headphones while trying not to think about Thomas, which is obviously not working. I’m trying to decide whether it’s even worth it to go on with my semester. I’m failing all my classes, and the whole school recognizes me as ‘that girl’ or worse … some even whisper ‘whore’ behind my back.

It hurts, but not as much as him not being here to apologize does.

I haven’t seen him since I last saw him in his apartment with Natalie.

His office is empty, completely stripped of anything that would remind me of him. It’s as if he’s completely vanished off the face of the earth. And I’m still here … alone, miserable.

I sigh, pick up my pillow, and shove it in my own face, growling.

“C’mon, Hailey. Move the fuck on. He’s not worth it.”

If only Lesley were here so we could binge watch
Sex and The City
, but unlike me, she actually goes to her classes. Like right now.

Out of nowhere, my phone starts buzzing, and I jump out of bed to fish it off the table. My excitement quickly dies out when I notice the number isn’t one I recognize.

“Hello?” I say as I pick up.

“Hi, is this Hailey Walters?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” I don’t recognize the voice.

“All right. This is Saint Lucas’s Hospital. Your mother’s been admitted.”

My heart stops beating. “What’s going on? What happened?”

“She’s had significant bruising and a fractured rib. We don’t know the cause yet, but it’s imperative that you come here as soon as possible. She gave your number as a contact.”

“Oh, my god. Yes, I’m on my way right now!” I grab my stuff as quickly as possible and run out the door, not giving a shit about the fact that I have classes in a few hours. My mom comes first.

***

When I get to the hospital, I immediately ask for her room number and make my way upstairs. My heart is racing, and sweat is running down my back as I hurry through the hallways to my mom’s room. When I finally find her, she’s lying in bed with her eyes closed, and I fear the worst.

“Mom!” With tears in my eyes, I run to her bedside and hug her tight, but she’s not responding.

“Hi, I see you’ve arrived.” A nurse comes in.

“Hi,” I say, rubbing my hair out of my wet face. “Why isn’t she awake?”

“She’s still asleep from the anesthetics. She’s been given a lot of morphine to deal with the pain.

“Oh … What happened?” I ask as I sit down on the chair beside her.

The nurse hangs a new bag of antibiotics on her line and checks my mom’s stats. “Well, we don’t really know exactly, as she seemed to have been quite confused about it. She uttered some words to the paramedics about stairs. We think she may have fallen down. It’s amazing she even managed to call us.”

I look at the bruises on her face and say, “I don’t think those were caused by falling down the stairs.”

She raises her brows. “It’s possible. We don’t know. She didn’t say much other than to call you.”

“Okay.” I purse my lips. “What about my mom’s boyfriend?”

“Ahhh … Yes, we called him too. He hasn’t said a lot other than to say she fell down the stairs.”

“Right.” I frown.

“I think he’s getting some coffee. If you want some too, you can get it down the hall on the left.” She smiles.

“No thanks,” I say. “I just wanna stay with my mom for a second. If that’s okay.”

“Of course. I’ll leave you two to it. Oh, she might wake up soon. The morphine dosage has been reduced, so she won’t feel so drowsy all the time.”

“Thank you,” I say as she leaves the room.

I take a deep breath and then caress my mom’s cheek. “Oh, Mom … what did he do to you?”

Her mouth twitches and a soft moan leaves her throat. I smile, blinking away the tears. “Shh… don’t talk yet.”

“Oh, so you’re here too. Couldn’t get here sooner?”

The moment I hear his ugly voice, I turn around and growl, “This is all your fault.”

“What? You not being here?” He snorts. “That’s all on you, girl.”

“Don’t talk to me. You’ve said enough,” I say. “I don’t want you anywhere near my mom or me.”

“Well, tough luck, kid, because this is my woman.”

“She is
not
yours. She’s not an object you own. She’s a human being, and I know she didn’t just
fall
down the stairs either.”

He makes a face. “What? You’re not suggesting I did it? Bullshit.”

My mom suddenly squints her eyes, and I immediately focus on her again. “Mom!” I grab her hand and squeeze. “I’m here.”

“Hailey?” Her hand lifts and she wipes her forehead. “God, I’m glad you’re here.” She’s still slurring, but I can understand her just fine.

“And I’m not going anywhere either,” I say, squeezing her hand tighter.

“I had such a bad dream. And I feel so sleepy. Like I’ve been asleep for days.”

“That’s the drugs,” I say, chuckling a little.

“Yeah, and because she’s a lazy twat.”

“Shut up!” I say, turning around. “Just shut up.”

Infuriated, he slams his coffee cup down on the table and says, “How dare you speak to me like that?”

“Stop …” my mom mutters.

“No, you need to learn how to behave.”

“And you need to learn to keep your hands off my mom,” I growl.

“What did you say?” His brows are on six o’clock, and his fists are balled.

“You heard me; I know this was your doing.”

“If she weren't such a clumsy woman, she wouldn’t trip down the stairs all the time. Don’t you blame this on me, kid; you weren’t even there for her. You were too busy screwing other boys at that stupid college of yours where you’re not learning one damn thing.”

“Please … don’t fight …” my mom utters.

Tears well in my eyes. “You know nothing about me. Or my mom. I don’t give a damn what you say—I know you hit her. Those bruises on her face didn’t happen because she ‘fell down the stairs.’” I make quotation marks with my fingers.

“Hailey …” my mom says.

“No, Mom, I’m done faking it. I’m done lying. You should be too. Look at what he did to you.”

I direct my attention back to him. “You’re the only reason our whole world went to shit. You ruined everything. Me. My mom. You’re a bastard.”

“That’s it!”

He lifts his fist and makes a threatening move.

Right then, a nurse enters the room, and he quickly lowers his arm and pretends he was stretching and yawning. Then he leaves the room again, eyeballing the nurse with some kind of non-verbal threat. The nurse just stands there and furrows her brows at him, turning her head to look at him as he stomps off.

“Quite a piece of work,” she says. “Excuse me.”

“I know, right?” I say.

“Hailey …” My mom coughs.

“I
hate
him.” I grab her hand and look her deep in the eyes. “Mom, please …”

“I’m sorry, Hailey,” she says, her eyes turning watery.

I rub my lips together, trying to prevent the tears on my side. “I know.”

“No, you don’t. I’m really sorry I put you in this position again.”

“I’m okay, Mom, really. I am. Worry about yourself.”

She leans in to brush her thumb across my cheeks. “Such a beautiful, smart girl. You’ve got your father’s genes, not mine.”

I smile. “And your caring and forgiving nature,” I say.

“Hailey …” She pauses. “I lied.”

I close my eyes and squeeze her hand again. “I know, Mom. It’s okay.”

I know exactly what she lied about.

Not just these bruises, but all her other bruises and broken bones too.

All of it.

It was all a lie.

She starts to cry. “I’m sorry … When he pushed me, he left me there. He just left me for dead. I managed to crawl to the phone and call for help.”

“You’re lucky he left. He could’ve done more damage,” I say.

She sniffs. “But now, he’s gone … and I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“Good,” I say. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I kiss her on the back of the head. “Promise me you’ll tell him you two are over for good. End it. Once you’re out of the hospital.”

She nods softly. “I know you must hate me.”

“I don’t. I’ll never hate you.” I give her another peck. “I hate him.”

“After your dad died, I needed someone so badly.” Her breathing staggers.

“Don’t talk about the past,” I say. “Just tell me you’ll never let him touch you again. No more bruises. No more broken bones. No more lies.”

She nods as the tears roll down her cheeks, and I can’t help but cry a little myself too.

Who in the world could make it through without crying when seeing their own mother in shambles?

I know I can’t.

“I love you, Mom,” I say. “I know you need love, but isn’t my love enough?”