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Authors: Debby Conrad

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“I couldn’t do that,” Kaitlyn said, gazing at the menu.  “Mark’s worked much too hard to get where he is.  Besides, I think he loves his new job.  More than me sometimes.”  She let out a long sigh.  “I’m not even hungry.”

Here we go again, Bailey thought.  Why did relationships have to be so difficult?  Why couldn’t two people simply express their likes and dislikes?  Well, if this was the way marriage was, she was happy not to have to deal with it anytime soon, she decided, taking another drink of her fruit juice and rum drink. 

Glancing over the menu, she found several dishes that sounded appealing to her, and suddenly she was ravenous.  She finally decided on the grilled shrimp and closed her menu.  “Kaitlyn,” she said, searching her sister’s face.  “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Kaitlyn played with the beads of sweat on her glass, and looked off into space as if she were thinking.  “Well, I already have more than most people.  I have three great kids . . .”  Patting her Stomach, she said, “Soon to be four.  And I have Mark.  We have a beautiful home.”  She contemplated a while longer.  “I just wish Mark could be home more.”

“That’s it?”

“Well,” she said, shifting her eyes toward her mother, then back to Bailey.  “I’ve always wanted to write.”

“You have?”  Bailey was surprised.  “I’ve never heard you mention that before.  I mean, you took some writing courses in college, but you never pursued it.”

“What do you want to write, dear?” Mimi asked.

“Well, I was thinking, I might want to write a romance novel.”  Kaitlyn’s mood seemed suddenly buoyant.  “I have several ideas, in fact.  And whenever I get a free minute, I’ve been outlining and plotting.”

“That’s so exciting,” Bailey said.  “What does Mark think?”

Kaitlyn frowned.  “He doesn’t know.”

“You haven’t told him?”

“He’s never home.  Besides, with taking care of the kids all day, and with another baby on the way, I don’t have time to do more than dream about writing.”  She waved a hand in front of her.  “It was just a silly dream, anyway.  I shouldn’t even have mentioned it.”

“I don’t think it’s silly, dear,” Mimi said, leaning forward, and touching her daughter’s hand.  “I admire your courage for admitting that you have a dream.”

“Thanks, Mom.  But I’ll probably just put it off until the kids are grown.”

“Poo-poo.”  Mimi slapped a hand on the table.  “If you want to write a book, then do it.  Tell Mark that you need him to take care of the kids two or three nights a week and for a few hours each weekend.”

Bailey couldn’t believe it.  This from a woman who’d waited thirty-six years to finally tell her husband how she felt.  But her mother had a point.  “Mom’s right,” she said.  “If you tell Mark how important this is to you, maybe you’ll be able to work out a solution.”

“Do you really think so?” Kaitlyn asked, looking hopeful.

“Yes,” Bailey said.  “As a matter of fact, there’s Mark now.”  She pointed to her brother-in-law who was waiting on a table on the opposite side of the room.  “Go tell him that you’d like to speak to him.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now.”  Bailey pulled on her sister’s arm until she stood.  “Go on.”  She watched as Kaitlyn made her way across the room toward Mark.  She saw them exchange a few words, then disappear behind the bar.  It looked as though they were headed toward Quinn’s office.  Probably so they could be alone.

Exhaling a long sigh of contentment, she reached for her drink.  She’d already started feeling a little lightheaded and maudlin.  Seeing Quinn behind the bar, she smiled shyly.  She had no doubt that her sister and Mark would work things out.  And her parents would be fine also. 
But what about me?  What is it I want?  

She knew she wanted to try her hand at running a stained glass shop.  And she knew she’d be good at it.  But what else had been missing from her life?  Taking another sip of her drink, she met Quinn’s eyes.  And it hit her.  She was definitely head over heels in love with Quinn.  And there wasn’t a darn thing she could do about it. 

Or was there?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

While they waited for their dinners to arrive, Bailey used the opportunity to talk to her mother.  It was time to lay all her cards on the table.  She only hoped her mother would forgive her for lying.  “Mom, I have some things to tell you, and I need for you to listen carefully.”

Mimi smiled.  “Okay,” she said simply. 

Bailey twisted her fingers in her lap and licked her lips.  “That man behind the bar is not Stanley.  His name is Quinn, and he owns this place.  And I think I’m in love with him.” 

Mimi turned to look over her shoulder, her mouth falling open.  Pivoting back around in her seat, she said, “But what about Stanley?”

“Stanley is a creep.  And besides, he dumped me.  I was so humiliated and ashamed that I asked Quinn to pretend he was Stanley.  I’m so sorry I lied to you and Dad.  I just didn’t know how to tell you at first.” 

Bailey went on to tell her mother how she’d also asked Quinn to offend her family and why.  Mimi’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything.  She probably didn’t know what to say.  Her daughter was a charlatan and a liar.  “And now . . .” Bailey said on a sigh, resting her elbows on the table and cradling her chin in her hands, “I’m afraid I’ve made a real mess of things.”

“It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.” 

“But I told you I’ve fallen in love with him.”

Mimi smiled, her eyes filling with moisture.  “That’s not such a terrible thing.”

“Yes, it is, Mom,” she said sadly.  “Quinn doesn’t love me back.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” she said knowingly.  “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” 

Bailey raised her eyes inquisitively.  “I wish I could believe that.”

“What you need is a dose of your own medicine.  You were quick to tell your sister and me to speak our minds.  But what about you?”  She shook her head and steepled her fingers.  “If you really love this man, then you certainly aren’t going to sit back and let him get away, are you?  All because you’re too afraid to take a chance?  That doesn’t sound like the Bailey I know.”

“You think I should just march right up there and tell him how I feel?”

“Why not?”

Because I tried that once, and he nearly ran for the border
, she thought, remembering their night of passion in Stanley’s guest room.  “I can’t.”

“Of course, you can.  Now go on.  March up there and tell him.”

“I . . .”  She paused, thinking she must be crazy to even consider something so foolish.  So bold.  So daring.   

“Go on,” her mother said, encouraging her with a wide smile. 

She thought about making an excuse, and knew it was futile.  She loved him.  She wanted him.  And by God she was going to have him.  Pushing away from the table, she tossed her napkin and her sweater on the chair.  Squaring her shoulders and putting one foot in front of the other, she moved forward until she stood directly in front of the bar. 

Quinn had his back to her, busy mixing a drink of some sort.  But he’d seen her in the mirror, she was sure.  Their eyes had connected briefly.  Before she lost her courage, she blurted out the words she’d chosen to say.  “I love you, you big oaf!”

Pete, the man she’d met earlier that week, spun around on his stool, his face turning a bright shade of crimson.  “I’m really flattered, Bailey, but I think I should have told you the other day that I’m married.”

Bailey smiled awkwardly.  “I’m sorry, Pete.  But I was speaking to that other big oaf.  The one behind the bar.”

“You mean Quinn?”  Pete looked relieved and confused at the same time. 

“Yes, Quinn,” she said. 

Catching her gaze in the mirror, Quinn slowly turned around and scowled at her.  “You’re making a scene,” he said in a low voice.  “How many drinks have you had?”

Bailey’s mouth flew open.  She’d just poured her heart out to him, and he’d accused her of making a scene.  Of all the nerve.  “Never mind,” she said.  “I should have known you wouldn’t care.”

“Look, Bailey, I’m trying to run a business here.  Can’t this wait until later?”

“Oh, sure.”  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “I’ll just put my feelings on hold until it’s more convenient for you.”

Leaning across the bar, he said, “I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t put a lot of faith in your feelings.  You turn them on and off as easily as a light switch.”

“Fine,” she said.  “If that’s how you feel.  And here I was . . .”  She waved a hand at him.  “Never mind.  I won’t bother you anymore.”

Quinn looked as if he’d been about to comment, when a young man with bright yellow hair, a pierced eyebrow, and a microphone, strolled her way.  He asked if she wanted to volunteer to sing karaoke.  Not wanting to be rude, but unable to speak for fear she’d cry, Bailey simply shook her head, refusing his request.

“Aw, c’mon,” he said, winking at her.  “Everyone’s a little shy at first, but someone has to get things rolling.  And besides, you don’t look like the shy type.”

Pete spoke up.  “Yeah, Bailey, you should give it a try.  Singing is good for the soul.  I’ll even buy you a drink if you do it.”

Behind the bar, Quinn rolled his eyes.  “One more drink and, not only won’t she be able to sing, but she won’t be able to stand either.”

Because of his surly attitude, and the effects of the rum she’d drank, Bailey accepted the challenge.  “I guess I could try it.” 

Shaking his head, and mumbling something she couldn’t make out, Quinn stormed off to the kitchen without a backward glance.

“C’mon,” the D. J. said, “Let’s go pick out a song.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Quinn couldn’t believe it.  Bailey had strutted right up to the bar and announced that she loved him.  Right in front of God and everyone.  Well, she either knew her mind, or it was the liquor talking.  Probably the latter, he thought.  He’d been tending bar for a long time and had witnessed his share of drunks.  Although he wouldn’t exactly call her drunk.  Tipsy, was more like it.

But still, she was one gutsy lady.  He forced himself to remember she was also a liar.  Although she’d looked so serious when she’d made her confession.  It wasn’t the type of affirmation he’d expected.  ‘I love you, you big oaf’ wasn’t exactly flattering.  But still, it held a certain amount of appeal and charm. 

Quinn barked orders at the cooks and dishwashers, inventing unjustifiable complaints, just so he wouldn’t think about Bailey anymore.  But it didn’t work.  Hearing her voice a few moments later, he hurried out of the kitchen to watch from behind the bar.

“You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog,” she bellowed thickly into the microphone, her eyes boldly meeting his from across the room.  Tossing her hair across her shoulders in a gesture of defiance, she sang on.  She wasn’t much of a singer.  In fact, she had trouble reaching the notes she was supposed to reach.  But her tear-smothered, throaty voice carried a unique force. 

Getting into the song, she began to move provocatively; swinging her hips this way and that.  Every curve of her body spoke to him, until he couldn’t take it anymore.  Rounding the bar, he strode toward her and scooped her up in his arms.  “Sorry, folks,” he said, “but the lady has another engagement.”  With that, he marched behind the bar, through his office, and up to his apartment.  Bailey pounded her fists into his chest and shoulder the whole while, demanding he put her down.  But Quinn refused, even once they were behind closed doors. 

“You want to tell me what that was all about down there?” he asked, his face close to hers.

“I was singing.”  She lifted her chin and looked at a spot over his shoulder.

“Like hell.  Don’t lie, Bailey.  That message was directed at me.”

“Oh, what do you know!  You’re so damn thickheaded, you wouldn’t recognize a subliminal message if it jumped up and bit you on the butt.  Which I practically did already.”

“Honey, if you’d bitten me on the butt, or anywhere else, I would have remembered,” he taunted, managing to anger her more, her eyes blazing with fury.

“Put me down.”  Her small fists pummeled him.  “I hate you.”

“That’s funny.  I distinctly remember you saying you loved me, not more than ten minutes ago.  See what I mean about you not knowing your own mind.”

“You’re right.”  She met his gaze.  “How could I possibly think I was in love with you?  And how could I have possibly thought about offering myself to you?”


Offering
yourself to me?  I don’t remember hearing any
offers
.”

“That’s because you don’t listen.  I was willing to sacrifice my virginity, but you weren’t interested.”

“Honey, when I choose to make love to a woman, it’s because there’s a mutual desire between us,” he retorted in cold sarcasm.  “Not because she decides to make a sacrifice of herself for God only knows what reason.”

Quinn set her on her feet and looked away, disgusted.  Running his hands through his hair, he pinned her with his eyes and rambled on.  “Why now?  You’ve hung on to your virginity for this long, why is it so important that you lose it now?”

Her glare burned through him.  “I thought maybe it would be fun.”

“Fun!”
  He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “You want to have fun?  You want me to take your virginity just so you can have some fun!”  His heart pounded viscously in his chest, his breathing so rapid it was nearly out of control.  Resting his hands on his hips he dared her with a look to answer him. 

“A few days ago, you seemed bothered by the fact that I was a virgin.  But now that you have a chance to do something about it, you don’t want to,” she challenged, her hands settling on her hips as well.

“Jesus, Bailey.  Is that what you think?  That I don’t want you?”  He dropped his hands to his sides.  “Don’t you realize how hard it’s been for me to keep my hands off you?”

Some of her anger evaporated, leaving only a confused look on her face.  “No,” she whispered.  “Why don’t you show me?”

He didn’t know who had taken the first step to close the distance between them.  All he knew was that she was in his arms, and he was kissing her to distraction.  He plunged his tongue in and out of her mouth, wanting more of her, afraid he would never be able to get enough.  His erection was instantaneous, and without thinking of the consequences, or in spite of them, he pulled her against him.  Her hips answered with a move of their own, until Quinn came to his senses.  Dragging his mouth from hers, he pushed his face into her hair, smelling her shampoo and perfume.  With ragged breaths, he whispered, “This isn’t right, Bailey.”

“Yes, it is,” she answered in a husky breath.  “I love you.  I don’t care that you don’t love me.  I just want this one night with you.  And then I’ll get out of your life forever.”

As appealing as her last statement may have sounded a few days ago, Quinn wasn’t so sure he wanted Bailey out of his life anymore.  And besides, once he made love to her, he feared it wouldn’t be as easy as all that. 

He needed time to think.  But he couldn’t think straight with Bailey pressing her warm silky body close to his.  And he couldn’t think straight with her warm moist lips kissing his neck and throat. 

Disengaging her arms from around his neck, he moved back several steps and studied her.  “Bailey, I think you had too much to drink--”

“No,” she said, tossing her head back and forth.  “I didn’t.”

He blew out a long harsh breath.  “Look, this isn’t easy for me.”

“And you think it’s easy for me?” she asked, taking a step closer.  “All I want is for you to show me what I’ve been missing all these years.  Is that so much to ask?”

Yes, damnit, it was.
  He grew so furious he could barely speak.  “So, you want to throw away your virginity so you can have fun?  So you can see what you’ve been missing?  Is that it?”

“Yes,” she whispered, looking ashamed and desperate at the same time.

“Fine.  If that’s what you want.  But don’t say I didn’t warn you.  I don’t want you having any regrets, and if you do, I don’t want to hear about them.  Do you understand?”

She nodded, looking up at him, her eyes wide with innocence.

So, it was just sex she wanted.  And it was just sex she would get.  He’d be damned if he’d give her anything else.  Certainly not a piece of his heart.

What a fool he’d been.  She’d said she loved him, but he could see now that she’d only said that to convince him to take advantage of her.  Or was it he who was about to be taken advantage of?  Right now it didn’t matter.

Moving across the room, he reached under the sofa and gave it a hard yank, pulling the bed free while Bailey watched him.  Nervously she licked at her lips and twisted her fingers.  If she thought he was going to make this easy on her, she was wrong.  He planned to be demanding and ruthless.  She’d get everything he had to give her, physically that was.

“Take off your clothes,” he said, challenging her with a look and dropping his weight onto the bed.

She hesitated, her hands trembling, her bottom lip slightly quivering.  Slowly her shaking hands disappeared behind her to fumble with the zipper of her black linen sheath.  He wanted to go to her, to undress her himself, but he couldn’t.  She was going to do this his way.

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