Baiting the Maid of Honor (20 page)

his lips seemed like too much of an effort. If he moved any part of himself, the numbness he’d

managed to achieve would dissipate and the feelings would rush back in and overwhelm him. He’d

missed the damn dance rehearsal. Completely blown it off and now he felt a dull, permeating sickness

thinking of the implications of that. If he’d wanted to fix things with Julie, he’d just gone and royally

fucked himself.

One minute, he’d been standing in his room ready to go, wearing a suit and everything. Might have

even psyched himself up for a dance or two. Then he’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on

the way out. The next thing he knew, he was ordering a double whiskey, neat. One-Eyed Jack, no less,

as if irony could be appreciated when he felt like he’d been run over by a semi truck. That suited man

in the mirror wasn’t him. It would
never
be him. Despite what Colton believed, he couldn’t make a

girl like Julie happy. She’d been right, back in the woods. He wasn’t capable of
more
. Thanks to his

past, he had no example to go on, either. Knowing her, she would work double time trying to give

them a fighting chance. Watching her spin her wheels would make him miserable when nothing she

did would be effective anyway.

He would be her biggest failure.

As a child, he’d seen firsthand what a damaged man could do to a woman. He’d watched his

mother fade into nothing with each passing day at the abusive hands of his father. Back then, he’d

been too young to do anything about it. He had no choice but to do something about it now. To let go

of this ridiculous idea that Julie
belonged
to him and walk away. Ensure she didn’t meet the same fate

as his mother and leave her intact. Because God knew he was damaged—every scar on his body told

that tale—while Julie went around doling out happiness to everyone she crossed paths with. If he

dulled that part of her, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Damn it, why hadn’t he done this

before
he let himself consider the idea of keeping her? How could he bear it?

A perfectly manicured hand slapped down on the bar in front of him, rattling the cage he’d built

around himself.

“Hey. Asshole.”

He looked up into the face of one truly pissed-off Regan. Good, he’d love a fight. Anything to take

away this horrible dread he couldn’t shake. He turned in his stool and gave her an imposing look he

usually reserved for his team. “Come again?”

Regan didn’t so much as blink. “Oh, I think you heard me.”

“No shit. I’m giving you a chance to rephrase.”

She looked disgusted with him.
Join the club.
“You know, I really misjudged you, Reed. And I

don’t misjudge people. Ever.” A glance toward the door. “Although apparently it’s a week for firsts.”

“Is there a point to this?”

“There’s always a point when I’m talking.” She actually poked him in the chest. “That first night, I

saw something in you I thought would be good for my friend. I trusted my gut and switched that room

key. You really let me down. Worse, you let the most genuine woman either one of us knows down.”

Pain broke through the numbness.
I let her down. Fuck, I let her down.
“Then it looks like you both

saw something that wasn’t there. I never promised her anything. Do I look like the white picket fence

type to you?”

“No. You look like a coward.”

She looked a little surprised at her own outburst, but it didn’t compare to the blast of anger he felt

hearing the truthfulness behind that word. The anger was directed solely at himself. How he’d chosen

to handle the situation. Running to a bar just like his father would have done. What sense did that

make when he’d pushed Julie away so he wouldn’t become his old man and ruin her? His actions had

accomplished just that.

Regan wasn’t finished, though. Part of him wanted her to keep going. Jesus, he deserved it. “This

has been a waste of my time,” she said. “Leaving her standing there all alone without a partner was

the nail in your coffin. I’ll never forgive you for what I saw on her face today.”

The air left his lungs, a vicious pounding starting in his temples. He thought of his girl standing

there watching everyone else dance, when she’d been the one to plan the whole damn thing, and he

wanted to break something. Lots of somethings. Oh God, he’d been sitting here so mired in his own

bullshit, he’d forgotten today was the anniversary of Serena’s death. “Where is she? Is she okay?”

“Oh no, the Regan help line is hanging up now. You’re on your own.”

The words hadn’t finished leaving Regan’s mouth before Reed jumped to his feet. He needed to

find Julie. Needed to touch her, to fix what he’d broken. This overwhelming anguish he felt at the idea

of her in pain told him something important. It told him beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would kill

himself making sure she never felt that way again by his hand. No matter what it took. Setting aside

his demons, opening up about his past…hell, even cuddling. If she gave him a chance, he wouldn’t

screw it up. The alternative, living with the gaping emptiness he felt now, the emptiness
she’d
filled

this week, wasn’t a possibility anymore.

Before he could haul ass to Julie’s room and demand to be let inside, he forced himself to slow

down. He wasn’t about to raid an Atlanta drug den, he was convincing a woman to let him love her.

Shouting at her through a door wouldn’t cut it. Not after how badly he’d failed.

How do you fix this, Reed? This time it counts.

Think.

…

An hour later, Reed took a slow, steadying breath and knocked on Julie’s door. His determined knock

echoed the one in his chest. In his line of work, getting through doors was what he did best. This

might be his hardest job yet, because once he got through this door, he had another one to get through.

And no amount of brute force or commands would work on the second one. He listened for movement

on the other side and heard none. Before he could panic, a shadow moved across the peephole,

disappearing just as quickly. Relief at having her so close turned to desperation when the door stayed

shut.

“Pixie, let me in.”

Her muffled sigh poured over him. “Please just leave. We’ve said everything that needed saying.”

The finality in her voice almost sent him to his knees. “I haven’t. Not by a damn sight. Open the

door for me, baby.”

Something hit the door. Her head, he suspected. “I’m trying to make this easy for you.”

“Fuck easy.”

“We’re too different. This never would have worked.”

Reed laid his palms flat on the door, his pulse kicking up a notch. “
Would
have worked, Julie?”

Hope flared. Hope that he might have a chance. “Did you…had you considered it? Us?”

For long moments, all he got was silence. “Yes. I thought about how it would be a disaster. I

thought about how you would belittle the things that I consider important. Just like you’ve done since

the wedding started. All those events you ridiculed and made a joke out of? I planned them. It’s what I

do. It’s what I’ll always do, Reed. I make things pretty. And you hate pretty.”

“Jesus, pixie…please, stop.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t like hearing how I hurt

you. That I…
would
hurt you. I don’t like it.”

To his utter shock, the door eased open. Julie stood framed by light, looking so fragile and beautiful

he stopped breathing, afraid he might interrupt that beauty. There was more, though. She had fire in

her eyes, as if she’d finally reached the end of her fraying rope. Damn it, he should have been there to

catch her when it snapped. “Reed, if you came here to get me into bed, t-to prove some stupid point,

you should know I’ve already taken out a potted plant today and I’m working my way up to something

bigger. I—” Her gaze shot wide as it traveled down his body. “Why are you wearing a tuxedo?”

Jesus, he was sweating. At least he’d diverted her anger. “The bet we made. At the scavenger

hunt.” He relaxed slightly when recognition dawned on her face, followed by confusion. “I told you I

won, which was true.” His voice went husky, and he held out his hand. “I wouldn’t trade the prize that

followed for anything. But I consider making you happy the bigger win, Julie. I wanted to…show you

that.”

Julie stared at his outstretched hand for what seemed like an eternity. When she finally took it, cool,

slim fingers slipped through his larger ones, locking them together. The stiffness in his shoulders

relaxed just slightly. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but judging from her wary gaze, it would

send her packing. It didn’t stop the urge from gripping him. She looked stressed out. His body knew

how to relieve that stress. His nature demanded he distract her from her troubles the only way he

knew how. But his brain, and yeah, his heart, told him it wouldn’t work this time.

Jesus, that scared the hell out of him.

Reed did his best to calm the rising fear as they walked past the lobby area and wound down

another hallway. At the very end, he pushed open a heavy wooden door leading to the solarium he’d

found earlier after his head-clearing walk. He breathed a mental sigh of relief to find it empty, save

the plush furniture and bookcases full of reading material. Rain pelted the glass ceiling, the reason

he’d specifically chosen this particular room to bring Julie. He closed the door behind them, locked

it, and watched her wander through the room, taking it in. Even he, who admittedly didn’t know a

damn thing about romance, could appreciate the atmosphere. Soft lamplight, the smell of leather, no

sound except the falling rain. Even so, her stiff posture remained. He took a deep breath and waited

for her to see the blanket and deck of cards he’d laid out in front of the window.

Julie paused at the edge of the flannel. “What’s this?”

“I...uh…” He crossed to her, sat down on the floor. “I thought we could play go fish. Since it’s

raining outside and all.”

Reed could feel her staring at the top of his head, but he couldn’t look up at her, instead busying

himself shuffling the deck of cards he’d purchased at the gift shop. Damn it, he’d put himself out there

with this plan. It could very well be all wrong. Who’s to say she wanted to remember her sister this

way? Doing something they, as sisters, had shared exclusively? Who’s to say she wanted
him
to be a

part of that? Reed braced for the worst, fearing her rejection. If she walked out now, he didn’t know

if he’d recover. So he waited. When she plopped down in front of him, shifting slowly into a cross-

legged position, he couldn’t prevent a tiny sigh of relief from escaping.

When he started to deal the cards, Julie stopped him with a hand on his. “Wait.” Her voice sounded

husky. “I have to cut the deck. With my eyes closed. It’s tradition.”

“Okay.”

Their gazes locked for a heavy moment, before her eyelids slid down to cover the blue eyes he

missed immediately. She lifted the top half of the deck, nodding to indicate he should place the bottom

half over it, which Reed did before taking back the deck. He didn’t take his eyes off her the entire

time. Couldn’t. She looked so incredibly soft sitting in the dim light, shadows cast by the swaying

trees outside playing over her face. With her dress spread out around her on the floor, looking like

something out of a fairy tale, it took every ounce of Reed’s willpower not to drag her across the

blanket. As a child, he’d never had quiet moments like this. It struck him then that while he’d arranged

this for her, to commemorate the anniversary of Serena’s passing, it seemed to be filling some long-

empty void inside him as well.

“You’re not allowed to let me win. Serena always let me win.”

Reed thought for a moment. “How do you throw a game of go fish? It all depends on the cards

you’re dealt.”

Julie picked up the cards Reed tossed in front of her. “She’d ask me for cards she knew I didn’t

have. Cards she already held, I suppose. I’d tell her to ‘go fish’ so many times, she’d have her whole

hand full after five turns. I’d always run out first.” She smoothed her hand over the blanket. “I knew

the whole time, but I never said anything. I liked winning. Isn’t that silly? Two girls sitting there,

playing a pointless game when the outcome had already been determined?”

When her breath hitched on the last word, he knew she was rambling to hide her emotions. Again,

he quashed the need to comfort physically and focused on what she’d said. “It’s not silly. You were

both giving each other what you needed. The game was just an excuse to accomplish that.”

Julie frowned, shook her head. “I’m the one who got to win. What did Serena get out of it?”

“She got to spend time with you.” Her eyes widened in a way Reed couldn’t interpret. The reaction

made him want to backpedal. Make a joke. But he heard Colton in his head.
Tell her what you’re