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Authors: Elmore Leonard

BOOK: Bandits (1987)
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I
'
m gonna follow the guy,
Jack said, and learn all about him. Where he banks, where he eats his supper. . . . If I have to go in his room I '
ll find a way, so don '
t worry about it. Okay?

Roy said, I
'
m not worried. I already found you a way.
He sipped his drink, not taking his eyes from Jack, then put on a grin as he said, You starting to feel some strain?

It told Jack, yes, Roy had been serious a moment ago and now he was letting up, turning it around. Roy was a friend, but Roy had to be handled with a pair of Leo '
s rubber gloves, carefully.

Jack said, You found somebody working here you know,
and watched Roy put a little more into his grin.

Guess who.

Man or woman?

Man.

Black or white?

Dark brown. Give you a hint
great big nigger.

I know him?

There was a time he might
'
ve killed you, if it weren
'
t for me.

Roy was maintaining his importance. Jack said, It surprises me I even knew how to take a leak before I met you, Roy. This was up at the farm you '
re talking about. Lemme think. . . . The time I was watching TV and the hogs came in the room and switched the channel.
He saw Roy nod. One of his first nights in Big Stripe. The lights went off in the dormitory at ten-thirty, but TV could stay on, in the bare room with folding chairs, till twelve.

That same day, just before they blew the yard at six and everybody had to be somewhere, the black con had approached him making a kissing sound, said, Hey, bitch, I think you my style, yeah, made that kissing sound again and Jack hit him in his puckered mouth, half turned and threw the punch with a lot of body in it. He took the guy by surprise and decked him the same way he used to do it when he was fifteen and sixteen at the river beach and it was for fun, not a matter of staying free, out of some guy '
s bunk after lights out. He had heard guys with each other in the dark, Jesus, and couldn '
t believe it. Right after he hit the guy and a crowd began to close in, Roy had walked up and said, You willing to fight anybody wants you as their gal-boy?
Jack had all his adrenaline there handy and said, You want to find out?
Roy said, You need me, Delaney.
Knowing his name already. There are seventy-one of them and eighteen of us.
Meaning blacks and whites in the dorm. If you don '
t care to be part of a mixed marriage then tell them you '
re Roy Hick '
s round-the-way. You understand? You '
re my home-boy, friend from civilian life. It '
ll save you breaking your hands or dying, one.

Now at the table in the hotel courtyard Roy said, You were watching
'
yLifestyles of the Rich and Famous '
and the three hogs come in and switched it to '
yBugs Bunny '
or some fucking thing.

Jack said,
'
yLifestyles of the Rich and Famous,
'
the burglar '
s dream program, wasn '
t on the air yet. I was watching a movie and I '
ll tell you what it was, it was The Big Bounce, a terrible movie, but Lee Grant was in it and I was in love with her at the time. Woman has a wonderful nose. And the hogs, they came in and switched it to '
yLove Boat, '
which I couldn '
t stand to watch. So I got up and switched it back.

That
'
s when I came in,
Roy said. And who was it switched it back to the '
yLove Boat '
?

Biggest black guy I ever saw
up until the Superbowl and the Refrigerator was playing with the Bears. You mean to tell me Little One is working here at the hotel?

He
'
s a waiter,
Roy said. I just saw him, pushing a table into the elevator. Little One, that night, he switched the TV back and you didn '
t know what to do.

You talking about? I would
'
ve switched it back soon as Little One sat down. You walk in, look at me. You go, '
yWhat '
re you watching this shit for?
'
I wasn '
t watching it, I was watching the movie.

He
'
d a killed you.

He might
'
ve tried.

I told him,
'
yLittle One, sit down.
'
You remember? I told him, '
yYou behave, or I won '
t let you join the Dale Carnegie Club. Shit, I was on the executive committee and Little One knew it. He was dying to get in the club '
cause you know the man liked to talk. But they wouldn '
t let him in account of he was such a mean asshole.

I remember you tried to get me to join.

You should
'
ve. Dale Carnegie changed Little One
'
s life. They even let him in the Angola Jaycees.

You mention the fundraiser to him?

Sure I did. He knows him. Says the man
'
s running up a bill you wouldn
'
t believe, but doesn '
t tip for shit.

I wonder when he
'
s coming back.

That desk clerk
'
s got his head up his ass
the man never left. He '
s sitting right in there, in the cocktail lounge.
Roy nodded. That door over in the corner. The dining room and the bar.

Jack didn
'
t move. Little One said he
'
s in there?

Last time he saw him.

Were you gonna tell me or keep it to yourself?

I just told you, didn
'
t I?
Roy leaned back in his chair as he said, Jack, if it ain '
t fun, it ain '
t worth doing. I thought we were of a mind on that.

Jack felt off-balance, awkward, but didn
'
t believe it showed. He drew on the cigarette, blew a thin stream of smoke, and said, I forgot. Make it look easy.

Like we played the two guys in the car. Nothing to it.

He
'
s in the bar, uh?

I don
'
t think you should stick your head in there, let him see you,
Roy said. That might not be too funny, would it? We could have us another beverage, wait for him to come out. There '
s no way he '
d recognize you in this shitty light. Though you might move your chair back a speck, get behind the tree more.

Jack said, That
'
s an idea.

Roy grinned at him. I thought you
'
d like it.

They had fresh drinks in front of them when Jack saw Roy look up and open his eyes with some expectation. Jack bent his head back as far as it would go as the black trousers and white jacket appeared next to him at the table. He said, Little One, is that you up there?

Little One said, Mr. Jack Delaney, it
'
s a pleasure to see you, but we better skip shaking hands. The man '
s coming out this minute and I don '
t know you gentlemen from any other convict dudes come in here.
He walked off toward the lobby.

Roy said, That must be him now.

Jack looked over his shoulder, surprised to see two figures, Mutt and Jeff: the colonel wearing that same tan suit and black tie, moving with the same confident, lazy stride, talking with easy gestures, using his hands a lot.

Jack said, The short one.

Roy said, I know that. But who
'
s the gringo?

Yeah, guy about fifty in a dark suit, dress shirt but no tie, dark-rimmed glasses, thin sandy hair. Little One held the door open, glanced back, and then followed them into the lobby.

There was a silence at the table until finally Jack said, Maybe he
'
s a contributor, an oilman.

Roy said, Uh-unh, he
'
s the law. I can
'
t tell what branch of government, but you can put it down in your book he '
s a fed.

Chapter
11

TUESDAY MORNING Jack had to pick up a body at Hotel Dieu, an eighty-five-year-old woman who
'
d spent her last month there at the hospital, light as a feather lifting her onto the mortuary cot. Back at Mullen & Sons he wheeled the cot onto the floor lift, pushed the button, and watched it rise through the opening trapdoor in the ceiling to the second floor. Jack went up the back stairs, wheeled the cot off the lift and into the prep room, where Leo was filling the embalming machine with Permaglo.

Some guy by the name of Tommy Cullen phoned. I told him you were out.

Jack said, I
'
d like to talk to you after. I want to take some time off.

How much time? Few days, a week?

I
'
m thinking of leaving here.

Leo was lifting the body onto the prep table. He looked up from his bent-over position, the old lady in his arms. What
'
re you talking about? You '
re gonna walk out on me?

Leo, there young guys dying to be morticians. You can get help, easy.

After I got you out of prison?

You helped and I appreciate it, but you didn
'
t exactly get me out. I
'
ve been here three years now and you know I didn '
t ever plan to stay.

What
'
re you gonna do?

I
'
ll look around.

He heard a phone ring, the one in his room, not the business number.

Leo said, You
'
re getting yourself into something, aren
'
t you?

Jack didn
'
t have to answer that one. He hurried into his apartment, sat down in a sofa that had spent thirty years in a visitation room before coming up here, and picked up the phone.

Cullen
'
s voice said, Jack, they
'
re gonna throw me out of here, say I have to leave. Soon as they get hold of Tommy Junior he has to come get me. They spoke to Mary Jo and she told '
em to call the prison '
cause she won '
t have me back in the house.

What
'
d you do?

I didn
'
t do nothing. I don
'
t know what '
s going on here.

What
'
d they say?

Guy, one of the help, comes to my room this morning and tells me to pack up, I
'
m leaving. I said, '
yWhat '
re you talking about I '
m leaving?
'
He says Miz Hollenbeck sent him to tell me. That '
s the broad runs the place. I go to her office, I '
m gonna find out what '
s going on. She jumps up, says, '
yDon '
t you come in here. Stay where you are, '
and says to her secretary, '
yEvelyn, call Cedric.
'
That '
s the guy told me I had to pack. One of the colored guys that does the shit work there. I said, '
yWhat is this? You didn '
t get the Medicaid check or what?
'
Miz Hollenbeck looks like she '
s afraid I '
m gonna come over the desk at her, telling me stay right there, don '
t move.

Jack said, Has this got anything to do with Anna Marie?

Well, sort of, yeah. But, see, at this point all she
'
s telling me is that Tommy Junior signed the contract that says if there '
s any kind of improper conduct I have to leave, and they '
re trying to locate Tommy Junior. You know he '
s a house painter. Only he '
s had, well, kind of a drinking problem lately and he isn '
t always where he says he '
s gonna be. I think it '
s between the paint fumes and being married to Mary Jo causing it.

Jack said, What
'
d you do to Anna Marie?

There was a pause. What do you mean, what
'
d I do to her? I never did nothing she didn '
t want me to.

When was this, last night?
He heard the buzzer sound in the hall; it meant someone had entered downstairs.

I had the colored guy, Cedric,pick me up a bottle of port wine; nice stuff, cost four dollars and I give Cedric a buck. I had a couple glasses and then later on I stopped by Anna Marie '
s room, see if she cared for a glass.

Jack lighted a cigarette with his hotel matches, listening, staring at a framed print on the wall over the refrigerator: two young ladies in a primeval forest playing on a swing in a time Jack could not imagine. There was nothing in the room that belonged to him; he could pack one bag and be out of Mullen & Sons in five minutes.

I mentioned she
'
s got a very nice room of her own here. Anna Marie says well, if I think it '
s all right, looks up and down the hall, and I go in. Soon as I pour us a couple of glasses she gets the album out. Here '
s Robbie and here '
s Rusty and Laurie and Timmy, shows me her kids, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren, and names every one of them. I said to her.
'
yAnna Marie, you can '
t be old enough to have grandchildren, huh, come on?
'

Jack said, Cully, I don
'
t know if I want to hear this.

I meant it. She doesn
'
t look her age. She only looks about seventy . . . seventy-two, maybe. The hell, I '
m sixty-five. What '
s the difference? I said, '
yAnna Marie, that '
s a swell-looking family and you are a good-looking woman.
'
We '
re sitting next to each other on these two chairs pushed together. I can see she liked that, what I said. So I lean over, give her a little kiss in the ear. She jumps, scared the shit out of me, and let out a yell. What happened, I kissed her hearing aid. I said, '
yAnna Marie, you don '
t need that thing, take it off.
'
So she does. I give her another kiss and tell her, my, you '
re a good-looking woman and all this shit, you know, and I say, '
yWhy don '
t we go over and sit on the bed, be more comfortable.
'
Everything I say she says, '
yWhat? What?
'
I put my arm around her, get her up, take her over to the bed. We '
re sitting there, you know, on the edge of the bed, she doesn '
t move or say a word. I mean she did not object once to anything I did.

Jack didn
'
t want to ask, but something made him. Like what?

Like kissing her. You know. Put my arm around her . . . I undid her robe, she
'
s got a flannel nightgown on underneath. I kiss her some more. She just sits there. I '
m thinking, Jesus, it '
s been so long she doesn '
t remember what to do. But I '
m in no hurry. You go twenty-seven years, Jack, without any quiff what '
s a few more minutes when it '
s right there? Right? But, I don '
t know, I '
m thinking either it '
s been too long for her or she '
s frigid. I put my hand inside the robe . . .

Jack felt himself tense.

I touch one of her tits. No, first I had to find it. It wasn
'
t where they usually are. I put my hand on it and Anna Marie became it was like she turned to stone, her eyes wide open, staring straight ahead. So I said the hell with it, this is not gonna be my night.

Jack felt himself relax.

You didn
'
t do anything.

That
'
s what I been telling you.

Then why
'
re they making you leave?
He saw Leo standing in the doorway, Leo with the same expression Jack pictured on Anna Marie '
s face when she turned to stone, and said, Cully, hang on a second.

Leo said, There
'
s a man downstairs asking about the pickup you made Sunday at Carville.

Who is he?

I don
'
t know who he is, I said I was off Sunday but I
'
d see about it. I didn '
t know what to say.

What
'
s he look like?

He looks like
I don
'
t know what he looks like. A normal, everyday person.

Take it easy, Leo. Is the guy American or Latin?

He
'
s American.
Leo sounded surprised.

Did he show you identification?

I didn
'
t ask.

All right, I
'
ll take care of it.

He
'
s in the lounge. . . . You gonna talk to him?

Yeah, soon as I
'
m through here.
Jack waited, his hand over the phone. He watched Leo shake his head before he walked away. Jack raised the phone to his face. Cully, where were we? Yeah, why '
re they making you leave?

Remember I said she took off her hearing aid?

Yeah?

I put it in my robe while we
'
re sitting there. When I left, I forgot to give it back, and this morning she tells Miz Hollenbeck I stole the fucking thing.

That
'
s all?

That
'
s what I said to Miz Hollenbeck. You serious? The fuck do I want with a hearing aid? I can hear better '
n you can and I '
m twice your age. She didn '
t like that.

You packed?

Not yet.

Well, get ready, I
'
ll pick you up.

Jack? I don
'
t think you can get laid here.

No, I guess not.

Jack? I don
'
t want to stay in a funeral home.

Jack said, Who does?

The man waiting in the Mullen & Sons smoking lounge was the same man who had left the hotel with Dagoberto Godoy. Jack realized it coming along the hall, seeing the man from about the same distance as he did last night, the same heavy-framed glasses, the same dark suit, but now with a necktie. Up close the man was as Leo said, a normal, everyday person; not quite eye to eye with Jack, an inch or two shorter, but twenty-five pounds heavier in the buttoned suit coat.

Jack said, Can I help you?

The man cocked his head to one side, appraising him with a nice grin but a very steady look in those glasses. He said, Are you asking if you '
re able to? I think you are, Jack. I might add, it would be in your best interest if you do.

Jack cocked his head at the same angle and stared back with his own faint grin, believing Roy was right, the guy was the law but not local, some government agency with initials; New Orleans cops might bullshit you, but would never act cute doing it. Jack also believed he could outwait and outstare this guy, and he was right.

The guy put out his hand and said, Wally Scales, I
'
m with the Immigration service.

Jack gave him a dead-fish handshake, a question in his eyes. I never immigrated from anyplace. I
'
ve lived here all my life.

Except for three years in there.
Wally Scales had straightened his head but continued to grin. Am I right, Jack?

You
'
re referring, I believe,
Jack said, to when I was upstate that time?

Upstate, that
'
s good. Well, you seem to have enjoyed a successful rehabilitation.

Jack put on a reasonably stupid grin for Wally Scales and slipped a little bit of West Feliciana Parish into his sound. Well, I can
'
t say it was enjoyable, but I come through it, yes sir.

You have a good job here
you like it?

Yeah, I do. I work for my brother-in-law.

I spoke to him
Wally Scales began to frown
asked about a removal you made at Carville Sunday and he seemed distressed by the question. Why would that be?

How
'
d he seem?

Apprehensive . . . nervous.

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