Bandits (1987) (3 page)

Mario gave him a quick refill. You want more ice?

No, this
'
s fine.
Jack took a sip. I can
'
t believe it, a guy standing right there by the dresser. Now I see him go past the window and out into the living room. I wait, I don '
t hear anything, so I get out of bed, put on my pants, and tiptoe over to the door. The guy has the desk lamp on and he '
s taking stuff out of the lady '
s briefcase and putting it in this flight bag he has with him. So, I start to sneak up behind him.

No shit.

He was about your size. What
'
re you, five six?

Five seven and a quarter.

He wasn
'
t too big. Maybe a hundred and thirty pounds.

I go one sixty-two,
Mario said.

So I don
'
t see a problem unless he
'
s got a gun.

Yeah, did he?

Just then he turns around and we
'
re looking right at each other. The guy says, very calmly, '
yI bet I have the wrong room. This isn '
t 1515, is it?
'
I said, '
yYou aren '
t even close.
'
Then what does he do, he sits down in a chair, takes out a cigarette, and says, '
yYou mind if I smoke?
'
I said, '
yWhy, you nervous?
'
He says, '
yThis never happened to me before.
'
He lights up. I ask him if he '
s ever been busted. He says, '
yYeah, but no convictions. How about you?
'
I tell him, picked up once for scalping tickets at the Superdome and fined two hundred bucks. He says, '
yI don '
t want to sound like a whiner, I hate whiners, but this was gonna be my last job. I '
m supposed to go in the car-leasing business with my brother-in-law.
'
The way he said it you could tell he didn '
t want to. See, the thing was my brother-in-law, I '
m talking about Leo, was trying to get me to be a mortician even back then. It was like we had something in common.

You and the guy.

Yeah, Buddy and I. See, that
'
s who it was, Buddy Jeannette, the guy I just saw dead.

But if he wasn
'
t too big, why didn
'
t you belt him?

For what?

And call the cops.

Jack paused, took a sip of his drink. It was like
didn
'
t you ever meet someone, right away you like the person, you feel a rapport, you feel you have something in common?

Yeah, but the guy broke in.

And he starts talking like we
'
re sitting in the lobby. This is something new; play it, see where it goes. At that point, why not?

Did he take any of your stuff?

I didn
'
t have anything worth taking. He tells me he
'
s been scouting Bettybarr '
cause she wore expensive clothes and had some gold that was nice. Then he tells me he was in this room once before, during the day. I ask him, '
yWhat '
d you come back for?
'
He goes, '
yThere '
s nothing in the room when the people are away. That '
s how you do it, man, get a reading of the layout. See, then I come back when she '
s here, she '
s sleeping, her wallet and jewelry are on the dresser, and I don '
t go around bumping into things.
'
He even knew I wasn '
t with the group, when they came from New York. I asked him, I said, '
yWhat do you do, size people up?
'
He goes, '
yI appraise them. Downstairs in the bar, different places. You can generally tell who '
s got it. This one '
s borderline, but it would still be worth the trip. She '
s got over a grand in cash.
'
I asked him how he got in the room, he says with a key. Then he turns it around. He says, '
yWhat happens if the lady comes out of the bedroom?
'
I said, '
yI guess you '
d be fucked.
'
He says, '
yWhat happens if she doesn '
t come out?
'
I said, '
yThat '
s different. But tell me about this magic key you have.
'

He got one at the desk,
Mario said.

No, what he does, he checks in, gets a room. Then late at night he pulls the lock out of the door, takes it all apart and figures out how to make a fire key.

What
'
s a fire key?

What it sounds like. It
'
ll open any door in the hotel, in case of fire or some emergency they have to check every room. The guy use to be a locksmith. So I ask him, '
yAnd how many fire keys do you have?
'
He says, '
yYou understand a fire key would be worth upwards of five grand or more to certain people.
'
I said, '
yYeah, or you might want to give it to somebody who '
s in a position to do you a favor.
'
He says, '
yI thought you had something else in mind. You put the cash in your pocket, I leave with everything else, and she thinks that wad in your jeans is '
cause you love her.
'

Jack smiled, shaking his head. Guy was something. High-class professional burglar, wore a suit and tie
it was like meeting a movie star and you find out the guy talks and acts just like a regular person.

You took the guy
'
s key,
Mario said, and let him go.

Jack held up his hand. I said to him,
'
yFirst, you put everything back.
'
He says, '
yYou could still take the cash and I walk out with a few items.
'
I said, '
yBut then my name '
s in a burglary report, huh? Stuck in a police file they might happen to look at some time in the future. No, I don '
t think so.
'
Buddy goes, '
yYou might do okay, you '
re not dumb. But have you got the balls to walk in a room where you know the people are sleeping?
'

Mario shook his head. Not me, man.

Yeah, but what was funny, the guy
'
s talking about balls while I have his right in my pocket. Still, I never threatened him. Give me the keys or I turn you in. Never, not a word. Later on, the next time I saw him, he said he was impressed I never tried to act tough. It showed class.

Jesus,
Mario said.

And now he
'
s dead.

You want another hit?

No, I
'
m gonna switch.

Jack was at a table now, tired of standing. He looked up to see Leo coming away from the bar and noticed they
'
d turned the lights on. It was raining and looked greenish out on Canal Street, through the big plate-glass window, the sky pale green and everything else dark. Leo stopped and took a sip of the martini so he wouldn '
t spill any of it. His thin hair was pasted to his head, his raincoat soaking wet, his expression, Jack saw, concerned, very serious.

You okay?

Jack thought of saying, Compared to what? But kept it simple and said, I
'
m fine, giving it just a hint of innocent surprise. He felt himself alert, his body floating comfortably while his mind buzzed with words and pictures, wide awake. He said, How '
s Buddy doing?

Buddy
'
s done,
Leo said, ready to receive visitors.
He looked at Jack '
s glass. What '
s that you '
re drinking?

It
'
s a Sazerac.

When
'
d you start drinking Sazeracs?

I think about an hour ago. I don
'
t know
what time is it? It '
s getting dark out.

Half past five,
Leo said. He placed his martini on the table, pulled out a chair and sat down. I
'
m driving over to the Bay. I told Raejeanne I '
d be there for supper.
With his serious expression. You gonna be all right?

I know I
'
m safe here,
Jack said. I go outside I
'
m liable to get run over by a car.

You
'
re going to Carville tomorrow. You won
'
t forget, will you?

I
'
m looking forward to it.

I
'
ll be back by seven. There
'
ll be a rosary for your friend Buddy. Some priest from Kenner, Our Lady of Perpetual Help.

Something he always wanted,
Jack said, a rosary.

Leo said, Oh, I had a call from Sister Teresa Victor at Carville a while ago. There
'
s somebody wants to go with you to pick up the body. You don '
t mind, do you? Have some company?

Jack said, Aw, shit, Leo. You know I can
'
t talk to relatives, they
'
re in that state. You '
re asking me to drive a hundred and fifty miles up and back, my head aching trying to think of words of consolation, Jesus, never smiling. Going to the cemetery '
s different, you don '
t have to say anything. Sometimes they even seem happy. . . . Shit, Leo.

Leo sipped his martini. He said, You through?
and took another sip. The one that
'
s going with you isn '
t a relative, it '
s a sister, a nun, who knew the deceased when she was in Nicaragua and, I think, brought her up here for treatment. I was still prepping your friend while Sister Teresa Victor '
s telling me this on the phone. Then something came up, she had to cut it short.

The one I
'
m picking up is a nun? The dead one?

Look,
Leo said. The deceased is a young Nicaraguan woman, twenty-three years old. I wrote her name down, it
'
s on the counter in the prep room. Also the name of the person that '
s going with you, a Sister Lucy. You got it?

What
'
d she die of?

Whatever it was you can
'
t catch it. Okay? You pick up Sister Lucy at the Holy Family Mission on Camp Street, tomorrow, one o '
clock. It '
s near Julia.

The soup kitchen.

That
'
s the place. She
'
ll be waiting for you.

We run out of conversation we
'
ll say a rosary.

There you are.
Leo finished his martini. You gonna be all right?

I
'
m fine.

You won
'
t forget. One o
'
clock.

No problem.

Wouldn
'
t be a bad idea you stayed in tonight.

You still worried about me?

You see your old pal on the table, the next thing I know you
'
re eighty proof. Who drank the Sazeracs, Buddy or Helene?

Jack smiled, feeling relaxed, wise, confident, in his favorite place to drink at the end of the day; rainy outside and growing dark, ideal conditions. He said, You want me to tell you about Helene, don '
t you? What it was like seeing her again. You '
re dying to know, aren '
t you?

I told you,
Leo said, I was somewhat apprehensive when I heard.

Then you
'
ll be glad to know my heart didn
'
t leap.

How about any other area on your person?

Jack shook his head. The thrill is gone. She
'
s got curly hair now and it makes her look different. Hey, but, Leo?
Jack smiled. Mmmmm, did she smell good. Had on a kind of perfume I know is expensive '
cause I picked up a bottle off a dresser one night in the Peabody Hotel, in Memphis, and gave it to Maureen.