Bare Hearts (3 page)

“I don’t like leaving you like this,” she says with her arm wrapped around my shoulder for comfort.

“Please. I will be okay. I just want to put this flower along the stone and say my final goodbye,” I reassure my aunt.

“Okay, I will be at the house. I think some of the folks will be coming over as well.”

“I appreciate everything you’ve done. But I just want some time to be alone for a little bit,” I say.

“Okay dear. You just take your time.”

I watch as she walks back to her car. I don’t think there is enough time to say goodbye.

Chapter Four

The days have slowly dragged as Monday finally approaches; the day of the funeral. Sleep has pretty much been non-existent since I received the news. The house is too quiet and I feel so alone. At least I get to say goodbye to my dad one last time. I had to rent a suit, since I didn’t own one myself. Selecting a dark suit, I also settle on a short sleeve dress shirt and tie. The suit is tailored to my body. However, I am wearing a pair of my dad’s dress shoes.

Re-enlisting is sounding more and more like a good idea. I have nothing keeping me here now. And I feel a little guilty leaving my fellow brothers behind. But I needed to leave and I was hoping to make amends with my father when I came home. It seemed like we were on the right track. Even though he remained the same; still drinking and medicating himself numb.

The drive to the funeral home is daunting and I dread seeing everyone grieve over my father. It feels like déjà vu from my mother’s funeral. I am thankful he will be buried next to her. Knowing they will be together in the afterlife comforts me the most. He’s in the place where he can love her again, hold her hand, and I hope they watch over me.

Coffee and other refreshments are being served as his peers flood in to pay their respects. Grabbing a coffee, I overhear a few talking about some good times they had with my father. Silently, I’m thankful he had as many friends as he did, since other family members weren’t around much. I just think they didn’t know how to act or what to say after my mother died.

I stand next to the casket as everyone stops by to pay their respects. They stop to shake my hand and offer their deepest sympathy. I don’t like the pity that shows in their eyes.

Finally, service commences and kind words are spoken about my father. His peers even take turns at the podium sharing jokes and stories about him. I learned more about my father just from the stories I heard being shared around. I approach the podium as service is about to come to a close, and a lump catches in my throat.

“I just want to thank everyone for coming to pay their respects. And I want to thank those that shared their stories about my father.” I take a moment to clear my throat and loosen my tie. “My father and I grew apart after my mom died. He didn’t know how to deal with me by himself. I know he is with her now. I only hope he can forgive me for taking off like I did to join the army. I needed an escape and I ran at the first chance I got. I always thought he would be around, and I took him for granted. He would send me letters while I was away. We were just starting to rebuild our relationship when I came home. I will cherish every single memory I have with him. I will cherish the times he used to take me to baseball games, the times he would throw a ball in the yard with me. He was a good father. He just didn’t know how to be one after my mom passed; we didn’t know how to exist. I cherish everyone that has stuck by him in his darkest days. May he rest in peace.” Holding back my tears, I walk away from the podium and a fellow friend of his pats me on the back and gives me a look of understanding.

Everyone starts heading to the burial site, but I decide to drive my own car, even though some of his friends offered to let me ride with them in their limo. I like the solitude, and I can focus on saying goodbye to my dad one last time. My soul feels even emptier than it did before.

Once everyone arrives at the cemetery, a sermon is given and we pay our last respects as the casket starts to lower into the ground. I throw a handful of dirt onto the casket and get several pats on the back as they turn to leave. Being the last one to leave, I kiss my fingers and touch my mom’s stone and silently ask her to watch out for dad.

In the distance, I see another funeral. As most all the folks turn to leave I see a girl being comforted as the others leave her there by herself. I watch as she lies down next to a grave. Me being curious, I make my way over to her.

Chapter Five

Aunt Becca kisses my cheek and gives me a huge hug before she walks to the awaiting car. I keep my distance so the workers can get their job done. Finally, when they finish, I make my way back to the grave. With fresh dirt piled on top, I place the flowers along the stone. Feeling lost and alone, I lay in the grassy spot next to my mom, just so I can feel close to her one last time. I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun enveloping my face and body; it feels calming and relaxing. I lie in the rays and let my memories fill my mind.

Suddenly, a shadow overcasts the sun and I squint my eyes open to see the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on standing over me. And he looks very familiar.

“I take it your mom didn’t make it through the surgery,” he says, shielding his eyes from the sun. Now, I recognize him! He was the man from the Emergency waiting room.

“No she didn’t; she was buried today. How about your dad, did he make it?” I ask, hopeful that a miracle occured.

“No, he was buried today as well,” he says, pointing in the direction of the gravesite. In the distance, I see people starting to leave from where he points.

“I’m sorry,” I say as I stand up brushing the grass and dirt off me.

“Me too,” he points to my mom’s grave while he rocks nervously on his heels.

I’m sure I look like a complete mess, and I am slightly embarrassed that he caught me lying in the grass next to my mom’s grave. He probably thinks I’m a freak. But there is nothing freak about him. He has dark dress pants on and a short sleeve dress shirt and tie. I can see colorful tattoos peeking out of his shirt sleeves, while he holds his suit jacket in his other hand.

His black hair has that messy look on the top while the sides are shorter. His eyes are so light that they match the color of the sky on a bright sunny day like today. He is a tall drink of refreshing water, and I take my time drinking him in. We stand in silence for a little while. Finally, I introduce myself, breaking the silence.

“I’m Lily, by the way.” I offer my hand out to shake. When he grips mine with his, a shockwave shoots through my whole body like lighting, as it did when we first met.

“Parker,” he says, dropping my hand. “This might be so inappropriate, but if you are not doing anything, would you want to get out of here and grab a coffee somewhere?” He hesitantly asks.

Well I am not one to turn down a handsome man asking to go for coffee.

“Yes, I’d love to.”

Wait! Did I just say yes to this gorgeous stranger? Yes I did. Shit!
I can’t help but say yes, his smooth voice is so calming, so I follow him to his car.

“I know a good coffee shop about a mile outside of town. Hop in. I’ll drive,” he says with his seductive voice. I hesitate for a moment, as I am about to get in a car, alone with a stranger. He seems safe enough. He opens the passenger door and I slide in. No going back now. Since the cemetery is on the edge of town, a mile outside of town is not that far; a quick escape is not completely out of the question.

His car is sleek and I know it’s fast, because it’s a Camaro. I was a tomboy growing up and I was into cars. I learned a lot from my Uncle Pete, Aunt Becca’s deceased husband. He was the fatherly figure in my life, since I hadn’t seen my dad since I was eight years old. Unfortunately, my uncle died of a massive heart attack a few years back, and the family hasn’t been the same since. He held the family together like glue.

“I don’t normally frequent coffee shops. But I do like to indulge once in a while,” I say as he continues to drive.

“Well, looks like you will get the pleasure of indulging today,” he beams.

“How can you be in a good mood? Didn’t you just attend your father’s funeral?” I ask.

“I’m sad, but there is nothing I can do about it. It’s a sad situation. I know he wouldn’t want me moping around and being sad. What about you?”

“I’m very heartbroken over my mother’s death. But I don’t think I have any more tears left to cry. And I don’t think she would want me to be like this either,” I tell him.

Parker pulls his Camaro into the coffee shop parking lot. Rushing over to my side he opens the door and guides me inside with his hand on the small of my back. Shockwaves again, and now I’m getting butterflies in my stomach. How can this be? I don’t even know him. We approach the counter to order our coffee, and he insists on paying for both. Of course I don’t object to the offer, I don’t have it in me at this point. Grabbing our coffee and doctoring them up how we like, we take a seat in a booth in the back. The place has a calming ambiance and is a quaint little hole in the wall place.

“Tell me more about your mom,” he says.

“Well, she was a wonderful person. She raised me as a single mom, and she loved to read. She was kind and a great listener, and would never judge you by what you wore or said. She was my best friend.”

“She sounds like an amazing person,” he says. He lifts the coffee cup to his lips and that’s when I notice how luscious they are. Very kissable. Oh, I need to stop thinking these crazy thoughts. It’s so inappropriate. And the timing couldn’t be more off.

“She was. What about yours?” I ask him. I take a sip of my latte, and I lick my lips as the froth resides on them and I have Parker’s full attention.

“Oh right. Mine passed away when I was fifteen; she had cancer.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him sympathetically.

“It’s okay. I went through a rough patch when she died. Started to run with the wrong crowd and my dad started drinking heavily. Luckily, I grew up and got my act together. My dad however, never recovered from her death. Now, he’s with her.” Parker looks up to the sky as he says that. Maybe he finds peace knowing they are together again. I kind of find it romantic.

“What do you do for a living?” I ask, changing the subject.

“I just came home from serving a four year stint in the army. I just got back from Iraq. What about you?”

“I recently graduated college and opened up my own flower shop,” I reply.

“That’s amazing. How did you manage that so quick?”

“By working my ass off; I’ve worked since I was sixteen and I saved every dime I got. And my mom helped a little too.” Not many twenty two year olds own their own shop. And I’m proud of my accomplishments thus far. “So Iraq, huh?”

“Yea, I’m actually home deciding if I want to re-enlist another four years or not. I just haven’t decided. I have nothing keeping me here, now that both my parents are gone,” he says.

I swallow the last drop of the latte. “I think I’ve had enough caffeine. I will be up all night.”

“Me too. Would you like to go somewhere else? Perhaps go for a walk around Tore Park. I’ve been enjoying your company.”

“Sure, sounds good. I need to make a stop at the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back,” I tell him.

I make my way to the ladies’ room. Inside the stall, I try not to hyperventilate. I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Okay, I feel better now, I think. After using the restroom and washing my hands, I make a quick call to my aunt.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m just calling to check in. I’m out with a friend, and I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”

“Okay dear. Thank you for checking in, so I don’t worry,” she says.

After hanging up, I glance in the mirror to freshen up my make-up. Being in close proximity to Parker is doing crazy things to me. I’m not thinking clearly. He could be a serial killer for all I know, and a good looking one at that. After I get myself straightened out, I make my way back over to Parker.

“Ready to go?” He asks.

“Yep, ready when you are,” I reply nervously.

We make our way back out to his Camaro. I can’t help but admire it. He rushes to the passenger door to open it for me, and I thank him as I slide inside. On the way over to the park, we make small talk. I feel comfortable around him; he is easy to talk to and definitely easy on the eyes.

As we approach the railroad tracks to cross over, I see the lights flash, letting us know that the train is approaching, but Parker doesn’t slow down. Instead, he presses the gas pedal, making us go faster, causing me to be alarmed. I hear the train approaching at a fast pace, the horn vibrates throughout the car as its headlights blind me. I squeeze my eyes shut while gripping the door handle. I wait for the impact, waiting and waiting, but it doesn’t come. Relieved my life was spared; my heart is beating rapidly out of my chest. Thanks to him; he almost gets us killed.

He yells with excitement from the thrill. But not me.

“Wasn’t that awesome?” He says with a huge smile and screaming at the top of his lungs. I just turn my face to look at him.

“Take me back to the cemetery now! Are you some kind of adrenaline junkie or something?” I spew out in anger. I really don’t like having my fate held in someone else’s hands. I just want to go home and forget about this day. This guy is fucking nuts.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize….”

“You didn’t realize what?” I ask cutting him off. “You think I would think that is freeing; that we nearly escaped death? Just, please, take me back to the cemetery,” I tell him firmly.

We don’t speak the rest of the way. I don’t even bother looking at him. Finally, we make it to the cemetery in one piece and I haul ass out of his vehicle when he stops by my car. I slam the door shut as I exit.