Barefoot (11 page)

Toni began to wonder if the cross-country would be cancelled altogether. They were pushed closer together and she was acutely aware of the heat of his body, as she found herself pressed close against him. He smelled earthy. Like a horse.

For a wild moment she thought he might kiss her. But he pulled away and frowned instead. ‘Time to get out of here, I think.’

Toni looked at the sea of people between them and the entrance with growing unease. ‘How?’

Cal bent to where the tent joined the ground and pulled back a flap. ‘This way.’ He ducked down under the canvas and she followed him outside into the rain again. With her head down she didn’t see the trap she had walked into until it was too late.

‘Toni!’ Beth, the temporary groom, stood in her way, wearing a jacket emblazoned with the name
Arabella De Carteret
. ‘There you are.’

Toni stopped dead, shocked. Cal stopped too, and turned, the question evident on his face.

‘Did Arabella find you?’ The girl asked innocently.

Toni shook her head. Cal had walked back over and was listening.

‘She’s furious Polestar fell,’ Beth prattled on. ‘Well, you don’t need me to tell you what your mother’s like. Have you got a lift back?’

‘I’ll be fine,’ Toni mumbled, scarlet now. She registered the look of shock on Cal’s face.

‘If you’re sure.’ The girl moved off, leaving them standing there facing each other.

All the easy intimacy between them had vanished in an instant.

‘Arabella De Carteret is your mother?’ He seemed stunned.

Toni nodded miserably.

‘So the real reason you are here today is to cheer on her winners?’ He sounded sarcastic now.

Toni refused to rise to the bait. ‘More like losers today, actually.’

Cal shook his head. ‘It’s like finding out you’re a member of the Royal Family. When exactly were you going to tell me?’

She shrugged, helplessly. ‘I don’t know. When it felt right, I guess.’

He was silent.

She tried to read his face. ‘Does it change things?’ she asked. ‘Between us.’

Cal looked grim. ‘There is no us really, is there? I obviously don’t know you at all.’

He turned and was swallowed up by the crowd, leaving Toni devastated. She retreated into the gap between the tents and stood there with her shoulders hunched against the rain, filled with self-pity. Arabella, as usual, had ruined everything.  She controlled every aspect of her life. What she did, how she rode, who her friends were. And now she had even managed to ruin her relationship with Cal by her very existence.

As a man pushed his way past her, Toni flattened herself against the canvas, becoming aware of the noises around her again. In the distance, the applause and roar of the crowd.  She wiped the rain from her face.

How dare he assume I’m like my mother!

Gradually, Toni began to feel angry instead. She was nothing like Arabella. Nothing at all. And she was going to make that clear to him. She set off decisively, plunging back into the sea of people again.

When she arrived back at the Poplar Farm stall, she was disappointed to see Debs standing there alone, obviously dead on her feet. She looked up warily as Toni approached.

‘How’s it going?’ Toni tried to sound polite.

‘Not too good. The rain hasn’t helped. I know it’s a tough call, but I think they should have cancelled personally.’

‘Has Cal been back?’

Debs shook her head. ‘I thought he was with you.’

‘He was….,’ Toni hesitated.

Understanding flashed across Deb’s face.

‘You’ve had a row?’

‘More of a misunderstanding really.’

‘Well, I can’t pretend I’m sorry.’ Debs didn’t attempt to hide her pleasure. ‘Look. Don’t get me wrong.  You seem like a nice girl.  But I’m going to be upfront with you. The farm is struggling to make ends meet, and right now we need Cal helping out.’

The message was clear. Her son didn’t need any distractions.

Toni turned and walked away, trying to look as dignified as possible. Her phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket and read the one-word text from Lauren.

‘Well??????????’

Toni thrust it deep into her pocket again. Lauren’s pocket, in fact, she realised. She would have to get her jacket back to her. But not today. She was too ashamed to tell her friend what had happened.

Cal didn’t want her. His family didn’t want her either.

And now she had to work out how she was going to get back home. She took her phone out of her pocket again and debated whether to call Lauren. But it felt too humiliating.

V Then she realised both Arabella’s horses had been eliminated, meaning the lorry would be returning to the yard that night. If she hurried she might be able to hitch a ride with Jen.  Toni set off at a half-jog in the direction of the competitors’ area.

Jen welcomed her without question and Toni retreated into the back of the lorry to dry off, while they waited for the vet to check over Polestar’s injury and declare him fit for travel. There was a backlog of cases needing his attention, though, and it was nearly dusk by the time they had the all clear, and both horses had their legs bandaged.

Toni stayed huddled in the back of the lorry, so she didn’t have to chat to the two girls in the front. Chilled through from the rain and rigid with nerves, she couldn’t believe she had put down the phone on Arabella like that.

Remembering Nola and Gramps, she groaned. It wasn’t just Arabella she had deserted. It was her grandparents, too. And it had all been for nothing in the end. She chewed her fingers nervously and tried not to imagine what sort of reception she was going to get.

It was dark when they pulled into the yard and for a wild moment she fantasised her mother wouldn’t be there, that she would have taken Gramps and Nola out for a meal, allowing Toni to sneak into the house and avoid the inevitable confrontation.

No chance.

Arabella liked a fight. She always had. She materialised out of the dark as soon as Jen turned off the engine. As Toni jumped down the steep steps to the ground, she found her legs were shaking.

Her mother stood there, with her arms folded. ‘So you decided to crawl back home.’

Toni’s stomach clenched. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled.

‘Oh, you’re sorry!’ Arabella spat. ‘Sorry. And do you think that’s enough?’

Toni felt utterly defeated. ‘I don’t know what else I can do.’

‘You completely embarrassed me in front of your grandparents,’ Arabella hissed, her face close to her daughter’s now.

Of course that was it. Not that she’d been worrying whether Toni was OK.

Jen had dropped the ramp and was leading the injured mare out, letting her take her time. She avoided looking at either Toni or Arabella.

‘The lorry needs mucking out and the tack putting away,’ Arabella barked.

‘I’m on it,’ Jen replied defensively. After all these years she didn’t need telling her job.

‘Not you. I meant Antonia.’

Jen looked from mother to daughter and seemed about to argue, then obviously thought better of it. She led the mare on into her stable instead.

Toni picked up a poo scoop and walked up the ramp, trying to figure out a way of doing it one-handed. She wedged her foot behind the scoop, trying to keep it still enough to rake the poo in. But it was no use. It kept slipping. She tried again and again, managing by flicking in a little at a time. Her mother stood watching, impassively.

Eventually the scoop was full, but then lifting it sent a pain shooting through her ribs. She paused and leant against the side of the lorry, to take a breath and ride the pain, while her mother still watched.

‘Here. I’ll take that.’ Jen came up the ramp and took the scoop from Toni.

‘It’s OK. I can manage,’ Toni protested quickly.

‘No, you can’t,’ Jen replied.

‘I asked Antonia to do it.’ Arabella’s voice was like steel. ‘If she says she can manage, she can.’

Jen turned to face her. ‘Well, she shouldn’t have to. You can see she’s in pain.’

Arabella’s eyes glinted in the half-shadow cast by the yard light.

‘Shit.’ Jen was appalled. ‘You actually want her to suffer, don’t you?’ She strode back down the ramp to empty the scoop into a wheelbarrow.

‘If I were you I’d put that down,’ Arabella warned, with menace in her voice now.

‘It’s my job and I’ll do it.’ Jen completely ignored her, and began to scrape more poo out of the back of the lorry.

‘It’s your call,’ Arabella snarled, ‘but let’s just be clear. As of now, you no longer work for me.’ She turned and limped heavily away.

‘That suits me just fine,’ Jen shouted after her. ‘Sadistic bitch,’ she muttered under her breath.

Toni couldn’t believe what had just happened. ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ she said miserably.

‘Yes I did,’ Jen replied. ‘She crossed a line. Somebody needs to take a stand.’

Twice in one day, Toni thought bleakly. Arabella was certain to get her own back somehow. She watched Jen clean every inch of the lorry until it was immaculate. ‘Why bother? She’s already sacked you.’

‘I’m not having her going around telling people I didn’t do my job.’

Toni helped as much as she could, carrying in what tack she could manage, then crept into the house. The kitchen was in darkness. She stood there cautiously and listened. She could hear the sound of the TV in the sitting room. Nola and Gramps almost certainly. Her father was still away and there was a light under the door in Arabella’s study.

Ben pushed his nose into her hand, making her jump, and she wondered if anyone had remembered to feed him. She tiptoed to the larder and dropped a handful of dog-food into his bowl anyway, offering some to Lily as well, but the old dog turned her head away. Toni reached for the cereal box for herself, but found it as empty as she felt.

*************

She woke up the next morning and lay there wishing she didn’t have to get up at all. In the yard she found a subdued Jen, loading the boot of her old white Fiesta. A large pile of miscellaneous tack was next to her, along with several tubs, filled with bits and pieces. She looked up as Toni approached. ‘Amazing how much crap I’ve got.’

‘You’re really going?’ Toni felt miserable. ‘It’s all my fault.’

Jen shook her head. ‘Don’t sweat about it. It was time for a change anyway. I’ve been here too long.’

Toni didn’t know whether to believe her or not. ‘What will you do?’

‘I’ll manage. People are always looking for good grooms.’ She paused. ‘I’ll miss the horses, though. Particularly Grace.’ She finished loading and stood up. ‘And you’ll have to find someone else to take you to see your boyfriend.’

Toni shook her head. ‘I don’t think he’s going to want to see me again after yesterday. Not now he knows I’m a De Carteret.’

‘You never know what life will turn up.’  Jen opened the back door of the car and whistled to Dizzy, who hurtled over and jumped in. Toni wondered whether it would be OK to hug her, but Jen was already getting into the driving seat.