Bargaining With a Rake (A Whisper of Scandal Novel) (26 page)

She stopped in front of him, chest
heaving from her running. “How did you find me?”

He reached toward her and touched a
lock of her silky hair. So smooth, just like Allysia’s had been. “You can’t
hide from me, even with Lionhurst protecting you.”

Caprice pulled back from him, eyes
narrowed, chin raised in defiance. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Anger flooded Harrison. How dare
Caprice give his enemy loyalty? The tide of fury would drown him if he did not
find release. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, bringing Caprice to her knees
where she belonged. Fear blossomed in her eyes. It wouldn’t take much for her
to betray Lionhurst. He pushed her delicate pinkie back until it touched the
back of her hand and a scream ripped from her lips. Smiling, he released her finger
and cupped her chin. “Do you know what I mean now?”

She nodded, tears streaming down her
face.

“Excellent. You can tell me
everything upstairs.” He scooped her into his arms and carried her up the
stairs to the first bedroom he came upon. Laying her gently on the bed, he came
down beside her, rubbing away the tears on her cheeks. When she quieted, he
kissed first her lips, then her neck. She didn’t respond, but she would. Soon,
she would.

He undid her dress and pushed it off
her shoulders to bare her glistening skin. She was lovely. Not as lovely as
Allysia or Lady Gillian, but lovely. “Tell me why Lionhurst helped you, and I
promise I’ll be gentle from this moment forward.” He could see her gaze
flickering and wavering as she tried to decide what to do.

She needed more prodding. Quite a
shame. He picked up her hand, and she winced, a hiss of breath escaping from
between her clenched teeth. “I’d hate to break another one of your delicate
fingers,” he said.

“No need,” she replied, cradling her
hand protectively.

He lay back and brought her into the
crook of his arm to cuddle her as she spoke. When she finished, he smiled, ripe
with the knowledge of just how to destroy the man he hated.

One more moment of
watching Sutherland court Gillian, and Alex might very well go insane. Had it
only been two weeks since he had agreed to this ludicrous bargain? It felt like
forever. Two blankets over, Sutherland sat in the shade of an oak tree. Gillian
sat opposite of Alex’s partner under the brilliant blue sky that matched her
dress. Sutherland reached into the picnic basket, procured a bottle of wine and
poured Gillian a glass, which he handed to her, taking his bloody time letting
go of her hand.

Alex groaned. He
wanted to look away, but he had to see Gillian’s reaction. She smiled, brushed
a discreet finger—one would only notice if staring as Alex was—over
Sutherland’s hand, and then she brought the glass of wine to her lips.

Her pink tongue darted out to lick
her lips before she took a long swallow of the wine. She lowered the glass, her
dark lashes rising as her gaze met Sutherland’s. Something she said caused
Sutherland to laugh. Alex hated his partner. That was not going to be good for
their working relationship. He had to get over this jealousy. It was eating at
him, just as it had the day Robert had stolen Lady Staunton. Where was the
resolve that had carried him through the almost five years since Robert’s
death?

Thou shall not covet
. He’d rebuilt his life on this
command and had promised until his dying day to try to make amends.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and
Gillian’s face filled his mind. His wanting her had everything to do with her
and nothing to do with trying to best Sutherland. It was completely different
from what had happened years before between Lady Staunton, Robert and himself,
yet it was still wrong.

He breathed deeply. Was he no better
now? He clenched his teeth together and opened his eyes to find Sally standing
over him. She gazed down at him with a furrowed brow. “May I sit?”

“By all means.” He straightened the
blanket for her.

Sally lowered herself and faced him. “Darling,
do you mind if I speak frankly?”

“If I did, would it stop you?”

“Probably not.” Sally gave him a
cheeky smile. “I’ve known you too long to mince words.”

“I suppose that’s true. What do you
want to say?”

“Don’t you think you’ve punished
yourself for what happened between you, Robert and the witch long enough?”

“I assume the witch is Lady
Staunton?”

“Don’t be obtuse.” Sally frowned at
him. “You know it is.”

“Then no. I’ve not punished myself
long enough.”

“Darling.” Sally grabbed his hand and
squeezed. “I’m going to tell you something you won’t want to hear.”

“Then don’t say it.” He was not in
the mood for one of Sally’s well-meaning attempts to get him to forgive himself
and forget the past.

“I wish it were that simple. I’d
hoped you’d eventually snap out of this, but it’s almost been five years.”

“I don’t want to talk about Robert,”
he snapped.

“I know. But Peter, Cameron, Dansby
and I discussed it, and we decided there are some things that must be said.”

He stared at her astonished. “You
four sat around and discussed my personal life?”

“We love you, Alex.”

“Don’t do that,” he said, squeezing
her hand back. Her eyes were filling with tears. “If you’re the appointed
messenger, I promise to be good and listen. Just don’t cry.”

Sally nodded and swiped at her eyes.
He expected her to start with a lecture on how he was really a good person. How
everyone makes mistakes. How he’d grown. How he had been under Lady Staunton’s
spell. He’d heard it all before. He leaned back on his elbows and crossed his
legs. “Well?”

“It’s like this, darling. Robert was
mean, jealous and impulsive to a fault.”

Alex gaped. Of all the things he had
been expecting, an attack on his brother had not been one of them. “You’re
wrong.”

But as he denied what she said, he
thought of the countless women he had been interested in that Robert had taken
from him. The horse races Robert had cheated at to win. Robert cheating in
school to get better grades than Alex. Robert drinking all the liquor in their
father’s study and blaming it on Alex. He had taken the blame and the
disapproval from their father because he had loved Robert. He had worshipped
his older brother. “I slept with his fiancée. I drove him to kill himself,” he
said. He would not take the easy way out.

Sally pursed her lips at him. “Yes,
you slept with his fiancée after he stole her from you by dangling his title in
front of her greedy little eyes. But, darling, I swear none of us believe
Robert was driven to kill himself.”

“He shot himself in the heart,” Alex said
drily.

“He loved himself too much, darling.
He was impulsive and reckless. I don’t think he meant to kill himself. I think
he meant to make you feel horrid for the rest of your life by wounding himself,
but for once he fired too true.”

Robert had never possessed good aim
with a gun. But that didn’t change what had driven him to such drastic
measures. “He shot himself because of me,” Alex said stubbornly.

“Wake up,” Sally demanded. “He shot
himself to get back at you. He was jealous of you. Everyone knew it. Robert had
the title, but, darling, you always had the brains, the looks and the
personality that drew everyone to you. Robert couldn’t stand it, and that’s why
he was so horrid to you. That’s why he always used his title to snatch away the
women you were interested in. And you―” She rolled her eyes. “Such a
typical man. You always chose women who
could
be taken. All fluff no
substance.
Gillian
has substance. Don’t let her get away.”

With a sublime effort, he controlled
his surprise at Sally’s words. “I don’t know what you mean. I have a bargain to
help Lady Gillian and nothing more.”

Sally shook her head. “You’re lying
and you know it. You’ve come to care for her. I see it in your eyes.
We all
do
. You’re afraid. If you let yourself be happy, you can no longer punish
yourself. You’ve done your penance.”

Havoc reigned in his head. Was Sally
right? No. He had vowed to atone forever. He could not take the easy way out.
Besides, the lady did not want him. “She wants Sutherland,” he denied.

Sally waved a hand at him. “She wants
to escape London; I just wish I really knew why. I believe she really wants
you. I’ve seen her watching you when you’re not paying attention.”

He immediately glanced across the
space to where Gillian sat with Sutherland. Their heads were close together, as
future lovers’ would be. He pushed away his desire for her. “Whatever her
reasons, she has chosen Sutherland, and she’s made the right choice.”

“You’re wrong. I know you’re afraid.
I know you don’t want to quit punishing yourself, but what if she truly does
not want to marry Sutherland? What if she’s in love with you?”

Alex jerked his gaze away from his
wineglass toward Gillian. Their eyes met a moment before she jumped up and
walked away from the picnic and toward the stream. His heart thudded against
his ribs.

“Go now, while everyone is
preoccupied and talk to her. Take a chance, Alex, before it’s truly too late.”

Alex glanced around the group. Sally
was right―everyone’s attention was elsewhere. Sutherland was now deep in
conversation with Lady Whitney, and Cameron appeared to be regaling Peter and
Dansby with some story. Alex jumped up and brushed a few pieces of grass off
his breeches. “I’ll just go see if she is feeling all right.”

Sally raised her eyebrows. “Whatever
you have to tell yourself to make yourself go, then by all means, do so,
darling. Just go.”

Was Sally right? Had Gillian fallen
in love with him? Was it possible he could forgive himself and claim some
happiness? He was not sure, but he knew he wanted to be certain she was doing
what she really wanted. He strode across the grassy knoll and paused just as he
neared her. If she left tomorrow and he never saw her again, this moment would
be forever in his head, putting him to sleep every night. Her face was raised to
the sky, her black hair flowing down her back and a smile on her face.

Driven by a desire just to be near
her, he moved toward her, his boot crushing a twig with a loud snap.

Her eyes flew open as she whirled to
face him. “I thought I was alone.”

“I saw you leave the picnic. Is
everything satisfactory with you and Sutherland?”

“Of course.” She sank onto a log and
looked out at the stream. “He’s a very nice man.”

“A nice man?” Alex sat on the log
beside her, their legs brushing against each other. Hope he had no right to
feel filled his chest, yet he could not quash it. “That’s a bland way to
describe the man you mean to marry.”

“Is it?” She turned to look at him, a
cynical smile on her lips. “I suppose it is. Don’t mind me. I’m melancholy
about leaving the only home I’ve ever known. I didn’t think I would be.”

The moisture in her eyes undid his
resolve to remain detached.

He grabbed her hand and pressed it to
his chest. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t know what he could offer her, but
he couldn’t just let her go. “Don’t go.”

Her eyes rounded. “What? Whatever do
you mean?”

What did he mean
? Could he make the plunge back into
life? Before he could respond, her sister ran up to them.

“Gillie! I’ve been looking everywhere
for you. Drake’s proposed a horse race, and I knew you wouldn’t want to miss
it.”

Gillian extracted her hand from his,
giving him a curiously sad look as she rose. “My future husband beckons,” she
said brightly.

He watched her walk away until he
could see her no more. If he’d had a chance, it was lost. So be it. This was
for the best. Now he had to put the ridiculous notions Sally planted in his
head out of his mind.

Even though two weeks had passed
since that afternoon when Alex had grabbed her hand by the stream, Gillian could
not forget the way his heart had hammered beneath her fingertips. Had he been
worried for her or upset? She rubbed her aching temples. She would never know,
and she simply had to quit rehashing their short conversation. Her head nor her
heart could take it.

He had had his chance to declare
himself, and he had met her question with silence. Thank goodness. She was
worried she might not have had the strength to deny her heart and do what had
to be done. She’d fallen in love with the wrong man.

She sighed as she passed through the
entrance of the Primwitty house and tried to drum up some excitement for dinner
with the man she intended to marry. Instead, she yawned.

“Darling, I saw that,” Sally chided,
gliding toward Gillian as if the frenzy of party rounds the last month had not
tired the duchess one bit.

Gillian smiled and grabbed Sally’s
outstretched hand. “I’m exhausted. I’ve not laid my head on my pillow before
two in the morning in an entire month.”

“Don’t you sleep in?”

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping
lately.”

“Thinking about your love?”

That was just the problem. She’d been
thinking about Alex when she should have been thinking about Drake. She
frowned.

Sally leaned in until their heads
almost touched. “Perk up. He’s already here. Looking quite handsome, I might
add.”

“Who?” She scanned the outer corridor
for Alex.

“What an odd question, darling.” Sally
gave Gillian a funny look. “Drake, of course. Your future husband.”

Gillian nodded. “Of course. I’m just
so tired.”
And preoccupied with another man. Blast him
. There had not
been one night in the last seven he had not arrived at the ball, or dinner
party, or opera without a beautiful woman on his arm. A different woman every
single night. She dreaded who he might bring tonight.

Sally tapped her arm. “Have you heard
a word I’ve said?”

“I’m sorry.” Gillian shook her head. “I
was daydreaming. It must be the lack of sleep.” Or the fact that Alex had her
heart in his fist. Blast him again and blast Drake. An entire month of
countless kisses and the greatest desire Drake inspired when he held her in his
arms was the longing for it to be over. She liked him, but she did not desire
him. And she did not think love would come without desire.

Sally poked Gillian in the arm.

“Am I doing it again?”

“Darling, you are going to make me
wonder if I have become a bore unless you start listening to me.”

“You could not ever be called a bore.
It’s me, truly it is. What did you say, Sally?”

“I said, I think Drake is going to
offer marriage to you tonight.” Sally studied her with narrow eyes then waved
her toward the settee. “Isn’t that wonderful? He plans to leave in a week to go
back to America, and you and Whitney can go with him. It will all be settled. Your
plan has worked out perfectly. It makes me feel so sad.”

Gillian felt queasy. “Might I have a
refreshment, Sally? I feel rather light-headed.”

“What would you like?” Sally waved a
servant over. “Tea?”

“Claret, please.”

A small smile curled Sally’s lips. “Jonsey,
bring Lady Gillian some claret. Oh, and I’ll take a glass too.”

She settled back into the settee and
tugged on Gillian’s arm until they both leaned far into the cushions. “Now, be
a good little girl and tell me what’s going on while it’s just the two of us. Your
aunt and sister will be back from the gardens any moment, and the men are
likely to burst in from whatever mischief they’re up to at any time.”

Gillian took a breath to speak, but
Sally cleared her throat, indicating that the servant was present. Gillian took
her drink and started with a few tentative sips. The warm liquor slid down her
throat and pooled in her belly, loosening some of the knots on contact. That
was nice. She didn’t usually drink, but tonight she would make an exception. Tilting
the glass up, she gulped the wine in four swallows.

Sally took the empty glass out of
Gillian’s hands and set it down on a side table next to her full, untouched
glass. Sally waved Jonsey away when he appeared before them with another glass
for Gillian. She was inclined to reach for it, but her head already hummed quite
nicely, and she was afraid one more glass might turn the nice hum into a noisy
chorus.

“Darling, you don’t love Mr.
Sutherland, do you?”

Gillian grimaced. “Dear God, is it
that obvious?”

The front door slammed and a booming
male voice carried down the hall. A masculine voice. A soothing voice. Alex’s
voice. Gillian smiled. And then a woman’s shrill, grating laughter joined
Alex’s rich baritone. He had brought another woman. Gillian frowned, then
caught Sally looking at her with a grin.

“I believe Alex is here,” Gillian
murmured.

“Yes. I think you’re right,” Sally
replied, continuing to stare.

Gillian fidgeted under the Duchess’ probing
gaze. “Darling, I’d like to tell you a story.” Sally eyed the hallway with a
frown. “It will have to be the abbreviated version.”

Gillian nodded.

Sally pressed close to her. “Once
there were two young men named Alex and Robert.”

Gillian’s gaze went immediately to
where she had heard Alex’s voice.

“That’s right, darling, I mean Alex
and his brother. Robert had the title, but Alex had everything else that Robert
longed for. Do you know what I mean?”

“I can imagine,” Gillian murmured,
thinking of Alex’s smile, his wit, his dancing eyes and magnetic presence.

Sally eyed her knowingly. “I’m sure
you can. Robert was never nice. Even as a child he was greedy and jealous, but
Alex worshipped Robert as younger brothers are wont to do. He forgave Robert
every slight and overlooked all his flaws. Until one day, because Alex is
human, he snapped. And decided to fight back.”

“What did he do?”

Sally’s eyes darted to the hall, and
then back to Gillian. “He was having a rather steamy affair with Lady
Staunton―of course then she was unmarried and was Lady Granton. She
chased Alex until he gave her his attention. I can attest to that.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Gillian replied,
her stomach turning with jealousy that the woman had experienced an intimacy
with Alex that Gillian had spent the last month dreaming about.

“As soon as she had Alex embroiled in
her web, Robert came after her.”

“Because she wanted Alex?”

“Of course,” Sally said. “She later
bragged, though, about using Alex to capture Robert. She knew exactly what she
was doing. We all had witnessed for years how Robert wanted to take everything
away from Alex. Belittle him, if you will.”

“His brother took Lady Staunton?”

“In more ways than one,” Sally said
with a cynical smile. “He offered her marriage―the only thing that would
induce her to leave Alex, and of course she accepted. I think she must have
fallen in love with Alex, though she loved the idea of being a duchess more. I
don’t know the exact details, but she ended up back in Alex’s arms the very
night she became betrothed to Robert. Robert found them―how shall I say
this delicately?―naked as the day they were born.”

Gillian clutched at the material of
her dress. She should tell Sally to cease the story, but she wanted to know the
rest. She needed to understand what was driving Alex. “Did Alex tell you this?”

“Don’t be absurd. The man is as
communicative as a dead fish. One night when he was rather sloppily filled with
whiskey, mead and I do believe whatever else he could find, he told Peter, and
Peter told me. Alex doesn’t remember the night whatsoever. So you see, Alex is
like he is because he was once human. He feels guilty for sleeping with his
brother’s betrothed even though his brother stole the wretched woman from
Alex.”

“What happened to Robert? Alex said
he drove his brother to his death.”

“Of course not, darling, but if he
doesn’t blame himself, he would have to face who Robert really was. Then Alex
would have to do the hard thing and take chances on life and love once more. As
for Robert, he shot himself. But not one of us believes he ever meant to actually
kill himself. Just wound himself to wound Alex.”

“How terrible,” Gillian whispered as
she stood and went to the door where she might have a better view of the
hallway. Sally came next to her just as Alex appeared, swaggering down the hall
with a tall woman clinging to his arm. Her long, silky black hair swayed as she
walked, and Gillian had the urge to go up to the woman and yank a chunk out of
her head.

“He’s punishing himself for what he
did.” It made perfect sense to her. She wished it did not. She loved him even
more now. Gillian moaned, retreating into the room, trying to prepare herself
to greet the man she loved with a woman who had his undivided attention. “I had
such a perfect plan.”

Sally patted Gillian’s hand. “Perfection
is overrated. Alex would keep you in England with me if you were to marry.”

That was exactly
what she didn’t need, but he was everything she wanted. Her head was a disaster
and so was her life.