Battered Not Broken (25 page)

He thrust to her rhythm as he came, tendons standing out on either side of his neck. His parted lips looked sensual despite the cracks that split them and his eyelashes rested against the faintly shadowed circles beneath his closed eyes. She kept hers open, memorizing the moment and the nuances of his expression, the way he looked when he lost himself inside her.

When he was still she stopped her rocking and rose, freeing his cock from her body and sinking onto the mattress beside him.

He lay motionless for a few moments before rising to sit, bracing himself with the heel of one palm planted on top of the comforter. “God, Ally…”

A handful of butterflies burst into short-lived flight inside her stomach as the rasp of his voice caressed her senses. He sounded tired, but there was unmistakable passion in his voice. “Yeah?”

“That was good.” He rose, rolling his shoulders as if to loosen them.

“How do you feel?”

“The pain’s not that bad, but I can still feel the pressure behind my skull and see silver lights. I’m going to go to sleep while I’m still feeling good. Unless that will bother you?”

“No,” she said, rising and hurrying to assure him. “It’s late anyway. You should get some rest. We still have tomorrow morning.” She knew how to execute a myriad of takedowns – sweeps, throws and scissors. If he tried to do anything besides go to bed, she’d use one of them on him and then hold him captive until he fell asleep. Somehow.

“Okay. You’re still staying the night, right?” He reached out to brush her cheek with his knuckles, the tip of one finger tickling the corner of her mouth.

“Yes.” Her heart did a funny little flip-flop movement at the thought of spending the entire night with him, not having sex until the wee hours of the morning, but actually sleeping. Sleeping away his pain – hopefully – and what was left of the night. Somehow, the idea seemed even more intimate than what they’d just done.

“Good.”

He pulled a pair of boxer briefs from a dresser drawer and put them on before leaving the room, presumably to get ready for bed.

She followed him out of the room and retrieved her oversized purse from the couch. Inside she’d packed things like a toothbrush, a hair elastic and a fresh pair of panties – the bare essentials she’d need to stay the night.

When he emerged from the bathroom with his breath smelling minty, she went in with her toiletries. A few minutes later she was ready for bed, her teeth freshly brushed and her hair tucked up into a knot to keep her waves from being rubbed into a frizzy mess as she slept. Well, she was
almost
ready.

“Could I borrow a t-shirt?” she asked as she stepped back into the bedroom. All she had on was the clean pair of cotton hot short panties she’d packed, and she was most comfortable when sleeping in something light rather than nude or in heavy pajamas.

Ryan eyed her from where he’d already climbed onto the bed, his blue eyes gleaming as he let his gaze sweep over her body. “I would say no, if the idea of you wearing one of my shirts didn’t turn me on even more than you being topless for some reason. They’re in the drawer with the condoms.” He tipped his head toward the dresser, still eyeing her breasts.

She opened the drawer for the second time that day and lifted one of the neatly-folded t-shirts from its depths. As she held the bundle up and let the careful folds unfurl, she studied the faint creases left by Ryan’s handiwork. How could someone who paid such careful attention to such small details overlook something as huge as the danger he was placing himself in by continuing to fight competitively?

She pulled the t-shirt to her chest, letting the soft cotton that had at some point hugged Ryan’s body caress her breasts. That was something she could resume worrying about the next day. For now, she’d do her best to make sure he spent the night resting.

She slipped the t-shirt on over her head, inhaling the faint aroma of laundry soap. She thought she could still smell faded traces of Ryan’s scent clinging to the fabric too, but maybe that was just her imagination. Either way, the garment would definitely smell like him by morning.

He was still staring directly at her, his eyes blazing an intense shade of blue as he reclined on the bed when she looked up again.

“Want me to shut off the light?” The switch was on the other side of the room, near the door.

“Yeah.”

When the lights were out, she slowly made her way to the bed. The last thing Ryan needed was for her to trip over it and collide with his already busted-up face.

When her thigh bumped the edge of the mattress, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her into bed.

Once there, she slipped beneath the blankets and settled against him with surprising ease. She’d never literally spent the night with a man before, sharing a bed and sleep. She’d never trusted anyone enough to do so.

In a couple past relationships, she’d tried sex hoping it would prove to be a gateway to true intimacy and actually being able to feel completely comfortable around her partner. It hadn’t really worked – a fact she was intensely aware of as Ryan embraced her.

This was different. As she lay with him in the dark, the only concern she felt was for him. She knew she’d be safe as she closed her eyes, his arm wrapped around her body, resting across her heart.

Chapter 14

It was still dark when Ally woke up in Ryan’s apartment for the second time. It didn’t take her long to realize where she was – the heat of his body next to hers had never really let her forget that she was beside him in bed. The pressure of his body against hers had changed, though. The subtle, comfortable weight of his relaxed muscles against her back had turned to a distinct hardness. The tenseness in his body made it feel like she was resting against a brick wall.

He jerked against her, a brief ripple of violent motion passing through his body.

She turned to face him, surrendering what had been a comfortable pose when she’d fallen asleep. There was a little illumination from a streetlight drifting in from around the edges of the blinds and curtains. She’d been in the dark long enough that it was sufficient to allow her to make out the outline of his body. Carefully, she reached for him and brushed a couple fingertips across his forehead, letting them sweep into his hair.

His brow was damp with sweat. As she let her touch linger, another tremor struck him, causing him to shake beside her. A blast of breath escaped his mouth and rushed against the inside of her wrist. “Ryan?”

Whenever she woke up in a sweat, it was almost always because she’d just emerged from a nightmare. Knowing well what it felt like, it was impossible to stomach the notion of leaving Ryan trapped inside one of his own. “Ryan?” She swept her hand over his cheek, careful to avoid his lips as she let her fingers settle on his shoulder.

He stirred the third time she said his name. Before she could call it again, he jerked, rolling out from under her hand and half rising, sucking in a loud breath.

“It’s just me,” she said, looking up at the shadowy outline of him propped on one elbow, shaking his head from side to side. He was still tense, as if she’d startled him. Maybe she shouldn’t have touched him.

“Sorry,” he breathed, more a sigh than a word. “Nightmare.”

“I woke up and you were sweating and shaking. I thought you were having one.”

“Sorry,” he repeated, the same tension that plagued his muscles evident in his voice.

“It’s okay. I get them too sometimes, so I didn’t want to let you suffer through it. I hope you don’t mind that I woke you up.”

“No. Thanks. I’m going to get a glass of water.” He rolled out from under the blankets, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. A moment later, he sucked in a breath as if he’d been hurt and ran a hand down the length of his thigh. For a moment, he worked the muscles in a rough massage. Then he rose, took a stiff first few steps and eventually fell into a smoother approximation of his usual gait, exiting the room and leaving her alone in the bed.

The mattress was only a full sized one, but she hadn’t felt crowded while sharing it with him. With him gone, it felt too large and empty.

He returned within a few minutes, striding silently into the room and passing in front of the faintly glowing curtains as he returned to the bed.

When he climbed under the blankets, he settled so that his front faced her back. His fingers curled perfectly around her upper arm when he laid his hand there to rest.

She didn’t ask him what his nightmare had been about. That was the sort of question people who’d never dreamed of anything worse than demons, movie monsters and imagined tragedies asked. The worst nightmares were the ones that reflected the actual past or twisted it and presented it in new, equally horrifying ways. His dream had probably been that kind. A lot of war veterans had those dreams, didn’t they?

* * * * *

“You would’ve been better off without that shirt.” Ryan’s breath tickled Ally’s ear as he embraced her from behind, drawing her close against his body.

She laughed involuntarily as the hot air sent a few strands of her hair dancing and made her neck tingle. “Why?” She’d only opened her eyes a couple minutes ago, but the feel of his body pressing against hers was an instant wake-up call.

“Because I can’t let you out of this bed with it on.” He slipped a hand beneath the hem of the t-shirt she’d borrowed the night before, letting his fingers skim her belly before he cradled a breast.

Her nipple tingled against his palm as her body came fully awake beneath his touch. Suddenly, she wanted to stretch, to move and to let herself get tangled up in him. It was Saturday morning and she had nothing planned for the day other than spending it with him – no work, no fights. There was no reason why they couldn’t linger in bed for a while. “You can have it back,” she said. “I only wanted it for the night.”

She sat up, letting the blankets slide from her shoulders and pool around her waist. In one easy movement, she pulled the loose-fitting shirt over her head. It had been made to conform to a man’s muscled frame, not her smaller body. It had draped comfortably over her curves, but his hand against her breast felt nicer than the cotton had.

“What about these – can I have them too?” He hooked a thumb beneath the waistband of her panties.

The teasing tone in his voice erased the remnants of tension that had lingered in her system overnight. There hadn’t been any way of knowing if his migraine would really pass by morning. She’d been prepared to spend the day with him no matter what, but the prospect of leaving the pain and nightmares behind with the night was definitely the preferred scenario.

Well, most of the pain. There was still the damage that had been done to his face.

He dipped his hand lower into her panties, not waiting for an answer. As she leaned back against his chest, he found her clit and stroked it with his fingertips, a wordless extension of his question.

“You can borrow them.”

He helped her slip out of the panties.

When they were gone, she was as bare as she’d been the night before. Waking up beside a man who made her heart race and being only a couple quick tugs away from nudity was an experience that made the sunlight drifting through the curtained window seem brighter.

He removed the boxer briefs he’d worn to bed, revealing an erection that rivaled the one he’d had the night before. Naked, he reached for her as if he intended to stroke her cheek. Instead, he reached above, looping a finger through the elastic band that secured the topknot she’d put her hair into. With surprising gentleness, he freed her hair.

It tumbled over her shoulders and she didn’t have to see it to know that it was buoyantly wavy. Her hair was always extra-voluminous when she first freed it from its overnight bindings.