BDB 13 The Shadows (68 page)

Taking off his jacket, he paced around.

His conscience was not at peace. Not at all. To have found his tribe, only to have them go to war for him and his brother? That was too much to live with. Yeah, sure, the Brothers were all big boys, and specially trained, and armored up the ass—and they had the
symphaths
backing them.

But people were going to die.

That was the nature of weaponized conflict.

Whatever the other solution was, he had to find it. Fast—

“iAm?”

As
maichen’s
voice registered, he wheeled around. “Oh, God, you’re here.”

Without giving the poor female so much as a hi-how’re-ya, he went over and dragged her against him, holding her hard. Even through all the robing, he felt her body, her warmth, her soul, and he drank that in, taking from it the energy he needed.

Pulling back, he removed her hood and clasped her head, bringing her in for a kiss. “Thank God.”

“iAm, what has happened?”

He took her hands urgently. “I need you to listen to me, and listen to me carefully. I want to take you somewhere safe.”

“iAm, I can’t go with you.”

“The Territory is not safe.”

She stilled. Frowned. “Whate’er do you speak of?”

Fucking hell, the last thing he needed was the reality that if he didn’t take care of the no-win situation with the Queen properly,
maichen
was likely to get injured or killed: Nobody was going to be spared if there was a war with the s’Hisbe—and after talking to Wrath and Rehv, he knew both of those leaders were prepared to attack the Shadows where they lived.

At midnight tomorrow.

“Things are happening at very high levels. The palace isn’t going to be secure enough—”

“Are we to be attacked? By whom?”

“I don’t want to go into it.”

She stepped back sharply. “What is wrong.”

At that moment, a figure came in from the hallway, a massive figure robed in black.

“Well, well, this is a surprise,” s’Ex drawled.
“Princess.”

After a moment of confusion, iAm glanced over his shoulder at the open slider, wondering if a fourth person had entered the condo. Considering the way the drama had been running lately? Yeah, the Queen’s daughter absolutely could have shown up here for no good reason.

Things were
that
out-of-control.

“Have you not properly introduced yourself yet?” s’Ex said. “Would you like me to do the honors, Your Serene Highness?”

As iAm shook his head, he decided maybe there was another explanation: s’Ex had clearly lost his ever-fucking mind. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You mean she hasn’t told you?”

iAm looked back at
maichen
. “Told me what? She is a maid who took care of me.”

“She is your brother’s betrothed.” The Queen’s executioner came further into the room, stalking them both. “And under palace law, I am now required to kill you, because you’ve seen her face.” The male leaned in and dropped his voice to a stage whisper. “Although I’m thinking, considering the way you greeted her … that you’ve probably seen a lot more than that. Haven’t you. Unless you want me to believe that she’s meeting you here solely to pretend to do your laundry?”

Cold. Cold over his head, on his shoulders, across his chest, down to his feet.

iAm went instantly cold.

s’Ex was a lot of things, but one thing he rarely ever was … was angry. And the male was rip-shit pissed-off at the female who stood across the way from him, as if she’d put all of them into a situation that none of them were going to be able to handle.

If she’d actually been a maid? He wouldn’t have cared. The servant class was not valued above their ability to perform functions—s’Ex might have ordered her back to the Territory and sent her for some punishment, but he wouldn’t be this incensed.

Turning to
maichen
, iAm leveled his stare at her. In a perfectly calm voice, he said, “I am going to ask you once, and only once—and you are never going to get another chance to be honest with me. So take your goddamn time to think about what your answer to this question is going to be. Who. Are. You.”

As he waited for her reply, he thought back to one particular thing she’d said. At the time he’d taken the meaning in an opposite way. Now? He feared she’d been hinting at her truth; he just hadn’t realized it.

We’re equal, you and I.

No,
she’d said,
sadly
we are not.

Princess Catra vin SuLaneh etl MuLanen deh FonLerahn stared into iAm’s eyes. Although his voice had been even to the point of relaxed, he was anything but. Fury seethed under his skin as he came to his own conclusion—and was obviously just waiting to see if she had the guts to reveal herself.

“Give us a moment,” she said to the executioner.

“I don’t think so, Princess.”

“You will depart this room and wait out there”—she pointed to the open door—“until I call you back in here.”

s’Ex’s eyes narrowed, a flare of hatred glittering out at her. “Don’t flex muscles you do not have, female.”

“And I advise you not to test me. You will
not
enjoy the outcome—or survive it.”

As she pegged him with a hard stare, s’Ex’s upper lip curled back, but she did not care. He was a killer and a very potent male, but he was, and always would be, ruled by the traditions of the s’Hisbe. That was what was not understood about him—he had never once killed or maimed without provocation. And she had long suspected that he gave himself unto her mother not out of love, but to provide a stabilizing effect politically.

Few would guess the true role he played behind the scenes—but she knew it, because she had eavesdropped for all those years.

And yet in spite of the sway he held and the influence he had at the palace, he had never tried to overthrow or even diminish her mother in any fashion.

Instead, he had always upheld their ways. Protected them. Nurtured them.

“Go,” she snapped.

With a curse, s’Ex turned and walked off. When he reached the slider, he muttered, “You have no idea what you’re dealing with, iAm. Have fun.”

Stepping out, he closed the door. And stayed exactly where she had ordered him to remain.

Closing her eyes, she tried to find the right words. She hadn’t slept at all during the day, but had wrestled with her conscience for hours. And when she had come here earlier, she had been resolved: She was totally and completely in love with iAm.

And knew that it had been a terrible mistake to take things as far as she had.

It was time to tell him … before he touched her. After that, she would likely to be too lost once again.

Clearing her throat, she said, “I am—”

“Actually,” iAm interrupted, “don’t bother. That little act you just pulled with him is as much explanation as I need.” He broke off and began to pace, dragging his hands over his head. “What the fuck were you thinking—”

“I did not mean for this to happen.”

“Oh, come on, Princess, like you slipped and fell on my dick? We both know that’s not what went down.”

She frowned. “I do not quite understand that phrase, but given your tone, I must ask whether such crudeness is required—”

“Are you kidding me?” He threw his hands up. “You’re
betrothed
. To my
brother
. And not only did you lie to me, you
fucked
me!”

Catra crossed her arms and glared at him. “Perhaps you would like to rephrase that to reflect the truth.”

“So you’re delusional as well as a liar? Great. Fabulous. What exactly are you disputing? Your lying or our fucking?”

“If I remember correctly, you were hardly taken advantage of by me. And that’s what you’re making it sound like.” She jutted forward on her hips. “Indeed, I recall exactly how your voice sounded in my ear as you said my name.”

He recoiled. Blinked a couple of times. Then he leaned in as well. “But that wasn’t your name, was it. As far as I knew, I was laying with a maid, not the heir to the goddamn throne!”

“You
were
laying with me!” She struck her own chest. “I’m who you were with!”

“Bullshit! You don’t think for a fucking moment that I would have made different choices if I’d known who you really were? Or are you so fucking selfish and stuck-up, Your Serene Highness, that you can’t comprehend or care, for even a minute and a half, that there are repercussions when you lie about your identity and lose your virginity to the wrong fucking brother!”

“I didn’t mean for it to go as far as it did!”

“That I believe,” he countered grimly.

“iAm—”

“No.” He put out both his palms. “Just—no. I’m not going to rehash this bullshit with you. I don’t have the time or the interest.”

“I was going to tell you. I know that I’ve put you in a horrible position—”

“My brother just lost his
shellan
,” he snapped. “
That
is a problem. She died in front of him, and he spent most of the day and some of the night preparing her body for a goddamn funeral pyre. Then he got to watch her burn until there was nothing left but ashes on the cold ground.
That
shit is real. But, wait, the fun and games ain’t over! To top it all off, I just learned that your mother, bitch that she is, is prepared to attack the only people who have
ever
tried to take care of me and Trez if he isn’t delivered like an overnight package on her doorstep tomorrow at midnight. All so that he can have the very dubious honor and privilege of getting mated to the likes of you.” As Catra gasped, he bit out, “So the fact that I had sex with you is so far down my list of priorities, it’s not even on my radar screen. You just aren’t that big a deal, Princess.”

She was not going to cry.

No, she was not.

Even though her chest was screaming in pain, she would not crumble in front of him. She had brought this upon them both—and beyond the private strife, it appeared that real dangers for her people were imminent.

“I wanted to live,” she heard herself say hoarsely. “For once, I wanted to live. And I was not going to get a second chance. You … you were the only opportunity I was going to get, and I was going to tell you tonight. I knew it wasn’t fair. I’m very sorry.”

Turning away from him, she went to the sliding glass door and opened things up.

“Time for me to come and join the lovebirds?” s’Ex muttered.

“Were you aware that my mother has issued a declaration of war against Wrath, son of Wrath? Over the Anointed One and our mating?”

The executioner grew very still, his robes flapping around him in the gusts. Meeting her eye, he shook his head gravely. “If that is true, that would not be advised.”

A
nnnnnnnnd this was why people shouldn’t get married in Vegas after knowing a person for only twenty-four hours, iAm thought.

As the female he’d assumed was just a maid, but had turned out to be the heir to the fucking throne, confronted her mother’s executioner, he wanted to take the bridge. The only possible saving grace in the whole mess was that even though he’d managed to be the first lover of his brother’s betrothed, at least Trez wasn’t likely to be shattered.

Not because of that, at any rate.

Small comfort.

Wasn’t life grand.

The good news? He wasn’t going to have to be worried about any of this female shit again for a long while. After this experience? He was going back into the land of the left hand. Celibacy had worked for him thus far, and he was ready to re-embrace himself, so to speak.

s’Ex came in properly and shut the door behind him. “What is this about war?”

iAm rolled his eyes. “Don’t try to tell me that the Queen has made the threat without you. You’re the general of her army. Her enforcer. Give me a fucking break.”

“I can assure you,” s’Ex muttered as he whipped off his hood, “I would have told her no. We are capable warriors, especially my guards, and we have armaments that no one is aware of. That does not mean it is advisable to court the wrath of Wrath. His reputation over the centuries precedes him.”

iAm looked at the guy. Under other circumstances, he would have been convinced that s’Ex was talking truth, but after having just been snowed by
maichen
—the Princess, rather—he was not as arrogant about his powers of perception anymore.

“They’re not turning my brother over to your people,” he said. Then he glanced at the Princess. “And they have the backing of the
symphaths
. It doesn’t matter what you threaten or what you do, where you go or who you try to strong-arm, Wrath and the Brothers are
not
going to give him to you.”

“You make it sound as if I want him.” Her voice grew hoarse. “I do not. I shall take no male unto my body or my heart.”

He shrugged. “That would be poetic. If you hadn’t already proven how great a liar you can be.”

The flare of pain in her eyes was something he refused to dwell on. Hell, for all he knew, she was just disappointed she’d gotten caught.

Jesus, if she had mated his brother, would she have expected these little rolls in bed to continue—

Stop it. Just cut the crap, he told his brain. Given the number of things he could legitimately beat himself over the head with, he really shouldn’t be adding hypotheticals to the list.

“How did you find out about this?” s’Ex asked. “This declaration?”

iAm looked over at the male. “A call came in to the audience house. It was from an unidentified number on an untraceable line, but more to the point, as no one else in Caldwell knows about my brother’s situation with the s’Hisbe—or the mourning period of the Queen—it had to be legit. There was too much inside information, and as for how they got the number? It’s no big secret.”

Interesting how he’d used the
they
there.

Yeah, he was beginning to feel vampire, not Shadow, regardless of his DNA. Then again, Wrath and the Brotherhood had offered him and his brother food, shelter, friendship, loyalty.

The s’Hisbe had only been full of demands and jails.

“When you go back there,” iAm said, “you can tell them my brother and I aren’t staying with the vampires anymore, and Wrath and the Brothers have no knowledge of where we have gone. We are going to disappear, and none of you”—he glared at the Princess—“will be able to find us.”