Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps (10 page)

M
ichael, Milly, Jess, and Jason were all dressed and ready for school by eight o'clock the next morning. The lamp and handbook were stowed safely in Jess's bag. Just to be sure that Ollie knew what to do, Milly had written “rub me” on a label and tied it securely to the lamp's handle.

As they headed to Ollie's house, Jess ran over the final plan they'd decided on: “We get to the house. Michael turns into a genie and then Jason sneaks into the garden, taps on Ollie's window, and leaves the lamp on his windowsill for him to find.”

“It would be a lot easier if we could just grant our own wishes again,” said Milly.

“This is proper training,” Michael reminded her. “It's not supposed to be easy.”

“And we can't get ourselves disqualified after all this,” Jess added.

“That's Ollie's house,” Jason said as they turned into a
wide avenue. “That one with the white door.” He pointed out a smart bungalow with large gardens all the way around it. A yard-high wall separated the garden from a narrow path that cut through to the next street. They hurried toward it.

“Ollie's room's that one there,” Jason said, pointing to a window that overlooked the path.

Jess looked shiftily about to be sure they weren't being watched, but while one or two commuters were starting up their cars on the avenue, the path was quite secluded. She took
The Genie Handbook
out. There was a rustle and Skribble popped up through a crack in the cover.

“Are we here, at last?” he asked imperiously. “Have you found the boy?”

“Not yet,” Michael said. “But any minute now!” He put the lamp on the ground. “Genie me!”

No sooner had he vanished inside than the front door of the bungalow opened and a pretty girl walked out, her chestnut brown hair tied back in a sleek ponytail.

“Get down!” Jess hissed, ducking behind the wall and making Skribble squawk with surprise.

Jason crouched on the pavement beside her. “What is it?”

“You never told me
she
was Ollie's sister!” Jess watched
as the girl walked over to join two other girls with identical ponytails, waiting for her farther up the avenue. “That's Colette Jones and the Colette Clones,” Jess whispered as the girls walked away. “They're in my class.”

Jason nodded. “I met her when I was here for tea.”

“Hurry up, boy!” Skribble interrupted. “Before your wish-maker leaves, too!”

“Here goes!” Picking up the lamp, Jason climbed over the wall and raced across the garden to Ollie's window. He tapped loudly on the glass and then left the lamp on the window ledge. There was a large bush just to one side of the window, and Jason quickly ducked out of sight behind it—as the window opened.

Milly saw Ollie glance out. He had thin, straight brown hair with a fringe that flopped forward and sharp blue eyes that soon fixed upon the lamp on the windowsill.

“‘Rub me,” Ollie read out. Then he snorted. “Yeah, right. As if! It's bound to be a trick or something.” He stuck his head out the window and yelled: “Well, ha, ha, ha, whoever you are. You've lost your lamp, you big losers!”

Then the window slammed shut with a bang.

 

Inside the lamp, Michael felt the world turn upside down. “Whoa!” he cried, crashing into the metal sides as Ollie
chucked the lamp across his bedroom. It landed with a thud.

“What kind of nut do they take me for?” Michael heard Ollie's voice above him. “It's not like I'm some dumb little kid who believes in magic!”

Michael jumped to his feet. “Rub the lamp!” he yelled. He banged on the sides. “Pick it up and rub it!” But Ollie didn't seem to hear. There was the sound of footsteps moving away and then a door slamming shut. Then there was silence.

“Oh, great,” Michael groaned, shoving his head in his hands. “
Now
what am I going to do?”

 

Outside, Jason had raced back to join the others. “The plan's gone wrong!” he gasped, scrambling over the wall. “Ollie thinks it's a trick and won't rub the lamp!”

“We heard,” said Milly worriedly. “So Michael's stuck!”

“He could be there till sunset,” Jess realized.

“Or a good deal longer,” said Skribble.

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“As you know, a genie cannot leave his lamp until someone rubs it,” the bookworm reminded them. “The wishes that trainee genies grant only last until sunset. But the genie form is much stronger magic, granted by the book, and will last until the genie is summoned.”

Milly stared at him in dismay. “So Michael could be stuck in Ollie's house forever unless we get the lamp back?”

“Or until the lamp is rubbed,” Jason realized.

“But what if Ollie throws it in the bin?” Tears welled up in Milly's eyes. “We'll never see Michael again!”

“You really are the most incompetent clutch of children!” railed Skribble. “Whatever possessed you to choose someone who wouldn't rub the lamp? Of all the ridiculous things to do!”

“How were we to know Ollie would think it was a trick?” said Jess.

“Can't you help us, Skribble?” Milly begged.

“There is nothing I can do,” said Skribble, more softly.

Jess glanced at her watch and groaned. “Look at the time! We're late for school and…Quick,
duck
!” She yanked them both down behind the wall as Ollie came out of the front door and slouched away down the drive.

“Never mind school,” said Milly fiercely. “We've got to get Michael out!”

“We can't just break in, can we?” Jess said. “And if our schools phone home to find out why none of us are there…Look. We'll come back straight after school when Ollie's here and ask for the lamp back, okay?”

Milly carefully closed
The Genie Handbook
and put it in her schoolbag. “He'd just better say yes….”

 

Inside the lamp, Michael was pacing around in a small circle. “How am I going to get out of here?” he shouted. His voice echoed back at him mockingly from the brass walls of his prison.

The others will come and get me
, Michael told himself. He sat down and leaned against the wall of the lamp. “Wish I had my Game Boy with me. Still, I won't be here long.”

Two hours later, he realized that his optimism was misplaced.

Three
hours later, he realized the lamp was not equipped with a toilet.

By midday, he had worked out his 133rd preferred method of taking a terrible revenge on Milly and his stepsiblings.

By one o'clock he'd decided he would give them anything in the world if they would only get him out of here.

And by three thirty, Michael was going out of his mind with boredom. His stomach felt as if a wolf was tearing at it from the inside. He hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast and that had only been half a piece of toast.

“Please, guys!” he yelled in desperation. “This is officially
not
fun anymore. I'm a genie—get me out of here!”

E
ven as Michael yelled for help, Milly and Jason were crouched outside behind the wall, waiting for Jess—and for Ollie.

“Here he comes,” hissed Milly as Ollie came sauntering up the drive to his front door and let himself in. “Jase, you know him—ask him to give us the lamp back.”

“At once!” came Skribble's muffled voice from the book in Milly's schoolbag.

“Okay,” said Jason. He walked up the drive as casually as he could and knocked on the door.

Ollie opened it. “Oh, it's you, Jason,” he said shortly. “What do you want?”

“I…I wondered if you had seen a lamp lying around.” Jason felt the words tumble out of him. “Some people are looking for it on the next street and I said I'd help them find it.”

“Who are they?” Ollie demanded.

“I, er, don't know,” Jason said quickly. “If you've got
the lamp, I'll go and give it back to them, and find out who they are.”

“Well, I
haven't
got it,” said Ollie.

“Yes, you have,” said Jason. “We…
they
saw you pick it up.”

“So why are they looking on the next street, then?” Ollie inquired.

“I…” Jason blinked. “I don't know,” he finished lamely.

“You're such a loser.” Ollie shook his head and slammed the door shut.

Jason stared at the shut door for a moment and then walked despondently back down the drive.

“Hey, Jase!” He turned to find Jess hurrying down the avenue. “What did Ollie say?”

As they walked back up the path to where Milly was waiting, Jason explained what had happened. “I told you he was horrible!”

Milly nodded. “He's not a worthy wish-maker at all.”

Just then they heard the sound of people walking along the pavement. Jess groaned. “Oh, no, it's Colette!”

“You could ask her to get the lamp,” Jason suggested.

“But I hardly know her!” Jess cringed. “I can't just go up and start asking about some stupid lamp. She'll spread it all over school tomorrow. Everyone will laugh at me!”

“Would you like me to come with you?” Milly offered.

“That'll only make it worse!” Jess buried her face in both hands. If she had to get into Colette's house, the last thing she wanted was her kid sister hanging around.
Stepsister
, she corrected herself. “Just stay here, both of you.” Jess got up and marched toward the house.

Colette was just putting her key into the door.

“Hi, Colette!” Jess called out in a shaky voice.

Colette turned around. “Oh, hi…Jess.” She shrugged. “What do you want?”

“I…um…I saw you and I…” Jess's mind raced for a good excuse. “I was just wondering if you'd written down tonight's science homework?”

Colette looked puzzled. “It was just to finish off writing up the experiment, remember? Nothing complicated.”

“Oh, yeah. Dumb of me to forget.” Jess cursed herself for not thinking of something better, but it was too late now. “I'll…I'll just go then, I guess.”

Colette looked at her for a moment and then smiled. “Do you want to come in? We could do some of our homework together.”

Jess stared at her. Was this a trick? Or was Colette Jones, the most popular girl in her class, actually being friendly?

“Well?” asked Colette.

“I'd love to,” Jess murmured shyly. “Thanks.”

Colette opened the door. “Come on, then!”

Glancing over her shoulder, Jess saw Milly pop up from behind the fence, giving her a thumbs-up. “Go away!” Jess mouthed frantically.
Colette's going to think I'm teaching my little sister how to stalk her or something!

She followed Colette into a hallway. It was smartly decorated in shades of white and pale brown. An open door led into an enormous lounge. Jess caught a glimpse of two dark brown leather sofas, and a huge plasma TV on the wall. Colette headed out of the hall and along a wide corridor. There was a spacious designer kitchen on one side and bedrooms on the other. One door, half open, had Colette's name on a china plaque with painted stars around it. The other, firmly shut, had a handmade notice with the words:
OLLIE'S ROOM. STRICTLY PRIVATE
! written on it.

Jess couldn't resist looking inside Colette's bedroom. She felt a twinge of jealousy at how lovely it was, neat and tidy with purple walls framed by a sparkling white ceiling and carpet. There was a white dresser with a large double bed at one side, and hanging from the ceiling was a set of wind chimes with delicate glass fairies, tinkling in the breeze from the open window.

Fairies?

Jess stared. She had never expected to see fairies in Colette Jones's bedroom. Her gaze fell on the bookcase
by the window. The bottom shelf was filled with many of the same books she had had when she was younger—books about enchanted forests, unicorns, and mermaids.
I'd never have thought Colette was the sort of person who was into magic when she was little
, Jess thought.

Suddenly she gasped. There by the open window was Milly!

“Have you got the lamp yet?” Milly whispered.

“I'm working on it!” Jess said in a low voice. “Go away before you ruin everything!” With that, she hurried after Colette, who was in the kitchen pouring them each a glass of orange juice.

“I like the wind chimes in your room,” said Jess shyly.

“Oh, that old thing.” Colette looked a bit embarrassed. “I should take it down. Fairies are so babyish, aren't they?”

“Well, yeah, of course they are, but even so…” Jess smiled self-consciously. “I really like it.”

“You do?” Colette looked at her. “My mum's always telling me it's babyish. She's got this interior designer from Oxford making me a glass mobile to hang in its place.”

“Wow,” said Jess. But Colette didn't look so excited.
She probably has tons of cool stuff like that coming her way
, Jess thought.

“Were you into magic and stuff when you were
younger?” Colette asked hesitantly.

“Kind of.” Jess decided to be cool. “When I was really little.”

“Me too,” said Colette.

Jess wondered what Colette would say if she told her the truth about why she was
really
there—that she had come to rescue her stepbrother who was stuck in a magic lamp, trapped in the form of a bearded genie in a ninja outfit! “So where shall we do our homework?” she asked, changing the subject.

Colette started taking her books out. “We can do it in here. Mum and Dad are both working late, so there's just my little brother, and he'll probably be playing video games in the lounge.” She pulled a face. “He's such a pain. Do you have brothers and sisters?”

“A brother, a stepbrother,
and
a little stepsister,” Jess said. She glanced nervously at the kitchen window, half expecting Milly to come popping up with a set of binoculars.

“Three of them!” Colette's eyes widened. “That's gruesome. How do you cope?”

“Barely!” Jess shrugged. “I'm just, like, ‘whatever…'”

Colette smiled and nodded. “I wish I had an older brother instead.”

Jess raised her eyebrows. “One with cute mates?”

“Naturally!” Colette replied with a grin. “So, you're new around here—where did you move from…?”

As the conversation went on, Jess felt herself start to relax. This was fun. Almost like being back with her old friends, just chatting and hanging out after school. But at the back of her mind was the thought of Michael.
I have to rescue him
, she reminded herself.

Just then she heard a door open and saw Ollie slouch along the corridor toward the lounge. Her heart thudded. Maybe now was her chance. “Um, can I use your loo?” she asked Colette as casually as she could.

“Sure,” Colette replied. “It's just down the hall, past Ollie's room.”

Perfect
. Jess left the kitchen. Ollie's door was shut, and she could hear the TV blaring in the lounge.

Fingers shaking, she turned Ollie's door handle and slipped into the room. The smell of sweat and old sneakers hit her. Plastered over the pale blue walls were posters of comic book characters, and on the desk near the window a war game had been set up with small plastic aliens. Her eyes swept over the floor, which was covered with a clutter of clothes, toys, and gaming magazines. Where was the lamp? Her heart quickened as she caught a glimpse of gold beneath some old socks.

Jess flew across the room. “Got you!” she breathed,
bending down to grab the lamp.

“What are
you
doing in my room?” An accusing voice made her jump. She swung around. Ollie was scowling in the doorway.

“Er…nothing!” Jess stammered. She felt a blush blaze over her face. “I…I was just trying to find the toilet.”

“No, you weren't,” said Ollie. “You were after that lamp, weren't you? You were about to pick it up when I came in.”

Then, with the worst timing in the world, Colette appeared in the doorway. “What's going on?”

“I—I got the wrong door,” Jess stammered.

“Yeah, right!” Ollie jabbed a finger at her. “You were trying to nick that lamp. The one that was left on my windowsill.”

“Don't be stupid,” Colette said witheringly to Ollie. “As if Jess would be after anything of yours.”

“Yeah.” Jess hastily joined Colette by the door. “As if I would!”

“Bet you
were
trying to get it.” Ollie picked up the lamp. “What is it with this thing?”

“It looks just like a magic lamp from a fairy story.” Colette smiled suddenly. “I've always wished I could find one of those.”

“Really?” Jess said in surprise.

Colette blushed. “Um…I mean I
used
to wish it. When I was a really little kid, of course.” She swung around, looking suddenly flustered. “Come on! What are we doing here, wasting our time in Ollie's freak pit? Oh, yeah—you need the toilet. It's next door.”

Slipping into the bathroom, Jess locked the door and groaned. Now Colette must think she was a total weirdo, too stupid to find her way past two doors to a bathroom, and she'd blown her only chance of getting to Michael. Things were not going well—they were not going well at all!

 

“Jess!” Michael shouted. “Is that you?” Surely he had heard her voice?

Suddenly the lamp rocked, and he was hurled all about it.

“I suppose I might get a few quid for this if I flogged it to a junk shop.” That was Ollie's voice, loud and clear—he had to be looking at the lamp up close. “Mind you, needs a polish…”

“Yes!” Michael urged the boy, realizing this was his chance. “Yes, yes, yes, yes—
WHOA!
”

With a sudden, sooty
whoosh
of smelly air, Michael was catapulted out of the lamp. He gasped and collapsed in front of the door, clutching at his legs.

“Huh? Who—where—how…?” Ollie, a skinny streak of nothing with a pointy face, looked petrified. “What…?”

“Cramp,” groaned Michael. “I've been bunched up in there for—”

Ollie yelled at the top of his lungs.

“What's up with you now, Ollie?” Michael heard a girl's voice call.
Must be Ollie's sister
, he realized.
Guess
that's
who I heard
.

“Don't tell her I'm here,” Michael warned Ollie, his genie voice rumbling up inside him. “Or you will regret it!”

“It's n-n-n-nothing, Colette!” Ollie called, looking warily at Michael. Then he collapsed onto the bed. “This is just a dream, isn't it? I mean, I saw you come out of that lamp….”

While Ollie babbled on, Michael looked around the room. There were some war-gaming figures of Slitherbots with slush guns, there were Manga pictures on the wall…and there were CDs strewn over the shelves, review copies and beta versions of all kinds of games. Michael forgot all about his hunger pains.

“Hey!” Ollie gasped. “
Now
I get it. You're a
genie
!”

“What is your heart's desire?” boomed Michael. “Mate,” he added.

“I…” Ollie frowned. “I dunno. This is like…a dream.”

How original
, thought Michael. “Something to do with games, maybe?”

“I'm already bored with the Ultra….” Ollie looked suddenly thoughtful. “What I'd
really
like is a console that no one else has got. Something so cool it'll prove I'm way better than everyone else.” His eyes gleamed. “Yeah, that's my wish, Genie! I want to play a version of Maximum Carnage that's super-real—as real as real life!”

You what?
thought Michael. But already, flash-frames of Maximum Carnage game-play were zapping through his mind and big, booming words were rising up in his throat. “Your wish is my command!” he roared, loud enough to shake the windows.

Then there was silence.

Ollie looked around. “Well? Where is it then?”

Michael frowned. The wish had been a vague one, and he hadn't been sure how to grant it. Had it come true?

“If you've messed up, I'll—I'll sue you,” snarled Ollie, hands on hips. “Hand it over!”

“
Help!
” came a shriek from outside the bedroom.

“That's Jess!” Michael muttered. He threw open the bedroom door….

To find a huge, horrifying Slitherbot from Maximum
Carnage blocking his way. It looked like a half-melted marrow on legs, glaring at him through oily red eyes. But this was no creature of pixels and imagination. It was a living, breathing, snarling, spitting, scaly, slimy real-life monster.

And it was pointing its slush gun straight at him….