Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel (4 page)

His eyes narrowed on me. “Yeah, Loreley, I’m serious. I miss you.”

At that I burst out laughing, head thrown back, full on belly-shaking laughing. He had missed me.

Fucking hilarious.

My laughter turned to chuckles as I looked back at him. His face was set in hard lines and his eyes had turned angry.

“You think that’s funny?” He asked through clenched teeth.

“Oh yeah, I think that’s hilarious. Let me refresh your memory:
you
threw
me
away.
You
threw away what we had by being an asshole.”

“Like I said, I know I behaved like a dick, but you didn’t fight for us either, Loreley. You just walked away without looking back. I called. I left messages. You wouldn’t talk to me.”

Wow. If I hadn’t already known he was an asshole of the highest order, that comment would have told me.

“Oh, forgive me for not wanting to talk to the cheating asshole that fucked the first whore that came along,” I hissed sarcastically.

Jason’s head jerked back as if I had slapped him. “Cheating… What the fuck are you talking about?”

He could not be believed. Did he really think I didn’t know?

“I’m talking about you sticking your dick into the first pussy that came along only hours after we had a fight!”

“You think I cheated on you?” He asked incredulously.

“I don’t think. I
know
.”

“Loreley—” Jason said as he took a step towards me, but I put my hand up, making him stop.

“Don’t, Jason. You said what you had to say, now go. And don’t come back.” I lifted my chin, indicating the back exit door.

He ignored me.

“I never fucking cheated on you, Loreley.” His voice was low and very, very angry.

I shook my head at his audacity. That lying cheating asshole.

“Leave!” I leaned in and yelled in his face.

He advanced on me, his hands going up in preparation to hold on to me, to get close. I backed up until my back hit the office door, giving him the opening he needed to move into me. His hands cupped my face and lifted it to his, his nose almost touching mine.

“Listen to me,” he said on a soft but serious shake of my head, his voice low and growly.

“Let her go, Sanders,” I heard a different voice growled from behind Jason. I looked over his shoulder at Chris, whose face was set in an angry scowl.

“I’m talking to Loreley. This is none of your business,” Jason replied, not letting me go, not even taking his eyes from me.

“Loreley
is
my business. She asked you to go, you need to go. Now.”

Jason studied my face, his eyes serious and searching. I didn’t waver and glared back at him. Then he whispered, “I swear to God, Loreley, I never cheated on you. I’m gonna go, but I’m not leaving. We need to talk.” Then he let me go, turned and walked out the back door, slamming it.

I looked at the door for several moments, trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

“What the fuck was that?” Chris asked. I looked at him to see his eyes still on the door as well. His body was rigid and his voice was strained.

I shook my head at him. “I have no clue.”

He kept looking at the door.

His eyes came to me, assessing. “You okay?”

I nodded. “I’m okay.”

“Good. Go cover for me. I’m gonna make sure he’s gone.” He said as he walked to and out the door, his movements pissed but controlled.

I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Then I left my guitar in the office and went to pour drinks, determined to forget the last fifteen minutes ever happened.

Chris came back inside only a few minutes later. I didn’t ask but assumed that meant Jason had left. Chris didn’t say anything, but he still looked livid as he came marching back around the corner and started taking orders. Throughout the rest of the night I caught him looking at me several times. The first time I assured him I was okay; the second time I glared at him, telling him to stop. When he still didn’t stop, I ignored him all together. I just kept on serving drinks, trying not to let my mind wander as to why Jason was here in my town and what his unwanted reappearance in my life meant.

Of course, I failed at this.

I was livid.

How dare that asshole come into my bar, hide in the shadows while I play, make me sing that song, and then lie to my face about never having cheated on me.

What a total bastard.

If that was why he was here, to lie to me, to pretend I got it all wrong, then he better slink back under the rock he crawled out from.

No. Scratch that.

No matter why he was here, he better slink back under the rock he crawled out from.

He shouldn’t be here, had no business showing his face, had no right to talk to me, to get close, to touch me.

Seeing him again, being close to him, feeling his eyes on me, feeling his touch, it all brought back what I had worked so hard to forget. I despised my body for its traitorous reaction to being within touching distance of him. You’d think that after the pain and disappointment and heartbreak that man caused me, my body would see through the attraction and instantly repulse him.

But no such luck.

Seemed like when it came to Jason Sanders, my body was a slut.

I had no respect for sluts.

In fact, I hated them.

Just like I hated Jason fucking Sanders.

I almost broke the glass as I slammed Rick’s beer down on the bar in front of him, making it slosh over the sides and onto my hands.

“Goddamnit!” I hissed. I shook the excess beer off, grabbed a cloth, dried my hand, and then threw the cloth back behind the bar, all this time mumbling and grumbling profanities under my breath.

My head shot up when I heard Rick chuckle.

“You’re hotter than usual when you’re pissed off and I enjoy the view, but what’s crawled up your ass? Not twenty minutes ago you had a blast on that stage. What happened?”

I narrowed my eyes on him and did what every woman did when she was mad but didn’t want to talk about it. I said, “Nothing. I’m fine,” in the way that every man knew there was not one thing that was fine and he better back off and take cover if he didn’t want to get injured in the crossfire.

But Rick didn’t back off. Instead, he chuckled again, longer this time. Then, “Right. We both know that’s bullshit, but I can see you don’t want to share, so I’ll leave it alone for now.” Then he leaned in and his voice dropped, so that only I could hear him. “But Loreley, you know you can talk to me. I get why you don’t want to go out with me. I don’t agree with it and I can’t promise you I won’t keep trying, but I get it. Doesn’t mean I won’t still be your friend. I’ll leave you be for now, but I want you to know that if you want to talk, I’m here.”

I was still glaring at Rick, but we both knew I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t mad at him.

I was mad at Jason Jackass Sanders.

And I was mad at myself for letting him get to me like that.

Rick was a good man, probably one of the best men out there, and I wished I could feel more for him than friendship. He would make some lucky woman real happy someday. He would not be the kind of man who declared his love to a woman and then cheat on her, ripping her heart out, destroying her; nor would he leave that woman in the dust when she needed him. No, Rick wouldn’t do any of that. He didn’t have a bastardly bone in his body.

I hung my head for a second and breathed in a calming breath, then looked back up at Rick and told him what was wrong with me. “You’re right. I’m pissed. I’m pissed, because someone who screwed me over years ago just showed up out of the blue and got in my face. And I’m pissed at myself for letting someone who means nothing get to me like that.”

Rick studied me. “Can I ask who that someone is?”

I shook my head and clenched my teeth as I crossed my arms in an effort to ease the pain in my chest. The pain I had tried to let go of for the past six years. But since Rick was a detective, he didn’t miss much, meaning he didn’t miss this either.

“Who, Lore?”

I kept shaking my head at him as I answered, “It doesn’t matter.”

Rick’s eyes narrowed into slits, then he said in a tight voice, “Lore, I’ve known you for over twenty years, have been your friend for over twenty years, and have liked you more than a friend for a good chunk of that time. That look on your face and that pain in your eyes you are trying so hard to hide tell me that whoever that guy is, he means something to you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t affect you like this. Tell me now, Lore, whose ass do I need to go and kick.”

I smiled at him. “You’re a cop, Rick. You can’t just go and kick someone’s ass.”

“Watch me.”

I studied him for a few seconds before I looked away from his knowing eyes over his shoulder towards the crowd behind him, which I realized gratefully, was not really a crowd anymore. I kept looking at the people who were mostly strangers to me, watching them, but not really seeing them, while I tried to decide if and what I should tell Rick.

I looked back at him and could see that his eyes hadn’t moved from me and that his patience with me was running out. Before he could jump over the bar and shake the truth out of me—which I didn’t doubt he would do—I blurted it out before I could change my mind.

“Jason, my college boyfriend. We dated for almost two years. We were serious, planned to move in together, talked about our future together. We had a fight right after graduation and I caught him cheating on me. I left him. Now he’s back and I have no idea why.”

Rick’s jaw was clenched now as were his fists and his eyes were ablaze with anger.

“Your college boyfriend?”

I nodded. Rick knew what that meant. He understood.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered under his breath as he shook his head. “What are you gonna do?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I hadn’t gotten that far yet. “I don’t know. Try to ignore him.”

Rick’s eyes were boring into mine. “You ever need me, I’m here, Lore. I hope you know that.”

I did. “I know, Rick. Thank you.”

“What are you gonna do?” Chris asked me the exact same question Rick had asked me when he was driving us home.

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him the same answer I had given Rick. “Ignore him.”

“He seemed pretty determined, Lore. I’m not sure ignoring him is gonna work.”

“You have a better idea?” I asked.

Silence, meaning he didn’t.

“Maybe you should tell Cal. Between him and me, we can make sure Jason stays away from you.” Yes, Cal would make sure Jason stayed away from me. He would also probably end up getting arrested in the process. And I wouldn’t let that happen. He had a family to take care of, a new baby on the way. He didn’t need this shit.

“Let’s hope Jason leaves town before Cal gets wind of him being here, or I don’t know what he’ll do. It wouldn’t be pretty if Rick had to arrest him.”

Silence again. I could practically hear the wheels in his head turning.

“And the same goes for you, Chris. I don’t want to visit either of you in prison.”

Chris chuckled. “Don’t be dramatic, Lore.”

“I’m not. Jason is a famous rock star now. He’s the frontman of one of the most popular rock bands out there. You don’t think he would press charges if you beat the shit out of him?”

“I honestly don’t care. But if he did, it would make him an even lesser man than he already is.”

“Promise me, Chris. Promise me you won’t seek him out and get yourself in trouble.” Chris sighed, but said nothing.

“Chris,” I prompted, my voice angry now.

Another sigh. Then, “Fine. I promise I won’t start a fight. But if he gets in your face again like he did tonight or gets in my face, I can’t promise I won’t punch that pretty face of his.”

“And promise me you won’t tell Cal.”

“He’s not gonna be happy you kept it from him, Lore. He’s protective of you. And he’ll find out eventually. This is a small town and people talk.”

He was right. Cal would be mad when he found out. We had practically grown up together. Our dads had been co-workers and best buds and his mom had taken me under her wing when my mom had died when I was six. He was eight years older than me and mostly treated me like his annoying little sister. But no matter how annoying he thought I was still to this day, I had his love and protection in the brotherly way that was seriously awesome.

“Yes, he probably will. But hopefully, Jason will be gone by then.”

“All right. But don’t tell me I didn’t warn you when his head explodes and he reams you out.”

“Noted.”

Neither of us talked as he drove us home the rest of the way.

My classic rock mix sounded in my ears while I was running through the woods that started behind my house and skirted around town, leading me around in a big four-mile loop until I would come out down the hill at the other side of town. I had decided to run the big loop today. Running always made me feel better, always cleared my head. Since there was a lot going on up there today, I figured I needed a long and exhausting run to sort it.

Not only had I tossed and turned last night, trying to figure out against my better judgement how I was going to handle Jason being in town, but I had been worried of what today might bring.